mikey1969 Reviews

Sin City (2005)

Wow! Comics done right...

[8/10 · 18 March 2005]

Went to a sneak preview of this movie today, and I was blown away. Over the years people have tried to emulate the feel of comics on the screen, and met with mild success(Dick Tracy), minor failure(Hulk), and solid success(Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow). This is hard to do, but Sin City hits this dead on. The film is entirely in black and white(Except for about 20 seconds that I noticed in one scene.), except for highlights of color(Gorgeous eyes, splattered blood, and red Converse All-Stars to name a few.). This gives the film a feel that immerses you into the storyline. Add to this the overly corny duologue and scenes where scantily(And I DO mean scantily) clad women pull Uzi's out of literally nowhere, and you have all the right makings for a transfer of a comic book to the screen. The duologue had me laughing almost constantly, but it's easy to tell that they wanted you to laugh, even when they lines were incredibly corny and melodramatic...

The performances in the movie were great as well. I believe my favorite male character was Marv, played by Micky Rourke, and my favorite female character was definitely Miho, played by Devon Aoki. It seems that everyone and their dog was either in this movie, or lent some of their talents to it, and it shows.

I would definitely suggest that you see this in the theatre the very first time, because it will NEVER have the same impact on your TV at home as it does on a 30-foot screen in a dark theatre. I was actually able to note a few times where the digital cameras were able to outperform anything film could do.

A lot of violence in this movie, although most of it is either totally cartoon-style, or off camera, and some gore as well... A good amount of nudity in the film, ALL of it on camera, so you'll probably want to leave the kiddies at home.

All in all, one of the best movies I have seen in a long time, and I'll probably go see it again while it's in the theatres, so that my fiancé can enjoy it as well...

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

So they can't ALL be hits!!!

[8/10 · 13 March 2004]

Of all the movie genres, comedy is the one that is (Ironically enough.)taken too seriously. Every once in awhile, a movie comes along that was a bomb at the box office, and appears to be a bomb among those 'in the know', and it turns out to be quite funny. IF you don't take it too seriously.

Two examples: 'KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park', and 'Howard the Duck'. Both movies are universally panned, yet turn out to be far more enjoyable than even the FIRST time I tried to sit through 'Austin Powers'. 'Ford Fairlane' is another one of these films. It will never win any awards, and I wouldn't buy the DVD for $20, but it is far more worth my admission or rental money(And my time.) than, say, 'Titanic'. This movie is full of stars, both big and small, but the cheese factor is played up in EVERY one(This may be the first movie where Wayne Newton played a cheesy music mogul with perfect teeth and no morals.). Andrew Dice Clay gets to act like himself and make fun of the 'Dice Man' persona at the same time. None of this movie is meant to be taken seriously, it's a series of sight gags and one liners.

Some of the best movie quotes came from this movie, I still hear them today, and I don't think people realize where they came from... Here are a few you might recognize(Paraphrased for space):

"Neal and Bob... Is that your names, or just what you do?" "You are ten seconds away from the most embarassing moment of your life..." "Here's to you!! Sucking my d*&%!"

Throw in running jokes like the fact that Ford NEVER gets paid in actual money(Just rock-star freebies of one kind or another, including a Koala bear from INXS, and bicycle shorts & hair extensions from Milli Vanilli.), plus the random women who slap/kiss Ford for leaving them high and dry after a night of fun, and you definitely have a movie at least worth your time...

Besides ANY movie with a car like that is at least worth watching ONCE, isn't it?

Just remember not to take things TOO seriously(You might get hurt!).

Lost in Translation (2003)

It's OK to dislike this movie

[6 March 2004]

Despite what the elitists may say, it's ok to dislike this movie. It moves slowly, sometimes the dialogue is hard to follow, and the ending just plain sux...

That said, I DID enjoy certain aspects of the film. The pacing seems torturous at first, until you realize that it is ONLY truly slow when the main characters are apart from each other, and completely miserable. As soon as they hook up, the whole film changes, only slowing down when either the characters do, or when they separate.

Visually, it was a great movie as well. There were some great shots, some nice locations, and little splashes of color when the scene would get too boring visually.

Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson played their parts well, their chemistry DID make you forget that they were merely actors reading lines from a script...

Where the movie truly disappointed was in the end(SPOILER!!). This movie just ceases to exist... NO conflicts are resolved, nothing happens. Murray whispers in Johansson's ear, and they kiss, then he heads to the airport, that's it. It's not even like they had failed to see each other 5 minutes before in the hotel lobby. Where was this movie supposed to go? What issues were resolved? Are they both going to be completely miserable in life with their current spouses? AT least if we could have HEARD what Murray said, then maybe we would have had the idea that their 'unproductive' affair would at least be a special memory between the two. Instead, we sit there wondering what one has to do to get a copy of the movie with the ending ATTACHED!

Like I said, it's ok to dislike this movie, it doesn't mean that you are less 'special' than those who can't quit falling over themselves to praise it, it just means that you have exercised your right to not enjoy it, and they can take all their comments about how 'The Fast and the Furious' might be 'more your speed', and shove 'em.

Suicide Kings (1997)

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk (Possible Spoilers)

[8/10 · 17 August 2003]

When are people going to recognize dialogue-driven movies for what they are? Christopher Walken doesn't need to be walking and moving for his character to be dynamic. Tied to a chair is just fine! Someone criticized the romance scenes in this film, all 3 minutes worth! Why do you NEED to know details about what Walken's character has done in the past? You know he's a gangster, you have all seen plenty of gangster films. We don't need backstory on this. All the backstory on the characters that is actually necessary for the story is given in the dialogue that is exchanged throughout the film. This film is not predictable in any way. Each time you think you have fingered the bad guy, you're proven wrong (This was actually very successful in Scream as well, but that is niether here nor there.). This doesn't borrow from Tarantino, as another person commented, a disjointed timeline is not exclusive to Tarantino, although he is the undisputed master of it. This movie is driven purely by dialogue, exchanges of words between people. Walken comes across as the cold-as-ice gangster, never worrying that he won't somehow get out of the mess he is in. He works on each character in his own style, and at his own pace. He plays people against each other, and gets them to admit their darkest sins. There aren't any fancy explosions, perfectly timed jokes, hilarious pratfalls, or any of the other typical tricks that Hollywood dishes out, just an intriguing storyline and some excellent casting. This movie even has a nice trick ending that is not over-explained. I would have to say that this is one of the better films I have seen, and I have no regrets owning it. P.S. I watched the two alternate endings on the DVD, the ending in the film is by far the best, the other two are sell-outs.

Lucky (2003)

I hate TV, but this has potential...

[24 June 2003]

There are very few shows out now that I watch, especially with the wave of reality TV that has taken over. I religiously watch The Simpsons, and try to catch Frasier, Just Shoot Me, and Dharma and Greg when I can. TV has nothing new to offer me, except for Lucky and Monk. Since this is a message about Lucky, I'll leave Monk alone for now. Great show though.

I happened upon Lucky one night a few weeks ago, it was a repeat of the Pilot, and I decided to give it a chance. This show is awesome. Good writing and great casting. I can only sit through so many plots of him getting in trouble with hoods, trying to leave Vegas, or blowing a fortune in no time, but other than that this show has everything going for it. I like the fact that they actually use profanity in this show. It sounds weird, but this is the way people talk, more often than saying 'Gosh' or 'Darn'. It's really hard to hate Lucky, he's just too free of a guy, he can lose 10 grand, and walk out with a smile on his face, knowing somehow he'll make it up. I do wish they'd go into more about his life after the World Series of Poker, and the Pilot episode, unless they had some flashback episodes... All in all, I'd have to say that this is a great show. It even goes so far as to have some shots that seem more like a film than a low-budget project like a television series.

The Sum of All Fears (2002)

Garbage, total sellout garbage

[1/10 · 15 June 2003]

To start with, I am a Tom Clancy fan, I have been for years. I have actually met Secret Service agents and confirmed that his info tends to be rather accurate. Jack Ryan is a great character, but this movie was junk.

When I heard this movie was coming out, I was excited. I had thoroughly enjoyed the book, and thought they couldn't possibly screw this up at all. Then I read a brief synopsis. Suddenly, in the post-9/11 era, when fanatic muslims would usually be the villain of choice, anyway, somebody decides to jump on the P.C. bandwagon, and changes the bad guys to redneck white supremacists. I was floored. I can understand rewriting certain parts of a storyline, but completely switching the polarity of the bad guys is just silly. I finally decided to see the movie when it came out on DVD, and was even more disappointed. Suddenly Jack Ryan is just starting out at the CIA as an analyst? Wasn't that back around 'Hunt For Red October'? He hasn't even gotten married yet? His wife suspecting him of cheating was a major part of the plot. How can she suspect him of cheating if she hasn't even married him yet? This story takes place AFTER 'Clear and Present Danger', yet we have all these inconsistencies? I just can't understand why this movie got such a high rating in the first place... To me, this was a sellout from the beginning, and I can't believe Clancy gave his blessing on this. If he felt that Harrison Ford was getting too old, there was much more he could have done, and still saved the integrity of the series. Ben Affleck could play a late-twenties/early-thirties hero with no problem, but instead we get an obvious 'money-grab' by hiring the young actor and playing the story to a younger crowd. Who cares that Jack Ryan met 'Mr. Clark' ages ago, and he and Ding Chavez are actually Ryan's bodyguards by this point? And by the way, how come Jack Ryan's 'wireless internet' PDA was working after 1: a nuclear blast that would have most likely caused an EMP blast knocking out such silly things as cell-phone towers?, and 2: How was it connecting to the internet with no wireless plug in card or anything to make an ordinary PDA bluetooth compatible? Personally, I would give this movie a 1.

The Big Hit (1998)

At least SOME people know fun

[12 January 2003]

OK, so this film is silly. This film is predictable. This film has no redeeming qualities(Except for the scenes featuring a Catholic School Girl Skirt!!). This film is FUN, though!! It has all the requirements. Beautiful women, major gunfights, and a freaked-out video store clerk. Too often, people think every movie that comes out needs to be Oscar material, and this one isn't, but WHO CARES??? Any film that has the movie King Kong Lives as a major gag is worth watching again and again!! I am picky about the DVD's I own, and I bought this one!

Waking Life (2001)

Longest 20 minute short I've ever seen.

[3/10 · 12 November 2001]

Jeez people, I can't belive you gave this film an average rating of 8.5!!!

This was a great short film. If this film had gone no more than maybe 45 minutes, I just might have enjoyed it. As it was, I was bored. This movie was filled with pretty much the same philosophical stuff people spout when extremely inebriated.

While some might find the animation style to be "fresh" or "unique", I just found it to be annoying. This film gave me a headache. I had to wait about 10 minutes before I could drive home after watching it, lest the cars and scenery start to jump all over the place.

The problem with indie films and foreign films is that everyone feels they have to automatically like them because it's the 'in' thing to do. You people are just as much sheep as the people who you try to look down your noses at. There is quite a bit of crap out there, and while this movie had some really good moments, it IS NOT the visionary masterpiece some people seem to think it is.

Ghostbusters (1986–1987)

This is NOT a copy!

[14 July 2001]

After reading a previous post, I feel the need to set the record straight. This is Not a rip-off of the film 'Ghostbusters', also, the naming of the cartoon did NOT force the other cartoon to be renamed 'The Real Ghostbusters'. This was a TV show that was on when I was kid in the mid-70's. I used to watch it all the time. The show starred the men from F-Troop, and was made by Filmation. Filmation still held the TV naming rights to the Ghostbusters name, so that is why the other cartoon had to be renamed. I had forgotten about this show until the cartoon came out, and everyone told me I was crazy and such a show had never existed, but I showed them who's crazy didn't I?? Hee hee, anyway, I just felt it was my duty to correct this error.

Chump Change (2000)

A Film Festival MUST!!!

[10/10 · 11 February 2001]

I just saw this movie today at the Phoenix Film Festival, and it was one of the best films featured. This was a hilarious movie, well written and well-acted. This film featured Jerry Stiller, Abe Vigoda, Tim Matheson, Anne Meara, and the writer director himself, Steven Burrows. He got up after the movie, and did a nice Q&A session, and explained that the movie was semi-autobiographical in nature. This movie was a great jab at the machine known as Hollywood, where movies deals are made without even a story or script!! Look for Traci Lords as well, in a great performance as a character nothing like some of her previous films(Cry-Baby comes to mind.). I also heard that this movie may just be making it to a theatre near you someday soon!!!

Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978 TV Movie)

This is a live-action Scooby Doo episode

[25 July 2000]

This movie is Bad.

This movie has bad special effects.

This movie makes KISS look like a bunch of clowns.

Now that that's off my chest I have to say this movie is one of the coolest things I've ever seen. Just like 'Howard The Duck' and 'Sgt. Peppers', this movie was never meant to win an Oscar, or be the dinner table conversation across America. It was fun, the music was great, and the plot was corny. This basic theme of this movie was that it was a live action Scooby Doo episode, it had ALL the requisites. It was even done by Hanna-Barberra, for God's sake. I got a copy of this from a friend of mine, and wouldn't lose the tape for anything. All I can say is, life's too short to watch the movies that other people tell you to.