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jazz-94
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Reviews
Ambulance (2022)
Jumbled mess
Almost unwatchable. I'm a drone racer so I watched this to see Vanny's shots, which were spectacular, but the whole rest of the movie is just a mess. But hey, that's Michael Bay I guess. No story line really. Nothing original at least. It's like every shot has to be some over the top "cool shot" that just gets jammed together with all the other "cool shots" that just results in a incomprehensible mess. The directing is so bad that, one of my all time favourite actors Jake Gyllenhaal, looks like a complete amateur. The music is repetitive and annoying and much of the time serves no purpose other than to drown out much of the ridiculous dialog. Why did this film have to be over 2 hours long? I felt nauseous after 10 minutes. How do films like this still get made?
Star Trek: Discovery: Coming Home (2022)
What happened? This used to be good.
Seriously. Like, this was my favourite show. Now I'm sitting her about to dump on it while the last 10 minutes of the final episode unnecessarily runs up my electricity bill. I watch everything trek. I have endured some rubbish and still enjoyed it. But this drivel has me at a loss. Star Trek is supposed to be about high stakes science related drama, but this show has turned into a puffy love-in soap opera. Was this season's writers not hugged enough as children? Burnham's "dramatic whisper" used to my only gripe, but now...... And yes, I even love Lower Decks. ;)
Coming 2 America (2021)
Fails the convey the charm of the original
There's nothing in this movie that made feel....well anything. There was the odd funny moment, and some of the acting was ok, but it seemed like it just assumed we would all enjoy it because we liked the original one. Basically, it was just boring.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Less crap, but still crap
I will sum up this movie by simply saying this. The only time I felt anything was when the Starlabs janitor died because he had a wife and kids. The only reason I know this is thanks the the absolutely STELLAR character development he received as Silas Stone left the the building. He was pretty much the only character to receive anything close to any sort of character development. Which is why, I was saddened when he was killed, but also why I couldn't give a crap about anything else that happens. A multi-million dollar exercise in vanity. Thanks for nothing, Zack.
Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet (2020)
No, it's not a lame Silicon Valley knock off!
This show was sold to me as a Silicon Valley "clone" set in a successful gaming company. While that sounded appealing as I was a big fan of SV, I went into it thinking I knew what to expect. Man was a wrong. I felt like the first half of the first episode felt a bit awkward. Like it didn't quite know what it wanted to be yet, and tried to emulate other said show by introducing a collection of quirky characters that have a contentious and dysfunctional working relationship. Perhaps that was just my skewed expectations? But once it found it's footing and this show began cutting it's own path, I was hooked. The "problems" that the team have to overcome each episode are equally ridiculous and intriguing. As a software engineer I appreciated that they didn't try to BS the coding side of things and instead focussed on the weird relationship that always exists between the "creatives" and those that actually do the work. I'm now really looking forward to the next season.
Line of Duty (2019)
Detached from reality
All you need to know is that this movie is clearly written by someone who has had a privilege lifestyle and knows nothing about how anything in the real world works. Not a single police procedure was followed. Everyone was happy to stand around and crack jokes despite the clock ticking away for the young girl in peril. The actors did their best with what they had, but this really has to be the dumbest writing I've ever seen.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: The Totally Excellent Adventures of Mack and the D (2020)
I love this show, but geez I hate Mac
I have been a massive fan of this show since day one. However, enough is enough with Mac. He is not a leader. He is the biggest whiny bitch I've ever seen. Totally incapable of making the hard decisions and folds like a deck chair under pressure, and yet Deke, who's is actually awesome, still looks up to him? Cane someone just kill off Mac already? This is the absolute worst episode of any season. The only redeeming factor was the slightly altered lyrics of Don't You which was a nice touch.
Upgrade (2018)
Underrated, brilliant, entertaining, etc
Really, I watched this because everyone on my nerdy social media pages was talking about it so I decided to give it a watch. It lived up to the hype. For a "low budget" film they have made every dollar count. Story is cool, acting is decent and the whole thing is visually spectacular due to some very clever camera work and film making techniques. I guess desperation breeds innovation, as they say. Much recommends.
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)
More of the same, which is a good thing!
I really enjoyed this movie. It felt like I was watching the second act from the original, which is a bit of a complement considering 10 years had passed. Great acting from a now even more seasoned cast, however Zoey Deutch was a great addition playing "the ditz" very well. Many have been saying this movie isn't as fresh or original as the first one, but that's actually ok. There's a kind of continuity that is comforting here, however this time there was some self-awareness thrown in that allowed the film to show it definitely didn't take itself seriously. The cameo from Bill Murray again was blatent fan-service but a very welcome one.
6 Underground (2019)
Could not even watch
I started watching this with the hope that my "man crush" Ryan Reynolds would be enough to overcome my disdain for every Michael Bay film that has ever been made, thought of being made and ever will be made. Oh how I was wrong. This movie is, for lack of a better word, a "curd". I got 10 minutes into it, 7 minutes of which I spent wishing one of the baddies would crash through the screen into my living room and shoot me in the face. The one credit that I will give Mr Bay, he is consistent. Would give zero stars of allowed.
Pitch Meetings (2017)
Absolutely brilliant!
Yeah, WOW! I have watched about 30 of these in the last week alone. So addictive. Ryan has created the perfect formula for pointing out the ridiculousness of movie plots by creating these hypothetical conversations. Even movies I love get the treatment but it's done so well, that it doesn't matter. The catchphrases are awesome and never get old. I walk around now saying "Super easy! Barely an inconvenience!" every chance I get. Much recommends.
Apollo 11 (2019)
Amazing. Simply amazing.
I don't write reviews often. In fact, this is only my second, and first positive one. This film is amazing. I've seen a lot of NASA footage over the years, but nothing like this. You get to see everything, but edited in a very consumable manner. It tells the whole story using only actual footage that is a delight to both the visual and nerd senses. Much recommends.
Watchmen (2019)
Proof that great production quality and great actors can't save a crap story
No trolling here. Genuine thoughts from someone who has no idea of the comics but enjoyed the movie, which this show has nothing to do with other than they mentions Dr Manhattan a few times. Looking at it completely independently, it's just weird and, dare I say, stupid. I'm two episodes in and anything that resembles a plot is yet to reveal itself. I understand racism is a huge issue in ol 'merica, but the rest of us all get along so a show about a bunch of the finest masked KKK types I've seen, doesn't really hit home. The acting is great and the visual production quality is high, but none of that means jack if the core of the show itself is bad. And this is bad. By now I should be starting to care about something, anything, instead I've stopped watching and decided to write my first ever IMDb review. Anyway, I urge you to make you own opinion but if you don't make it to episode 3, you are not alone. Giving this a 4 PURELY because am a huge fan of most of the cast. Otherwise, 1 star.