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Reviews
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
Better then X-men 3
X-men 3 was so dire and so the only way this could go was up for me but it will be a long time before they bring the standard back up to that of the first two movies.
The mistake that Hollywood and a lot of TV in general make these days is lack of character development. They want to see a half dozen characters thrown into different situations and they want it all done in one movie. How can you feel any form of loss for a character if you have no connection with them?
Was it a bad movie?
No, it just wasn't a good movie. You don't come away feeling like you were there. You don't feel a part of the movie like you might have with the first or second. The great thing about X-men 1 was that they showed various characters but it was in passing, they might be sat in a class room and using their abilities just so you can point and go Ah! that's who that is.
But here they try to apply those characters willy nilly and a lot of questions start to pop up.
Here is a spoiler but a good example of poor forward planning. At one point its suggested that shooting wolverine through the head will kill him or take him out of the equation. Yet knowing this they send "Agent Zero", a character who has perfect marksmanship at incredible range, to face Wolverine without these adamantium bullets? They even mention that its pretty much a suicide run for agent zero, yet if he's their best shot at taking him out then why waste him?
Surely that's just common sense, we can only kill him with these bullets, well lets give these bullets to the incredible marksman then.
Its an OK movie, its on par with the original hulk movie or Dare Devil. It deserves to be rated higher for the action sequences alone but poor script writing lets this movie down.
Watch it when it comes out on Sky, don't bother seeing it at the cinema
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
This film made me cry
I was recently asked to name the top 5 movies that made me cry
5. Dumbo 4. Bambi 3. Jersey Girl 2. Dragonball Evolution 1. X-Men 3
So bad is this movie I feel the need to review it again if I haven't done already just to bury it for good.
X-men 1 was well thought out and built the story X-men 2 the hype is building, story laid out characters explained X-men 3 All they had to do was add the finishing touches. They could have made a good film without concluding the saga... but no.
Oh God where to start
They started throwing in random mutants and killing them off with out a care. They took established characters from the series and put them in situations that just didn't make sense. The Juggernaut, kept in a moving car and not nearly as big as he is in the comics? Magneto throwing cars and the other mutant setting fire to them, as though being hit by a car wouldn't be quite enough to kill someone? Why not just shoot flames at the X-men.
Its this complete lack of forward thinking that echoes throughout the whole movie. All could be forgiven if they had just told a simple story but instead they took huge aspects of the comic and threw them in everywhere without explanation, completely killing any opportunity for a sequel, hence the release of a prequel.
Right at the beginning you see a sentinal head... The Sentinals were near unstoppable and now they're being used in a training program?? That's a HUGE plot aspect that they can NEVER look into. Completely gone because the director felt the need to spice up a prop. The fact that its included at all just throws up so many questions.
Even disregarding the blatant hatred the director felt for the franchise the movie is so cliché its unbearable. beast is a wasted character and everything is so one directional.
Its just terrible.
I hold out hope for the day they re-make X-men 3 and pretend like this never happened.
Yes, its that bad.
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)
LOL! The comments on this film are the best part
OK, well the movie goes on and on and on and on about pretty much nothing.
M.Bison's performance was the ONLY thing in this movie worth even glancing at.
The best way to describe this movie would be to imagine a day time sci-fi or true films movie that seems to never end.
The guy who played bullrog is normally bang on the money, I'm not sure what happened there.
Anyway reading some of this comments made me laugh quite a bit so that was for me the high light of the whole thing for me. Reading the funny criticisms, there's just so many :D
So good are the bad reviews for this movie that people are giving it 10 of 10 just so they can get their voice heard on just how bad it is, that's amazing!!
So yeah read these through, they're worth a chuckle but don't see the movie. Seriously, or fast forward 90% of the movie if you can.
Oh and one more thing
NEVER PUT RAPPERS IN MOVIES! EVER! EVEN IN BIT PARTS! PLEASE STOP! THEY CAN'T ACT, ARE YOU BLIND!
Dragonball Evolution (2009)
Its Dragon BALL! not Dragon Ball Z, remember how that used to look
Let me just explain, the animation on the original Dragon Ball cartoon was so bad that they used to take one shot of scenery and scroll it endlessly whenever people were ether driving, flying or running. It was sketchy to say the least. You don't get the same characters, the whole thing was aimed at children, I personally could not watch more then a few episodes. It was terrible. Dragon Ball Z was awesome, Dragon Ball was poor.
NOW! This film is nowhere near as bad as everyone is making out. I liked the original Mortal Kombat and to say this movie is as bad as that is a bit harsh. I liked Goku's character, he had the same sort of cheekiness I think and I don't know I entered the thing with an open mind. I don't mind if the effects aren't that great because for me its just nice to see these characters brought to life.
The smartest move they made was to start with Dragon Ball, not Dragon Ball Z, because they still have that target audience.
Yes this could have been done better, but look at the costumes and the casting. Does this film look as though it had a block buster budget?
I think the actors did the best job they could with what they had, I think the effects were pretty good and chow yung fat was pretty cool. Go back and watch a handful of episodes from Dragon Ball, not Dragon Ball Z and you might just appreciate what they've done.
I've given this film a 10 purely to kick it out of that 3 star status which I feel is a bit harsh.
Look at it this way, you have people familiar with Dragon Ball Z who are drawing direct comparisons, when the two series are drastically different and you have die hard fans who are never going to be satisfied with the movie because you can't squeeze ten years of characters and story line into one movie.
In reality I would give this a 7 because the money just wasn't spent on this movie and the graphics could have been better. There are also some pretty big plot holes, for examples the Oozaru is not gargantuan as it is in the series and Goku is able to tame his Oozaru transformation using sheer will power... That's a pretty big plot hole because the whole point is that he shouldn't be able to do that and when he finally is able to tame the Oozaru power in the series it allows him to become super saiyan 4 I think, something like that. So making GT might be a stretch perhaps.
I don't know I'm a pretty big DBZ fan and I didn't feel overly let down. I liked the characters and the way they were played out.
See it, draw your own conclusions
Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008)
Miss Understood (Contains Spoilers)
Now this is a good movie, its just that it has a couple of limiting factors. People compare it to the original, the original had a much bigger budget, all things considered they worked to their budget pretty well.
Why is it so hated? Towards the end of the movie the Federation adheres to religion. Some people missed the underlying message. Their is a Marshal in the movie who is a well received and respected psychic. He spends time with the Brain bug that Rico captured in the first movie. Through the brain bug he is able to contact a much larger bug who he sees as god and who's will he follows blindly. The Admiral notices this and admires the way in which the bugs are able to make their own follow blindly in this way. Its emphasized and comes completely out of the blue almost, hence it grabbed my attention but seemed to slip by so many others.
Hence at the end of the movie the Federation adopts religion as a propaganda method. It takes the mick out of religion and the way in which its used to fight wars.
People wanted blood, gore, violence and comedy. Instead they got a story. By now you might have noticed how each Starship Troopers movie, while set in the same Universe, follows a completely different story. The first being all action, the second a type of horror and the third being more of a comment on war as a whole I guess, also wikipedia states that of the 3 the last is the closest representation of the books.
It is good It is worth watching and I've read that if you want to see a Starship troopers 4 you have to invest in Starship troopers 3. Which is a fair enough comment
Revolver (2005)
It makes idiots feel smart
ITS ABOUT FIGHTING YOUR EGO!!
clap clap well done I watched this movie when I was blind drunk, I still got it then, it was predictable, it was obvious what Ritchie was trying to achieve but it was pieced together in such a way as to "look" clever.
When the majority of people think its a bad movie, take the majority vote.
Its not arty, its not clever, its been done before and done better. Just spend your money elsewhere and feel happy in having done so.
I bought this movie on DVD, it now has its own special place on my shelf under the "should have kept the receipt" section
I despise this movie even more for the pompous attitude it seems to attract "Its about Ego, Ego is the mind killer" Good grief, its like a child discovering a new word, just saying it on loop with a big cheesy a grin smacked all over their face, big glossy eyes looking for praise. Well done you, aren't you a clever sausage.
Do yourself a favour, watch something else
Wonderful Days (2003)
Precitable and over-hyped
Ordinarily I wouldn't spend a great deal of time reviewing a movie, but the amount of hype and bragging that was contained in the DVD pamphlet taunted me into doing this.
If you read the DVD description it describes this as a cinematic masterpiece 7 years in the making which stands to rival Akira. Let me assure you that it doesn't. In fact to even say that is an insult to everything about Akira.
The effects are quite impressive however the animation of the actual characters leaves a lot to be desired and the story line is just about the most predictable piece of rubbish you could ever imagine.
See it if you have to but please don't waste money on this.