Change Your Image
Jesper Thorndahl
Reviews
Titan A.E. (2000)
A ROAD-MOVIE IN SPACE!
When watching this movie I couldn't stop thinking: this is how truly alien environments should be rendered in sci-fi; the visits to the methane-bubble-sea, New Bangkok, the ice-rings of Tigris, etc., really inspired that grand old sense of adventure found in classic movies like Star Wars: A New Hope, Battlestar Galactica, The Ice Pirates, etc.
Too bad the people-stuff wasn't aimed more at adults; this could have been Heavy Metal with a coherent story. Well, now I'm just looking forward to HEAVY METAL F.A.K.K. 2!
Oh, and a great soundtrack!
Total Recall (1990)
This is the big 'A'
'A' for "A lot of blood". No, make that "A lotter"! If you're not into violent movies, you might be offended. However, I always felt the gory parts were essential for Verhoeven's universe. A feeling of the softness and fragility of flesh versus the unrelenting steel of the weapons, armour and sets pervades throughout, like the "momento mori" of baroque art. These worlds mean business, they can harm you in a very real way, they are not the comfy deals we find in most other hollywood-material; "Robocop", "Starship Troopers" and "Total Recall" are all prime examples of this. The characters sweat and bleed their way through this, the most physical of movie-worlds!
'A' as in Action; this is a rollercoaster-ride of beautifully choreographed action-scenes, and the plot keeps your brain on its little grey toes throughout!
'A' as in Arnold-movie; this movie, along with T2 and Predator, is one of the best examples of a genre all its own, which sets an impressive standard for adrenaline-level and imagery.
'A' for Acting. Arnold almost acts (!) in places, not so much in the stale voicing of his Austrian accent, but there is some nice facial stuff in there, which must be considered class A acting, coming from Mr. "I'll be back" Universe! Anyhow, the rest of the cast are excellent!
CONCLUSION: A camp Austrian, a mad Dutchman and the twisted genious of Phillip K. Dick; what more do you need? See it tonight, but keep a towel handy for wiping the sweat off your brow!
Beowulf (1999)
BORING, BORING, BORING... If you want Lara Croft, then buy the game.
GOOD: Technomusic accompanying medieval swordplay. Also, the movie looks sleeker than most b-movies, but let's face it: Quake or Doom has more atmosphere.
BAD: Unintelligent plot, no acting and totally unbelievable universe. I am usually able to see the potential of even very bad movies; heck, I love a good B-movie like "Split Second" and the likes. But this one has has nothing but boredom and cliché to offer... Totally predictable from start to end. Oh, and I forgot the lousy special effects, they look more like an old Playstation game than anything out of myth! The use of a classic poem to sell this sucker offends me!
CONCLUSION: Quite simply boring. If you want to see Lara Croft, buy the game, it's way sexier!
Omega Doom (1996)
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE ROBOTIC. Cool, but with no depth...
RESUME: "Last Man Standing" with robots. A lone stranger enters a post-apocalyptic 'town', where he takes advantage of the growing tensions between two 'gangs' of killing-machines, using their own inane appetite for destruction against themselves. They are a doomed race, we learn, being capable of nothing but destruction.
GOOD: The visual language is that of Sergio Leone's classic spaghetti westerns, where most of the time is spend building up tension in a psychological (positronic?) game of poker between the main characters, before the actual violence takes place in the blink of an eye. The scenes with our protagonist, Hauer, and the evil female robot, "Blackheart", are a visual, erotic intercourse, replacing menace for foreplay and death for climax! I can't help but wonder if the Wachowsky Brothers saw this movie while making "Matrix", since they totally borrowed the look and style off this movie!
BAD: Style aside, it is a sin to make a movie with such obvious potential for delving into the intricacies of being human/artificial and utterly ignoring it for the whole 90 minutes! Just a hint of Isaac Asimov or Phillip K. Dick would have done the deed!
UGLY?: No, actually quite a nice little b-movie that leaves you with a gnawing feeling of what it could have been with just a slightly better script.