anderst2 Reviews

Cradle of Fear (2001 Video)

Suprisingly Good...

[17 April 2003]

...for a bad horror movie. Well it easy to say that this is a horrobly bad horror movie, but I really can't. It do have bad acting, terrible and easy to spot effects, not much of a story, but even if the movie is 40 minutes too long, it didn't feel like it, and it was fun. You could see that the makers made it for fun, and that they didn't care to try and hide the bad effects, they used it in stead, like when "The Man" stabs a cat to death, you could almost see the price tag of the puppet.

But the whole thing game of as fun, just as this kind of movies should be, fun. And it does have all, bad acting, lousy story, lots of blood, nudity and not much talent. Just pure fun.

But in all this, fun, there is one thing I didn't like, and many people won't know this, in the last "episode", at the Free Surfe, offices, the character Richard Neilson, had a video clip on his computer, of a guy that get stabbed in his throat. This clip was for me over the line, not because it was nasty, but because it is real, this clip can be found on the net, and it a genuine snuff clip, filmed in Russia. You can kill and mutulate as many as you want on film for my part, because it all i make believe, but real stuff crosses a line, and I didn't like that they put this in the movie.

But the rest was fun. Real movie: 1/10, campy horror movie: 8/10

Cube²: Hypercube (2002)

Make number 1 even better

[12 April 2003]

Had some anticipation about this movie, and after reading something over at aintitcoolnews.com, I thought this might be a good movie. But sometimes (or almost always) it's true that the sequel is worse then the first one, and this is another proof of that. And while you watch it, the only thing you can think of is: just how good the original was.

In this movie, it almost like they have seen the first movie, because that almost instantly know whats going on. But the thing the movie suffers from most, is a director that don't know how to tell the story right, he takes to much use of effects, than actors and you know really cares for any of the characters as you did in the first movie.

3/10

The Weight of Water (2000)

Good Story, But Not Such a Good Movie

[8 March 2003]

The Movie had most of it going for it, an interesting story, a great director (one of my favorites) and good actors (not counting Elizabeth Hurley). But the question that comes to my mind is: Has Kathryn Bigelow lost it, from making for great movies in a row, too her two most recent flopps.

This is the woman that showed us that what you need to make movies, is a brain, not balls, and has time and time again showed us that she can make amazing movies out of good scripts. "Near Dark" IS one of the absolute best horror movies ever made, with it's eery style and presense. And "Strange Days" one of the best contemporary sci-fi movies ever. And from scripts that most director would have made plain and un-interesting movies, she made great ones, "Point Break" is a stylish action movie and "Blue Steel", a thriller with real suspence and empotion.

The next part contains a few minor SPOILERS!

But as she showed with "K-19" ("The Weight of Water" was released widely after "K-19" but made two years earlier), she don't use her typical style anymore, and maybe that actors and the producers of "K-19" had to much to say in it, but this movie could have been one of her best, but it's just so utterly booring. You know way before the guys on screen what happened, and it takes too long from you know, untill they know.

But there are something good here to, the editing is superb, the cutting between past and present is just perfect, specially at the end, during the storm, and the scenes with Catherine McCormanck underwater is great.

SPOILER END!

The actors does a good job, Catherine McCormack is best, and Sean Penn is as normal good, but it's not his best part. Josh Lucas is good, but as Elizabeth Hurley is good as eye candy for Sean, she can't really sell that she knows poetry, it's just not her. Sarah Polley is ok, but as the rest of the 1878 scenes, the accent is bad, it's typical Hollywood; in stead of letting the immigrants speak they're native language between themselves, they speak with an accent, and it sound bad.

I can deside if I want do give this movie 4 or 5 stars (of 10), but it might become better with more viewings, as most of Bigelows movies does.

Half Past Dead (2002)

Pathetic

[28 February 2003]

This is one of the worst movies from Steven Seagal, personally I like him, his not a great actor, Arnie is better, but he has a calm over him, and an cool fighting technic, but here he don't uses it, the fighting is left for Ja Rule, and he CAN'T fight, and he's even worse in the acting department, and he tries to act as cool as he can, it's pathetic

The whole movie is filled with unbelievable bad dialog, just check out when the Feds first make contact with the terrorists, the first the womans says is "Didn't your mother lover you enought", and tries to be so cool, it horrific, and this goes on from almost all of the actors, only one that comes from it ok is, Nia Peebles, she don't act much, but the fighting is actually good.

The director has clearly watched a ton of movies, and instead of learning from them he steals the things he thought was cool, and he can't ever decide if the movie is a plain action movie, or one with a lot of camera style, just check out after the terrorist team lands, and Nia Peebles character turns around and her coath flies around, it just idiotic, and there is not any type of that shot again in the movie.

2/10

Son of the Beach (2000–2002)

One of the Worst

[22 February 2003]

This truly is one bad show, and so unnessesary, you don't need a parody on shows like "Baywatch" and "Pasific Blue", they are a parody in them self. And it doesn't make it any better that the actors are totally talentless, and can make you laugh if their lives depended on it. For a sit-com to work, you need a talented comedian, and a talented comedian is a good actor. This show has nothing that come close.

The Last House on the Left (1972)

Not among the best

[15 February 2003]

This movie isn't one of the best horror films I have seen. Not that I would call it a horror movie, more of a thriller. What makes if hard to take is that it's based on a true story, but I have seen them made better before. The musics bad, too cheeky, the actings ok, but nothing more.

The next bit contains SPOILERS

While I'm viewing it, some things got me thinking, why didn't Mari run, when just the junkie was left to hard her, or why didn't she run after the rape, it just felt stupid.

An what's with the title, "The Last House on the Left", one thing, the road didn't end, it kept going, and the house was on the right side of the road (from the way the killers came driving.

And the most uncomprehendable was, if the mother was going to hurt the guy, why did she put the dick in her mouth, it's ok that she bit it of, but I don't think that would be the first thing to do.

3 out of 10 (and thats for the chainsaw)

Sex and Lucía (2001)

Another Masterful Film by Julio Medem

[7 December 2002]

Julio Medem has in my eyes never made a bad movie, everything he makes is interesting and skillfully made. And this, his most recent, might be the best to this date.

The story is not as hard to follow, as I got the impression of from a few reviews, but it can be hard to follow. But it's a great film in the tradition of David Lynch, and it can be compared to "Mulholland Dr.".

The action is good, but it's Julio Medems visual style that stands out, how he uses the camera and light to tell so much of the story, and the cutting of the movie is amazing.

In my eyes Julio Medem is much greater than Pedro Almodovar, much because of the visual style, but also his ability to tell complex stories, like all his movies are.

9/10

Unbreakable (2000)

Close to Perfect

[9/10 · 19 October 2002]

This is one of the few movies that come close to being perfect. It has an amazing story to tell, but it's the sort of movie you get more out of the first time by NOT knowing much about it, I didn't and it took me by surprise. If you might think you want to see it, don't read any more, just see it, for the rest of this text might contain spoilers.

This movie is far superior to M. Night Shayamalan's breakthrough film "The Sixth Sense", because where "The Sixth Sense" is a movie that looses it shock effect after the first viewing, "Unbreakable" is a movie that should have to be watched over and over, and it even getting better. This movie is a perfect exsample of the impact Steven Spielberg has had on the up-coming generation of film-makers, you can clearly see that Shayamalan has taken Spielbergs understated cinematography and uses it to perfection, look at the three sequences, 1-where Elijah get his comic book, how the camera follows it, 2-when David works out, and 3-when David carries Audrey back into their releationship. It sets the mood, and it's perfect. All the way through Shayamalan uses this understated cinematography to get us into the story and to get us to feel how the characters feel. And maybe the one with the biggest impact, where David rises from the swimming pool, the pictures tells the story.

In a few years, this is the movie that M. Night Shayamalan is gonna be remembered for, not "The Sixth Sense" or "Signs", this is the one. The only thing that holds it from being perfect is that many will be thrown of by the slow-paced and un-conventional story of a Superhero to be, this is not like any "Superman" or "Spider-Man" movie, this is real.

This is a Masterpiece, and it's totally "Unbreakable".

11/10

Caress of the Vampire 2 (1996 Video)

I had the pleasure of seeing this movie.

[1/10 · 19 July 2002]

...And I wish I never did, It came with film number 1, as a bonus movie. This an even worse movie, it's so bad, it's not even good. It's for these kind of movies they invented the fast-forward button on the remote. I couldn't get any story out of this, only the worst actors ever to do a movie, running around in bad costumes, and the girls taking them off, the first film had actually production value of a high-cost Hollywood movie compared to this, just some teens with a home-video camera. It's soft-porn, almost without bare-skin. -10 out of 10

Blue Velvet (1986)

Welcome to LYNCHland

[7/10 · 17 June 2002]

One of David Lynch best movies, even if it's a typical Lynch movie, it's not as unapproachable as his 2001 MASTERPIECE "Mulholland Dr.", still it has many of its qualities. A strong but mysterious storyline, good action, and it's special mood.

Both Kyle "Dale Cooper" MacLachlan and specially Dennis Hopper give great preformances, Hopper in maybe his most memorable. Laura Dern also give a good role. But Isabella Rossellini stinks up every scene she's in, the woman can't show any feelings, look at the scene in the car at night, when Hopper is beating ut MacLachlan, and watch her reactions, I'm laughing, it almost ruins the hole movie.

The Abyss (1989)

An Underrated Masterpiece

[10/10 · 7 June 2002]

This is on of my Top 10 favorite movies of all time, I loved it from the first time, and it's only getting better. This is James Cameron on top, as he has been throught his whole carrer.

The movie has everything, great story, great suspence, emotion, excitement, and superb action the whole cast. If this had been a little more successful at the boxoffice, Ed Harris would have gotten an Oscar nomination, and I thing Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio would have too.

And this movie also offers something no other movie does, two versions, one high-octane roller-coaster thrill ride (Theatrical Cut) and one which adds dept and character, a version when you want to get touched by a movie (Special Edition).

La Belle Noiseuse (1991)

Beautiful French Cinema about Art and Jealousy

[8/10 · 25 May 2002]

One of the many beautiful movies that have come from France. But this is not a film for all. The acting is great, and so is the story, but many may think it's to long, with a running time of 4 hours, but for me it never gets boring. Over half of the movie is about the painting process, and it shows how painful creating can be, both for the artist and the model, the scenes between Michel Piccoli and Emmanuelle Bèart are magnificent.

The story is great, as it follows three relationships, one between the painter and his model, the second between the painter and his former model/now wife (and her jealousy towards the new model), and the third between the model and her boyfriend.

The basic story is, a young couple meets and elderly painter, that for years have had a painting block, but finds new inspiration from the young woman, this upsetts his wife, who has been his only model for years.

A true masterpiece. 10/10

I Am Dina (2002)

Everything about this movie is BAD

[4 May 2002]

This is a truly typical norwegian movie, the english dialog is unbelievably bad, quite cheesy, even I could have written it better (Original dialog: "Then my momma left me", My dialog: "Then my mother left me"), the script writers seems to have a crash-course in english, they even pronounce town names in norwegian so it sound laughable. The acting is terrible, even from good actors.

It's the first time I have ever left a screening before the movie ended, it's one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and I see tons of movies.

Insomnia (1997)

One of few, a real Norwegian movie

[9/10 · 4 May 2002]

This is one of a few good Norwegian movies ever made. And it's a non-typical one as well, there's no cheesy dialog, no theater-acting and no-overly beautiful scenery.

The director, Erik Skjoldbærg, has managed to make an interesting movie, he have gotten the actors to play real, and not as if they were in a theater play, which often happens in Norway, and ruins almost all movies. It all feels real, and that makes the hole movie more suspenseful and frighening. The cinematography is one of the best I've seen from Norway, and it doesn't use the nature as most movies does, it uses the actors.

Stellan Skarsgård makes a masterful preformance, and keeps suprising throughout, as the midnight sun tears on his character you can truly see it in his eyes. And the rest of the cast is superb.

This is one of the absolute best live action feature movies from Norway, together with "Orions Belt" (1985) and "Nine Lives" (1959, Oscar Nominated). The best film from Norway is "Flåtklypa Grand Prix" (1975) and it's a puppet movie, that says the most of the Norwegian movie industry.

10 of 10

The Hole (2001)

Good, but could have been great

[27 April 2002]

This might contain SPOILERS.

The movie is good, and works on many levels, but with some changes I believe it could have been a great movie. If the had dropped the jumping back and forward in the story, and instead only followed the teens inside the hole.

The film than could have been a real psycho-thriller, but instead they show you that Liz survives and you never really feels any threat after that.

On the acting: Thora Birch does a good job, but she's no great actress, and I would like to see other actors in the other teen roles, actors that has more talent.

But all this aside, the movie is enjoyable, there's a little nerve in it, but if you feel like you missing something extra here, watch "Cube", and you will get it.

At the end I would like to say that this is one of the few movies I wished was non-english, so it might have gotten a remake

America 3000 (1986)

As bad as nobody could imagin

[1/10 · 23 February 2002]

This movie is terrible, you can't even compare this with a Ed Wood movie, because Ed Wood didn't have money, this did, and Ed Wood didn't know what he was doing, Here they think they know.

this might contain SPOILERS

This movie tries to be a big blockbuster, it looks like they were trying to make one, but with a cast as terrible as this, nothing can get right. All the women looks like they're from playboy, with tons of hairspray and makeup, and acting like s***, the men ain't any better. But as you watch the movie you can see the movie trying to get better, the makers trow in a (clearly a Chewbacca ripoff) troll like character, and you'll laugh your ass off.

This movie ripsoff "Planet of the Apes" (1968) big time, exspecially with the nuclear sone, and finding thing from the past. Everything you see in here is made with the best intentions, but without talent.

The terrible editing of the picture makes the action scenes look stupid, at the end battle, look for the guy who is going to jump on a female rider, the horse is miles away before he jumps, and suddenly he hits her.

I give this as a movie 1/10, but you'll laugh all the time, and as a turky this is a 10/10. This is so bad it don't qualify for the Razzie Awards.

Bully (2001)

Shocking story

[27 January 2002]

I saw this movie today and it shocked me, and I watch a lot of movie, and seldomly something shocks me, but this one did. This portraits the life of a few young kids, and their uncaring lives. THIS NEXT SEGMENT CONTAINS SPOILERS. Their raw and careless use of drugs, unprotected sex, with Larry Clark again shows us in a way parent won't like. But the one thing that shocked me the most was the brutal murder of Bobby Kent, the graphic slaughter that he went through.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE THE SEE THIS MOVIE, AND DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE END DON'T READ FURTHER.

But what really game me a punch in the stomach, what that on the end credits it said that this was a True Story, and that I didn't know this while watching it, and it just made the movie more shocking, and important to tell, what would have happened if Martys parents had listened to him, and followed up that he wanted to move, and get away from Bobby, 8 lives would have been saved (1 dead, 7 in prison).

A Story About Love (1995)

Just like the Norwegian movie industri

[1/10 · 8 December 2001]

"Dis" might be the worst Norwegian movie ever made, (it have some really hard competition), but at the same time it have something else, it was a box office smash hit, not for the movie, but for the laughs, if I remember correctly, over 300,000 Norwegians watched this movie at the cinemas, and that more then the avarege movie here gets, it packed full houses for weeks.

The Gift of Love (1994 TV Movie)

Ok TV movie, great work by Olivia

[3 November 2001]

"Gift of Love" is just an ok made for TV movie, just like every other TV movie. But what saved this was the great acting by Olivia Burnette, she played the part of Louise perfect. Sadly shes haven't gotten the great movies she should have.

The Postman (1997)

Kevin Costners Triumph

[8/10 · 4 September 2000]

Warning: If you haven't seen the movie, this comment might spoil the ending, but I recommend you read this before watching, you might enjoy the movie more!

Many people thinks this is a very bad movie. But I think this is the perfect movie to see what a great director can do with the worst script of the 90's. I think Kevin Costner did one hell of a job, transforming Brian Helgeland's terrible screenplay, Kevin made an epic tale (not the length) of a postmans resurrection of a nation, Kevin took the screenplay with it's bad dialog, bad story, and made it into one hell of a ride, from the perfect cinematography, James Newton Howard's powerful score, and a cast that does a great job delivering the bad dialog.

Schindler's List (1993)

Thank you STEVEN SPIELBERG

[10/10 · 4 September 2000]

With this comment I just want to say thank you to STEVEN SPIELBERG, for making the most important(and best) movie in film history. Keep up the good work. We need more films of this character, films that give us a accurate description of history, tells us what we need to know, and help prevent things like this ever happening again. Thank you.