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Reviews
House (2008)
Film that unfortunately replicates the book's biggest flaw.
If you're reading this comment you've probably already know what this film is about so I'll skip all that and talk about my biggest problem with the movie.
There was not one single second that I actually cared about these characters. The book has the exact same problem. There's the squabbling couple, the slutty girl, and the angry guy. We're told in the movie that they're "guilty as sin" but you're never really sure what of. The couple lost a daughter and are fighting. Slutty girl was abused as a child... it's not clear why she's "guilty" only that she's now promiscuous. Let's not forget angry guy. He was abused by his father and he yells a lot.
I'm pretty sure the intent of the book and the movie was to demonstrate that these four people, hurt though they may be, have turned around and caused their own destruction on others.
Of course, we never really get to see anybody before they get to the house. So we don't really know why we should care or more to the point, what they're even guilty of to deserve the treatment they get. Would've been nice if the film actually let us get to know these people, just a little and actually show how they have hurt others. That way, when the demon rednecks pronounce their guilt we know why, and any revelations the characters come by about themselves would actually resonate with the audience.
Really though, what can I expect when this is the problem with the book too. We get a little bit more detail in the book (as well as a bold evangelistic message) but the characters really only serve to occupy the freaky house gimmick. It's like they just put the four character names in a hat and picked out two to survive. That's great for your average horror movie, but not for something that claims to be something more substantial.
Second Glance (1992)
Murial and Spock... separated at birth?
A few of my fellow writers have covered this movie's plot elements so I will stick to some of the cuff remarks...
1. This is entertaining - but not for the reasons you'd think. It's cheesy but somehow still watchable.
2. Tamra, Daniel's love interest has to be about thirty. The Christian girl that Dan ignores is way cuter.
3. Muriel stole his shirt from Mr. Spock. Also, if my guardian angel looks like Muriel I'm going to have to apply for a transfer.
4. Okay... so apparently... Dan is responsible for his parents' divorce! What kind of horrible guilt trip is that?! Muriel says that it was Dan's prayers that kept his parents together. I just thought that was absolutely ridiculous. Listen, I can pray for my parents as much as I want but the only way they'll stay together is if they decide they're going to do it.
5. I'll echo the atheist's comments on how this movie portrays non-Christians. Apparently they're all slovenly bullies.
6. For something positive - David White is a decent actor. He gives the movie a little bit of credibility, even if he is the only one. He pretty much holds this film together on his own.
Late One Night (2001)
One of the better Christiano films...
"Late One Night" is the story of ne'er-do-well and all around jerk Larry. He has problems at work and in his personal life - most of which stem from his tumultuous childhood. Larry and his friends go to their regular diner and have a confrontation with a soft-spoken young man whom Larry jokingly calls "Jesus." I must say, this is one of the better Christiano films. My wife and I were actually impressed with the quality of this one and it's good to see that as a film maker Dave Christiano is slowly but surely improving. Problems remain however, most notably the repetitive dialog. Larry's buddies tend to repeat almost everything Larry says and even Larry repeats himself several times in the movie. Let's not forget the street preacher near the beginning of the film. This character is the true embodiment of repetitiveness - echoing the same phrases over and over. Also, I noticed that in an effort to make the lines sound genuine Larry and his buddies say "man" before or after almost every line. For example: "Why are all those Christians at the factory fakes, man." It doesn't come off as genuine -it comes off as actors trying desperately to sound genuine and failing miserably.
Despite the problems with the dialog the acting has also improved. It's nowhere near Oscar caliber but it's not terrible either. It services the story and all the actors are competent. I liked the owner of the diner - probably my favorite character in the movie! If there is one thing for which I can applaud this movie it is the presentation of the Gospel. The message of salvation is clear and no one who watches this movie can go before God and tell Him that they didn't know the Good News.
While "Late One Night" is an encouraging improvement to the Christiano film library, Dave & Co. still have a lot of work to do before anyone besides church people will take their films seriously. I can't really see pulling someone off the street, especially intellectuals and sitting them in front of this movie. I'm pretty sure Dave Christiano is well on the road to really impressing me with a solid Christian movie - he's just not quite there yet.
Pamela's Prayer (1998)
This has Mystery Science Theater 3000 written all over it.
I don't think anyone who sits down to watch "Pamela's Prayer" is really expecting an Oscar-caliber experience, but even with lowered expectations this movie would would be best as fodder for Mystery Science Theater 3000 - that is, really good for a group to sit down and make fun of.
Pamela is a young girl who feels as if everyone is dating but her, problem is... she's right. Her father believes that she should not date or kiss anyone until her wedding day. How that helps a teenager develop socially I'm not sure, but the father's opinion is placed on par with the Will Of God. One of my biggest problems with this movie, aside from the acting (which I'll get to in a minute), is that some of the father's actions just don't make any sense. He won't let Pamela go on a group date while she's in high school, but as soon as she graduates he'll let her go on a single "date" unattended to an isolated area. Wha...? That just doesn't make any sense to me. While I can applaud the relationship between the father and Pamela, it just seems so far moved from reality as to be laughable. For example Pamela's father is asking her about how she would feel if she had to tell her husband that she'd kissed another man, or how she would feel if he told her he'd kissed another girl. My first response was, "I'd say, 'Oh... okay.'" The act of kissing is portrayed as being so intimate... almost rivaling actual sex.
Speaking of laughable, the "acting" in this movie is abysmal. All of the father's lines are delivered in the actor's best "stained glass pastor" voice. It never really changes even when he's disciplining his daughter. The rest of the cast doesn't fare that much better. Everyone sort of goes about the scenes and the dialog as though it were a skit for church. Though honestly I'm not sure how much life the cast can inject into a script with such lines as, "Do you know what a Christian Film Library is?" Seriously, I can't believe that line got past the rough draft stage let alone into the movie itself.
If I must give the movie credit I can say that all of the scenes were edited as to form a comprehensible story. There weren't any glaring continuity errors such as sudden day/night changes. The music, while clearly from a Casio, services each scene and makes sense.
I will not argue the merits of waiting to kiss versus not waiting though if you are a parent who wants to instill the "not kissing" virtue, you're better off doing it yourself instead of showing this film. In fact, I would dare say showing this film might push them in the opposite direction. Ultimately the movie just doesn't work because it takes itself too seriously causing the audience to not take it serious at all. Instead of a heartfelt plea for purity, the movie comes off as unrealistically hilarious.