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Reviews
Locke & Key (2020)
Starts great then disappoints
A bit like crack, the first 6 episodes were very enjoyable. 7 had me yelling at the morons on the screen then 8 had me hoping for a change only to be infuriated again. Now I hate it but want to go back hoping the next episodes will be like it was.
In an effort to encourage producers to avoid this kind of incompetence.
The 100 (2014)
Worth yelling at the tv about?
Imagine a group of people that make the same mistake over and over again. In this ongoing frustrating saga you get to experience how drama and suspense are created by morons not doing what's required at the time.
Got a stranger walking around your ship? Let's ignore him while he gathers explosives and blows it up.
Let's take a slave, give him a gun and tell him to watch the leader that tortured him and stay calm. When his finger is on the trigger and squeezing let's not stop him. This show is getting worse every season for how stupid the decisions are. The decisions always work out though because the cast would die but each disaster created requires a bigger one to distract from it.
It could have been awesome if only someone making the show was in touch with reality.
Continuum (2012)
Like a fountain of hope
Like any fountain spraying into the air it starts off sharp and clear and coherent but as it goes it falls apart and like this series it just gets worse. Halfway through season 4 I started hoping Cameron would die and make it better. Moreover I hoped she'd get sent back to 2077 like she wants only to be captured and tortured by the COMPLETELY different timeline she'd go to where the chances of falling straight back into her old life are so remote as to be zero. She cries at the drop of a hat, loves to get the chin wobbling. She's the character that drives me insane. The others all make sense and are consistent but she's the force tearing this series apart. She's the moron at the party you want to leave.
It's a really good series of time travel and free will. Why does the main character have to be the weak point?
Occupation (2018)
Reasonable FX let down by terrible everything else
Imagine Tomorrow When The War Began (movie) but with Aliens and a nauseating amount of cringe.
Actually if you use the television series of TWTWB with Aliens you're about there.
I understand that producers have to start somewhere but Netflix is killing me with this stuff.
Tomorrow, When the War Began (2016)
Like the books but terrible
An incompetent army of what appears to be random people is on the hunt for even more incompetent kids.
Completely unrealistic, unbelievable, tactically and facepalmingly frustrating.
Opening audience of 120k dropping to 38k in 6 episodes this was doomed to fail.
This is a PG version of red dawn where the characters have the wits preschoolers.
Alien Warfare (2019)
Starts bad, ends bad, with some worse bits between
Where do you start with this? Comparing it to War if the Worlds 2 is a good start. Seen that one? DON'T!
With costumes the original Power Rangers would laugh at, weapons the Ghostbusters would laugh at and navy seals Navy Seals would cringe at. From reloading weapons with empty magazines to walking off leaving their weapons on the ground and a SEAL willing to die for a blender that, apparently, makes the best protein shakes in the world, it's impossible to take these guys seriously. The only way this could be worse would be for the disgraced brother to shag the scientist on the alien artifact. All in all fairly typical of a Netflix film made to boost their movie count leaving viewers wondering if staring at a wall would have been time better spent.
Zoo (2015)
Entertaining cringe
The storyline and idea almost make up for some woeful acting, writing and not so special effects, such as leopards growling and snarling with closed mouths and jumbo jets swooping over galloping horses.
With some strong characters making up for Jamie, who is incompetent as a human being and army rangers with the training of children.
It's a cheap incompetent version World War Z with animals.