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Reviews
4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)
Surprisingly good...does exactly what a comic is supposed to do.
I stood in my living room and clapped when FFII ended. Not because it's Godfather II, but because --- as when I'm reading a good comic book --- I was on the edge of my seat. The movie was well-written and interesting (even if the dialog sometimes sputtered). The story line was good and the characters had some depth. It reaches toward complexity: It's a story of love, free will, science (and science fiction), good and evil, and even a doomsday scenario. Good work. It's clear to me that the writers and directors understand what comic books are all about: tightly written spectacles that keep you on the edge of your seat while tackling serious philosophical questions.
Ghost Rider (2007)
Mark Steven Johnson: Please Stop Making Movies
Until now, I thought Daredevil was the worst movie I had ever seen. Then I watched Ghost Rider. The connection: Mark Steven Johnson wrote both screenplays. I'm angry because this guy keeps taking these comic books and ruining them on the big screen (compare Sam Raimi and Mark Steven Johnson and you'll understand my point).
I'm a professional writer with a life-long passion for comic books, and I can tell you that, when done properly, comic books are written tightly. They should keep you on the edge of your seat. Unfortunately, Ghost Rider is incredibly slow. It actually made me angry to see any semblance of good, tight writing ignored and replaced with stunts and special effects.
Ugh. Don't waste your time with this one. I hope Marvel and DC don't give this guy access to any other titles in the catalog.
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Terrible Movie
The depiction of Ichabod Crane's character was so terrifically unlikable, my wife and I were hoping that the horseman (or some other character) would not only cut off Crane's head, but do it slowly and painfully.
I mean, this Brent Carver guy played it over the top---like he was on Broadway. And he was such a relentless jackass that we had no sympathy for him whatsoever.
I could go on with specific critiques of how this movie failed, but I prefer to not devote the energy.
Just skip it and go for the Johnny Depp version. Either that, or rent the Haunted Pumpkin of Sleepy Hollow (animated). It is quite good--entertaining for kids and adults.
Better yet, read Washington Irving's original story.
Hansel & Gretel (2002)
A fun family film
This is a fun flick.
The actors do a good job. Delta Burke is excellent and Lynn Redgrave has many funny lines. The child actors did a good job as well. And while I usually don't care much about Howie Mandell, I think he struck the right note as the Sandman.
Yes, the sets are simple, but this is a fairy tale. Fairy tales are skin and bones--nighttime stories--they are not meant to be miracles of on-location production.
Maybe I'm old school, but I'll take a good story with good actors on a simple stage over fancy special effects any time. My wife and I watched Hansel and Gretel after we watched Cloverfield (with all of its special effects, including intentional shaky camera), and we thought H&G was way better.
Plus, there is no swearing, no boob or penis jokes, and no gratuitous violence. Not that I'm a prude, but I think they did a good job of preserving the message of the movie: magic resides in our dreams.
A fun film for the entire family.
Hocus Pocus (1993)
Terrible Film
Highly offensive film that exploits witch stereotypes in the worst possible ways.
I wonder if Sarah Jessica Parker is proud of making this film. She should be ashamed.
And what's up with boob-love comments by an eight-year-old and other forms of sexual innuendo?
No child should ever watch this film, despite some of the comments posted on IMDb, because it blends quite frightening themes of child abduction, cannibalism, Satanism, and necromancy into a story basically about teenage kids.
Bette Midler has lost all of my respect and so has Kathy Najimy. Their willingness to whore themselves for such stereotypical garbage is embarrassing. And Hollywood's enduring connection between witchcraft and Satanism is both poorly informed and highly destructive.
This film is, in short, a careless exploitation of witchcraft for petty profit. Leave it on the shelf.
The Brothers Grimm (2005)
Watching the DVD, with pauses to figure out plot, is your best option
I watched the Brothers Grimm movie by Terry Gilliam last night. I'd give it a B-minus. It was great stylistically, but the plot was definitely muddy.
He's directed some of my favorite movies, so I was a bit disappointed when my friend and I had to stop--to piece together the plot--three or four times during the movie.
In other words, I'm glad I didn't pay $8 to see it in the theater, because swallowing all of it whole (like the insane horse from the movie), would have definitely been painful.
Watching it on video, however, is a bit more manageable. I actually want to watch it again now that I can move from a "plot level" to an "aesthetic level" interpretation.
Recommendation: Gilliam fans should watch it; it's worth renting the DVD. Others will enjoy the fun and creative aspects of the movie. If you want a tight plot, however, stay away.