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chrishc
Reviews
The Day Shall Come (2019)
I wish it hadn't
I think Morris is great. I love his radio 1 shows, on the hour, the day today, brass eye, jam, blue jam, four lions et al. This film was one I had to force myself to watch, despite the initial 10 minutes flashing warning lights in my brain. Some people - bands - books - films have a surge of brilliance, which is followed by meandering useless crap. Here is a good example of that. Its not funny. Its just pointless and boring. Plus some incredibly poor and cack handed acting. This is my opinion. You may think this is a fantastic film. You may not. I don't really care. Watch it and find out.
The Hateful Eight (2015)
Don't read - just watch. Or don't.
I never read someones opinions prior to watching a film since it will cloud your judgement and taint the experience.
Oddly, with Django and now this, they're two Quentin films my reaction to and feeling are sort of pretty much in a way whatever around the roundabout ho hum. I'd give it a 2.5 out of four. I loved Iain Banks, but I did not enjoy espedair street too much. I love Ben Folds Five, but their third album was so so. I loved Donnie Darko, but everything else he's made is awful. Quite why or how anyone you like is going to be non stop never endingly fantastically amazing says more about you being a crap eating fantasist than it does about they're unstoppable brilliance.
Pretty much whatever...
Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma (1975)
I don't recommend that you see this, but...
I've never seen a film which made me feel like this: disturbed; disgusted;shocked; appalled etc. I can understand its rationale - to a point. It seems to show you how people can be, and were. Along with the French Irreversible, this is a film I've meant to watch for years, but will probably never watch again. Irreversible is a brilliant film, but not something I'd advise anyone to watch. If you want to, then do. It's odd, I don't tell you to never watch it, but I don't tell you to either. I never thought I'd sit on the fence, but there you go. I found Grave of the Fireflies more upsetting, but that was in a very different way. Its still mans inhumanity to man, whichever way you spin it. I think this is the kind of film you should watch on your own. If you're with others it might affect your viewing. In some sense, I don't know what.
Monsters University (2013)
Great - but not as great as Monsters Inc.
I really enjoyed this film - but - there were a few moments where it seemed like over egging a pudding - or even scraping the barrel - almost. Monsters Inc. is my favourite pixar film - like Miyazaki - there isn't a moment where you're thinking about something else - or whats going to happen.
A prequel is a sequel so its never going to be as good as the original, but its still great.
Get Monsters Inc in the wide screen version as well, even though all of the UK DVD's are 4:3. You can get it.
Always stay till the the end of the credits with Pixar - and mostly with Disney too.
Skyfall (2012)
"The best Bond film" - er, yeah, of course it is.
I bought Skyfall in a supermarket and was looking forward to it. I usually don't like to hear lots of information about a film beforehand, and in a way I had with this. I thought it was great, and really enjoyed it up to and hour and a half in. Something about that seemed slightly odd - I anticipated what did happen - in a good way. Then, the subsequent scenes were just stupid. The entire setup before the London underground thing was slightly daft, and then
When you think about someones ability to predict and second guess (or third guess) - and it does not work - you have a problem. I like it when I see films and think "Wow! I didn't expect that!" - but holy sheet, how could anyone predict it? Its an invention which is carried away. Anyway, it was a huge downhill slide all the way to the end. *spoiler*
Is it misogynistic Bond returning? Yeah, we killed the woman, and now its all men again! Hurray! (apart from the secretary - isn't modern society brilliant?)
A Serious Man (2009)
"Their best film" - depends on whether you can see or hear
I love the Coen's. Fargo is great, Crime Wave is great. No country... is great etc
I watch a film, and usually if I hate the first ten minutes, I give it a chance to redeem itself in case the bland beginning is a trick to encapsulate your attention. I watched this film for fifty two minutes and then turned it off - because of this:
Everyone in it was a stupid, retarded, lying moron. Why would I care about any of them, or want to find out what happens or what they learn? The old saying, you made your bed, you lie in it is just what this movie says. Life can be very short, you don't know what will happen. As for that, don't waste your time watching boring crap which will teach you nothing, apart from some people are stupid and should be ignored. Hayao Miyazaki is the only film director who has made all great films. PT Anderson is great, but Hard Eight is a slight failing of his. I loved Donnie Darko, but everything else he has made is rubbish. Ditto for the Coen's making something awful. Nobody's perfect right?
Tron: Legacy (2010)
Whoa!
Hi! I'd like to welcome you into my theatre! The paradise of the strange! The retarded! This pig stupid and the deathly onerous! Would you like to part with your money so that my friends an I can laugh at you behind your back but also in front of your face? Can we do that? Will you do that? Will you? Ha ha! I am only joking, since this TRON remake is the best thing I have ever seen ever. And that is saying something. I was so excited at the beginning of it, the remarkable start, the glorious evolution of its parametric ideas that I pushed the corpse of my dead partner out of the way so I could see it clearly. Half way through it I decided to stop eating the decaying insides of my cousin to enjoy the film more. It was great. I hope you enjoy it, as much as you've enjoyed this. Well done.
Gulliver's Travels (2010)
I hope you disagree with this
Sometimes, I want to just disregard films that are rubbish, but this I can't. The positive outcome of this film is that I now hate everyone in it. If you ate a poisonous fish and you shat blood all over your dying carcass - you would still have more fun, and an enjoyable time than watching this film. Unless....unless you are a brain dead retarded twunt. Letterman - whatever his name is - everything he has made is pathetic crap, so this is the last time I will ever watch anything associated with him, as writer, producer whatever. Well done. Hurray! Right, how can I create a lengthier commentary which elongates its discussion of a piece of poo? Well, poo is often considered to be one sided, but the actuality of anal production analysis is something completely different. How much of it could you swallow? If you're suspecting a limit of two tonnes then you'd be completely wrong. But also fantastically right. Etc.
Rango (2011)
Nickleodeon are great aren't they?
When you see the turtle in his wheelchair on top of a tall wooden podium with only steep steps up to it you think - this is just a film, why would descriptive things be important, the story doesn't matter on the reality of it. Right. Then you see them all go in a tunnel and explore past something with a big eye, what is it? What's that got to do with the story? Nothing. Ha ha. Then they come out of the tunnel and then get on their 'horses', which weren't in the tunnel with them. But what has that got to do with the story? Nothing. It starts of on a freeway, and the chameleon is 'freed' - only to become part of a gang which is being ripped off and supplying water to a human city, even though they are 'animals' - which has got nothing to do with the story so why am I whining on about it? This sort of nonsense happens a lot in this film, the writing is appalling - 'everyone needs to believe in something' - well, I 'believe' this movie is a massive piece of actual crap. Hurray for rubbish! Pixars UP! a fantastic animated film, the story is amazing, this one? Pfffttt!
Sex and the City (2008)
Rich people being stupid. Who would have expected that?
People lying, being silly, being thick, being inexcusable c_nts. Fashion is exciting though isn't it? Hurray for it! Actually I am wrong, this is the best thing I have ever seen. All the time I wasn't looking at this I was rubbing animal sh1t into my eyes, so clearly, this is fantastic. To me honest, I think the TV series is a badly written piece of crap, but I did set myself aside, set my preoccupied expectations, or lack of them, to one side in the hope I might enjoy this. Why did I bother? It would have been more beneficial if I'd thrown myself into a passing car. The only down side of that is that it would have upset the driver. Perhaps.
Yeah Right! (2003)
Girl Film do it again. Incredible.
Girl's Goldfish and Mouse - ar all time classic skate movies - right up there with Unquestionable, Video Days and yes goddammit Animal Chin. Spike Jonze is on hand to lend his uniquely goofy vision - in several segments such as the lovely invisible board sequence, and a very, very funny skit starring multi nosed Owen Wilson - worth seeing for this alone - a very simple class in clever mis-direction. As for the skating...well, whaddya want? Just look at the girl team - you get it all - big and tech. If you're stunned by Rick McCranks part you're gonna go nuts for Kostons. Mike Carroll has a pretty good section here too, shame Guy Mariano could only pull one trick out of the bag.
(SPOILERS)
Yeah Right! features each team member pulling an insane trick, with the kicker ramp photoshopped out - see if you can spot them.
Worth buying without a doubt, you'd be crazy to not watch it.
28 Days Later... (2002)
15 million is NOT a low budget!
This movie was remarkably awful, I had high hopes for 28 days later - mostly based around the responses from IMDB - since I don't consider Boyle to have made a single good film. Ok, the opening scenes... well after the Shot of the Pall Mall - didn't anyone notice the black figure walking away up the hill from Jim? I burst out laughing at that point - they spend all that time and money getting a deserted London and there's some guy in the shot! How did they miss that??? Anyway I was prepared to give it a go and was quite enjoying until the daughters speech on the balcony - this was so poor, and I mean very BAD - how can a Director allow such badly delivered (and written) dialogue into his finished film? The only answer to that question I can figure is that what they don't know about directing movies you could fit in the Albert Hall - a deserted one at that.
Oh and why do people consider this movie Low Budget? 15 Million is a whopping amount for a movie. I could list all the bad things but there's no point. Bad bad bad.
Boogie Nights (1997)
PTA was what? 28!!??
This is a great sprawling movie woth a plethora of fantastic characters. Totally detached from it's sexual subject matter. Great cinematography - with some self confessed rip off's - I am Cuba being the most obvious (in the DVD commentary PTA says "we came back out of the water for some dialogue!" - he's one hell of a show off) Anyway - great dialogue, wonderful performances etc etc. One of the great movies. Period.
Hotaru no haka (1988)
this movie will floor you
I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said by the other users here. This film is remarkable. I was intrigued by the comments to the tune of 'best film i've seen and i'll never watch again' or 'amazing film, don't see it!'. But I can see their point, this film is more than just touching or upsetting, and I'm afraid I cannot articulate on what level it affects. But affect it does. Others felt that Schindlers List (who some have compared this to) was somehow more poignant because of the sheer number of lives destroyed in it. I felt that this simple story of survival said everything that could be said about War while avoiding the politics and propaganda so often associated with movies like this. That said, there are no movies like this. It is singularly beautiful and has some absolutely perfect moments. The animation of the little sister Setsuko is incredible. The English dub is also excellent. It's hard to analyse this movie in terms of it's component parts because the overall effect is so overwhelming. I'm prone to letting myself fall into a movie, but this film is something else. This should be a standard text, like the novel,Catcher in the Rye it's something everyone should experience at least once.
All the Rage (1999)
More awful than any 10 pence B movie
*contains spoilers* 'It's the Rage' came recommended to me, though god knows why. This movie was so bad it left me feeling angry; angry that I actually watched it all, and angry that such incompetent filmakers ever got the money and even the idea that this would make a good movie. What's it about? Well it's basically a cautionary tale about guns. If you didn't know guns were dangerous then this movie will educate you! It's a public service film for the mentally challenged! This movie aspires to the kind of multi character style best exemplified by Altman and latterly Paul Thomas Anderson. What it doesn't realise however, is that just having people walk past each other in video stores is not a meaningful way to link stories. There is also a cringingly cack handed scene where Jeff Daniels explains how he 'didn't get' pulp fiction. Self aware movie 'wit' at it's worst. There may be some decent acting in this movie somewhere, but the dialogue is so bad nothing can compensate. And i mean bad like it just doesn't make sense in places, the characters may as well be talking to themselves. They should show movies like this on MST3000. And to top it all off, the ending is a bastardised, unfunny Animal House list of 'where are they nows?', which try desperately to let you know what this movie was about. Not content with being awful for an hour and a half, they are patronising enough to explain to you at the end that guns are bad. Whoo-ee! 'It's the rage' sets it's sights high, but backfires and just blows up in it's face.