Xavier_Stone Reviews

Concordia (2024– )

AI simple story

[5/10 · 26 May 2024]

This is an AI story that is about as simple and basic as one could get. Creating a city and then covering it in cameras and then having people move in and something goes wrong.

It shouldn't be that hard to figure out who dun it, and that's the simple mystery. Lots and lots of video camera work that is added unnecessarily and super close ups are overall distracting.

It's not entirely bad, but it's not really good either, hence the middle of the road rating. I won't be watching more as it's fairly bland. I'm sure there will be some twists along the way but I don't find it that interesting. There's just going to be more and more videos shown of closed circuit cameras recording everything to creep everyone out. 5/10, some ok parts but mostly not interesting to continue.

Afterwards (2008)

Just not good enough to enjoy

[3/10 · 23 May 2024]

The opening scene is fine and sets up a little history for later on. And for that we have to wait and wait and wait. Tons of long drawn out scenes that do nothing for the movie. Long drives, thunderstorms, walking in the woods and so on. For a film about death this is mostly expected but it's utterly aimless in direction.

The cover art has John and Evangeline on it which is weird as neither are the lead character in the film. And a gun, which no one uses in the film??? Evangeline might have 20 or 30 lines of dialogue and is a secondary character. The lead mumbles throughout and a strong french accent is difficult to discern.

By far the biggest problem with this film is that there is just not enough story to build on. Just some lines from John that are supposed to make us think about the end of life.

The ending it very poor, and doesn't do the rest of the build up justice. It just ends abruptly and it's very annoying after spending all this time and effort crafting wooden characters trying to get the feels to the audience.

3/10. Mumbling characters have a hard time making a dent in a serious movie. Jumping from location to location, scene to scene with barely a plan does not make for an enjoyable movie. Mostly just bits stitched together and hoping it works. It doesn't.

Lovely, Dark, and Deep (2023)

Missing 4-1-um I forget the rest

[1/10 · 20 May 2024]

This is a movie based on an idea and they forgot what they were writing about. Teresa Sutherland hasn't written anything but mediocre short films and here she proves that anything longer than 10 minutes is just too large a task for her.

This is entirely a 10 min film stretched out to 90 mins. Lots of long scenery shots, and the entire dialogue can be summed up in a few pages.

Another reviewer had is correctly, it takes 40 minutes to get going, and then runs out of gas and starts turning itself into an art film project.

The ending is about a bad as you can make it. There is no reason why this film was made. It's surely not developing any writing skills or bringing out the talents of any actor with the minimal lines written for everyone.

Zero effort deserves zero stars. 0/10 for dragging and extending a short film out so that you can say that you've completed a task.

Invasive (2024)

Good premise for the first 10 minutes, then gets silly

[2/10 · 17 May 2024]

The entire premise of this movie has two young kids working as caterers to gain access to their wealthy client's homes. This doesn't work anymore since the invention of security cameras and alarm systems.

We are supposed to believe that this billionaire that owns the entire island doesn't have cameras. Ok, I guess maybe he's a bit paranoid. But then he also doesn't have an alarm system on his house. The house that is absolutely filled with expensive items, and also has a full on lab in the basement. Hmmmm.

But then it gets better. As he somehow doesn't have a home alarm, but also has a complete house lock down system activated on his phone.

The plot armor is heavy with the film. Extremely poor writing. Zero thinking needed.

Then having a teen girl somehow smash a glass sensor to free herself. Nevermind that it's underwater and smashing it bare handed would be impossible for her. Then she escapes the home by means of -- I kid you not -- knocking out a window air conditioning unit. I guess the multi million dollar home builders didn't think to add central air to all the rooms

And on and on it just gets sillier and sillier. Writer/Director Jem Garrard has not done anything but made a few episodes of tv shows and was most logically a substitute for when someone got sick.

It's called proof reading a script Jem. If you gave your script to any adult who has read more than 4 books they could have pointed out all of your mistakes and silly plot armor. Your whole movie is just this needs to happen cause our characters have to get from A-B-C.

2/10 for the intro 10 minutes which got me hooked, then it just collapses in on itself. Go back to creating shorts Jem, please.

Dark Matter: The Box (2024) Season 1, Episode 3

A filler episode? Already?

[2/10 · 15 May 2024]

This episode is nearly all drama and people talking and showing life in the two different worlds. Nothing happens, no questions answered or any explanations.

Usually with a story this complex there is some foundation work to explain some things. Here we just have a mysterious box that nobody can figure out.

I can't watch this nonsense any further, it's just making things up as they go along, no thoughtful thinking and it just all falls apart.

This episode is nearly all drama and people talking and showing life in the two different worlds. Nothing happens, no questions answered or any explanations.

Usually with a story this complex there is some foundation work to explain some things. Here we just have a mysterious box that nobody can figure out.

I can't watch this nonsense any further, it's just making things up as they go along, no thoughtful thinking and it just all falls apart.

The Green Veil (2024– )

Not much of anything here

[3/10 · 14 May 2024]

Perhaps it's the 30 minute time format, but it feels empty for the most part. Once you reach the end of an episode there is no cliff hanger or reveal to keep the audience watching, or interested.

The actors are generally fine but it's the poor story that fails to generate any kind of interest. There are adductions and aliens and boot legging liquor in the trailer but these seem more like a bait and switch and aren't really given much screen time.

Writer/director/producer Aram Rappaport hasn't really had much previous success in the industry and this won't add anything to his resume. It just seems like a lot of ideas were generated and then he had to chop it down to a 30 minute show.

I watched the first 2 very slow shows, skipped ahead in the 3rd and then gave up. Adding more stuff to the story here when you haven't fleshed out anything is basically making soup with everything in the kitchen and hoping it turns out alright.

3/10 for effort. Might have been better with a 60 minute, but perhaps not. Story is all over the place trying to fill 30 different cups.

To the other reviewer on here who gave the 10/10 stars, user ksnje, an account holder for 17 years. You waited until May 14 2024 to write your first review ever, and it's this series???

The Humanity Bureau (2017)

Director and Writer fail to create any semblence of a movie

[1/10 · 11 May 2024]

Perhaps if all that your film industry resume has in it is short film and helping out on other productions you should be self aware of your skills. Or lack thereof.

There is an entire internet that is available for testing and teasing out ideas and seeing what works and what fails miserably like this film. This is not an if at first you don't succeed type of industry. You can't fake it til you make it. Put out quality films and get recognized, even if they are low budget.

This is just horrendously bad. It feels like the ideas were on a napkin during a lunch and never expanded. So many strange choices made by the writer.

It's a low effort film and perhaps your next one will not be granted so easily without oversight.

This also could be proof of money laundering as there is such a low effort to create a decent film here. Anyone's guess. 1/10, avoid.

The Last Stop in Yuma County (2023)

Incredibly poor character decisions = bad film

[2/10 · 11 May 2024]

What is exactly the writer/director's point of making a film about dumb people making bad choices?

Are we supposed to learn from this somehow or is it just a low level form of entertainment?

Just a terrible low budget single setting film at a diner. It tries to be part Reservoir Dogs diner scene but it gets lost in actually creating a good story with believable characters.

Very frustrating to watch, can't recommend and by the end you'll be asking yourself what did I just watch. This could be trimmed down to a 10 min youtube short with the exact same story. There is a reason aspiring film makers go to film school, and that's to have their ideas on display and to figure out what works and what doesn't. This doesn't.

Get to a film school before making any more films. Clearly this is a self funded project as nobody would loan you money for a project like this. 2/10 for the poor attempt and spending $4000 on the explosion.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)

20 mins of story, 2 hrs of wandering, 5 min climax

[2/10 · 10 May 2024]

This is a terrible movie, I don't know how anyone can say otherwise. The first 2 hours of this movie is just wandering around on an adventure to find some apes that were taken. That's it. Not exactly an edge of your seat action/adventure movie the previous editions had.

There are some interesting points but it gets extremely boring to watch the main ape characters speak in broken sentences for 2.5 hours.

Then we get to the climax and it's over in about 5 minutes with the simple task of going in through an air vent. Then their plan is to blow the wooden gates to flood the vault. Maybe closing the doors was over looked.

The directors and writers completely disregard simple physics and the audience is given that a 15' sea dam breaking is going to somehow flow upwards 200' and flood the entire vault. Sorry, nope.

Overall 2/10 for the simple CGI. Hopefully the director and writer are exposed for this mess and we can not have them work again for another few years. It takes real talent to get a large budget movie with an established history and junk it up this bad. Most 7/10 reviewers are embarrassed to admit they fell asleep watching.

Dark Matter (2024– )

Counterpart ripoff on a budget

[3/10 · 8 May 2024]

As another reviewer had said it is a copycat of the Counterpart show. Joel Edgerton is Decent enough and Jennifer is also ok but the big issue for me is the backstory.

Counterpart had loads of characters and a good foundation to build on, which is why it went multiple seasons. With this, well, we have a box. Not joking. That's it and there's little else besides the choices made and missed and regrets and so on.

Anyone looking for serious sci-fy or tense drama or brain puzzle conspiracies will be deeply disappointed. This is mostly just a clueless guy trying to get back to his old life. I'm sure as we get further along the original wife and son will start noticing something off with the new husband.

3/10. Apple seems to lacking any original ideas. Poaching the counterpart series and making a few changes, zero special effects or fancy sets. Basically the bare minimum effort here. Watched 2 episodes and will probably be done with it if it doesn't get any better.

FYI, if you are going to copy a show's main idea at least bring something new to the table.

The Fall Guy (2024)

2 hours of stunts mixed with a bit of romcom

[3/10 · 4 May 2024]

This is overly long and the schtick gets old really fast. Most of the audience will tire of watching silly characters spewing childish dialogue over and over then popping in a stunt here and there to fill the voids.

Some of the stunts are good, but the overall movie is just a poor vision to highlight the stunt man job. It was frustrating to watch such silly characters even more when I like the actors.

Mostly a childish movie. 3/10 for the stunts, not much else.

This is overly long and the schtick gets old really fast. Most of the audience will tire of watching silly characters spewing childish dialogue over and over then popping in a stunt here and there to fill the voids.

Some of the stunts are good, but the overall movie is just a poor vision to highlight the stunt man job. It was frustrating to watch such silly characters even more when I like the actors.

Mostly a childish movie. 3/10 for the stunts, not much else.

Take Five (I) (2013)

Simple story, bumbling clowns on a budget of under $50k. Poor

[2/10 · 2 May 2024]

I like heist films, this one is a bad one. Let's start with the super simple back story, gather a misfit bunch of guys and the easy peasy break into a vault through the sewers.

Not much to keep the audience's attention in this one. Mostly we just watch these guys fumble around time after time. There's a few more characters that really don't add anything to the story, but because it's so simple to begin with.

There is zero tension in this, which is a must for any crime movie. Perhaps the writer/director is used to creating soap opera dramas or something. This is all around a struggle to watch, and the budget is less than the cost of a mid range auto.

The only thing you'll learn watching this, is that a movie can be made for the bare minimum. Heck, I've seen bar tabs with a bigger budget.

Civil War (2024)

The trailer has all of the 10 minutes of action

[1/10 · 30 April 2024]

This movie is abysmal. Really. I don't know how any of people reviewing can overlook such a boring film which is basically a Walking Dead episode. A group of journalists are driving to DC. That's it. A road trip.

The trailer makes it look like there are Texas and California factions fighting against each other. Heck, there's even military jets flying over. Classic bait and switch, the title is very misleading, but of course if it was labeled War Photography nobody would watch it.

Most of the characters are simple, the dialogue is the bare minimum and there is nothing really done to explain anything. This is a tv episode expanded and nothing more. 1/10, utter trash.

Parish (2024– )

It just doesn't work

[3/10 · 31 March 2024]

Creator Sunu Gonera is getting his first television show all to himself and it just continually falls flat. The first thing you'll notice is the frequent music score, and it is just over bearing loud and mostly annoying. Then once you start watching the simple high school simple dialogue is just too predictable.

The opening scene and the usual cut back to "7 days earlier" is just getting old with shows in a lame attempt to keep us watching and spoils any mystery.

As we find out more about the central family the obvious poor father tropes show up. Even the toilet paper piece when he cuts himself shaving. Ugh.

The gangster scene is just poor. I like Esposito and he was amazing in Breaking Bad, but here he is just tasked to carry the whole show and nobody else helps out.

I like the New Orleans setting, but the story is sub par. The heist itself is good, albeit 4 minutes worth. Then the episode ends with an after the heist meeting.

Not much of anything of substance here, 3/10, I'll watch one more but I think it'll all fall apart as it will be just all post heist drama, and the gangster group arguing amongst themselves.

I really wanted to like this, but it's just low hanging fruit created by a guy with limited film and writing experience which is expected, no surprises here.

American Rust: Homecoming (2024) Season 2, Episode 1

Absolute Garbage

[1/10 · 30 March 2024]

So here we have Jeff trying to get back in with his vigilante police unit and gets sent in to do a deed. And he just shows up and points a gun, and that's called a pass. Really??? Who wrote this? Some high school kid? Cause that only works in high school.

Remember these are guys who purposely sent in people asking him about previous incidents. They put a lot of effort into re-vetting him and his background.

But somehow he gets a pass without firing a shot. And of course he's wearing a wire under his jacket and easily exposed. GTFO.

As far as the rest of the show, mostly drama and updates from the time spent between the seasons.

1/10 for this. You can't spend so much time on this cop drama and have it just crumble upon any examination.

Anna (VII) (2013)

Interesting start, falls apart rather quickly

[3/10 · 29 March 2024]

Mark Strong carries this movie and he has a very heavy load. The mystery mind memory thing only gets so far until the view starts to think that something is up and the mystery is gone.

The plot is rather straight forward and the detective skills here are rudimentary at best. Even the most basic things are overlooked until the very end.

Not much of a payoff ending, rather predictable. The real mystery here is how this project was approved when the story is so mediocre and elementary.

Not much else to say. Not the earth shattering mind meld all the high rating reviewers are saying it is. Perhaps if you've seen less than a dozen films this is interesting, otherwise pass.

Population: 11 (2024– )

Tough to watch

[2/10 · 28 March 2024]

I made it until the end of the second episode and had to bail. Nothing interesting and it seems almost like a Seinfeld show where it prides itself on making entire episodes about silly nonsensical stuff.

There was an idea here somewhere and then it just peters out fast. Bumbling around and all of the characters get tiresome really fast. Not much else to say. If you make it as far as I did then you know what you're in for. Even this show doesn't deserve 600 chars explaining how bad it is.

I made it until the end of the second episode and had to bail. Nothing interesting and it seems almost like a Seinfeld show where it prides itself on making entire episodes about silly nonsensical stuff.

There was an idea here somewhere and then it just peters out fast. Bumbling around and all of the characters get tiresome really fast. Not much else to say. If you make it as far as I did then you know what you're in for. Even this show doesn't deserve 600 chars explaining how bad it is.

3 Body Problem (2024– )

Condensed version, unfulfilled as expected with D&D.

[5/10 · 23 March 2024]

I got hooked on the official Chinese program last year and after several episodes it stalled out and I started skipped ahead, which only made it worse. I think there was 4-5 episodes of the video game and I just couldn't be bothered. Then it got so out of hand I gave up and didn't finish.

This American version looked promising from the previews, until I found out that the D&D guys that butchered the Game of Thrones series are behind this. The guys who just winged the last season of a great story, zero thinking and created the worst final season in the history of television. So yeah, there is going to be parts that absolutely make no sense so I'm prepared.

I finished it and it's a decent watch. As other reviews have pointed out the casting is poor, female strong leads and bumbling men are standard as per 2020 Netflix. The dialogue is sub par with lots of buzz words. Lots of drama like a Friends episode. A few plot holes that just don't make sense which is expected with D&D running the show.

It could have been really good, but these two guys just don't have the skills to make something anything better than average. I'm sure that they are wealthy enough from GoT, but they'll never get any awards.

When you have an entire book series as a baseline, plus a popular Chinese television version of it for 30+ episodes it seems like you should be able to just pick out the good parts, summarize and edit. All of the heavy lifting, writing and creating is already done.

I'm confident that D&D couldn't even remake Bambi to make it interesting and watchable. 5/10. Lots of chit chat and drama between the interesting scenes. Heck we even have time to chat about a goldfish.

Land of Bad (2024)

Tons of logic flaws, but decent action

[5/10 · 20 March 2024]

It could have been much better if the writers had done just a tiny bit of research on how drone operators work and the military in general. Loads of flaws and naive soldiers becoming supermen in a few hours of combat.

Overall it's a good action flick but you need to not use your brain to do any thinking. Somewhat predictable and at times entirely not believable.

Not much else to say, Russell and Helmsworth are ok and average. Don't expect too much and you'll find it a good watch.

It could have been much better if the writers had done just a tiny bit of research on how drone operators work and the military in general. Loads of flaws and naive soldiers becoming supermen in a few hours of combat.

Overall it's a good action flick but you need to not use your brain to do any thinking. Somewhat predictable and at times entirely not believable.

Not much else to say, Russell and Helmsworth are ok and average. Don't expect too much and you'll find it a good watch.

Apples Never Fall (2024)

This is a daytime soap opera series, zero payoff. Avoid

[1/10 · 18 March 2024]

There are a few talented actors in this and they should know better after reading the script. Nothing happens, and we are just watching a family drama for 7 episodes of an hour each. This is just really all filler.

I watched the first episode waiting for something to happen and nothing really does. A mystery woman shows up to freeload off of a rich family and nobody asks any questions or gets any answers.

It was starting to get frustrating so I skipped ahead to the ending and I'm glad I did, there is no reason to make this drag out for so long. It's exactly like a soap opera, with new drama coming out each hour and then resolved only to open up a different drama conflict.

1/10. Avoid. It feels like you're being deliberately mislead.

Constellation: Paul Is Dead (2024) Season 1, Episode 6

Baby wipes??!!##>>

[1/10 · 13 March 2024]

I guess it had to happen sooner or later, an unbelievable scene to make everything else that's so outlandish seem normal. But baby wipes to fill a crack in the glass? Unreal.

I guess the writers are really just out of any ideas, and have no idea how anything is supposed to work. Jumping from timeline to timeline, quick character interactions and then some flashbacks. Lol.

Perhaps if you spent a long enough time plotting everything out or are really invested in this you can keep watching, I just can't and have to stop now.

Sure there was some cool dual universe theory in the beginning but the writers have rehashed and rehashed that same idea for ages now. It doesn't make for an interesting show.

Can't do anymore and I'm out. When your space drama continually focuses on the child actors perhaps you've lost your way.

Damsel (2024)

Millie is a warrior now, I guess

[3/10 · 9 March 2024]

Pretty lame right off the bat with a limited cast. I guess they used all of their budget on the cgi for the Dragon instead of a decent story or characters.

Tons of plot errors and a straight forward simple revenge story. Not much in the way of a cast here, kingdoms of people and yet we only see about 20 in any one scene. The set designer could have done the whole movie in my garage it's so tiny.

Millie is a decent actress but she's not a UFC fighter that she portrays here. Other characters are average but the dialogue is too simple to take seriously.

Poor writing, poor story, ok cgi so 3/10 for that.

The Gentlemen (2024)

Rather dissapointing the more it goes on

[4/10 · 8 March 2024]

Guy Ritchie can do some good films, but this is just drawn out twists and turns in which characters don't seem to make any sense. They're angry, betrayed then 20 mins later everything is forgiven only to be betrayed 10 mins later and repeat.

It gets old fast. The last few episodes are annoying at best with the ending being absolute garbage. The actors are decent enough but the scenes are just terrible and the entire plot/story is just not that entertaining.

So much promise after the pilot episode, but it just gets worse and worse with the audience mostly shaking their heads at the steps along the way. 4/10. Could have been done so much better with the budget and actors involved. Seems like it was a movie that was stretched out to 8 episodes of 40 minutes each. Tons of filler.

The Regime (2024)

Possibly the worst television in the last 5yrs

[1/10 · 4 March 2024]

Unlike some of the other reviewers here, I actually liked the Mare of Easttown for a bit, interesting and watchable.

This is something completely different and is just so over the top it's hard fathom who the intended audience is. We have an entitled political leader and maybe it's a dark comedy or something, but not really.

I watched 5 mins, then quickly skipped ahead, watched another 5 minutes and so on. This was painful and I couldn't even remain engaged for any longer before skipping ahead in hope of finding something interesting.

I can't recommend this to anyone, anywhere, even 80yo British ladies won't like this, which seems to be their target audience.

I spent nearly 20 mins watching/skipping and to do any more is clearly just punishing oneself.

The Call (II) (2013)

Good start, bad middle, trash ending

[2/10 · 2 March 2024]

The tension was good for the first part of the movie with setting up 911 operator scenes and detailing the call center and the people who work there. The middle was a bit of a stretch and the writers mostly did everything they could to drag it out.

This is written by limited experience writers with an equally mediocre director, and it shows. No coherent thinking on how to make the scenes flow together. The cops can't find a car when it's called in although a concerned citizen has no problem.

It just goes off the rails and they have to stretch it out. Then the ending has something of a superhero vibe of a female operator turned private detective with an amazing ability to find the perpetrator's house when cops have no clue. Then she investigates the place alone and finds some sort of proof and a motive of sorts. And then she wanders around on an acreage and finds the secret hide out in under 5 minutes and fights the villain unarmed no less.

Utter garbage.

With several seasoned actors in this, I have to ask. When you read a script this bad and it gets greenlit how do you go through the motions knowing that it's bad? God sakes, have some respect for yourselves. 2/10 for the first 20 mins.