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Reviews
Lights in the Sky (2020)
Fascinating.... if it's not a Hoax; and that's a Big IF.
Something about the infrared footage, and all the zoom-ins and different colors, raises some alarm bells for me. But up to this point, I'm still all on board. There's so many legit pictures and videos coming out these days, that I'm still on board. But THEN, we get to the insect-shapes and I see immediately that they all look suspiciously like Atari animation. Like beta, reject Atari scraps from 40 years ago. And I begin to feel like this lady is just laughing at me now. It's all the asses out there faking everything, who call into question (and doubt) the real, legitimate footage (which, at this point, can't be denied by honest hearts and minds).
Wrong Turn (2021)
Aw jeez...
Why even pretend to have a plot here? Just declare your moral superiority and preach! This isn't really a movie; it's a sermon.... and about as entertaining. There's absolutely ZERO character development. These hollow characters have ZERO personality (and therefore likability), and no chemistry with each other whatsoever. Unfortunately it's become a trend in "cinema" these days. The viewer couldn't care less about any of these pretend-people, because their external appearance was all the movie's creators cared about! But hey, at least all the important Woke boxes were checked off here (and I mean ALL of them), otherwise this "movie" probably wouldn't have been allowed to be released in the first place. I just wish there was some kind of Wokometer along with the R-rating. Normal people - lovers of quality cinema, at least - ought to have protection against over-paying for sociopolitical opinion disguised as a movie ($1.89 at Redbox), and wasting 90 minutes of our lives.
The Giant (2019)
Aww Jeez, REALLY???
The $5.99 I spent on this movie forced me to watch past the 20th minute, ULTRA regretfully. 50 minutes in and I just want to follow the example of the protagonist's mom here and find the nearest noose. First off, I came from a small town; people I knew died, were murdered AND killed themselves. Yet NOBODY was ever as depressed and miserable and bored as literally every single character in this film. The murdered girls are the real heroes of this movie if you ask me! Or at least they provide the viewer with the most hope of getting OUT of this experience. They lead by example by disappearing altogether, and 75 minutes in I am now fully willing to follow them into a dark, watery grave somewhere in Georgia. Secondly, is it really that painful for the creators of this incoherent sludge to actually EXPLAIN any part of what's going on here? Must they make every scene twice as confusing and pointless as the previous? We're not talking Memento here, or Donnie Darko; there's nothing smart or entertaining with this movie, especially 100 minutes in! Did even one actor have the slightest clue about the script they were reading? Did the Director? What's happening here? Is this a nightmare? Have I been drugged? Who am I? What are you? When is this? And finally, how for why at where now?