Change Your Image
TheGuru-4
Reviews
American Playhouse: Overdrawn at the Memory Bank (1983)
One of the best MST3K episodes!
I can't stop laughing at this movie. Even without Mike Nelson and his robot friends wisecracking their way through this awful "film", it's still entertaining. To the other user who mentions aardvarks, it's ANTEATERS. I don't know how he missed that, it's a running joke throughout the film! I think it's pretty amusing that Raul Julia was in this and the equally embarassing Street Fighter: The Movie. May you rest in peace.
Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II (1989)
we must have this on DVD!
The previous poster pretty much said it all - this movie contains flubs on ever level, from costumes to special effects, dialogue, editing, sound editing, continuity, and just plain out-and-out stupidity. My friend's kid brother enjoyed this film in a serious way back in 1990 - but he was only 9 years old so that makes sense. Even at 15 we understood how lame this really was. And yet we watched it so many times and laughed harder and longer than most movies that are intentional comedies! Some more examples of badness:
The warrior princess character uses bows and arrows and can somehow shoot them from impossible angles, i.e. killing men while standing in a tree and they are bending over, yet still hitting them squarely in the heart. I guess the arrow ricocheted off the dirt up into his chest.
Our "hero" fights a battle against a tentacled styrofoam creature that is shown in brief 1 second flashes with lots of dry ice to mask it's cheesiness. Somehow, the hero kills it though it's not really shown.
The hero goes from standing with his sword across his back, then cut away to some villagers, cut back - suddenly he is brandishing the sword! Guess it would be too much effort to see him unsheath it.
One evil wizard guy looks like Commander Data from Star Trek, right down to his gold painted face.
A final scene is a total ripoff of the whole Star Wars theme of "strike him down and you will turn to the Dark Side". Some sample dialogue (from memory):
"Don't you know that even if you embrace the thought of killing him, you will become evil and join him and NOT kill him, GET IT?"
Suddenly George Lucas sounds like Shakespeare. :)
A few more quotes (said in all seriousness in this movie):
"This is a hard time for heroes kid" "Hey - I'll see you at 7:30" (don't think they used time in such increments in the middle ages) "Now shut up - or start dancing, one or the other" "To the king and the queen of all creation, HAIL." "What can you do against the power of the Amulet of Light?!"
In conclusion, rent this !!
Boh lei chun (1999)
Caught me off guard...
I was not expecting a movie like this at all from Jackie Chan. After 30 or 40 minutes passed with no fight scenes I started getting antsy. The second half of the movie redeemed itself though with 2 amazing kung fu spectacles that still boggle my mind weeks and months later. In retrospect this is a very good movie - and the romantic angle was done really well and in a decent and sweet fashion - no one night stand sex scenes ala the rest of Hollywood - this was much more sincere than that. The guy playing Alan is a tremendous performer and should be given a chance for more starring roles, he stole the show from Chan in both scenes. Worth 10 bucks or so just for the fight scenes, and the rest of the movie ain't so bad either. :)
Ngo si seoi (1998)
Very entertaining!
My expectations were pretty much met with this film. It had the usual mix of action, comedy and goofiness that I would expect from a Chan film. A trademark of his movies are the villians who act silly when they get beat up and over-exaggerate their injuries by holding their aching body parts or something. If you can deal with the tongue-in-cheek humor and caricatures (one stereotypical American is painful to watch, but American movies stereotype Asians so turn-about is fair play!) then it's worth it for the handful of awesome jaw dropping fight scenes and the 2 cute female leads. I might buy this for my DVD collection if I can find it for 10 or 15 bucks.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
A Love/Hate Relationship...
This will go down as one of the most controversial films in history. You either loathe or completely embrace this latest saga in the Star Wars films. I fall somewhere in the middle of the two. Of course the first 3 movies are some of my favorite movies of all time, probably in the top ten. Expectations were way too high for Phantom Menace to begin with - but I have to fault Lucas for some major big league mistakes with this picture. First, Jar Jar Binks. This guy is irritating beyond all reason and sanity. I think Lucas was trying to imitate the successful Disney formula of an annoying jabbering sidekick. We could also do without the body fluid humor and what-not, it's just juvenile and has no place in a Star Wars film. A lot of the dialogue is forced and comes off flat. I know Jedis are supposed to be serious but come ON now. Ben Kenobi was never boring! Third, the plot was unimportant and not very involving. I guess it got the job done but the aliens didn't seem very menacing (the ones in Galaxy Quest were far more threatening!) and none of the characters made you care about them. Now - the plus side: the special effects have seen no equal since, and will not until Episode II. The podrace scene and the battle scenes are all expertly designed and executed. The music by John Williams is awesome as would be expected. And we have some good amounts of intrigue and suspense as a good setup for Episode II. I would advise you ask around before deciding to purchase this one, but you definitely can't go wrong with a rental. Just remember to mute the TV when Jar Jar comes on screen.
As Good as It Gets (1997)
Actually pretty good!
I saw this movie in the theater back in 1997 and just rented it again last night. It holds up pretty well and contains some fine performances by Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt, who both won Oscars that year. The story is highly original in its choice of characters and their relationships all being intertwined as they are. Nicholson's character, while mean and hateful, cannot be disliked and as the movie goes on, you really start to feel for the guy and his illness. I know some people with similar behavior patterns and it's totally beyond their control, this obsessive-compulsive behavior. This movie is also laugh out loud funny, which was unexpected when I first saw it. If I had to add any negatives, it would be that Nicholson seems too old to be a partner for Hunt, something about it doesn't quite jive. Also, the last 30 minutes of the movie seem to drag, as you are never quite sure where it's going with the unpredictable plot - however it being unpredictable also makes it so enjoyable. To sum it up, I was glued to the screen, mesmerized by Nicholson's amazing portrayal of his character, laughing out loud quite a few times and felt appropriately warm and fuzzy while the credits rolled. Check it out, but definitely bring along your significant other! :)
Aliens (1986)
A *perfect* sci-fi film!
This is my #1 all-time, most favorite, most watched movie EVER! Need I say more? Hmm ok. James Cameron is a genius and his directorial mastery is most evident here. Forget Titanic and Terminator for a second and let's discuss ALIENS. For a movie that is 15 years old the special effects still hold up even today - that is just amazing. Never did I doubt the reality of the movie or the possibility of aliens such as those in the film actually existing. This is a film that will give you nightmares. You'll care about the characters because they are ALL likeable and fun. There's more one-liners than a Schwarzeneggar movie here too, talk about the quotage! The music by James Horner is also first rate and heart pounding. It's also a testament to pacing and intensity that the last hour of the film is filled with so much tension and drama that you will feel worn out by the time the credits roll. And get this: Sigourney Weaver was nominated for Best Actress for her role. How many action/sci-fi movies get acting nominations? Virtually none. Check this movie out, don't even rent it, just BUY IT immediately on DVD.
Memento (2000)
A must-see!
I rarely go to the theater anymore, with most movies consisting of overblown Hollywood drivel such as Pearl Harbor and the like - but Memento is a true masterwork of film-making, very original in its concept and execution. The reverse chronology always keeps you guessing, as you play out the plot in your mind again and again. This is a thinking man's movie to be sure. My only negatives would be that it is quite dark and disturbing in its subject matter, with a lot of tension that some might find hard to deal with. But this ranks up there with the likes of Fight Club and The Usual Suspects in my book. Drop everything and see this now or buy the DVD when it's eventually released!