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Reviews
Candy Cane Lane (2023)
Miracle on Elm Street meets Jumanji (the original)
Candy Cane Lane opens with a Light Fight. A nice upper middle-class neighborhood has an annual competition for the most elaborate, and probably most expensive Christmas display. Then a large prize is offered and previously friendly neighbors lose all sense of perspective.
What a funny Eddie Murphy film that might have been if it had just stayed that course! Imagine families shelling out more and more for increaingly gaudy decorations. Animated figures go awry with laughable, perhaps even vulgar outcomes. Faulty pyrotechnics cause fires. As judgement day approaches, neighbors are caught trying to sabotage each others' displays. Fights break out, Cops and lawyers are called.
That film, based in reality instead of Christmas magic gone bad, would have been far more entertaining, and certainly more humerous, than this one.
Rifftrax: I Believe in Santa Claus (2015)
I Believe/I Met/Here Comes Santa Clause
To give an idea of how confused this film is, it has three titles. Most sources use "I Believe in Santa Clause," but the opening credits call it "Santa Clause is Coming," and other sources call it "I Met Santa Clause." Christian Gion, the writer/director/producer, has now become my (a fan of terrible movies) latest research project. He seems to be a French version of James Nguyen of "Birdemic" fame, immensely passionate about filmmaking but thoroughly unskilled and poorly funded.
I Believe/I Met/Here Comes Santa Clause is a mess of a film, a conglomeration of poorly written lines delivered poorly, awkward scenes, laughable special effects, and a ridiculous plot. All of which make it a perfect film for riffing by the RiffTrax crew. The film would rate a 1 without them.
Good Sam (2022)
Not-So-Good Sam
The premise of this new show on CBS stretches credulity to the snapping point. First, there's Dr. Rob Griffith, chief heart/thoracic surgeon, a cold, demanding, and borderline narcissistic doctor and father, but he's always right when it comes to patients. Then there's Dr. Sam Griffith, Rob's daughter and second in command and also a heart/thoracic surgeon. She resents her father's lack of respect for her so much she has decided to seek employment elsewhere. To complicate matters just a bit more, Sam's mother/Rob's ex-wife is the chief medical officer of the same hospital (Aren't there any other hospitals in this city?). Oh, and one more thing: Sam is secretly involved with a resident, her underling. For such a bright person, she seems perfectly willing to risk possible accusations of favoritism or sexual harassment.
Before Sam can tell dad she's leaving, he is shot by someone in the hospital lobby for some reason. Somehow, being shot in the torso, not the head, puts him in a coma. I'm not a doctor, but that seems implausible. After being comatose for six months, he awakens and wants to get back into the operating room immediately. Again, I'm no doctor, but I always thought that people don't come out of comas like Rip Van Winkle suddenly awakening from a long nap. It's a much slower process that can take weeks or months.
Trouble is, while Rob was comatose, Sam has taken his place as the chief surgeon and Rob has to be "proctored" by another surgeon to make sure he fully regains his competency before going back into the OR. And who's going to do that, you ask? Why, Sam of course. She'll be objective, right? So episode 1 was largely occupied by Rob stepping over boundaries that Sam sets, Sam and Rob butting heads, You get the idea. But it all works out in the end when they work together to save a life.
I guess it's not impossible that a mom, dad, and daughter are all doctors at the same hospital, but it does seem unlikely, especially with dad supervising daughter, but it's good for creating drama. And then there's the supervisor/subordinate romance, which many workplaces frown upon and can be very risky.
But the entire premise just seems so contrived. The daddy/daughter issues, the torso wound that leads to a coma (no brain damage), the remarkably (some might say impossibly) quick recover, and the hospital allowing Sam to determine when her own dad is fit to do surgery, like there would be no conflict of interest there. Sorry, I'm just not buying it at all.
B Positive (2020)
UnBelievable
The retooled B Positive is built around the most ludicrous premise I've seen in quite a while. Assisted living facilities are highly regulated by states, including (at least in my state) the qualifications of the license-holder and all staff. Someone can't just decide to buy one as if it were a mall kiosk. If there's anywhere someone with no training or experience can be licensed to own and operate an ALF, I wouldn't want to grow old there.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
James Nguyen is his generation's Ed Wood
I caught this movie being riffed on Rifftrax, a new show from the MST3K gang, on Pluto TV. It's the best way to experience this stinky pile.
p.s. I wonder if Tippi Hedren sued Nguyen for giving her third billing actors credit.