chruebert Reviews

Dirty Sky (2003)

This is on almost the same level as Neil Breen

[2/10 · 16 September 2020]

I hope i do not hurt any feeling there when i say this, but looking at the budget and execution of this sheer nightmare, that held a little potential in the plot just sends shivers down my spine. In the Start of this movie we get to see that Bochum looks almost as bad as Chernobyl as well as noone cared for giving us a red cord here to follow. In the few Scences that do not well connect together as the origin story is rushed in 24 minutes but does not spare us unrelated moments to the story. What is supposed to be funny seldom is and needs sounds from a cartoon to tell us this, but what is supposed to be serious just turns into funny moments because of the ridiculousness. Example: The Judge repeating herself "I'm gonna send you to prison for this" whooping 3 times and that is all we get to see from Jennys trial. On the otherhand we see in Paules trial that the actors did not carefully read the script and seem off and strech this scene with very poor word choice.

The stop-motion scene showing her crime tops it all i guess. First i checked my internet connection because it looked so cheap and filmed with an ordinary camera. Then the Scene where Paule is set free but goes back to prison for not bribing the one-dimensional cops is a few minutes long and extremly superficial. No one even bothered to film the mentioned wasps actually and you can clearly see those were a few flys.

Well i can go on all day about this movie and how every single actor failed his/her job, but then the movie got allright right in the bland middle where nothing was happening. I thought this can turn out well and even the main actors were given a bit of a better dialogue there.

NOW REAL SPOILERS

But oh noo finally they arrive in Paris and are taken in surprisingly by and aged star, which we don't get the connection there. Also the filming is the worst with roling transitions and colour fades that make this otherwise just bland movie a bit more terrible. To top it off not even a lot is happening there, but from here it slightly recovers but not much until we meet the end, that makes no sense at all. Finally you get to see where the Budget went into but it makes no freaking sense and i found myself clapping at the bad ending... oh sorry spoiler the movie has two endings and it is mostly inconsistent and stupid.

FINAL CONCLUSION

This movie is just by a margin better than Neil Breen but shows terrible execustion at almost every corner. The acting, editing, set and story is terrible i'd say makeup and camera work is okay for a movie this bad. A little less content and more or even less seriousness would have saved the movie a big deal.

Insatiable (2018–2019)

King cringe of poor scripts in high grade compression

[2/10 · 13 November 2019]

First of all... I have watched the first season fully and i had to forcefeed myself with episodes at the end. I was really eager to watch the show since i love black comedy and i am really open to new concepts. The evil ugly duckling story meets beauty pegeants? Since the trailer was good i gave it a try and i was entertained for like 8 Episodes. The characters are ridiculous beyond believe and some characters like Etta Mae were just written off the script would stilll be tolerable, if this show would not be plagued with the spirit of the time. Today everyhing must be fast consumed and it seems it is not alright to flesh out the story or give us a breather. On other shows secret love interests and death become a thing at the near end of it's lifetime is here prime directive. I start to believe even the writers were not sure if season 2 gets made but considering the push towards a dead end is so fast season 3 was not even considered possible. Actually that would not be this bad, if the show gave us what it promised: a Black-Dramedy. First of all it ain't black to beginn with, it is cringeworthy and so shallow i missed the drama. The best jokes seem to be Bobs name-roulette and the tampon pipe bomb, but those get really old fast. What else should be fun? Homoerotic jokes, exorcisms, Coralines doomed business plans or making fun of people from lower classes. Well this series is not fat shaming in the common sense it is far worse. It makes propably just a stereotypical collection of southeners all together, deadbeat fathers, trailerpark families, ridiculous religiousness, homophobia, drug abuse and the list can be extended each episode. Well Season 1 is feasable alright but then Season 2 is a Hammerpunch to your head and absurd gets a total new meaning. Final verdict: I want a refund.... of the lifetime spent on watching this.

Summer Survivors (2018)

It's the little things that matter

[10/10 · 3 May 2019]

With Summer Survivors Lithuania showed us all how well a social drama can look like and how little we need to be filled with information, in order to understand and enjoy a movie. It is a experience that does not rely on massive introduction and build up of story, rather the vivid characters deliver a reality check about acceptance and the sheer helplessness in terms of mental illness. The movie felt never like drifting off from it's premise and i had the feeling that every little conversation was a small story of itself dealing with other aspects of the society. I admire the choice of the ambiente, colouring and sound constantly underlining the moment, but the movie never feels like having gap filler scenes nor being rushed. The movie had it's own subtile humour to catch our attention, but let go of it in the right moment. The actors did a wonderful job so it never shined through it is a work of fiction. I'd challenge anyone getting expelled from the description of it to go and watch it.

Petra (I) (2018)

An unsual experience made out of an old dilema

[8/10 · 3 May 2019]

I've seen this movie as intended in spanish with the help of english subtitles. So i got the actors voice but i relied on the translators work. First of all research Jamie Rosales and his other works and you will understand that his movies are out of the ordinary and he is a excentric director leaning towards dramatic stories. His style is to show sometimes things others would feel shame in and leave things out, where other directors see profit and action.

It takes time to dive in deep into the minds of the few protagonists and yes i am glad Jamie Rosales broke the wheel of fortune here, that spins in the same ways since the begin of dramatic art. Do we have a need for characters redeeming themselfes? Is there a need for the good to prevail? Is a movie exciting that gives away so much of it's plot right before we see it? This are topics that will not be exclusively answered here but it is a start to see stories can be both strange but yet familiar.

This is not your ordinary movie and does not want our belive in mankind to be restored. As a matter of fact the movie is telling half the story and we make up the rest inbetween. Sometimes it is confusing but this movie is meant to be the experience of reading dramtic poetry for the cinema. He gives us the time to imagine things which makes Petra not such a fast paced experience and he leaves in conversations that seem useless, but any smalltalk is here to let us see how the protagonists tick. Actually there are few scenes where i wondered how it made it's way to the movie and others not but then again the overall outcome and acting is good and the way this movie is built really impresses me.

It isn't cinema for the masses or a good film to watch on the first date, but should you happen to be lost for words or like to challenge the other, then take this one.

Glass (2019)

James McAvoy rescues the title which suffers from Actor-Narration-Syndrome

[6/10 · 19 March 2019]

You can tell very quickly if a movie is being on the brink of a disaster by the times the narration of Actors on Screen is talking you out of immersion. I call it Actor-Narration-Syndrome, which means the actor is telling you what you are supposed to see with your own eyes, just in case you missed it. Sometimes it's made subtile and here it is quite obvious and in my oppinion this type of narration is dragging down any movie ever made, by actually telling the audiance it is dumb.

As we know the whole Unbreakable story is a real world Superhero-Comic and i find this idea really good in general. Also M. Night Shyamalan is the master of story telling as long as he let's us watch the things happening. That means the first half of this movie is good for this part and then we have our on Screen narrators Mr Glass, his mother, Casey and Joseph Dunn. Sure Dr Staple is just another narrator but she and her staff fit the picture as they have completely perfect fitting dialogues.

I will not reveal here any story plot, but looking at the characters you will find James McAvoys acting really good and he is really favoured by the plot. Also Bruce Willis/David Dunn did get a fair share but i believe he was written way too passive, more accepting already that he was taking into an asylum without his consent. I found Joseph on the other hand good at the start but then a bit meh. The build up of mr Glass was really good but totally crashed towards the end with too much narration (scenes in the trailer), while i think the story was actually good enough to reach a rating of 8. At the end a bit of a narration from off-screen could have helped better to get the picture right for the audiance as well as keeping out a needless cameo.

I always wondered how does David Dunn shower if it makes him collapse. :D

The Bar (2017)

Probably the funniest movie i have ever watched

[9/10 · 19 March 2019]

Actually i have not watched this movie dubbed in any kind so i watched it in spanish with english subtitles while my native language is german. The movie was presented at a independend movie festival and as i happen to know the audiance quite a bit from the parties afterwards i can say it is quite a critical audiance, that likes to watch difficult movies and knows a lot more than me about movies in general. Nevertheless it is rare to go to comedies there and even rarer that the whole audiance bursts out laughing there thorughout the movie. I can say i have not even been to many stand up comedies which where so well received, so i am sure if you are looking for a grim horror movie or a light-hearted comedy, you will surely be dissapointed.

As a little side information the actors in this movie are of the elite of spanish cinema and they do not take themselfes to much serious, which adds a nice touch. The characters are fully mixed and the movie does not fail to surprise a lot throughout the plot. If you like to piece in your head the story together, how it will continue, this movie will give you a slap every 15 minutes.

If you found Shaun of the Dead to be good entertainment, then i urge you to watch this and i even found this one a bit more funny and thrilling.

The Girl from the Song (2017)

When adverts become movies

[3/10 · 19 March 2019]

My best friend says it is impossible to watch movies with me, because i am constantly nippicking and can not stop seening the wrong sides of movies. I disagree we have seen Hollywoods steady downfall for the last 10 years or so and this Flick is one of the best examples.

I really welcome ther faith of a project being shot at a live festival, as well as not the usualy cheesy love story. However this movie seems to be written by people who never were in a serious relationship and it is more shocking to see it was written by two woman. There is not enough interaction between the characters to make anything that is happening believeable and the action needed to turn foes to friends or the other way around is soo little, you'll think you had blackouts while watching the movie. Characters opinions are turned upside down so quick you can not even asume they have feelings nor a personality. Their motives are shallow and so as any human interaction there is, but don't worry 70% of all human interactions is emoting. In the second half of the film it turns into a pretentious advertisement campaign for the Burning Man Festival and it is sooo bad i finally quit ever thinking about going there.

They really missed so many spots to give Jo a bit of a depth and the scene that should be a huge turning point in the movie and supposed to be a directors bread and butter of a romantic movie. It is about 60 seconds long. If you happen to be deaf, you'll be fine watching it at the cinema and spare yourself from terrible dialogues which are mostly one liners. They've built up this mentor relation ship with the taxi driver to just give a away so much potential. They did not use the time wondering through the festival of the main char and show a bit of festival culture or make him discover the nature of his feelings for her. Gosh there were endless ways to turn this movie into a modern love story without protraying the perople as nymphomaniacs and making us even question the existance of their friendships.

Long story short... all of the human characters in this movies are a build up of stereotypes that fail either to surprise or to even understand their whereabouts. When the credit rolled i finally have seen the first movie where i absolutely hated any character in it...