Change Your Image
befoulmetalroosa
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Forget Me Not (2009)
Forget it
This was awful. Sandy made friends with an asthmatic orphan named Angela. Apparently, Angela was rather possessive of her only friend. They liked playing some kind of ghost game in the cemetery. One day, Angela sees her friend playing the ghost game with a bunch of other kids. She goes out and throws a royal hissy fit. Later, Sandy stops at the orphanage and offers to play the game with Angela. Only Sandy's friends are all there, buried under leaves, and they jump out and attack Sandy, which terrifies Angela. She runs, and is chased by this group of cruel, normal kids, which results in Angela having convulsions as she stops breathing. She's in a coma.
Cue later. Sandy, her brother Eli, and the rest of their friends graduate. They party. They have fun. They go out to the cemetery to play the ghost game, but Angela joins in. Once Sandy is alone, Angela asks 'Do you remember me?' When Sandy looks confused, Angela says 'You will.' then jumps off a cliff. Thus begins the real ghost game, where Angela sends these demon things to kill off all of Sandy's friends, one by one. As each one dies, everyone who is left, except for Sandy, forgets that the dead person actually existed. In the end, when Sandy attempts to 'kill the ghost' as per the game rules, Angela turns the tables and sends Sandy off the hospital roof. Now, Sandy is in a coma but Angela is awake and aware.
It was boring and tedious. Nothing new or innovative with the 'ghost' makeups. A couple of jump scares. The teens were stereotypical. The brainy ones. The jock. The slut-both male and female. The stoner. The one who is so desperate for recognition by the opposite sex that she puts out for everyone. And, as usual with horror movies, gratuitous sex that has no real place in the film. It doesn't advance the story any and it's beyond irritating. All in all, take a pass on this one.
Nightmare Code (2014)
Good little indie film
This was surprisingly good for the budget. The actors were well chosen, and played their parts convincingly. A man who was a whistle-blower in a government tech job, and who subsequently ended up in legal trouble (though what he did to end up that way is never explained) winds up in another tech job, trying to work out the bugs on a software development project that the previous senior developer went postal on, killing his entire team and himself. Through all kinds of snafus, and ups and downs, he struggles to make the program work, ironing out the bugs. However, for some unforeseen (to them)circumstances, the bugs keep reappearing and replicating. Eventually, we learn that the previous senior programmer, whose name was Cotton, had worked the program in a way that he could upload himself into the program, thereby becoming immortal. It's Cotton that is changing r.o.p.e.r. into something other than a recognition software. As expected, it doesn't end well for the human race.
This was a good little film, full of suspense and taking its jabs at 'big brother'. The characters were very well fleshed out, and you sympathized with every one of them. There were a couple of douchy minor characters, but every good movie needs at least one. Someone you root for to bite the big one. You felt the paranoia as the computer systems began to actually act on their own. This went far beyond AI and into realms of 'ghost in the machine'. 'Transcendence', another film along these lines and boasting both big budget and big stars, is a good movie to compare this one to. Both were effective in the messages they were trying to send, and both are incredibly good watches.
Searching for Haizmann (2003)
Complete and total dreck
This movie was a steaming pile of excrement. The premise is that this Haizmann dude made a pact with Satan a few centuries ago to be able to live forever, the deal being that, if the devil agreed, then Haizmann would be his vessel for the antichrist. Fast forward to 'now' and a high school kid, a college girl, and a disabled teacher are looking for him. They want to see if he still exists and if he's the real deal.
They go meet some terrified dude they'd contacted off the internet. The visit to the apartment is dark and stupid and badly acted, with nine dead, headless chickens hanging from the ceiling fan in terrified's bedroom. It was a 'test', but the teacher is 'affected' by it. Later, she meets terrified in a wooded park, where he and 'someone else' accost her. It's badly lit, and the sound quality sucks donkey d**k. First it sounds like it's recorded in a vacuum, then the dialogue is super loud, then the outside noises drown out the dialogue. Some guest spots by Clint Howard, the guy from "My Dinner with Andre," and Tippi Hedren. I can only assume that they desperately needed the money.
The 'black mass' was a joke. Abysmally plotted out, with everyone singing 'ring around the rosies'. WTF? To top it off, the movie stopped playing in the middle. I didn't even get to watch this hamfisted mess to the end.
Do not invest either the time or the money on this turkey. Don't watch it on the IMDb freebie, either, because you won't get the whole movie.
Head Cases: Serial Killers in the Delaware Valley (2013)
Boring
This was relentless. Relentlessly dull and unimaginative. It looks to be a sequel of sorts to the first one, entitled "The Ritual." This one was done in a more DiscoveryID docudrama way, which didn't really help it at all. The older characters were dumpy and bland, and the young 'proteges' were lackluster. The video footage portraying the 'murders' lacked any sort of realism. The only one that I was discomfited by was the anal rape with the bowie knife.
Both Montgomery's mother and wife were the ultimate uberbi****s, which really underscored Montgomery's milquetoast demeanor. I mean, I get that a serial killer that is the most unassuming and non-confrontational man ever would be an interesting twist. The 'he was so quiet. Very polite and courteous. Willing to help anyone' type of person. However, that particular characterization in this film just made it fall flat. It's tough to believe that a man with so little testicular fortitude would be capable of kidnapping and killing people.
Gang Tapes (2001)
An excellent companion piece to Straight Outta Compton
Where "Straight Outta Compton" explores the birth of rap and the rise of the godfathers of the genre, this film explores the grittier, meaner, more violent side to the culture. A carjacking results in a camcorder falling into the hands of a fourteen year old, up and coming banger. He takes it with him everywhere, and films everything. From the raps and rhymes of some of his homies to the creation of crack cocaine for sale; from the sexcapades of his gang to the drive by shootings, everything is exposed in graphic, gut-wrenching detail. This film puts a face to the inner city urban blight that is affecting the African Americans in this country. Be they from Compton and Watts, or be they from Detroit, their despair is poignantly displayed.
Yes, the choices made by the black youths in this country are theirs to own, but with urban school systems set up for failure, and broken relationships; with no real, relevant role models, these youths' choices are limited. Growing up around this kind of violence and criminality leave them with little direction to go. This film speaks to that stagnancy and loss of potentiality in a way that few others do.
To Jennifer (2013)
One long a** road trip with no payoff
This is billed as a comedy. Other than a couple of minor laughs, it is not in the least funny. Nor is it horrifying. Nor is it even remotely interesting. It's a 'home-made' movie about two dudes, who are cousins, filming one dude's slam against his cheating girlfriend. They go on a plane where girlfriend-dude throws a major panic attack and ends up staying in the hospital for three days under psych eval. That was tipoff number one.
They finally get out, and the dudes call third dude, who comes to pick them up. BTW, girlfriend-dude is Joey, cousin is Steve, and douche-dude is Martin. Anywho, they get to Martin's house, where Joey proceeds to have a meltdown. He wants to travel to Jennifer's house (girlfriend) with the footage to film her cheating. I was never sure of the purpose of the film; no one ever mentioned what they wanted to do with it, other than show it to Jennifer as proof of her infidelity. Maybe YouTube.
Martin takes his buds to a party and tries to hook Joey up with someone else. Unfortunately, the girl kicks Joey's a**. They go back to Martin's house, where Joey continues to whine and nag about the road trip until Martin gives in. An hour into the trip and they stop at a rundown motel, which has the obligatory crime scene room. Martin parks them in a quasi-functional room and takes two hours to procure two hookers (one of them is a shemale) for Joey, who goes postal. Martin leaves, Joey follows. He goes to an ATM to get the money that Martin didn't have for the escorts, and kills Martin while he's at it, stealing the dead man's car.
The cousins finally get to the house, some loud screaming between the two occurs, and Joey goes into Jennifer's house. He left the trunk of Martin's car open, and Steve discovers Martin's dead body inside it, so, being the total idiot he is, he enters the house to hunt down his wayward cousin, earning himself his death for disobeying Joey. The rest of the film is Joey hunting his 'girlfriend' and terrorizing her.
This thing was a mess from the get go. It was violently anti-woman, depicting females as sluts and whores. Not one single female was represented in a positive way; even the mother was lacking. The director really needs to take a long, hard look at himself, and figure out why he hates women like he does.
Spirit Stalkers (2012)
More of the same
This is a contribution to a very tired genre. The haunted house flick. A woman is experiencing paranormal phenomena;i.e. doors closing by themselves, strange noises, night terrors, ghostly voices. Because she was diagnosed with schizophrenia,and was on continued treatment for it, she shrugged it off. Until one too many things drove her over the edge. Believe it or not, it was finding her just folded laundry strewn about the room that did it. Her daughter contacts spirit stalkers, who come in to 'save the day'.
Unfortunately, she had contacted Miss Louise, a genuine psychic, who comes to her house and tells her that there is a deep evil there. She must take herself and her daughter away. She will 'cleanse' the house, for a fee ($5000). Ex hubby is peeved, and worried.
So the spirit stalkers come and catch 'real footage' of a 'ghost'. They also catch EVP evidence. After Reuben, the lead spirit stalker, tells Gloria, the woman, that the spirits won't hurt her, he offers to put her and her daughter Kelly up in a hotel for a couple of nights so that the show can do some follow up. Before mom leaves, she has to go back for the keys. Unfortunately, the spirits-the old man who had a stroke and killed his much younger wife, the murderous mom and her two butchered kids and the dead younger wife-infest her and she kills her daughter then herself.
Reuben discovers that his crew conspired with the psychic to 'plant' a ghost, which turns out to be the psychic's granddaughter. Reuben confronts his crew and lays it on the line; they had driven Gloria insane with their shenanigans, and are therefore responsible for the deaths of Gloria and Kelly.
Unfortunately, the ghosts, which turn out to be real, take advantage of the mental weaknesses of the crew and slaughter them all.
This was a frightfully dull movie. The actor playing Reuben was the only one who seemed to actually care about his performance. The rest of the cast was lackluster and bland. The 'father' came off as gay, if you can believe it. All in all a very disappointing view.
The Changing of Ben Moore (2015)
Poor Milo
Two guys live together. Ben isn't doing well. He sleepwalks, and scares the crap out of his roommate/brother. He doesn't remember anything the next day. So the brother decides to film the nighttime activities. Ben's girlfriend is snarky and sarcastic and doesn't think there's anything worth filming. Some other throw away people revolve around Ben and his issues.
Then the killing starts. The first to go is a cat. Next is Milo, Ben's dog. That's the only death I'm sad about. Then comes the death of 'the Grinch', an old man that lives a few houses away. Then the girlfriend, and I was glad that she bit the big one. She sucked so very badly. Horrible, horrible acting. She almost could've phoned it in, she was so unenthusiastic. Then John dies (one of the throw aways), the brother is chased out of the house but comes back with the token African American, who bites it before the brother is finally killed.
The guy who played Ben was okay. He did confused and conflicted rather well. The rest of the cast was either annoying or monotonous. No real standouts in the characters, and the 'creepy' stuff was standard demon possession fare. The priest was worthless; he was completely superfluous to the plot because he was never used again. A completely purposeless character. The cop was reading his lines from his little notebook. Quite ridiculously humorous, but not in a good way.
666: The Devil's Child (2014)
Waste of time
This was an exercise in pointlessness. A woman and her friend go to the house of a hook up for the friend. She's along because she's doing her end of term film on supernatural phenomenon, and the hook up promises plenty, since her house is connected to Native Americans in some way. Turns out the house is built on sacred ground, where a bloody massacre of hundreds of Native Americans had occurred. Add in that the hook up is really a succubus, and the woman has bleeding bug bites on her, obviously fake, belly, and that's the film. In a nutshell. No baby, no pregnancy until the last two, maybe three minutes. A couple of 'ghost' sightings, but why? I mean, if the child is supposed to be the devil's, why have the 'ghostly' appearances. And all they did was stand there, or float horizontally above the woman, with a gaping mouth. That's it.
The succubus is quite beautiful and seductive. For the most part, the character works as a one-dimensional tramp. The man in this film was, for the most part, lazy in his performance and his line delivery. No real passion in his performance. The woman filmmaker was, in a word, horrible. The man-faced woman looked like a drag queen, and delivered her lines in a near mumble for most of the movie. It was almost as if she had her jaws wired shut. Not worth the time.
Life Tracker (2013)
This was phenomenal
What can I say? Probably one of the best mockumentaries I've ever seen. It is also a testament to the downside of excessive technologies. It is a film in which a company, Life Tracker Limited, is able to predict a person's potential future, based on their DNA. It can even predict your death. Unfortunately, it predicts the exact same 'death day' for 99.9 percent of the world's population.
The actors treated this like a serious film, which it was. They were well chosen. All were personable, funny, good natured, and capable of raw emotion when the script called for it. The script itself was well written. It was understandable and relatable and very realistic. It's a very intelligently done movie, and good for a night in.
Don't let the running time fool you. It may say one hour seven minutes, but it's actually one hour forty seven minutes.
Infernal (2015)
Dear Lord!
This movie had barking dogs. And deep, sinister laughter. And high-pitched cackling. And a naked demon that liked to crawl into the bed of an eight year old girl. And a demon hand petting that same eight year old girl. And crickets. Lots and lots of excruciatingly LOUD crickets. Oh, and a soundtrack sung by a self-styled and self-produced musical artist that mildly sucked. He was incredibly nasal, but the music part of the songs was pretty good.
That's all this movie had going for it. The scares were non-existent. The family and friends support was barely recognizable. The only scene worth mentioning was when the eight year old girl bludgeoned her mother to death. It's worthy of mention only because of the gratuitous and vicious brutality with which she dispatched her matriarch. With a ball peen hammer. To the face. Repeatedly. It sounded like she was pounding the hammer into a pumpkin. The girl was cute, but annoying. They 'diagnosed' her as autistic. Granted, they had the repetitive motions symptom down, but the rest wasn't accurate at all. She made eye contact. She was highly verbal. She was very aware of the world around her. I know because my grandson is an eight year old autistic, and he's only now regularly using his words.
The movie was a hot mess all around. Not even the halfway decent acting on the part of Nathan and Sophia could save this turkey.
The Visit (2015)
M. Night Shyalamon should retire
This was so not worth it. A mom and her two kids, dumped by dad, are barely existing. Mom keeps picking up losers, who keep dumping her. Her fifteen year old daughter wants to be a documentary filmmaker, while her younger son wants to be another eminem. So, to give mom time to enjoy herself with the latest man, the kids offer to go visit grammy and grampy for a week. They get there, and all kinds of odd things happen, culminating in a last-minute rescue. The end.
The only thing worth watching in this whole mess were the kids. The boy was pricelessly cute and charming, and very effective as the smarta** that all little brothers become. The girl was serious (maybe a bit too serious) and dedicated. Both kids bore emotional scars from dad's abandonment of them, which colored how they related with their world.
While with grammy and grampy, strange things occur overnight. Grammy is found naked, scratching the walls and doors. Or, she runs from room to room, all hunched over with arms clasped behind her back. Or, she lurks outside the kids' bedroom door with a butcher knife in hand. During the day, she's slightly less odd. She crawls around underneath the porch, terrifying the kids who had gone under there to play hide and seek. She sits in a rocking chair, facing a wall and laughing at...nothing.
Grampy, on the other hand, is a little more...stable? He hides his crap-filled diapers in a shed. What he's saving them for is anyone's guess. At one point, the girl catches him as he puts the barrel of a shotgun in his mouth. Needless to say, the grandparents have issues. As the week progresses, the kids become more and more panicked and beg their mom to come get them. The 'visit' culminates with grammy trying to kill the girl and getting stabbed with a piece of mirror for her trouble, and grampy terrorizing the boy and rubbing his poo-filled diaper all over the boy's face, because the kid is a germophobe. That scene was relentlessly cruel and unnecessary, as well as repulsive. The girl finally escapes the locked bedroom of dead grammy, only to be attacked by grampy. The boy finally takes charge and batters grampy's head in with the refrigerator door.
The movie was a mess. The shocking 'twist' was that they weren't actually the real grammy and grampy. They were nuts who escaped from the nuthouse that the real grammy and grampy had volunteered at. It was as dull, lifeless, and trite as his previous movies, but most especially The Village. Nothing new was explored, and the 'frights' were nonexistent.
The Bucks County Massacre (2010)
A hot mess
This was the most excruciating thing I've ever seen. It was loud and annoying, and I couldn't understand WHY any of these people were friends. They were vicious and nasty to each other, and yes, they had the excuse of being 'drunk', but for a birthday celebration, it was awful. The 'testimonials' from the 'families' were filled with nothing but wonderful and good things about their dead children. The 'families' didn't seem to be grieving in a natural way. It was if they took 'Ham Acting 101'.
The man-thing was barely seen, and the purpose of the slaughter was unclear. He wasn't EATING them, so why ATTACK them. I wanted to slap those stupid girls so very badly. I kept saying SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. They wouldn't stop their infernal screaming, even when it would've been prudent for them to be friggin' QUIET.
All in all, a hack job of a stupid found footage mess. Blech.
Afflicted (2013)
This was so good!
I watched the preview, and was sold on the movie just from that. It looked exciting and scary and I was totally in. I watched the movie, was pleasantly surprised. First of all, the actors, who also wrote and directed the film, were so natural and likable that they instantly drew me in. The 'round the world' trip is something I would've planned with my deceased husband, had I had the time. The fact that Derek was already sick, with a potentially deadly aneurysm, and was still willing to spend his potentially last few days traveling with his best friend touched my heart. The travel blog portion of the movie was spectacular. The videography made everything look so breathtakingly beautiful, that I thought it might have been a real documentary, and the preview was a mistake. Until Andrea. When the film turned that dark corner, it became something else. Derek's slow change to vampire was at times exhilarating, and at others terrifying.
When Derek found out that he could only subsist on blood, and then proceeded to kill his best friend, it broke my heart. But, there was a light at the end of the dark tunnel. Or, at least more dark at the end of the dark tunnel. After a chase fraught with peril, and the resultant carnage, Derek learned that he could choose how to feed, and focused on the bottom feeding scum that walked the earth.
I loved this movie. I would recommend it to everyone and anyone. It is what found footage films could be, with the right people behind the camera.
Atrocity (2014)
Mildly interesting
This was an all right movie. Kept me interested for most of it. The acting with the interviewer (Bobby), the detective, the Doctor, and the nurse was wooden and flat. The young men who played the killers/killed were quite good. They had some funny bits during the party, but other than that, it was pretty much a stock 'snuff' film. It definitely could have done without either girl; both were strident and screechy. The killings themselves were unoriginal. Jason Voorheese with personality. Brendon did the sociopath bit pretty well; probably the most convincing of all the characters. Worth a watch if you can get it for free; not really worth paying for.
Dark Vision (2015)
Mediocre at best
I thought this film had promise. A good blend of 'found footage' and third person perspective. The acting was standard for the type of movie it is, with a couple of standout performances.
Spencer Knights, played by Bernie Hodges, was an asshat of the purest variety. More concerned for winning his own network show, he put his entire crew, plus one, in danger for the highest hits on his internet feed. The villain in this instance was the spirit of a doctor who sacrificed thirteen children to open a doorway to the shadow realm. Unfortunately, Spencer re-enacted the ritual, sans sacrifices, and allowed a cambion to inhabit the doctor's wandering spirit. As it ran rampant, killing the rest of the crew and the plus one, it became more real. Fortunately, two of the crew escaped more or less intact.
Clem, the caretaker, played by Judith Haley, was a lush after my own heart. She provided enough comic relief, as well as creep factor, to keep the film mildly interesting. She provided the accurate background for the 'ghost', as well as some interesting tidbits of witchcraft and paganism. She used her witchy ways to banish the cambion back into the other realm.
A couple of jump scares, but mostly a lot of loud noise and a slowly stalking man in a monk's robe and beak mask make for a so-so film. Had they attempted to inject a little more humor, it might've garnered a little higher rating. Obviously, in spite of its best efforts, it wasn't a really scary 'horror' movie; just a run of the mill haunted house flick.
Bloodwood (2010)
I'm being generous with that rating
Low budget doesn't even begin to COVER how bad this movie is. The opening sequence with the 'nature documentary narration' was cute. It would've been quite effective, had this been a campy comedy. Unfortunately, the film takes itself waaaaay to seriously. Begin with the horrible opening music. The soundtrack sounded like a bunch of power tools being banged together with handsaws and socket wrenches. The 'host' with his FAKE Australian accent was too annoying for words. It seemed like he was trying to channel Steve Irwin, which was a slap in the face to the Irwin family. He was hammy and overacted every line of dialogue he had. Even his SENSITIVE moment by the fire, talking about the plane crash, was overdone.
The 'assistant', who was brought along to be a 'step and fetchit' for the producer, was bland and one-note with every line she delivered. There was absolutely NO inflection in her voice whatsoever. She sounded like she was reading a pizza menu, for f***s sake.
The 'feral' girl they found was terrible. I was a performer in a traveling carnival show for a little while one summer. I volunteered to be 'Zoma the Wild Girl'. I had to act like a savage, and let me tell you, I scared the bejeezus out of the customers with my act. This girl couldn't scare a friggin mouse. She was too clean and too neat to have been living in the woods for as long as they say she did. In fact, all of the 'cannibals' were a little too neatly pressed.
Segue to the tavern, where everyone was enjoying a pint. The exterior, where the producer and the tracker were attempting to 'flirt' with each other. It reminded me painfully of a seriously badly acted porno, it was that clumsy and uncomfortable.
The dialogue was wretched. Overall, there was nothing to like about this film. And it doesn't even really QUALIFY as a 'found footage film', as the majority of it was shot from a third person perspective.
Hollows Grove (2014)
That was f*****g awesome!
It has been a very, very long time since a horror movie made me jump in any way. This one did. The actors were well chosen and believable. I even liked the sexist pig with the inappropriate humor. I loved that the main host, Tim, was a complete skeptic, telling his friend Harold (Potter *chortle*) that it was all smoke and mirrors. Lance Henrickson as the prop master Bill was especially wonderful. He's campy and creepy and all around excellent, even though he is woefully underutilized. The jump scares were plentiful, and very effective, and there were several points during their exploration where my hands were clasped firmly over my mouth to prevent me from making any loud noises and disturbing my neighbors at 1:30 a.m. The ghostly children were rarely seen, which made their appearances more spooky. There's nothing scarier than truly creepy children, and the one who played Lilah the throat slasher was especially creepy. The special effects were well handled, without being overused. It was mostly atmosphere and anticipation that made this a truly enjoyable horror film.
Stripped (2013)
Dared to be different
This isn't the typical 'found footage' film. No ghosties, ghoulies, three-legged beasties and things going bump in the night. This is a whole new level to organ harvesting. The first half of the film was quite funny. The four young men acted as retarded and testosterone-fueled as young men normally do when faced with a trip to Vegas. On the way, they stop and pick up the best friend/casual screw girl of one of the men, because she wants to meet her full time boyfriend there. They get there, and frivolity and revelry ensues. They get massively drunk and phone a local whorehouse for directions and an appointment.
That's when everything goes wrong, both with the trip and the movie. Up until then, it was a fun and mildly humorous flick, enjoyable for the homage to the ribald buddy movies of Hollywood. Once you get into the slice and dice portion of the film, it rapidly descends into truly wretched torture porn. The 'doctor' who does the harvesting skulks around in the dark warehouse with a surgical mask covering the lower half of his face for the entire second half. He's not even mildly interesting, nor is he really creepy, which defeats the purpose of having him there in the first place. The whores are passably pretty, with the exception of the woman who takes the birthday boy downstairs for a private dance. There's just something stunningly beautiful about a woman who really loves to dance. The way she moves her body is musical. That was the only good part to the whole second half. The blonde was simply breathtaking in the way she moved her body, and the rapturous expression on her face elevated it to another level. It was a good effort, but could've done without much of the second half.
HazMat (2013)
Not friend or family
I thought this was a really good movie, for the kind it was. The actors were very natural, and the smarmy host of the 'reality' scare show was just the right amount of douche. The two girlfriends were disposable; neither one was more than a cardboard cutout stereotype of what most people believe Hispanic ladies to be. The best friend was a dick; why anyone would torment their 'best friend' like that, it's just sad. I once heard a comic say that if you make disparaging jokes about someone, it means that you really don't like them. It's a kind of passive aggression, and this 'prank' is the ultimate definition of passive aggressiveness. I liked most of the cast members, and I was really rooting for Brenda to survive. Alas, it was not meant to be. I thoroughly enjoyed the fella who played Jacob; personally, I thought he was the best of a fairly good cast. It was well-written and tightly directed. A great combination of 'found footage' and third person perspective make this a really enjoyable watch.
The Expedition (2008)
Urgh!
I could not make it past the first five minutes. I kid you not. It was that horrible. The level of dreckitude for this film is beyond the pale. First, the 911 call. At one point, the operator tells the caller to calm down. If he were any calmer, he'd have been in a COMA. The flat delivery of the dialogue just shows the lack of any sort of enthusiasm for the project, by the very people who are getting PAID to care! The girl behind the video camera in the front seat of the van...GAH! That insipid giggling had me grinding my teeth in homicidal irritation. The actors showed absolutely no excitement for what should have been an awesome adventure. Maybe they knew just how much this turkey would actually suck.
Don't even get me STARTED on the horrible 'interrogation'. Man, if that were a real cop, he'd have been limited to desk duty for his entire career. He lacked any sort of charisma or intelligence. And the Jay Leno wannabe video tech was...I have no words. I just couldn't make myself watch this anymore, even though I didn't have to pay for it. Canada should stick to comedy, Brian Adams, Anne Murray, and Bob and Doug Mackenzie. Oh, and let's not forget South Park.
The Crying Dead (2011)
Boring
Run of the mill haunted asylum found footage film. Very little creativity or imagination to this one. A little twist in that the 'reality' program they were trying to create relied heavily on tricks and gimmicks for the 'hauntings', until the ghosts got angry. Makes a statement for the validity of 'reality ghost hunter' programs. Meh. Could have been handled better; perhaps with an eye toward comedy. The lead actor 'expert' was annoying and condescending. None of the females were worth anything, and the cameramen were throwaways. The end credits music was pretty good. I think I found a new band to check out. About the only thing I would recommend for the film.
7 Nights of Darkness (2011)
Surprisingly good
This was much better than I expected. It was funny and engaging, and the scares were plenty. A group of six young adults enter an abandoned asylum for seven nights, and they have to perform a single task each night. The actors all interacted both like they had just met, but seemed like they had known each other their whole lives. I found myself laughing very frequently during the buildup to the haunted portion of it, and it made me like the movie even more.
The scares were spot on. I had frequent bouts of nervous laughter, after I nearly jumped out of my skin. The ghosts were really very spooky. Barely visible, but still menacing nevertheless. It was good that the only times you actually saw the horrifying face was when Lena was strapped in the lobotomy chair, and at the end of the movie with the last victim. The doll was creepy as well, and even got a thanks at the end of the movie, which I thought was pretty amusing.
The director/actor knew exactly what he was doing when he helmed this film, and he was smart to select the crew he did, which also doubled as the cast. They were all professional and worked to make a really scary found footage film.
Tusk (2014)
Truly unexpected.
What can I say? This movie was horrifying, horrible and heart-wrenching, all in one. Justin Long plays a podcast host to a web show that deals with unusual topics. It's hard to describe the podcasts; the film doesn't really go into much detail. His girlfriend, who he frequently cheats on, is completely clueless, and is also clueless to the fact that the podcast partner, played by Haley Joel Osment, is deeply in love with Justin's girlfriend. On his way to see a sea captain for the best story ever, Justin finds himself in dire straits, as the nutball decides to turn him into the walrus who saved the captain's life when he was shipwrecked. What the movie descends into is something along the lines of Human Centipede. Seeing Long as the walrus, with his big, soulful eyes communicating his pain, suffering and anguish just makes your heart bleed for him.
In a surprising role, which I believe he's unbilled for, is Johnny Depp as the detective hired by Long's girlfriend and podcast partner to find the missing man. The hunt is amusing, and if I wasn't so familiar with some of Depp's mannerisms, I wouldn't have known it was him in the role. The movie, whether you like it or hate it, grabs you from the get-go, in a stranglehold that doesn't really let you go. It's rather unforgettable.
Muirhouse (2012)
Not bad
This one was done a bit more professionally than a lot of 'ghost hunter' found footage films. There was a lot of background information; evp evidence, video, pictures, etc. That made it more realistic. It took some time getting started, but the lead actor who played Muirhouse was excellent. He showed a vulnerability that I've seldom seen with the usual ghost hunter types. He didn't act macho and all 'I ain't scared of nothing'. It was refreshing to see a human ghost hunter. That being said, it ended up being your standard-fare haunted house movie. The usual bumps in the night, doors opening and closing, and shrieks. Lights going out intermittently. The same old, same old.