Madcookie17 Reviews

Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)

An achievement of sorts...

[3/10 · 24 April 2024]

I suppose it is an achievement of sorts when Rebel Moon 2 somehow manages to be worse that the first part.

The movie starts off with what can only be described as clichéd filler scenes of preparation and training for what is close to a half an hour, along with what I consider a genuine attempt to somehow convince you that the nonsensical premise of the whole thing actually has some logic to it. You begin to think maybe there is hope. And then right at the 40th minute mark (i.e. Almost the middle of the SECOND movie) a character stands up and asks that he wants to know the people he's about to fight side by side with. This in turn prompts a montage that is narrated by each character reading his or hers wiki page. That is of course in case the poor viewer has already forgotten the first movie and the fact that the same characters have already fought side by side with one another and have had the same introductions except the first time we didn't get a montage. I guess Zach Snyder knew that for part 2 WE ARE GONNA NEED A MONTAGE! Montage....

After this action begins to ensue with all the tropes you can think off - from dumb evil guys being dumb and evil to the power of friendship that beats everything.

Oh, and slo mo, because where would we be without it.

Madame Web (2024)

The future looks empty

[2/10 · 17 February 2024]

An empty shell - that's the best way to describe this attempt at a movie. The early reviews, news of constant re-writes and unenthusiastic cast interviews may have given a hint of what was about to come, but nothing could compare with reality.

ALL the actors are line reading. There isn't a single piece of dialogue that felt genuine, but that was apparently good enough for the director and producers of this mess. The plot is a paper thin Swiss-cheese slice that is so blatantly lazy written that it should be studied in universities as to what NOT to do.

Zero character development or baseline interest in them, uninteresting disposable villain and non-existent plot.

I give this hour and a half long Pepsi ad 2/10 only for Britney Spears' "Toxic" in the diner scene.

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Space Frankenstein...in Space!

[3/10 · 25 December 2023]

This is the best way to describe a movie which is one part - Seven Samurai/Magnificent Seven (the heroes and plot), one part Star Wars (villains in essence), one part Warhammer 40k (villains in style), one part Dungeons and Dragons (quest to gather heroes and the Dryder lady), one part every girlboss hero ever written (protagonist) and last but not least one part every Snyder movie ever made condensed into one (slo-mo, camera work, dark and gritty setting).

Of course when you put so many parts in your creation, it is easy to forget a few - for example character development, good dialogue or an original plot.

Eclecticism is a thing but if you are not careful you just get a mess like this.

Another thing that bothered me is that the protagonist's backstory is relayed through a few rather long flashbacks, which might seem like showing not telling, HOWEVER the character herself is narrating them/telling them to another person and they are written in such an unnatural, impersonal way that makes them sound like she's reading from a wiki page. Might not be as jarring as that Dune scene with the tablet, but it sure comes close.

It's such a shame because this movie could have been so much more...

War of Letters (2022– )

War on History

[1/10 · 6 March 2023]

Words fail to describe this disaster of a series.

• "historical" drama with absolutely no regard for actual history. Dialogue is from the 21st century, costumes are from your run-of-the-mill medieval fantasy maybe late Renaissance at best, while the series is supposed to be set in early 10th century CE. Historical figures and events are inaccurately portrayed, sometimes bordering on the offensive (Have intercourse in the throne room? Why not? Urinate on someone? That's so hardcore!)
• acting is beyond cringe. Everyone walks and talks like 21st century bro. Abundance of modern era expressions. Lines are simply recited (as is tradition in modern Bulgarian cinema)
• decors are virtually non-existent - everything looks the same and disturbingly small be it Preslav, Constantinople or the back alley of an inn.

However, the biggest insult is that this was wholly financed from the National Television and therefore from the National Budget.

Money well spent...

The Pale Blue Eye (2022)

Contrived beyond belief, but still somewhat enjoyable

[5/10 · 10 January 2023]

The movie starts very strong, with intriguing premise, beautiful and atmospheric winter setting and cast to carry a great movie. The use of period speech patterns makes the dialogue more immersive. The acting is great as expected with the only minor downside being Bale's thick beard, which hides a good portion of his facial expressions.

Sadly the good ends here. For the better part of the movie the plot is intriguing and feels like a genuine investigation with macabre and occult sub-themes, but once it reaches the climax, everything gets unraveled like a badly stitched Frankenstein monster. It is then when you realize that the plot is full of contrivances, happy little coincidences and things that frankly make no sense given the period it was set in (like the one related to the event that caused the culprit to do what he did). The "twist" revolves around the good-old crime stories plot device where for the entirety of the piece, a crucial information is being withhold from you and had you known it, you'd be able to solve the case yourself very very quickly.

I found it enjoyable still, but it could have been so much better.

House of the Dragon (2022– )

Boring, uninspired and overall lackluster

[2/10 · 27 December 2022]

Everything about this show is uninspired - the plot is singular and painfully obvious, the actors for the most part are simply reading the lines they are given. The decor and CGI reminds of a theater play, the costumes are too clean, too tidy. The dragon riding scenes are hilarious and the creature design is for the most part unrealistic (especially compared to GoT).

Additionally the show does the gravest mortal sin of cinema - time jumps and this is done with the use of actor changes, instead of make-up/dress-up ageing. It is quite jarring and is done for the sole purpose to fill the show with some form of content, given how the plot is literally watching paint dry. If this was GoT imagine instead of the first season, we were given the entirety of Robert Baratheon's reign where nothing happens and he just drinks and squanders the treasury. Come to think of it it would probably be more enjoyable that this...whatever this is.

Stalled (III) (2022)

Paradoxically Good

[10/10 · 9 December 2022]

A man, stuck in a time paradox.

A tale as old as time itself and yet "Stalled" manages to surpass expectations both with its plot, message and execution.

The guy playing the main character (I suspect Jacob Daniels as he's written first it the credits) gives great performance and so does the janitor (Larry Woods), whose appearance is memorable, albeit short. One can argue his role in the plot is greater than it seems, but you will have to figure that out for yourself once you watch the film. And be sure to check his name tag.

While made on a budget, the film also has quite nice special effects, which is a further plus.

Overall, solid 10, this is how you make a short film.

The Bridge (I) (2016)

Do you want to eat cotton candy with me?

[10/10 · 3 October 2022]

Good, well-acted ad thought-provoking movie with meaningful message. Apart from the main topic "The Bridge" brushes a lot of existential problems and questions that people often have and delivers its answers to them in a very subtle way, a way that can easily go unnoticed.

Well acted, especially by Jang Hee Jung (female lead) why delivers a solid performance of a woman, who seemingly made a choice, she's come to slowly regret.

Having the male lead (Yoon Dong-Hwan) narrate, instead of talk directly is an interesting choice, that overall suits the movie and is explained by the end, but can be seen as too otherworldly by some viewers.

Overall "The Bridge" is a testament that substance is more important than budget.

Dexter: New Blood (2021–2022)

In my mind Dexter is in Argentina with Hannah

[3/10 · 13 January 2022]

There were many small tells that this wasn't really the show of old, the well-crafted, thoroughly thought out show that we all loved, but nothing could prepare me for the slap-in-the-face-with-a-wet-towel ending that we got.

Poor writing at its finest, plot holes like Swiss cheese, uninteresting and most of all unrealistic side characters (Lundy, Debra, LaGuerta even Masuka and Batista have 0 IQ compared to basically everyone this season) and a lot of subverted expectations.

Like I said in my review of the original 8 seasons, at this point really IS probably best that you make your own ending and leave it at that.

So if anyone asks me this whole mess didn't happen and Dexter is in Argentina with Hannah and his son. Why there, you might ask? Well that's because everyone wants an Argentina.

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

Ready Player 2: The Matrixing

[3/10 · 23 December 2021]

The entire movie felt like a sequel of RP1 but in the Matrix franchise. It is chock full of "smart" winks at the viewer that is supposed to be "Oh, this is from that other movie", "Hey it's that guy, I remember that guy" or "OMG, they mentioned the Zucc".

Basically the entire first hour is scene for scene near identical repetition of scenes from the first Matrix, short clips from that same movie (which only serve to show you easy comparison which movie you should actually watch) and 4th wall breaking references to various IRL stuff.

Lace this mess with a lot of wooden acting and a love story that desperately wanted to be a Disney movie and voila.

Dexter: New Blood: Skin of Her Teeth (2021) Season 1, Episode 7

It's the little things that spoil it

[6/10 · 23 December 2021]

If you don't think too hard about it, it was a good episode, maybe the best this season, but the little things pile on and on and there comes a point where it's too much.

The entire 'it wasn't snow, it was ash' leading to 'you killed my son' line of thinking makes no sense. Let's see the timeline Matt goes missing day 1, people start looking for him at least 2 nights and on the forth day you see some ash and you immediately assume that whoever killed him casually sat on his body for 3 days and THEN decided to get rid of it. Not no mention the incinerator that apparently is for public use so anyone at any time could dump something inside therefore ash raining shouldn't be such an eyebrow-raising occurrence.

Then we have Dexter breaking into the guy's office without gloves, at broad daylight and fixing a crooked picture on the wall. At this point he should have just wrote 'I was here' along with his phone and address.

Then some guy asks Harrison for help move some stuff, gives him money and a letter(suggesting that he knew he was Dexter's son), then immediately grabs the moved stuff and carries it away with ease and our boy doesn't bat an eye...

Lastly we have Molly with her eidetic memory, who was engaged in a conversation with another, had no reason to be suspicions of Dexter whatsoever but still managed to remember that he put his phone close to her, where he sat at the diner, probably what he ordered too. That's not how memory works, because in order to remember something you need to at least focus on it. If you look back at ep6 she isn't even looking at him while Dexter charges his phone...

Dexter used to be such a well crafted show and I just hope this episode's little mistakes are a one-time thing and it manages to finish off strong.

The Last Duel (2021)

MeToo in plate armor

[3/10 · 8 December 2021]

That pretty much sums up the second part of the movie, which starts very promising but takes a complete 180 with not-so-subtle lingering THE TRUTH at the start of the victim's chapter and proceeds to go into full blown non-sense.

Everything after this point is so much in your face, so overly political, so self-contradicting even that you start to care less about who's guilty and just want all 3 characters to die just so that the movie can finally end.

The Alienist (2018–2020)

Society made me do it

[3/10 · 7 December 2021]

Show started intriguing. Ensemble was very promising especially because of Luke Evans and Daniel Bruhl. Acting, scenes, initial mystery - all very good, but the wokeness, the PC...it leaves such a bad taste in the mouth, mostly because of the jarring manner of its insertion in a dialogue. But since everything is woke these days you can somewhat brush it off as a sign of the times.

What was the last drop for me was a piece of dialogue in episode 4 how killers aren't bad folk, just misunderstood or shaped that way by this evil patriarchal society.

In this sense I'm only giving the show a bad review, because society made me do it.

No Time to Die (2021)

Time to sleep

[3/10 · 5 December 2021]

The first 10 minutes might fool you there is something more to this snooze fest but don't be fooled.

The story if it can be called that is boring, uninspiring and with more plot holes that swiss cheese.

Villain is uninteresting/underdeveloped and everything around him feels so dropped out of the blue, just because the writers decided so.

Foundation (2021– )

Shaky Foundation

[5/10 · 2 December 2021]

I'm giving Foundation 5 stars because it felt like two separate shows, that someone edited together by mistake.

Each scene on the Imperial side is carefully crafted, visually pleasing and acted to near perfection. Lee Pace and Laura Birn basically carried the show, especially in episode 7-8.

The Foundation side however is another story. Visually it felt like your run-of-the-mill "alien planet" outpost from every sci-fi show ever but this can be somewhat overlooked. The acting, however, is where things really become problematic, especially when it is coming from the 2 leads. Lou Llobell as Gaal Dornick narrates the beginning and the end of every episode with such monotone low-energy voice it couldn't power-up a TV remote. As for Leah Harvey as Salvor Hardin let's just say I finished the show yesterday and the only thing I remember is her frown.

Rest of the cast including some secondary characters did good and dare I say were even memorable (especially Kubbra Sait as Phara and Pravessh Rana as Rowan)

There are some problematic writing decisions with Hari Seldon's character but I don't want to go into too much detail/spoilers. I'll only say that if you could do what he did with himself, the emperor wouldn't need to do what he does.

Kairos (2020)

Strong from start to finish

[10/10 · 28 September 2021]

Definitely worth the watch for fans of thrillers.

Exceptionally well written and gripping from start to finish. Acting is superb, both main and support. Only con (for some at least) is that timeline jumping occurs fairly often per episode so you need to pay close attention.

Reminiscence (2021)

This is why everyone makes fun of Noir films

[4/10 · 25 August 2021]

This movie perfectly describes that moment when you want to create something original but hit every cliche checkbox.

Protagonist with troubled past, side kick with substance abuse, a cabaret singer femme fatale, a corrupt cop, mob boss, rotten and unjust system. On top of this sprinkle some obligatory chiaroscuro effects, some neon lights, bunch of bad monologue.

Budget seems especially low or rather went into CGI and actor pay as everyone you see in the film has a role to play, there are no crowds, no people in the bars, no cars on the streets, the world inside the movie just feels empty and fake like the backdrop of a (high school) theater play rather than a Hollywood movie. This is especially harmful toward the movie's main gimmick - the Reminiscence technology. The main character tells you that since the present (and future) are bleak, nostalgia has become a way of life but you don't see that in the movie. Even when he himself uses it it is to forward the main plot, rather than explore his emotions or dwell on a glorious past.

Above all the movie seems to lack soul and genuine inspiration. 4 stars only for Daniel Wu's performance and Ramin Djawadi's soundtrack.

Dexter (2006–2013)

"Dexter" from a rewatch perspective

[9/10 · 16 June 2021]

8 years have passed since the show ended, but with recent news of renewal I decided to give it another go despite the sour taste that the last seasons had left. Who knows maybe the show aged well like old wine.

The story arc in season 1-5 along with season 7 was quite compelling and interesting - Dexter trying to connect with another human being - his murderous brother in S1, a lover in S2, a friend to share his darkness in S3, a fellow serial killer/father in S4, possible soulmate (Lumen) in S5 and actual soulmate (Hannah) in S7.

The pacing took a noticeable downturn from season 3 onward, with focus moving from the thrill of the hunt and suspense to drama and character development. Personally I was quite fond of the thriller/mystery aspect of the earlier seasons.

As for season 6 and 8 - what can I say - the story arc made little to no sense (Deb being in love with Dexter just as a pretense to discover his dark side, which could have easily being done at the end of season 5), the villains were not very compelling either. The addition of Dr. Vogel was surprisingly bad and it felt at times like a wiki excerpt, explaining things about psychopaths and how the code was invented, both downplaying Harry's role and patronizing the fans. Most decisions didn't make sense and felt like the characters were doing them just so that the story could move in the desired direction.

The ending felt even worse from what I remember and was utterly unsatisfying mostly because it took the story arc of Dexter slowly becoming more human, finding love, being a good father and threw it out the window, making him abandon both Hannah and his son and becoming a lonely lumberjack.

Overall Dexter is a good show and if you were to watch it I'd say watch 1-5 then season 7 and imagine an ending for yourself. My only hope is somehow season 9 fixes things if at all possible and not being a simple cash grab.

Night in Paradise (2020)

A must see neo-noir

[8/10 · 14 May 2021]

Night in Paradise is unmistakably a very good film, with very few flaws most notably 1) the pacing is a bit slow at times and might be a problem for some viewers and 2) there are some quirky dialogues especially between the antagonists that, at least for me, felt jarringly out of place and very much at odds with the overall tone of the film.

After My Death (2017)

Show, don't tell

[3/10 · 16 February 2021]

I tend to like slow paced movies, especially if they have a point to make and evoke a feeling in you that haunts your thought for days after viewing. Sadly "After my death" is no such film.

Everything in the movie from start to finish is told to the viewer rather than shown. Kyeong-Min killed herself. Why? Do we see her unhappy, neglected by her mom, bullied by her peers? No, not really but we are told that this is a fact, so it makes it true.

Young-Hee is portrayed as taking the death of "her friend" rather bad, but we are never shown that they were actually friends. A point is made about a blossoming lesbian romance between the two but that is unexplored, has no particular relevance to the plot and like most things in this movie it is just out there because why not.

Portrayals of everyone and everything in the movie (except maybe the school director and the police) is fundamentally unrealistic. Young-hee keeps telling everyone how she had planned to kill herself for so long and is very determined to do this but when she does she tries to do it basically in front of everyone and is immediately saved. There is an attempt to make a point about a very dangerous message that "People care about you after you die" so her classmates start liking her and protecting her after her attempt, but one - that is not actually true as they start to do this after Kyeong-Min's suicide note is found which exonerates her, not because Young-hee's attempt and two - if people didn't care before you died, no one will care after you died.

The portrayal of the class bully is also unrealistic and problematic in and of itself. She isn't shown picking on anyone that "didn't deserve it", therefore it's difficult to write off her behavior as "she's just looking for a reason to pick on someone". Instead she's shown almost as a "good guy", taking action against those she deems responsible for a "fellow" student's attempted/death(Young-Hee->Young-Hee's friend->Kyeong-Min's teacher). It may be a shocker to some but in real life bullies are the complete opposite.

The movie ends with another "tell, don't show" moment where Young-Hee tells her classmates she only came back to school so she would publicly kill herself, but instead she's just shown going in a dark alleyway and the movie cuts to black.

Final conclusion: It may sound harsh but this movie is a 2 hour long example of how you should NOT make a movie.

Once There Was a War (2019)

Absolutely Nothing At All

[1/10 · 19 January 2021]

A "historical" movie depicting an event, where a newly reborn nation (only seven years on the map of Europe) invades a Great Power, gets attacked in the back by a neighbor, incited by another Great power and still manages to win the war and unify its people, is used merely as a backdrop. A backdrop for frivolous inserting of fictional literary characters such as Bay Ganyo and Andreshko on top of numerous jabs and insulting remarks about the Bulgarians in general by variety of characters in the movie. Staggering historical inaccuracies and self-abasement aside, the movie doesn't impress visually, artistically or plot-wise (a small example - a major part of the movie is dedicated to the secret mission by 2 of the main characters, a mission that doesn't lead to anything, doesn't resolve anything and is just there to fill the time and deceive the viewer that something important is about to happen).

In the end what can this movie offer you as a viewer? Absolutely nothing at all.

Messiah (2020)

So much filler...

[2/10 · 22 January 2020]

Its amazing how much filler they managed to fit into this series. The pacing is incredibly slow up to episode 7 and but the improvement after that point still isn't sufficient.

I also find it funny that for a series based around world religions you are actually required to have no deep (even semi basic really) knowledge about them in order to believe the events that transpire.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

One of the best Star Wars movies ever made

[9/10 · 30 December 2019]

Rogue One only comes very close to being the top SW movie and maybe if I was a bit younger I'd voted it so, but it has some minor moments that hold it back (ep IV and V being top for me).

The movie starts a bit slow, but very quickly picks up the pace, builds its characters very well, so well in fact that every single team member death brings a tear in the eyes of those of us who cry at movies. Action is on point, pacing and storyline as well. What impresses most is the realism, if such a thing is possible in fantasy (SW is in my opinion fantasy in space rather than sci-fi), that encapsulates the entire movie. People, who matter die, just like unnamed innocents, a suicide mission is not just a word to build tension, but actually proves to be just so, and that is rare thing in today's cinema - to achieve a finale where everyone dies, tragic yet knowing that the mission is a success, transitionning smoothly into "A new hope IV".

The Witcher (2019– )

The Good, The Bad and the Mediocre

[4/10 · 29 December 2019]

The Good 1 - Acting - generally on a very high level. Henry Cavill does ok, even tho at times it feels as if he's trying to do a voice. Anya Charlotta is great especially in episodes 2 and 3. Freya Allan is good too. Special shout out to Sándor Köleséri, who played the dwarf slave in episode 2 - completely unknown actor, but in the shoes scene, his performance, the look on his eyes - moments like this is why I watch cinema. Another one that deserves a mention is Emma Appleton as Renfri, she pretty much saved the horrible pilot, but I'll get to that later. (even the so-called "woke" cast did very good - Anna Shafer(Triss), with what little she's given and I very much liked Mimi Ndiweni(Fringilla)'s transformation from a timid student to ambitious and ruthless mage throughout the season).

The Bad

1 - Pacing - absolutely horrendous. You can moan all day about "but you piece it together by episode 4-5"and while that is true you have to keep a few things in mind. The Wither started off as short stories, published in a magazine and is thus semi-contained within each story, with no major overarching storyline up until book 2 or 3. In my humble opinion if they made an entire season only about Geralt e.g stick to book 1, it would make for a more engaging and cohesive storytelling. Instead we got confusing time jumps, the main character is pushed aside to make room for 2 more origin stories (Yen and Ciri) and some GoT-like-half-baked attempt at showing the politics that move the world (ep 8).

2 - The pilot - now I know Netflix releases the whole season at the same time, but this is no excuse to make such a bad pilot episode. Aside from good acting and good fight choreography, there is nothing to like here - editing is too abrupt, reminiscent of something made by a 1-st year student in the arts academy, music seems too low key at times, while being turned up a bit too much at others. The holding hands part between Calante and Ciri - ok, I like long drawn-out scenes, weighing heavy with emotion, but doing it twice in the same episode? Plain overkill. Also Renfri's ultimatum about killing the townsfolk was just a pass-by line, which dilutes a lot of why Geralt has to go against his principle and chooses the lesser evil. Don't tell me they couldn't fit it in her first visit in the woods, its just 1 line...

3 - CGI - Xena: Warrior Princess had better special effects and that says a lot.

4 - Story - I touched on this but the entire season felt, disjointed, with each short story from the book - a separate entity. Not enough time spent with Geralt, and at this point other characters seem much more interesting, engaging and important. On top of this some of the stories deserved an entire episode, maybe even 2 to get a grip and immersion in the world of the witcher (Filavandrel part, dragon hunt and possibly even the last wish). Instead they got crammed into 1 episode, intertwined with another plot in-between the abrupt edit cuts, which resulted, as expected, into a product that feels rushed and unloved by those who made it.

The Mediocre

1 - Costumes - Northern armor was good looking, but Nilfgraard ...oh, the horror! Some of Geralts costumes are ok, some look like cosplay (his full armor so to speak looks way too new, despite being stitched at a few spots). Geralt's wig is a whole other matter, but I don't want to be overly negative in this review, so I shall speak no more of it.

2 - The music - While they gave us the gem of "Toss a coin to your witcher", the rest of the music wasn't as memorable as I'd have liked.

Final thoughts - I hope they do better than season one with the next one, now that the timelines are connected and most of the main characters can be together in the same scenes. I also hope they finally realise what this franchise is about - character building and adventures - not LotR level battles or GoT level machinations.