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Ahsoka (2023)
Amateuristic writing and directing
Firstly I want to point out that even if you have seen the Star Wars animated series and movies, this show is still amateuristic and bland. I have seen The Clone Wars and Rebels and all the movies and the characters from these series are nothing like their animated counterparts.
The story or plot in this series is enormously contrived. The protagonists make the dumbest decisions which they only make because the writers need to further the plot and not because it is a realistic decision made by a good written character.
All the plot does is relying on nostalgia and recurring characters. Everytime a familiar face pops up I can almost hear a fake sitcom cheer to remind us that you should like this very much because Anakin is in it and C-3PO just pops into a closed trial.
As worse or maybe even worse is the directing. Actors just stand there with no emotion. They don't blink, their words are spread out in time just so the writer could fill in the minimal time requirement of an episode. The backgrounds and environments are bland and nothing happens there that could enrich the world of Star Wars.
Also the world never felt smaller, again because of the reliance on recurring characters. In a galaxy with millions of stars and billions of people apparently the same handfull of people pop up everywhere to save the day or to say something to trigger our nostalgia senses.
All in all this series does not have any themes, or morals or even a simple fun story. The protagonist do things wrong and they don't have to face the consequences of their stupid actions. The villians act as if they are super smart, but cannot just aim their guns at three lonely people riding horsedogs. And to top it all of, people consume this despicable creation as if Dave Filoni is the messiah that will bring balance to the Star Wars Universe. He did fun things with the Animated Series but this is just bad, so excruciating bad.
Ahsoka: Part Eight: The Jedi, the Witch and the Warlord (2023)
Really? Not a single laserblast hit them?
The finale of season one of Ahsoka. After finding Ezra without breaking a single drop of sweat in last episode our untouchables are on their way to stop Thrawn.
The main theme in this episode is that absolutely nobody, villain or hero, has a plan.
Ezra: "Ahsoka how are we going to stop Thrawn?"
Ahsoka: "Let's try the front door."
And they ride on their horsehounds through a barrage of laserfire from Thrawns Star Destroyer. Lasercannons that are capable of leveling a city. And they just waltz through it, nobody got hit or burned from the intense heat.
Sabine suddenly can use the Force and the writers want to make it very clear that she trained by putting it in the horrible dialog. Opening doors and Force pushing Ezra ten meters in the air no problem anymore for Sabine. I really like that we see no effort whatsoever and she still succeeds. Wouldn't it be nice if real life was like that?
Moreover they survive dozens of stormtroopers, Morgan witch with her new cool blade who gets killed immediately, another barrage of Star Destroyer laser fire and the wake of the hyperdrive. It was epicly atrocious.
Thrawn acts as if it is weird that they survived is super smart plan of doing nothing until his enemy literally stepped into his stronghold. Maybe if you flew into the air with your ship the moment you found Ezra and Ahsoka and bombarded them and send your tie fighters at them it would be slightly more efficient. Then again this episode proved that it's literally impossible to hit them with anything.
Ezra escaped his solitary confinement on the planet and now Ahsoka and Sabine can chill in his place with the small turtle people. Sabine and Ahsoka have a conversation about how it was all worth it because now Ezra is home. Because apparently that is all that matters. All the casualties that will result in the upcoming conflict with Thrawn don't matter because Ezra is home. Even though a few episodes back Ahsoka, the hypocrit, lectured Sabine about the greater good. Why can't the writers give Sabine some hardship. Let her suffer the consequences of her actions. She did something terrible and Ahsoka just accepts it.
So that concludes our story. Oh wait, no we see Shin who dissapeared without any mention after last episode, walking to those bandits who she is gonna lead for some reason. We see Baylan staring at some mountains and Ezra finding his way back to Hera. Because apparently nobody noticed that a shuttle flew away from Thrawns Star Destroyer.
Ahsoka: Part Seven: Dreams and Madness (2023)
Unbelievable, frustrating and infuriating
The start of this episode shows us Hera who has to answer before the Republic for disobeying orders. One of the senators raises fair points. She disobeyed direct orders which got several pilots killed. Pilots who followed Hera willingly and she doesn't seem to care that they died. Her defence is most infuriating, instead of showing her evidence of the hyperdrive and Imperial engineers in the harbor and just her ships sensor logs of her battle with Imperials, she just rambles about how she can justify it all because she cares. If you care then you have to convince these politicians why they should care as well, with evidence!
Furthermore there is just one senator who says anything. Grand Chancellor Mon Mothma just sits there looking sad. It is clear that she is convinced that the threat is real, but instead of helping Hera by nudging her into presenting her physical evidence, which she has, she just sits there. And then it becomes clear why she is so passive. Because off course we need to show a nostalgic character like C-3PO to drop the name of Leia who says it is all okay. Ah, the sweet scent of nostalgia.
After that display of showcasing infuriating characters and nostalgia we go to the other galaxy where Sabine is just hanging out with her mate Ezra still not telling her idiotic move to doom the galaxy so she could see Ezra. So no urgency to get home? What was your plan Sabine? I mean it is fine if you want to spend your days with Ezra on that planet but the previous episodes did imply that you wanted to save him and bring him home.
Then we see Ahsoka who has no plan as well. She almost literally says that they're just going to wing it. Which she does! They get out of hyperspace straight into a minefield, flying through it without breaking a sweat. Then proceeds to dodge hundreds of lasers from her pursuers and hide into an asteroid/boneyard field which should be too dense to traverse safely. But no problem, literally.
She reaches out with the Force too find Sabine, because why not. She succeeds, gets bombed by Thrawn, survives again without any problem. After another chase scene, which again is barely an inconvenience, she fights Baylon who just left his padawan suddenly because mystery things. She would have lost weren't it for Huyang who just happened to fly by on the exact moment she needed drop some smoke and she flees to rescue Ezra and Sabine.
And here is the most frustratingly dumb moment of all. Shin has got Ezra and Sabine surrounded. She orders the stormtroopers to fire. Ezra yells 'Wait!'. The stormtroopers apparently listen to Ezra! Not one shot is fired. Shin again tells them to fire. Again Ezra yells something and the troopers do not fire. Then Ahsoka barges in and saves the day. Fantastic action there, really funny that the troopers are that incompetent. This cliché works only if the person who is threatened has anything to offer the villain, but that's not the case. Those troopers should have blasted them into a pile of plasma and Ahsoka should have arrived too late and maybe then we could have seen some emotion on that stoic face of her.
To close it all of, we see Thrawn pretending it is all okay and according to his plans. Which are loading in some cargo into his ship, because apparently he did not have time to do that the past decades.
Ahsoka: Part Five: Shadow Warrior (2023)
What is Ahsoka's story here?
Firstly, I understand the nostalgia. I've watched the movies, all the animated series and liked all of them (except the sequels). But to see something you recognize does not mean that all of the defects of this series don't exist. And there is a lot of this series that is just plain bad.
So what is Ahsoka's story here? She shows up with a map, loses said map and fails in bringing it back. And this all happens without establishing any struggles she has with herself or other characters. Apparently she taught Sabine at one point, but failed at that. Is that it? She failed Sabine and herself and needs to learn how to be a teacher? No, because the dialog and actions of Ahsoka give absolutely nothing to verify this. In another series called The Mandalorian she even gives advice to Luke on how to be a teacher.
Okay, is she still struggling with her master, Anakin, and the horrors of the Clone Wars? No, because she already dealt with most of it in the animated series and she acts this whole series as a wannabe wise jedi. They do imply in this episode that she has lingering struggles with Anakin, but his force ghost and she don't communicate. He fights her, takes her to a few battles of the past and says that she needs to choose to live or die. Nothing in this whole act does she comes to terms with any struggle or problem she maybe has or has to overcome? At least Obi Wan and Luke had a conversation about the revelations of Lukes real father.
So you see? There is nothing of substance. It all falls flat. Why does Ahsoka even get to choose if she lives or die after she's been pushed of a cliff into the ocean? Because Force I guess. Why can she do all the abilities that are rare even among jedi. She can recollect memories from objects, she can communicate with Purgills, she can even cheat death multiple times. I think Palpatine choose the wrong apprentice.
And to top the episode off she flies away in the mouth of a Purgill to where Thrawn is. All by herself. No one who can help her if she needs back up. Whatever, she can choose to live.
Ahsoka: Part Four: Fallen Jedi (2023)
Bad plot, bad decisions and dull characters
If Ahsoka's ultimate goal is to stop Thrawn from returning and she preaches Sabine that the greater good goes before personal gain then why didn't she destroy the McGuffin map the moment she found it? It would have prevented a lot of the trouble they're in now.
The series so far has been an accumulation of bad decisions and Ahsoka standing with her arms crossed pretending she is a big shot jedi master. Where is the Ahsoka that's kind, caring and energetic?
Same goes for Sabine. At this point in time she should be 35 years old but she acts like a child who has just reached puberty. She can't stand on her own two feet while we've seen in Rebels that she could.
And now in the end we get Anakin as some kind of Force ghost, but probably is some kind of evil apparition... But at least they got to introduce another big character for nostalgic reasons.
This series could've been fun and engaging, but it has been flattened by the Disney hammer of dullness. The last chance they get for me is with Acolyte, because the only nostalgic character they can bring back there is Yoda and it should force them to make something original and engaging.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Macguffin after Macguffin, unbelievable plot and 'twists' and lightspeed pacing
The ninth and last episode in the 'Skywalker' saga is the epitome of bad vision, planning and storytelling. The movie tries to nullify almost every decision that was made in The Last Jedi resulting in a plot that makes no sense at all.
So The Emperor survived the events of Episode six where he fell down a shaft, exploded in that shaft and after that the whole Death Star exploded. Somehow he managed to not be obliterated into atoms. Very believable.
Snoke is just a random clone joke Palpatine created to not do the bidding of Palpatine. Palpatine wanted Rey to kill for himself so he could somehow transfer his spirit to hers and have an awesome body to rule the galaxy while Snoke tried to convert Rey to the dark side or have her killed. Makes sense.. Not.
Rey is the granddaughter of Palpatine and somehow we should blindly believe that Palpatine would have a kid he wouldn't enslave and use for his own plans. That kid of his managed to elude Palpatine, have a kid as well and hide it away from Palpatine. Since when is Palpatine incompetent and doesn't plan ahead?
Rey, Finn and Poe team up to find the Wayfinder which leads you to Exegol where Palpatine has been sitting for thirty years. To find this Wayfinder they have to find a sith dagger which coincidentally can be found on the ship that Reys parents used to leave her on Jakku. This dagger's blade is somehow formed exactly in the shape of the ruins of the second Death Star which crashed in the sea of a very inhospitable planet... So these ruins don't change in form or corrode or you know go with the ages? No, because the Force does stuff apparently..
These are only a couple of the enormous ammount of illogical and Macguffin based plot point of the film. The whole movie hangs on a thread of illogical and unbelievable plot points and character arcs and tries to race through them with lightspeed. The action scene are messy and are just a big bag of explosions and lasers flying by which doesn't immerse you in the action because you have no idea of what's going on.
This sequel trilogy won't be added to my yearly rewatch of the Star Wars saga. Hopefully the people at Lucasarts and Disney learn from this fiasco and bring better content in the future.