kondia8 Reviews

Black Mirror: Beyond the Sea (2023) Season 6, Episode 3

Great story, mediocre ending

[8/10 · 30 June 2023]

I liked the episode despite its problems. The premise is fascinating, and if achievable, could make space travel a lot easier.

As another commenter said though, if this happened in reality wouldn't it be the opposite? Have replicas up there and real people on Earth? It would be like going to the office every day and then back home with no danger to life. Always the risk of losing the link and lose a multi-billlion dollar mission, but at least no lives would be lost.

Is their conscience transferred (in which case they could get stranded in their replica if the link is broken) or are they controlling it in real-time from their bunk (in which case they have faster than light technology)? And if they have all this technology, they are incapable of making an anatomically fully functional (sexually) replica?

I don't like how they never show ground control talking to the bereaved astronaut. Even if communication is not possible, their replica links appear to be working well, so they could just talk to him through Cliff's replica. What has happened is a devastating shock to David. Perhaps the biggest shock one can experience in their lives (wouldn't wish it to my enemy) and he is expected to just continue normally with the mission with just a little crying in the hydroponics lab? And suddenly they forget how to make replicas of the replicas, so the guy can only use his crew mate's replica? Is it Cliff's and his wife's decision to make? Shouldn't they ask mission control about something this major? Also, for a 6-year mission, I would expect there to be a bit more chemistry between the astronauts chosen. These guys appear to be strangers on the same boat. Dramatically different in character.

The biggest disappointment is the ending though really. Why would Cliff lie to David about his wife's opinion of him? Why would he make the situation worse when his body is at the mercy of David every time he is back home? You would expect him to discuss it in a civilized manner and explain why he can't use his replica anymore and that he should find purpose in the mission.

And yes, everyone thought that David would strand Cliff in space or cut his oxygen or simply kill him in some way so that he could take over his family. What does the "have a chair" gesture signify? Is there any doubt that upon his return to the ship Cliff would attempt to kill him?

65 (2023)

Disappointing

[4/10 · 8 June 2023]

I think the premise of aliens arriving on Earth during the dinosaur era is fascinating and has a lot of potential. Unfortunately, this doesn't take advantage of it.

Driver is believable in this (although at times it felt like I was actually watching Keanu Reeves) , but the girl really doesn't fit the role and is just frustrating to watch. She really did do all the stupid things needed to fill the script with action scenes.

Why would he be in normal sleep while everyone else was in cryosleep? (he's the... Driver I know, but still)

How could they have interstellar transport technology and yet not have a decent radar that can detect an asteroid field?

Why would they look anatomically exactly like modern humans?

How did the girl know he was in the quicksand?

What were those long-limbed creatures attacking them as a pack? They were definitely not any dinosaurs I've ever seen before.

How did she learn English so quickly towards the end?

If you have the technology for an escape pod like that, then surely orientation doesn't matter. Thankfully, T-Rex appears to save the day.

How do all these explosions and shots not attract more dinosaurs?

So many questions.

A bigger CGI scene at the end showing the effect of the asteroid on the planet would also have been nice.

Life (I) (2017)

A lot of wasted potential

[4/10 · 8 June 2023]

This could have been a lot better.

It all goes downhill when Ryan Reynolds' character for some reason thinks it would be a nice idea to open the hatch to save the biologist only to get himself trapped. Why the alien doesn't immediately try to eat the biologist (which would show them what it is further capable of) like it did the rat and then Reynolds is a script-writing decision. It's quite funny also how this space starfish which has no eyes and surely no higher intelligence, just snaps the sharp tool in order to pierce the glove as if it's done it many times in the past.

The whole study of the alien is unrealistic. I highly doubt space agencies and governments would just let 6 people on the ISS to perform a bunch of experiments and report back to them later. The whole testing of this huge discovery would have definitely been done with Earth control rooms having visuals and give immediate input when things go awry.

Why exactly would the Russian lady drown in her space suit doesn't make sense. The lack of communication with Earth is also very convenient. Something that has been done a million times before and shows that Hollywood has ran out of ideas, just regurgitating the same stuff again and again and again. How did the biologist not realize the alien was on his leg? The Japanese guy should have realized that he would actually be doing his daughter a favour by not running to escape and risk bringing the alien to Earth. At the same time, the alien seems to be very happy to stroll around in space and survive for a long time. Low oxygen conditions appeared to have a very slow effect on it too (if any). We saw also that fire doesn't kill it. So, the question is, why doesn't the alien just parachute to Earth? I doubt the atmosphere would do anything to it.

The ending would have been a lot better if it was a happy ending. Jylenhaal's character sacrificing himself in order to send the alien into space and away from Earth. It should have been done in a different way than the one portrayed though, because we have already seen how strong muscularly the alien is. So what exactly made them think that he could overpower it at controlling the joystick in the narrow compounds of the pod?

Yet another movie that in the end doesn't make sense. I'm willing to suspend disbelief a little bit, but this is asking for too much.

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

Great movie. The only thing missing...

[9/10 · 17 April 2023]

...was a twist. It would have been a 10/10 then.

Very tense movie. Some things like the news channel receiving footage of the tsunami, people not immediately reacting to the tsunami, and of course actually showing that footage on live TV could have been handled better. As well as the fact that they show a few seconds of a great disaster happening and then for hours have the TV switched off with no one being interested in seeing how the disaster is evolving. Of course also the four could have gone straight to the point instead of jumping around it.

But it's forgiven by me because it kept me interested till the end trying to make sense of it all and waiting for the twist.

Food Luck (2020)

Yakiniku in your face for 90min

[5/10 · 29 August 2021]

I watched this movie on the on-board entertainment while flying over the Atlantic from Zurich to Chicago. I have an on and off relationship with learning Japanese, so I thought why not, I might pick up some words. I was seated in seat B in between two slavic gentlemen in seats A (window) and C (isle). I had requested a window seat as I always do because I like recording the view outside, but Swiss had other ideas. I got so disappointed when the gentleman in the window seat got an absolutely fantastic view of downtown Chicago during landing, and I couldn't record it. Argh!

Anyway, it was during the pandemic (and as of this writing we're still in it) and I opted not to eat the in-flight meal as I didn't want to take off my mask and eat while the two gentlemen were also eating. I don't know why three people eating within 30cm of each other is even allowed during a pandemic. I was a bit hungry, so choosing this movie might have been a mistake.

This movie is all about our two protagonists going to yakiniku restaurants. They lift the food straight into the camera and the lady protagonist absolutely loves to say "oishiiiiiii!!!" in all different manners of ecstasy. She does it multiple times in the movie. The guy protagonist on the other hand is just an iceberg. He doesn't smile once in the whole movie. Maybe he's some bad boy in Japan and was trying to preserve his image. Yes, yes, he does have some personal issues in the movie too which might explain his lack of emotion. He also pretends that cooking yakiniku is an art form and he grills it for the right amount of time then turns it around, and then again and again as if he's some sort of connoisseur. He does this four or five times in the movie. I am not totally convinced that this matters at all in the taste. Looks like a gimmick or autosuggestion.

All in all it was an ok movie to pass the time, albeit a bit repetitive in its themes.

It (I) (2017)

Underwhelming

[5/10 · 25 July 2018]

IT was underwhelming. I have not read the book and I barely remember the first movie, so I'm commenting on it as a standalone movie.

I didn't like how IT's properties are not well defined. When can he appear and when not? Why did IT rip the first child's arm off with its teeth and then later was just french kissing the Jewish child instead of instantaneously ripping its face off? Were there no other children in that town (well, there were as we saw in the school scenes)? Why did IT pick this particular gang? How is it possible that children go missing every exactly 27 years and no one but the fat kid noticed the pattern? Too much suspension of disbelief for my tastes. When the three kids entered the house, why did they wander off one by one when they knew what they were facing at this point? They're supposed to be scared. The natural response is to stick together. I hate nonsensical things like this in movies just to make for fake suspense. Since Bev was the only one willing to enter the house in the first place (did not raise her hand), why did she not go in with them? The scene were they leave one by one at the end was cringy and to Stand By Me-ish. Also, I think the fat kid had done enough in this movie to get the girl (that would have been original at least). Stutter boy was just going from one stupid decision to another the whole movie.

I also didn't like the Goonies/Stranger Things atmosphere (made stronger by one of the kids being in Stranger Things) with the cliche rural America friendships, the bikes, the token girl and the token black or asian kid. It's been overdone and I loved it at its prime when I was about that age, but it needs to go away for a while again.

Down and Out in Beverly Hills (1986)

80s-ness to the max

[10/10 · 16 June 2018]

The first time I watched this I must have been 8 or 9, and I particularly remember enjoying Carmen's scenes... I might not have understood much of the rest of the plot back then... Watching it again after 30+ years, I love its 80s-ness. The plot may not be super-complicated, but I think it criticizes very nicely, in a lighthearted way, a dysfunctional family model that is still around today and has probably always been. I enjoy watching these movies in a historic sense too. My first thought of the Union Mission scene was how everyone was just sitting waiting there without having a cell phone to play with. Or the existence of electric can openers (I have honestly never seen one of these anywhere else in my life). Or the multiple pay phones. And Richard Dreyfuss was 39 in this movie? Wow. He looks closer to 50 (it's the white hair and moustache). Lastly, sorry to read about Elizabeth Peña. 55 is definitely too young.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

I would give it a 10/10 if I watch this at 12 years of age

[7/10 · 28 April 2018]

But since I'm quite older now, I give it a 7 (closer to 6.5, but I'm willing to round up).

The visuals are spectacular. Especially planet Mul. I would watch a full movie based on planet Mul. There is a lot of imagination in this film. Far more than usually goes into American science fiction films (which like to follow a recipe). It's good to watch something different than what Hollywood serves you guys. Loved the different alien designs (particularly the ones at the beginning where first contact is shown). There is definitely a 5th element vibe in this (yes, yes, I know it's the same director) The two main actors are annoying and at times very punchable. The male actor, as many have mentioned, intentionally or not does a Keanu Reeves impression the whole movie. At the beginning of the movie the script calls for him to say that he is handsome. If he is handsome, I think I'll kill myself. The actress does a better job but she is riddled in cliches by the script. How from despising this guy, she goes on to maybe marry him at the end is beyond me. She is too often portrayed as a damsel in distress and as a subordinate (stay outside and guard the entrance, go call for help, etc., although in rank I believe she is subordinate). Rihanna was complete unnecessary, but I don't think she ruins anything. The plot quite often has no direction, and I think about 20 minutes could have been edited out of the movie and actually improve it. All in all it's an ok ride. I think people in their early teens would probably enjoy this movie the most, as the visuals would captivate them, and they are more willing to overlook plot holes.

Man of Steel (2013)

Something to pass the time, but definitely not the best Superman movie ever made (that'll be Superman II)

[5/10 · 19 October 2013]

I've given this movie a 5. I liked the acting by the more experienced members of the cast, Russel Crowe, Diane Lane and Kevin Costner. They added a lot to the whole and helped keep it just above par. I liked Henry Cavill as Superman. I hope they continue with him, but with a better script next time. The dialogues were mostly good, but there were quite a few plot holes. You know, the moments during a movie where your brain is telling you that what you are seeing is just not logical. Examples? The fact that Superman didn't help his dad in the tornado. He could just have covered him in the car. The fact that multiple people saw Superman unhurt by fire on the oil rig and then holding the whole thing so that it didn't fall on the helicopter. Same goes for him saving everyone on the bus when he was a kid. His identity surely should have been exposed far earlier. There are more. You'll find them.

I've never read the comic by the way. All I know about Superman is from the movies of the 70's-80's and particularly Superman II. It might be that I was just a child back then, with a rampant imagination, but Superman II had feeling, it had character. Zod and his two henchmen (well one was a henchwoman) in Superman II were convincingly despicable. As a child I hated them for being such bullies and I felt utter joy when Superman tricked them in the end (and I particularly liked when he broke Zod's hand, and the pain on his face, before sending him to his icy prison). I understand Man of Steel is a reboot, but it also appears to be a remake of Superman II. Zod did not convince me in this one. The henchwoman was a bit better, but still, their motives were not convincing (and definitely not canon from what I gather). Also, despite not ever reading the comic, I know that only Kryptonite can affect Superman. A change in the atmosphere can't. I also didn't like the excessive and often pointless use of CGI. Again, Superman II, with 80s's technology did this better. Finally, Superman breaking Zod's neck? That's a no no. He doesn't do these things. At least the Superman I know.

The X-Files: Lord of the Flies (2001) Season 9, Episode 5

One of the better episodes of season 9

[8/10 · 23 November 2011]

I decided to write this review when I saw other reviewers comparing this episode to "First Person Shooter". I realized I had to defend it. Contrary to "First Person Shooter" (which is indeed absolute and utter, brain-hurting rubbish), "Lord of the Flies" is in my opinion a very good episode. It reminds me a bit of the brilliant 6th season episodes that didn't take themselves too seriously. The entomologist that hits on Scully is a good touch. It's also good to see Scully participate more because up to now in season 9 she ranged from an advisory's role to an impotent person's role (which is of course totally undeserving of her). Perhaps this episode is a bit overcrowded. They should have found an excuse and left Reyes out (she isn't really needed in this episode while Doggett at least makes a few attempts at funny jokes). One thing I didn't like was how Dylan's mother took so long to talk to him about their condition. I mean... it's only the most determining aspect of their lives. But, all in all, a very entertaining episode.

The X-Files: Milagro (1999) Season 6, Episode 18

Awful episode

[1/10 · 2 October 2011]

Many spoilers are contained herein. Be aware.

This is the second episode after the 4th season episode "Never Again" (there it is, NEVER AGAIN, so why did they write this kind of rubbish YET AGAIN) where Scully is shown to be a sad creature in dire need of some attention. Also, this manages a three in a row of horribly written episodes (after "Alpha" and "Trevor") in an otherwise very enjoyable 6th season. The writer character in this episode practically confesses early on that he is the murderer or knows his identity. And yet he is not questioned immediately. Further along, the whole episode involves the writer character speaking in a slow, relaxed, novelistic tone and staring at people without again ever being confronted. What I hate most though about this episode is that although in the end it is again reinforced that Scully is secretly in love with Mulder, she is shown to knock on the door of the writer character for no strong enough reason, she goes in for coffee, she sits on the creepy guy's bed and just as she's about to spread her legs for further examination thankfully Mulder barges in with sole evidence a newspaper ad (yap, that was enough for him to make the connection). Anyway, perhaps I like Scully too much. The episode ends with no explanation as to how the ghostly Brazilian jogger managed to pull people's hearts out (yes, I know... psychic surgery, but how? and why?). To conclude, this episode was a total waste of my precious time, however I admit it fulfills the niche of a subgroup of X-files fans and (as can be seen in the other reviews here) will be found interesting/enjoyable by them.

Transformers (2007)

The Rape of the Transformers

[5/10 · 25 September 2007]

In this movie you will witness the rape of the whole Transformers concept in the name of, amongst other things, US army propaganda. After about 45min into the movie I couldn't wait for it to end. I don't know where to start. It was obvious that Shia LeGoof could not believe his luck starring in this film. Megan Fox? Pretty? Who cares? Even if she had shown skin, she would still not be worth the 7euros. Classic nerdy boy-super hot chick plot line. We've seen it before (for the past 30years actually). The marines? They should have all perished in the first 15min of the film. And please stop adding lines about freedom in movies. Americans have not tasted freedom yet. Besides Tranformers, it's another concept they haven't fully grasped yet. Secretary of Defense? Sad and pathetic. I heard they are hoping for a trilogy. If the sequel is anything like this, it is going to be a flop. I sincerely hope they lose serious money in 2009. It's a shame IMDb does not allow half marks. This movie is a 4.5/10. However, if you take away the first 45min or so and the at times excellent visual effects, it would barely reach 2/10 in my books. Every Transformers fan should get their hands on this movie, so that they don't pay hard-earned money when the sequel comes out. You have been warned!

Sirens in the Aegean (2005)

Good script beats special effects any time

[8/10 · 15 April 2006]

I wasn't expecting much from this movie. I had heard a lot of positive comments from people who had seen it (some of them twice). Most of the recent Greek films that have come out were a total waste of my time. This one was different. It was funny in a continuous smile kind of way, but there were also moments were it totally cracked me up. The characters are diverse (with the gay soldier and the soldier from Crete producing some of the most hilarious moments). I also liked the fact that the movie tries in a very subtle way to convey certain messages (mainly that Greeks and Turks have more in common than they'd like to confess). I think people of Turkish descent will also find this movie enjoyable. All in all quite a good movie. It goes to show that you don't need special effects if you have good dialogues and scenario.

Snatch (2000)

Without being inco-f***ing-spicuous ,WATCH THIS FILM!!

[9/10 · 16 April 2001]

I was afraid that the British humour in this movie would annoy me and bore me to death. However, I was surprised to discover that this is actually an extremely entertaining film. Some of the quotes I heard in it still linger in my mind. Especially the one where Brick-Top says inco-f***ing-spicuous. Hilarious!! This is the best European film I have seen since the German : Lola Rennt. It was also the first time I saw Vinnie Jones in any film and I have to say that he should never have bothered with football and should have taken up acting from the very beginning. If you don't see this film I can't say that you have missed the experience of a lifetime but you sure have missed out on 90 minutes of trully excellent entertainment!! (8.5/10)

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

I'm gob-smacked!!!

[10/10 · 15 December 2000]

I had never heard of this movie.I missed it when it came out in theatres.But fortunately it was my destiny not to miss it.It is amazing!It has absolutely no "leaks",no parts in the plotline where you say "hey,something's wrong here".Freeman and Robbins give an excellent performance. It is one of the very few Hollywood movies I've seen,which actually contains large quantities of drama and feeling.Don't miss this movie,cause if you do you've lost one of the best experiences of your life