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Reviews
Dreamcatcher (2003)
Was the movie this bad?
This movie was so disjointed. The flashbacks were placed at very awkward times. It really didn't seem to know whether it was about the four friends or just an average hollywood thriller. Although there were moments of decent acting, they were buried under an avalanche of horrible writing. And the ending where all that suspense lead up to a final alien fight that lasted about 30 seconds, HORRIBLE.
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)
It stinks, it stinks, it stinks
Did I mention this movie stinks. My apologies if I am being arrogant to other reviewers, but if you found anything redeeming in this movie, you were not watching the same crapfest I saw. Lets see, what would be a good formula for an action movie. Incomprehensible and totally unmotivated Antonio Banderas + stone faced psycho killer Lucy Liu + non-stop explosions and gunfire + the most jumbled up, idiotic, and unresolved plot ever + a soundtrack that is all techno and actually frequently says things like "go go go go" during action scenes + some of the most ridiculous looking stunts ever caught on film = GARBAGE!!!!!
Oh and lets not forget the touching moment when Ecks (Banderas) is reunited with his wife just as the movie is having its most poignant moment. She was staring at a manatee in an aquarium. Then he shows up, they hug, we go to slow mo and some intelligence patronizing flashbacks and dialogue, and boom we understand the brilliance of the film. No, no no. This movie fails on every level on cinema. 1 is the only correct rating for this film, but this is America and we're entitled to opinions so if you gave it a 2, I guess thats ok too.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
TOP 250?????
I'm sure this review will not endear me to the majority of IMDB users who seem to share a far more glowing outlook of the movie than do I but such is the price of a democratic society. THE TOP 250 movies of all time? What movie were you people watching. Yes, I understand that this movie was a Star Wars film and thus it is hard to be totally subjective about it because of the past achievements of the holy trilogy. But please! I will be subjective despite my absolute reverence of Lucas' accomplishment in episodes 4-6. The plot was interesting and succeeded in tying in the generational connection between characters (Skywalkers, Fetts, etc...) Visually, this movie was also one of the most pleasant experiences I have ever had at a movie theater. Beyond that, its all downhill. The writing was a complete abomination of cliches that made characters that we are supposed to legitimately care for appear as nothing more than a big book of recycled hollywood drivel. The topper for me was that line comparing sand to the smoothness of Naboo followed by the awkward moment where Anakin starts feeling up Padme. Also, in terms of actual action sequences, they were few and too far between.
I recently heard a point made that I thought really helped me understand the reason why I was having trouble relating to this trilogy in comparison to the former. One big absence is the lack of the Han Solo character, or more importantly, the everyman, the critic, the cynic, the perspective from the public masses. Solo was the tie between a world of complete fantasy and our own lives. Anyway, this movie is not horrendous. I enjoyed many aspects of this movie, yet when I see it ranked in the top 250 movies of all time, I think this should at least ensure that this movie had plausible dialogue.
The Sweetest Thing (2002)
Just awkward
Let me just say that I think Cameron Diaz is an extremely talented and versatile actress and that she obviously approached this movie with great commitment and dedication. Yet she's trapped inside the trainwreck that this film is. I laughed about 2 times in this movie. 1: "@&%$ Grandma." The second was a scene where many women crowd around a ladies restroom in a SF club to fondle Christina Applegate's breast. I laughed at the idea of this scene, yet quickly stopped laughing as the joke just went on and on and on, and was beaten to the ground. The direction was so inept in this movie it was as if the stars were just given free range to do whatever they wanted. It didn't work. The scene where Jane gets something caught in her throat was a direct rip off of Something about Mary, but just didn't work. The sobbing cop, the gay cop, the random break out in song, it was too stupid to laugh it; I was too confused. This movie didn't seem to know what it was trying to accomplish. The serious scenes were poorly written, the comedic scenes had no sense of timing, and then out of nowhere random gags would arise out of nothingness. Truly inconsistent, random, and unpleasant crap.
Monster's Ball (2001)
Brilliant film
Monster's Ball is the wonderfully rare film that doesn't tackle issues it doesn't have to. As the movie opens we meet Sonny, a correctional reform worker with his father, Hank, a racist officer. Sonny is obviously depressed and its revealed that he and his father are not getting along to say the least.
SPOILER WARNING:
Sonny kills himself in an argument with Hank, but we never learn about the pair's history and how their relationship was strained to the point. Thats irrelevant to the movie. Enter Letitia, wife to a death-row convict awaiting execution, and mother to an obese but loving son. What was her husband's crime. We don't know, we don't care? Who runs over her son, or is he even run over at all? Again we don't know. This is a movie that does not look for explanations to unimportant questions. It simply displays the raw emotions of two characters whose lives, so terribly ruined, both in similar ways, can find a way to love each other. I cannot recall as moving a film in quite some time. And unlike so many other movies, when the moment of epiphany arrives, she does not run from her realization. Instead, the film beautifully ends, with the two characters together, for whatever reasons they need to be together, and with us not knowing what the future holds for them. All we know is all we saw, a beautiful journey of two characters who seemingly don't change, but desperately need each other anyway.
By the way, both leading actors are absolutely brilliant in their roles. Both act these very juicy roles brilliantly, letting their emotions flow naturally rather than indulging in the dramatic moments of the movie, and there are many of them. They both play the roles so effortlessly, I really did not feel I was watching a movie at times.
10/10
Collateral Damage (2002)
An unlikely laugh riot
First of all, let me say that no one should avoid seeing this movie because they are angry at its plot coming so close to a touchy subject as the 9/11 attacks. It is unfair to hold the attacks against this film when it was completed months in advance. With that said, if you don't want to see this movie because its subject will make you feel awkward, I can definitely understand. However, if you go to this movie be prepared for your traditional Arnold-fare. Big explosions, horrendously bad acting, and very fake looking special effects are the norm throughout. When you watch, watch Arnold carefully as he being swept up in a current in a Colombian River; more fake looking this could not have been. There seemed to be lots of movement but not much action, especially hand to hand combat in this particular film compared toto his previous works. However, unlike some people, I did not feel my time was completely wasted. When Arnold hears the death of his child and wife referred to as "collateral damage" and thus proceeds to break the computer of the insultive man with a baseball bat, thus leading him to being electrically sedated, I was rolling in hysterics. This movie is passable if only because you will not soon forget the one liners and like me will probably be repeating them with friends in a lame Arnold impersonation. If you're not, try it. We've been laughing at this film all night.