YassenJ Reviews

Hellboy (2004)

Really bad movie

[16 September 2004]

I don't seem to understand all the positive comments and high rating this film has achieved. I have watched it twice at home and the second time it sucked even more than the first time. The story is so stupid that only a 9-year old could take it seriously. The dialogue is plain ridiculous, packed with clichés, lame one-liners, and some characters always seemed to know everything with or without explanation. When John says he is not pure-hearted, and the fishy guy instantly replies with his C3PO voice, "Yes you are", I couldn't help from laughing. With such a complete mock of a plot, most of the actors are doing okay trying to save the film from being a complete disaster. But in addition to the lack of story, the actors are also clearly miscast, with the exception of Linda Blair, who should be playing in the next adaptation of Stephen King's "Firestarter". A good actor like John Hurt is wasted, Karel Roden was a great villain in "15 minutes" but here he just looks awkward and ridiculous. Rupert Evans - completely miscast, I did not believe he was an FBI agent for one second. No negative words on Ron Perlman though, he coped with his part in the best possible way. I cannot imagine any of the top Hollywood stars handling a role of a big, ugly, red guy with cut-out horns on his forehead... Really, if the story, dialogue and effects were good (like Spider-man 1,2 and even X-Men 2), or if the movie did not take itself so seriously, this could be fun to watch. I hope they give the sequel to another writer and director who could do something better with this material...

My rating: 4/10

Palmetto (1998)

Bad adaptation of a good book

[10 October 2002]

"Just Another Sucker" is definitely my favorite James Hadley Chase book. Unlike most of his average crime novels, this one really has a good story, memorable characters and I just couldn't leave it until I read the last page...

Well, they have tried to make a movie out of it and the result of this effort is unbeliavably bad!

The main thing about "Palmetto" is the incredibly bad acting. I mean, I loved Woody in films like "White Men Can't Jump" and "Money Train", but in this one he is really unconvincing as the main character Harry Barber. All I can say about Elisabeth Shue and Gina Gershon is that they are very pretty and charming and sexy, but the acting job they do here is so terrible! And what was Michael Rapaport thinking?? His character seemed to be taken out of a comics, his lines were so unreal...

The second big letdown is the plot itself. This movie manages to ruin the wonderful story the book had by making some very wrong script decisions. I would strongly encourage Hollywood to make another adaptation of Chase's work but stick to the original storyline this time!

Bottom line: avoid this at all costs! Its only worth seeing by people who would like to see Shue, Gershon and Sevigny dressed in some sexy attires, but I would prefer turning into the fashion channel instead!

What's the Worst That Could Happen? (2001)

Not great, but certainly watchable

[6/10 · 9 October 2002]

Well, what can I say? It's not the best Martin Lawrence film and its not even one of the top 20 best Danny De Vito films (isn't this little guy one of the biggest comic actors of our time!) but it's a nice comedy, good to rent on video or watch on TV.

Basically the plot is not very imaginative and the movie relies mostly on the actors performances. So I'll concentrate on them in this review. Here it goes:

De Vito is perfect as always. Noone could play the part of the complacent billionaire better than him! He does the best he can do with the material he's given, but his talent could have been used more appropriately if the writers had done a better job...

Martin Lawrence also playes one of his usual parts, quite similar to the part he played in Blue Streak. He does everything expected from him, including getting in disguise more than once and producing some Eddie Murphy-style jokes. But seeing Black Knight and now this, one may ask: isn't he repeating himself too much now? Sure he's funny, but he's also getting annoying to more and more people...

We also have some good-loking actresses, especially the lady playing Lawrence's girlfriend. Their parts are unfortunately too brief to be memorable.

Oh,yes, there's also William Fichtner playing one of the weirdest detectives in the history of cinema! Am I the only one who thinks he was doing a parody of Willem Defoe's character in The Boondock Saints??

As far as the plot, well, it's all about a ring...

Rat Race (2001)

Hillarious!

[7 October 2002]

Rating: 10 out of 10

This has to be the funniest film I've seen in the last few years! The cast is amazing, most of the jokes are very funny and original, and its just 2 hours of pure entertainment for the audience!

Please ignore negative comments, especially those dealing with "plot holes" or "star actors making themselves stupid"...The plot of this movie serves well the movie's main purpose, which is: TO MAKE YOU LAUGH! And all actors play their parts flawlessly given the fact that noone could expect Oscar-winning performances here!

The best sequences in my opinion: 1)Amy Smart and the air attack on her boyfriend; 2) Cathy Bates and the squirrel sequence; 3) Practically every scene with Rowan Atkinson in it (he's a great comic and he proves it here even though he's surprisingly playing an Italian and not British).

The ending seems questionable at first, but I would encourage anyone who saw the movie to suggest a better one...I think the one the creators of the movie chose is the best possible since I'm sure every viewer had a favorite of his own to steal the award!

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

Simply terrible.

[29 August 2002]

This is the most stupid and unpleasant to watch movie of the last few years. Compared to that, the first "Scary Movie" seems like a brilliant comedy! It's only 83 minutes long, which is one of the two good things about it, the other being Anna Faris.

"Scary Movie 2" is filled with bad jokes (I laughed about 3 times while watching it, but I don't remember on what, and I'm writing this a day after watching it), cliches and copy-paste scenes from other movies. A few of those are at least a bit funny (For example, the "Charlie's Angels" scene), but most are pure garbage. The plot is copied from other horror films, mostly from "The Haunting", I guess...

Actually, the first "Scary Movie" had a few scenes which could really scare you. This one is not scary, it's just repulsive...

Rating: 1 out of 10.

Please avoid seeing this even for free.

13ta godenitsa na printsa (1987)

An entertaining fantasy comedy

[7/10 · 16 November 2001]

This is one of the most funny Bulgarian movies ever made. The plot is a unique mixture of fantasy and a Middle Ages adventure. It's all filled with memorable characters, some even grotesque, plus some very funny jokes. It's basically a kids' movie, but a good entertainment for adults as well.