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blodhemn
Reviews
Collateral Damage (2002)
Arnold better start picking better scripts
-Contains Plot Spoilers-
It's not really Arnold's fault that this movie is bad. Blame the writers - I realize it is Roose and the Griffiths writing their first major motion picture, but they better improve if they want to survive Hollywood.
A nonsensical plot with plenty of loopholes in them. 1) Where did Arnold's character (a fireman) learn such impressive guerilla warfare? 2) Why does the CIA believe everything a fireman is telling them? 3) Shouldn't they have arrested him instead for deliberately breaking the law on numerous occasions? 4) Isn't it Arnold's fault that he literally brought the terrorist (a pretty one I might add) into the CIA Headquarters? 5)Wasn't it so convenient that the terrorist (did I mention she was pretty?) decided to reveal her identity by "accident" at the crucial moment?
But the most damning question has to be - Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger persist in selecting horrible movies to star in? When I watch 'Predator', 'The Terminator' and compare it to 'Collateral Damage'- it's like comparing a Rolls Royce to a kid's tricycle.
Rating: 3/10
Shrek (2001)
A wee bit disappointing...
I finally got around to watching this movie months after its theatrical run had come to a halt. After reading tons of articles of praise for the movie, my anticipation was at a high. Until I watched it - and I must say disappointment was the first feeling I got. Maybe it's because I waited too long, and the hype just got to me. Or maybe it's because I was expecting more comedy. Or maybe its because as a 26 year old, and 100 plus horror & action movies later, I have unfortunately lost the ability to enjoy an animated movie.
With an excellent cast of comedic talents; Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and John Lithgow - Cameron Diaz can be funny at times - I was expecting a laugh riot or a movie (which wasn't). However, the middle part of the movie was a little slow and only Murphy had all the funny spoken bits. The puns were good, however, the storyline is ordinary, but I won't be surprised if Katzenberg gets the better of Disney's entry in the Best Animated Movie at this year's Oscars - but I'll make my judgment once I see the list of nominees.
I would easily recommend this movie to anyone - great for families - but I wouldn't say this is the best animated movie I had ever seen (as some people are calling it) - just an enjoyable 90 minutes of your life that you'll forget in a few days time. And there's always Toy Story and Wallace & Gromit. A high 6/10. I would give it a high 7, if only there was more of Monsieur Hood.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Simply Breath-taking
I am one of those people who never read. I simply cannot pick up a book and last 10 pages without falling asleep. I am a movie buff, plain and simple. After hearing the hype about J.R.R. Tolkien's classic story, I had to watch and see for myself.
I have always been a big fan of fantasy movies, the larger the cast of characters, the better. The Fellowship of the Ring certainly has that - and much more. I am now fascinated dwellers of Middle Earth - the Dwarves, Elves, Hobbits, Orcs, Wizards, Warriors - everyone of them.
Peter Jackson has done a wonderful job in transforming words to movement, suffice to say that this movie makes me want to pick up the book and read (hopefully I'll reach page 20). I thoroughly enjoyed the fight scenes, the intricate dialogue, the comradarie, the betrayals and not forgetting, the effects. Never a dull moment, this movie has definitely lived up to my expectations.
Sure, the Fellowship of the Ring will have its fair share of detractors, but I dare say that nothing will stop this movie franchise from becoming the largest ever or at least get on par with the original Star Wars Trilogy. Just one wish - An Oscar Nomination for Sir Ian McKellen please?
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
None Shall Sur-Pass!!!
I can't think of any movie with this many memorable scenes. From the "Black Knight" to the "Bridge of Death", to the "Knights who say Ni!" to the "Invasion of Swamp Castle", the Holy Grail is simply one of my favourite comedies of all time (Life of Brian being right up there). Almost every scene in the movie had me in stitches, and I must say the Python team certainly has set a high standard on how comedies are meant to be done.
John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones and the incomparable Graham Chapman were outstanding. The story of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table will never be the same after this. I must recommend Holy Grail to anyone who has not seen it, you will not be disappointed.
The only complaint is the sudden, non-existent ending, but the rest of the movie makes up for it.
My favourite scene: Sir Lancelot invades Swamp Castle. Rating:10/10
Sorceress II: The Temptress (1997)
A Fair Judgment
Warning: Spoilers Ahead
It is often stated that no one actually plans to make a terrible movie. But with that statement in mind, whoever backed this should be shot. The producers probably thought,"Heck, we have Julie Strain. She's NAKED. She's a former Penthouse Pet, which means she'll be NAKED. People will pay just to see her NAKED. Did we mention that she'll be NAKED?"
Try, as I may, to be objective, this movie stinks. From a non-existent plot to poor portrayal of roles, its no wonder that most people will not have heard about the participants in this movie, except for Julie Strain of course. Oh, and don't forget Sandahl Bergman. Some of the conversations between the actors/actresses are simply laughable.
Our protagonist (Greg Wrangler) has problems with his erotic dreams every night, and seeks to find the root of his "problem". The key to his answers lies with the witchcraft practicing Julie, who conducts bizarre rituals to haunt our hero.
With help from good witch (Bergman), he attempts to rid himself of the evil in a climatic battle between the forces of good and bad, located conveniently in a cemetery. All of this is done with a miniscule budget, explaining the quality of the "special effects" used.
Overall, a very forgettable movie. If you are looking for a horror movie to scare the wits out of you, do stay clear of this. However, if the sight of NAKED women turns you on like there's no tomorrow, you'll be pretty satisfied with this effort. 10/10 for nudity. 3/10 for plot and acting ability.
Camouflage (2001)
2 Lane Highway to Boredom
I had watched this movie expecting a plethora of comedy from laughmeister Leslie Nielsen, but was instead subjected to some poor acting and a silly plot. Lochlyn Munro is just a tad too artificial, and Leslie Nielsen not his usual self. It took me almost half the movie to get into it, and although the movie had its share of laughs, the overall effort left a pretty sick taste in the mouth. I would watch it again, just to have a look at Vanessa Angel, and that's about the only good thing about the movie.