archyon Reviews

Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)

A comical masterpiece

[10/10 · 10 March 2001]

This genius working product of the meeting of comical genius Mel Brooks (Young Frankenstein, High Anxiety, Men in Tights) and, once again, comical genius Leslie Nielsen (Naked Gun, Spy Hard), creates a comical masterpiece. Highlights include the WONDERFUL dancing scene and the hypnosis scene.

A must watch for all.

Starye klyachi (2000)

ABSOLUTE GARBAGE!!!

[31 December 2000]

My god. I can't imagine a movie with a basically cute plot (an aging woman is driven - cheated, actually - out of her apartment and her friends try to help her out - that's in a nutshell) being driven to the point of absolute... garbage.

Not a single funny joke (except a few good gags by the Jewish mother of Kartzev's character, the theatre director), lousy music and basically boring movie that has too much not-needed footage. Could be made into a forty minute short movie and look much better.

Anyway, don't waste your time on this. Watch another movie by Razanov, "Watch the Car" or another great movie, "Day of Victory" (with Vyacheslav Tichonov and Michail Efremov). DOn't waste your time on this one.

Citizen Kane (1941)

My "other" best movie ever

[10/10 · 17 October 2000]

This movie is one of the peaks of cinematography, a brilliant creation, a masterpiece beyond human understanding. In my list, this movie shares the first place with Godfather I, and I still do not love Citizen Kane as much as I do Godfather I, but then again, I love them on different levels. I am a fan of Godfather I. I know every little bit of trivia, I'm a fan of each actor, I have the three movies of VHS in a special version with interviews with the cast and crew and the such. Citizen Kane is just, in my book, a brilliant masterpiece that I watch whenever I get the chance. If you haven't seen it yet, you are missing half of motion picture history. If you have seen it, watch it again for you will only enjoy it more the other time. Welles's best work, topping The Magnificent Ambersons in my book, and a sheer piece of genius that will never be forgotten. If anyone will ever ask me to make a time capsule (and they do it every other day, of course), two ingredients inside will definetely be videos of Godfather I and Citizen Kane. A movie that has been considered a classic for almost 60 years and I'm certain it will last for another 60 (and more).

Natural Born Killers (1994)

Obviously good script mis-directed by Stone

[6/10 · 16 October 2000]

Don't get me wrong because of the one-line summary. I think Stone is a very good overall director (Platoon comes to mind), but Natural Born Killers is his all-time worse movie.

It's not that I mind extreme violence. I'm a giant fan of Tarantino, and his script on the movie is obviously intelligent and witty. When it comes to the script, this movie is absolutely fine. But when it comes to the directing...

I don't know what happened to Stone when he directed it. Maybe he was half-asleep, in a bad mood or just was tempted by the devil. But anyway, this movie has been turned by his inept direction into a juggernaut. A sinking juggernaut.

The switches of color to black and white, the insane delusions, the below average soundtrack, the twisted colors, the worst joke ever in a movie - the absolutely stupid sitcom spoof, which is dumber then "Plan 9 from Outer Space", which does make you crack in laughter - but because you are laughing at the director's stupidity.

Once again, Stone is a great director. But I don't know what happened to him.

P.S. If Tarantino would have directed it, it would surely be a masterpiece. I ranked it 6 because of the great script and solid performances.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

Frighteningly hilarious

[10/10 · 14 October 2000]

This movie is possibly the best comedy ever made, only with one fact against it: it's not very "comical". Hilarious? Yes. Comical? Absolutely not. The horrors of the nuclear war caused by a simple mistake materialize before us, directed with skill by the late maestro, Kubrick.

There are simply not enough words to describe Peter Sellers's BRILLIANT performance in three roles: A british officer, the U.S president and Dr. Strangelove. He is hilarious as the british officer, with his wonderful accent, gloomy and neurotic as the president and simply insane as Dr. Strangelove.

Also note that this movie includes a performance by very young James Earl Jones, who we now all know as the voice behind Darth Vader.

The ending scene is also a masterpiece.

Fight Club (1999)

It doesn't get any better then this.

[10/10 · 13 October 2000]

David Fincher has marked himself as one of the most original directors in the field after the brilliant Se7en and the intriguing The Game. I must admit that I see Fincher, not Tarantino as the young Stanley Kubrick. This is not to imply that I dislike Tarantino - he stands fourth in my list of ten favorite directors, beating Fincher by three places. But Fincher's dark style, his obsession with the darkest areas of society and psychology place him inside the field of the brilliant Kubrick (who takes #1 in my favorite directors list, by the way).

But enough on the directors - on to the movie Fight Club. The true best movie of 1999 (not the weak, overblown, pseudo-intelligent movie like American Beauty), it features energetic performances by Brad Pitt, who may yet redeem himself of his "pretty boy" days (he he did it once with Se7en; now I truly consider him to be a talented actor), and of course, one of the best American actors, and the best of the young American actors, Edward Norton. Norton is still not Pacino or De Niro, but give him time to become 40 - with such great movies in his pack as Primal Fear and American History X, and now this masterpiece, he still has a great future ahead. And last Helena Boham Carter - except Fight Club, I haven't seen a single movie with her, and as I understood it, I haven't missed much. She may not give such an outstanding performance such as Norton or Pitt, but in the role of Marla she while not amazing, but definetely satifying.

The movie starts off with an original credits sequence, designed as a brain fly-through (you have to see it to appreciate) and jumps, head first, into what is Fight Club. As of right now, I WARN YOU:

SPOILERS!!! THE FOLLOWING SECTION OF THE REVIEW IS ONLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE OR FOR THOSE WHO WOULD SPOIL THE MOVIE FOR THEMSELVES (BIGGEST MISTAKE OF THEIR LIVES, BY THE WAY)

I have not read Palahniunk's (I think I mispelled his name, but what the heck) novel, so I will comment on the script. The script does excellent job, especially with those little details that become much more obvious when we learn that Tyler does not exist and is only the fruit of Jack's insanity. For example, once we see, in Jack's revelation scene, how he was fighting himself in the parking lot, we understand such a line as "For some reason, I though of my first fight with Tyler" in the scene where Jack beats himself up in the boss's office (as he crashes on the cabinet). Or why Marla was upset at Jack when he ignored her at the first scene when she comes to his house.

This movie is definetely worth a second view (at least). Of course, this movie is not recommended for those of you who are weak of stomach (don't like to see close-ups of a man gets his face re-organized), or for those who are afraid to discover something new and unpleasant about themselves. I have recommended this movie to all of my friends, to my entire class in fact, and only a few have liked it. Why? Because most are afraid of the dark message this movie gives us. About the necessity of confronting our own demons before they grow to consume us. About our ignorant, blind-at-will, consumer society. About us. About the things we don't want to know.

For you worried parents: if you are so worried that your child will see blood and gore, then please understand that he must see this movie. The movie that truly will cause him to think about the true essence of blind violence. Trust me on the fact that it is less gory then (pathetic) movies like "Scream", simply because of the deep thought that lies behind the bare knuckles.