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Reviews
Crawlspace (2016)
Really Terrible Movie
The movie revolves around the father, John, his new wife Mel, and his rebellious teenage daughter Hannah after they move to a new house when John gets a new job at the airport after being out of work for a while. Hannah is already in trouble for throwing a party and trashing their old house. At first, things are just minor, just as pictures falling down and stuff being moved, food being eaten, etc. They have a very creepy and perverted p3do neighbor, Ray, who is revealed later to be a squatter before he breaks into the house to spy on Hannah getting dressed before getting murdered. Funny enough his body never gets found (and despite him being dead a few days, his body doesn't decay and smell, because it's got to be in the house somewhere, considering the killer is an agoraphobe). Then Hannah's boyfriend goes missing after he sneaks over. Hannah starts cleaning out the garage and finds a bunch of stuff about the old Howe family that lived there before them. After a bunch of seemingly "poltergiest" related events, you see the killer just moving around the house through the walls and vents. And when Hannah FINALLY finds paperwork proving that the killer (David) was mentally ill, an agoraphobe and very violent, she realizes the Howe family was going to commit him but he refused to be moved and instead killed them all (again, what happened to the bodies?). Unbeknownst to them, David heard this conversation and decides to stop them. John gets attacked by David, and Hannah summons the police via the panic button on their security system, so when the police arrive, they storm the attack, and shoot the man coming towards them, who is then taken into an ambulance. The family starts packing to leave the house, andHannah tries to call her boyfriend Tommy, finds his phone on her closet floor, realizes he never left, and then promptly gets abducted through the attic entrance in her closet. Mel and John panic when they cant find her, and Hannah wakes up tied to a metal pipe on the inside of the walls. Shocker, David is still alive and well, and when Hannah gets free, she is pursued through the walls as she struggles to get out. Mel tries to smash the wall to get her out but does not succeed. As Hannah fights to get to the attic, she witnesses David stab Mel to death. Then as John rescued Hannah and tells her to go out the front, she falls down the ladder and breaks her arm, and John gets lynched by David. Hannah is both too dumb and too slow to escape the house, and David ends up killing her too, seconds before she could make it out. The annoying thing is the movie ends with this little "fun fact" about how many people find people living in their houses, when they showed distinctly that Hannah caused a fire in the walls as she was climbing up and severed an electrical line. So I was expecting the entire house to go up in flames, and have it tie back to "And the XX family disappeared too, the bodies never found" bc the entire thing was the Howe family before them had disappeared too. But no, no fire, no nothing. Really effing lame, honestly.
A Fairly Odd Summer (2014)
DO NOT WATCH
Horrid acting. Absolutely terrible. They chose terrible actors as well. Are the actors even ACTUALLY speaking or are they lip syncing? I'm leaning towards lipsyncing. Also, this movie is not funny at all and there's so many plot holes. For instance, the fairies are not supposed to be seen by humans, but they're just casually flying alongside Timmy instead of turning into dogs or something like in the show. The plot is awful and so is the script. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE
Green Eggs and Ham (2019)
Actually Amazing
I was at first very sketchy of how good this was gonna be, but I actually love it. It's so funny, and the plot is great. The characters are all so entertaining, like Michellee and E.B. Also there is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT which I find extremely important for a good show. Like. I'm 22 and love this show, so most kids would too.
Terrifier (2016)
Torture
I love scary movies. Love them. I watch Saw for fun. But this movie is DISGUSTING. As someone else put it, it is pure torture . No plot, no story, no good characters, no good acting. I am almost impossible to frighten, but this movie was so nasty and disturbing I threw up while watching it. I absolutely refuse to ever watch this again. This movie should never have been created. Whoever did this has a sick psychotic mind and needs help.
The Reef (2010)
Absolutely Atrocious
I adore horror movies and have a very open mind when it comes to movies but OMFG this movie was terrible! The female actors were DREADFUL, and their characters were written to just scream, thrash and be morons. The only semi intelligent person was Luke, who probably would have made it. His first mistake was having the idiots who cant SWIM go with him to an island 12 MILES AWAY. His second was not being more firm with them- he refuses to state the harsh truth that Matt died because he was a stubborn jackass who wanted to do his own thing, and didnt tell the girls to quit their damn thrashing and screaming! His third mistake was trusting Kate to pull him up onto the rock 🙄 She couldn't even get HERSELF up and he expects her to pull him up? Then afterwards all she does is scream and cry again like she even TRIED to help any of them. You learn NOTHING about any of the characters. Absolutely nothing. The only drama going on in this film is the shark. That's it. Incredibly boring. By far one of the worst movies I've seen. But hey, at least the shark had 10/10 acting.