meyster7 Reviews

Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story (2005 Video)

Watch it for what it is... one liners with a with a sub plot.

[10/10 · 28 September 2005]

I have no idea why an enormous bunch of Family Guy lovers are disappointed with this movie. The movie is just like the show. It's a bunch of one liners with the plot taking backseat to these amazingly written one liners.

Many people in the boards are saying don't put a 10 down because no movie deserves a 10. It's not about comparing it to the Godfather like some people have written, its about the value of how you view the movie in your opinion.

Why buy it? Why watch it? because you want to laugh at what Family Guy does best... roll toilet humor and super highbrow into a small plot that doesn't matter in the end.

This movie is laced with extremely funny references, and lowbrow and highbrow humor. If your looking for more of a story line, watch the simpsons, if your looking complete insanity, watch South Park.

Shoes Off! (1998)

those black boots

[9/10 · 1 June 2004]

There is something irresistibly sexy about black boots. And the director/writer of this film knew that those boots would tell a thousand words when he wrote his minimal dialog film.

It's the story about a man who goes on a journey to work up the nerve to live dangerously in his mundane life. When he finally decides to go for it... he gets the girl of his dreams as a reward.

The music really set the mood for the film. With not a word uttered until the last third of the film, it keeps your interest all the way along. There is nothing like a woman in black boots. And Deanna Milligan wears them as sexy as they can possibly get.

A delight to watch, and maturely shot. This is a must see for short film watchers.

The Girl Next Door (2004)

It doesn't matter if it was bad or good

[7/10 · 14 April 2004]

The fact that Goddess Cuthbert is in the movie makes it watchable. Have you seen her? She deserves an oscar just for the way she looks on the poster let alone anything else she was wearing in that movie.

Al Pacino's performance in The Godfather: Part II is the only thing that rivals her beauty. Every other girl looks like Carlos the Jackal comparatively.

The Academy should have "The Cuthbert Award" just to give to someone that can look as good as she can.

5 starts out of 5 for casting Goddess Cuthbert. She is the prettiest person on the planet.

Our Very First Sex Tape (2003 Video)

superstar acting from a superstar alum

[9/10 · 31 December 2003]

Elaine Hendrix is surprisingly spectacular and sexy in this short film about a couple making their first sex tape. When things start to go horribly wrong right from the beginning, a whirlwind of insults continue to the surprise ending that will leave you with a smile.

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Pearl Harbor - Based on a false story

[1/10 · 28 May 2001]

What a big waste of time this movie was. If someone is going to make a movie about true war events, how about doing some research about what actually happened??? Also, when I go see a WAR movie that is supposed to be about an attack on Pearl Harbor, I don't need a 3 hour love story to screw it up. Why in the world did we need this fake and hokey love triangle to move this drawn out movie along? Josh Harnett isn't even worth being on a mediocre soap opera let alone being the next action hero of Hollywood. Hey Josh, whats your number I want my money back for spending student admission on your "Keanu like" drivel. You'll see in the few comments before this one how inaccurate the movie was and it's not worth repeating what most intellects know about the facts of the Pearl Harbor invasion. Even if the battle on the screen was on real time it was still about 20 minutes too long. The real attack was an in and out procedure... while watching this drawn out attack I figured might as well show us the whole war taking place... who cares? you'll be asleep by then anyway. Anyway, if you like to throw away money or like watching total garbage pile up til you feel like you should kill yourself, go see it.

Scarecrow (1973)

Acting doesn't get better than Pacino and Hackman.

[10/10 · 25 April 2001]

One of the most overlooked films in the history of cinema is 1973's "Scarecrow" starring a newly discovered Al Pacino, and Gene Hackman (which he calls his favorite piece of work).

The story is about two men, Francis-Lionel and Max. They befriend each other while trying to hitchhike on a dusty and windy road. The plot is so simple and genuine. Max wants to go to the mid-west and start a carwash. You start to care so much for the ambition the both of them carry.

You are taken on a wonderful trip through two of the most talented actors this world will ever see. There is one scene in a department store (which i won't give away) that is so priceless you'll want to rewind it and watch it again and again.

Unamazed to me, "Scarecrow" won Best Picture at the Cannes Film Festival and to this day I haven't scene two actors so natural in their characters. Pacino's performance in the ending scenes (especially at the big fountain) is breathtaking.

This film is above giving it a rating. It is a classic, and you can't put a rating on a masterpiece.

15 Minutes (2001)

I should have left 15 minutes into the movie...

[1/10 · 15 March 2001]

The movie's plot at the start was predictable but good, and fast paced. Then after a not so good move a few scenes into the movie there was a bit of a tragedy. A total plot change which sent the movie downhill from there. It starts out with a great chase game between Robert De Niro's character and the too European psychos. After a key killing the story moved into a silly documentary style format for the Russian camera holder. Just for your benefit... go see Hannibal twice if your going to spend the money.