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TheSBot9000
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Ted (2012)
Insanely Pedestrian, Even by Seth standards
Think of every trope that gets overutilized in Seth MacFarlane's brand of humor. Now imagine each of those tropes put into a full length movie, that's what Ted is. I decided to watch it as background noise but unfortunately even with the modicum of attention that I was giving it: the humor was so bland and so rehashed that I had to cut the movie short and found greater enjoyment sitting in silence instead.
Weird interspecies sex scenes? Check
Cutaway setup Humor? Check
General "Raunchy" Humor? Check
Combine that with an awful Boston accent that often times dips into Peter Griffin territory from Seth voice acting out the titular star and a boring plot about a manchild growing up and it's truly a recipe for disaster.
That being said: considering this was made well over a decade into MacFarlane's career: none of this should come as a surprise so although I'd recommend avoiding it all-together, if you really want to watch it: cut your expectations in half and then make the decision on whether or not it's worthwhile having this movie suck up your bandwidth for 90 minutes.
Ôbârôdo (2015)
An "eh" Isekai
As the title implies: This is an Isekai anime (An anime where a character gets transported to an unknown world) where a guy gets trapped in his MMO character in a new fantasy world, with his previous NPC companions now gaining full autonomy (while maintaining an incessant undying loyalty to the guy). As a high level player, Ainz Ooal Gown comes to find out that he is in pretty much every sense of the word: invincible in the world that he now calls home.
While the concept was cool for the first season as the main character tries to understand the state of the world, his capabilities and his plan going forward: the series unfortunately suffers from the fatal flaw of making Ainz an omnipotent character. Even through the latest season: there's been essentially no character who's able to come close to the power level of even Ainz' inner circle. This leads to an exposition that relies more on overcoming abstracted political issues rather than some form of tangible villian which may or may not be an issue depending on your point of view. Much of what Ainz' does in order to overcome these tasks is less than savory and makes him seem more like a villian than a protagonist that we should care about too.
In short: while not necessarily a bad series: I feel like much of the potential was wasted in this one. If you're looking for an Isekai, I'd recommend Re:Zero instead.
The God of High School (2020)
Tournament Anime that was overly ambitious
This anime starts off very promising: a shonen about some kid trying to beat everyone in a tournament to get any wish granted. Unfortunately: that promise doesn't stay for long. There's alot of characters that they try to flesh out in this series but either due to runtime or just poor writing: you never really get an attachment to them besides the typical MMF trio protagonist team that's presented. About halfway through the first season: this tournament arc gets abruptly interrupted and replaced with a generic "apocalypse" arc where you begin to lose track of what the original goal was, who should be the main antagonist and who the main protagonist is supposed to be (this isn't in a good way btw).
I'd also like to mention the power scaling in this anime is extremely plot dependent. Seemingly "neck and neck" fights early on in the anime become mere playground tussles as the stakes get higher and characters magically become magnitudes stronger than they were just a few episodes ago. The best way I can describe this is to imagine DBZ but the Frieza and cell arc occur side by side in a single episode.
Now with that in mind: I wouldn't necessarily call this a bad anime, just a very forgettable one. The animation is fantastic and it's got a nice bit of humor tossed into it; the soundtrack is pretty solid as well! I'd probably recommend putting this on as background noise and catching 50% of what's going on rather than giving your undivided attention to it.
Schwarzesmarken (2016)
Not what you'd expect
As the synopsis implied: I came into this Anime expecting some sort of focus on Humans vs aliens. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately depending on what your interest are) there is more of a focus on political power struggles in neo-germany than on aliens vs humans. Really I would consider this anime more of a drama than an action series, which once again: is perfectly fine but unfortunately not what it is advertised as, at least in my opinion.
Once you get over that initial shock of being bamboozled, what's left is an average story held together with pretty solid animation and a catchy weeb theme song. I'd be hard pressed to recommend this series to anyone who isn't either desperate for new content or had an interest in Women who had Dead or Alive proportions in skin-tight Mech Bodysuits.
Akira (1988)
Bold, Ambitious, Timeless, One of a Kind
As generic as it may sound: This movie is really each and every word that is present in my review's title. After hearing much about it, I was finally given the chance to legally watch it on Hulu. Besides the obvious cultural impact this film has had, it is filled with fantastic shots depicting a dystopian, decaying city on the verge of collapsing. Beautifully created cityscapes, slums and streets that are overflowing with unique and diverse characters all help to create a unique environment throughout the runtime of this movie. This movie does one of the best jobs I have seen as of yet to blend it's underlying concepts of religious zealism, spirituality, coming-of-age fiction, scientific exploration and even corrupt political conflicts within a military focused nation all into one package. The story itself surreal at times and other times so grounded in reality that I can easily picture aspects of this story being based on real life events. Overall the only complaint I could give was that the dub was noticeably lacking and sometimes was CD-I Zelda bad. Since that was the version I saw, it was an 8 so, all things equal of course: the sub would be considered a 9.
Stan Helsing (2009)
Late game Scary Movie tier comedy
If you've ever seen Scary Movie 5 or Movie 43 or any of those later parody movies then you should be expecting the exact same amount of enjoyment (I.E none) from watching this movie. What originally starts off as a hopeful endeavor into the humorous representation of horror-movie tropes ends up being a bland, boring "adventure" that relies on overdone adult humor jokes to push it's non-existent plot along along until it fizzes out in the finale. It's only a 1 for 2 reasons: I can't rate it lower and I did find maybe 2 scenes actually funny.
The Basement (2018)
Would have been a waste of time even if it was free on Youtube
This movie has absolutely nothing redeemable for it besides a somewhat interesting concept, a concept that is ruined by it's lack of grounded reality and a stupid "twist" (if you can even call it that) at the end. Bad acting across the board except the serial killer and a plot with the depth of a puddle after a sprinkle of rain. Terrible, bland cinematography and the score is as you would expect from a low budget film: forgettable.
Given the choice between rewatching this movie and an hour and change of white noise, I'd choose the white noise every time.