Spencer Dickson Reviews

Jack Black: Spider-Man (2002 TV Short)

Hilarious short!

[27 April 2003]

Little vignettes such as this are what make awards shows tolerable to watch. Jack Black is fantastic. Being the exact antithesis of Spider-man, it is hilarious to watch him parody the web-spinning super-hero.

This and the "Lord of the rings" spoof were the show highlights of The 2002 MTV Movie Awards.

Considering the general decline in the quality of our motion pictures, it would be wonderful if the theaters would stave our hunger for entertainment by playing shorts like this intermittently through the barrage of advertisements preceding the actual movies. Great work! Keep it coming Jack Black!

Carnosaur (1993)

Original title: Carnoturkey

[1/10 · 8 October 2001]

This is by far one of the worst movies I have ever seen and it has left a lasting impression on my mind, because it is so bad!

I don't understand how or why any sane person could write or direct such a terrible film. "Carnosaur" is a lame excuse for a horror movie. I didn't get scared once, instead I only wondered why the hell I rented it. There wasn't one character which I liked or cared about, there was hardly any character development, the dialogue is cheesy (as can be expected with this genre), the acting is laughable and melodramatic, the music is boring, the direction is bad, the makeup is fake and the dinosaurs...they look okay on the cover, but in the movie they move robotically and you'd have to be blind to not notice the cheap animatronics involved.

The biggest reason I disliked this film so much though, was because it was so dark. I'm not saying I'm a chicken when it comes to dark movies, I love them, but what I mean is most of it takes place in the dark, giving it a depressing feel and making it's low budget visible. Maybe the film makers thought that this made it more scary, but it doesn't.

Elements of the plot would have made great "X-Files" or "Outer Limits" episodes. Unfortunately the film makers decided to make this big steaming pile of doo-doo.

Whatever you do, don't subject yourself to this torture, if you are a movie lover you'll have unpleasant memories of this thing for the rest of your life. Go rent "Jurassic Park" if you want to see a great movie with lots of dinosaurs.

P.S. If you want to see one of the best movies ever made, rent "The Usual Suspects", now that's a great film!

Carnosaur (1993)

Original title: Carnoturkey

[1/10 · 8 October 2001]

This is by far one of the worst movies I have ever seen and it has left a lasting impression on my mind, because it is so bad!

I don't understand how or why any sane person could write or direct such a terrible film. "Carnosaur" is a lame excuse for a horror movie. I didn't get scared once, instead I only wondered why the hell I rented it. There wasn't one character which I liked or cared about, there was hardly any character development, the dialogue is cheesy (as can be expected with this genre), the acting is laughable and melodramatic, the music is boring, the direction is bad, the makeup is fake and the dinosaurs...they look okay on the cover, but in the movie they move robotically and you'd have to be blind to not notice the cheap animatronics involved.

The biggest reason I disliked this film so much though, was because it was so dark. I'm not saying I'm a chicken when it comes to dark movies, I love them, but what I mean is most of it takes place in the dark, giving it a depressing feel and making it's low budget visible. Maybe the film makers thought that this made it more scary, but it doesn't.

Elements of the plot would have made great "X-Files" or "Outer Limits" episodes. Unfortunately the film makers decided to make this big steaming pile of doo-doo.

Whatever you do, don't subject yourself to this torture, if you are a movie lover you'll have unpleasant memories of this thing for the rest of your life. Go rent "Jurassic Park" if you want to see a great movie with lots of dinosaurs. 2/8

P.S. If you want to see one of the best movies ever made, rent "The Usual Suspects", now that's a great film!

Driven (2001)

I like Stallone and Harlin but...

[6 October 2001]

This movie is more proof that director Renny Harlin (Die hard 2, Cliffhanger) hasn't been able to get back on his feet ever since he directed "Cutthroat Island", THE BIGGEST FLOP IN CINEMATIC HISTORY! Costing a mere 115 million to make, and grossed a whopping 11 million!

When I saw the trailers for "Driven", I thought it would be your average no brainer summer flick, with intense big budget action sequences that had you at the edge of your seat! Boy was I wrong...

The racing scenes aren't intense at all. Part of the reason for this is the fact that the CGI (which I thought would be great) was like watching a Play Station 2 video game! The music is relentless and not thrilling whatsoever. The script, by Sylvester Stallone, has little character development through dialogue, but contains some conflict and originality, I'll give Stallone that. Stallone's acting wasn't bad and neither were some of the other performances, but Burt Reynolds, he's about as dull as they come. Who let that guy act?

Harlin changes angles every two seconds and each shot is too frantic. It gets to be annoying. But what really did it for me was the pathetically cheesy CGI.

I like Stallone and Harlin, but...there really isn't much here, and man am I glad I only spent $2.00 on renting it instead of seeing it in the theaters.

It wasn't necessarily the script that made this a bad film, but the production team. On a more positive note, I don't like car racing, I never have, so maybe people who do will like this movie. If you aren't one of those people however, skip this and go rent "THE USUAL SUSPECTS", now there's a great film!

Wild Things (1998)

Very good, twist a minute mystery...

[28 September 2001]

When I watched "Wild things" for the first time, I expected a plotless, formulaic, badly acted, sex based entertaining movie. Instead what I got was a very original film that kept you wondering until the last shot. The script is very well written and keeps up it's pace, the acting (aside from Denise Richards' performance) was good and I liked the premise as well.

This is a great party renter, because it has enough of everything to keep people interested. All in all a very good movie, 8/10!

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Brilliantly directed, Spielberg is a genius!

[8/10 · 25 June 2001]

"Saving private Ryan" is the best depiction of war, ever. Steven Spielberg has shown us once again that he is one of the best directors of all time.

The writing is ok and the whole film could have been 30 minutes, but the direction is where this film is so amazing. The cinematography is wonderfull (maybe intense is the best word), and Spielberg's shots are beyond deserving of best Director.

The film is extreamly graphic, bloody and violent, but this is why it is the best depiction of war. The camera doesn't pan away when someone gets shot, instead you see full on the horrors of war.

If you faint at the sight of blood then don't watch this movie, you'll probably have a heart atack. If you don't faint at the sight of blood watch this movie, it's amazing!