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Reviews
Aftermath (1994)
Simply the best!
I must say that after years of collecting obscure titles from the world over, gore-hound classics to underground film noirs and black comedies, Nacho Cerdas short film Aftermath is probably the single most compelling picture i have ever seen. It is easily the sickest film and most beautiful film at the same time. The special effects are better than anything Tom Savini could dream up, and the cinematography is comparable to some of the great contemporary films in American history. I love this film because it is a beautiful drug for the senses. Visually it is breathtaking, and the absence of dialogue adds the perfect dramatic suspense and brings a stomach turning realism to the events portrayed. The most incredible aspect of the film however, is the incredible attention to detail in the sound department. Every pin-drop has been captured so perfectly it elevates the grandeur of this ambitious effort and penetrates the sickness that pervades throughout this story. This is an absolutely sickening and disturbing masterpiece that provides more shocks that any Hong Kong CAT 3 film or any nasty 80s cult horror flick. It is also a beautifully photographed film with a big budget feel that is a must see for any aspiring film maker or film student. Unearthed Films is currently bringing this film to DVD with interviews and other films of Nacho Cerda. I would highly recommend it, and i cant wait to see how they restore this already beautiful film. They have done a great job with the Guinea Pig films, so it should be an impressive package. unearthedfilms.com
Traces of Death III (1995)
Classic Shock Fest Nostalgia!
All parts of the Traces series are great! Of course this is for particular tastes, but those who like it, like it a lot!
If you were fascinated by the "Banned from Television" series or more circulated material like the Real TV show and all the "see it to believe it" programs on the tube, then Traces of Death is the obvious next step. More demanding than Faces of Death, this compilation is a highlight reel of some of the best moments of mondo, news footage, and curios from around the world. Gore is the forefront for any traces tape, and if you like to be shocked or to "test yourself" this is a lot of fun, especially in a group setting! However, be forewarned that the images you will see are all 100% REAL and yes, disturbing as all heck. Without spoiling it, let's just say you might want to prepare yourself for scenes containing decapitation, castration, animal sacrifice, and of course cold blooded murder. I am not recommending that you watch this front of any unsuspecting friends or family as you will be treated with a likely tempered response. I think it is fun because of the way the subject matter is handled. Some people complain that the addition of Death Metal soundtrack in the latter parts of the series is annoying, but let me say that for me this completes the process and combines all aspects for the true "Death Enthusiast". I think the narration by host "Brain Damage" is both funny but also a little too cheesy. His hidden identity is a real joke, but again makes this a real fun romp for the slightly jaded! Another great thing is that it brings metal heads back to a nostalgic time when Relapse Records was the empire of the metal world, and when the "Death Metal" genre was at its peak. Classic cuts from bands like Kataklysm, Meshuggah and Macabre, will light up any metal head like a christmas tree!
I guess my only complaint is that the whole thing is a pretty hack job. I mean I have made similar compilations on 2 VCRS and think that even I have a better skill at pacing and climax, especially in regards to fitting the music where it best belongs. Yet, all this is a minor quibble. The low-budget basement-cut feel and shlocky 90's production values add to the underground feeling you get when watching the Traces of Death series!
You'll have to search the web to find a copy out there, as you surely won't run into this one at your local video store any time soon! Also check out the updated "Faces of Gore" series by Todd Tjersland for an even sicker experience!!!!!
Play safe, and don't be so serious!!!!!
Hei tai yang 731 (1988)
A Mixed bag........
Well, I waited a long time to see this, and despite criticism of it being overly boring, I found it to be tolerable in most respects.
As far as it never being released in the US, the copy I own was released by Dead Alive Productions, which is a US distribution.
The main element that keeps this one from boring me to sleep is the hilarious over-dubs. Seeing the japanese mouths move, while strangely american voices are heard never gets tiresome. It maintains tempo because of this comedic value felt throughout. The direction and style felt very trashy like an ILSA style of exploitation. The acting was entertaining and believable while over the top.
On to the gore..... this being my main reason for watching, and likely the primary interest for most viewers. Well, i have to say that while the bloodshed was not consistent throughout, the scenes of violence in this movie are so painfully realistic and brutally horrific that even a hardened gore-hound like me was kept flinching through some of the disembowelings and GAG**supremo cat dismemberment by 1000 rabid rats. Yeah, theres no denying that the graphic content in this one dances circles around most lame US releases. I sure felt that some of this could not be fake, but you will have to decide for yourself....
I paid $8 US for this, and it was worth it. I would recomend paying between $5-10 to own, and if renting make sure to dub a copy. If this doesn't elicit gags from your girlfriend, nothing will.
Antropophagus (1980)
Another Video Nasty that does not live up to the hype!
***MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS, CONCERNING MAKE-UP EFFECTS, BUT NOT PLOT*** Well, Well. After years of video collecting, countless hours of fast-forwarding, and the occasional decent flick, I have finally got my hands on a copy of the infamous Antropophagus. I used to read old Threat Theatre catalogs, and issues of The Dark Side magazine, and I heard about all the Video Nasties, and Exploitation, and Trash, and think to myself, man it would be great to get my hands on some of that stuff. It all seems so rare and obscure like a cult collectors dream! But as i started to find ex-rental copies and bootlegs at flea-markets and such, I came to an even more shocking conclusion: Most of this trash, really is trash. Hardly are any of these films truly gorey or impressive, none of them live up to their American counterparts. I would gladly trade in my Francos, D'amatos, and Fulci's, any day for old-school Raimi, Savini, and Peter Jackson(New-Zealand). The definition of a Video Nasty, in truth, is simply any film that the British find offensive. It doesn't mean it's good, or that it will even shock you, it means that the British are far too easily offended!
And so we have Antropophagus. From cult favorite, Joe D'amato. The version I own has the most ludicrous dubbing I have ever seen in my entire life, along with japanese subtitles. In the beginning of the film we are quickly treated to one of the better moments when a male victim laying on a beach receives a hatchet to the face. But sit tight, because that's all you get for the next hour, until finally the title character shows up. It's frustrating to say the least, when watching a horror movie, if the "Bad Guy" does not even appear ONCE during the first hour. I mean it, not even one shot of his face until the last 30 mins of the film. George Eastman plays the Antropophagus Beast, or the Grim Reaper, depending on which version you own. All in All, he is creepy, a good slasher'stalker type, but more laughable, than say Micheal Myers, or Jason Vorhees. All of the horror elements in this film are strictly routine, by the numbers type of fare. However the atmosphere created is unique. Although it is poorly executed, you can see the potential for something scary, within the great landscapes and sets on this island. Too bad the lame dialogue and ridiculous off time soundtrack ruin any possibility of suspense. I will admit one thing... unlike Jesus Franco and Lucio Fulci, I do like Joe D'amatos directing. This may sound like a long shot, but I like the way his films look, especially Emanuelle in America. He has good camera movement, and his films benefit greatly from a widescreen presentation.
But back to the issue at hand. The gore scenes in this effort were far and few between (Yes, I have the UNCUT version!!!). Perhaps, judging by the cover and by the general buzz about this "Nasty" I was expecting some over the top gore-fest similar to Evil Dead or Bad Taste. Well I couldn't have been further from the truth. The amount of blood and guts in this film amounts to about 1 min of screen time. Theses moments consist of 1 hatchet to the face, 1 sword to the back, a couple of slit throats, 1 hanging and of course both the infamous "Fetus for Lunch" and "Auto Cannibalism" scenes. The first, is so quick and built up that its done before it even begins. Antropophagus reaches into the pregnant character and pulls out what looks like the fetus of a small animal, proceeds to take a single bite- and then Bam! -the scene ends!!!!!! What??? All that controversy over 20 seconds of that?? I could have made a more shocking scene on my Dads camcorder with a $20 budget. Talk about a rip-off. Anyone expecting some grotesque display of horror of the most graphic nature, will either throw their remote at the television set, or laugh themselves silly.
On to the only other highlight or "lowlight"- depending on your point of view- of this movie. The scene in which Antropopo eats his own intestines. Again, i can't say enough how much of a disappointment this was. Antropopo takes an Axe to the chest (albeit, it's a hefty blow to the sternum), which looks incredibly fake. He then stuffs his mouth with some (half-decent) looking intestines that he pulls from said axe-wound which opened his chest. Then he collapses, and the movie is over. To be honest I found the goriest scene in the whole film to be when a girl victim is lifted through a hole in the roof by her neck. That seemed to be more shocking than either the fetus or intestines. I was expecting the most visceral thrills but this and the few other glimpses of gore were so quick and unimpressive, that as a gore-hound I was truly disappointed. There were no painfull close-ups or slow motion techniques used to glorify the bloodshed, which may make me sound sick and desperate, but I argue that this is what the typical fan of this kind of film will be looking for. If not, why would someone bother to go through all the trouble of locating an UNCUT copy, I ask??
Bottom line- If your looking for a good fun romp with lots of carnage, try Don't Go In The Woods (1980), or Night of the Demon (1980, or more standard stuff like Dead Alive. If it's D'amato your looking for, I would suggest some of his more entertaining work like Troll 2, or the any of the Ator series. He also has quite the line of Porn and Erotic material, most of it easy to find, if that floats your boat. But if you MUST HAVE Antropophagus, I wouldn't recommend paying more than 10 bucks, as the best part of the movie is looking at the classic cover of the box it comes in. * 4/10
Hard Rock Zombies (1984)
No Hard Rock, No Zombies, No good Movie
I have to comment, because this is one is a real waste of time. I collect old horror, and i paid $3 for this gem, that $3 could have went towards a shoe-horn and it would have been better spent. Unfortunately, i really wanted to like this movie, it has a great cover, a great title, and the director has a really cool name. Well, that's the only good praise i can give this one. The movie itself is torture of the worst kind. The "hard rock" is actually just horribly irritating mainstream 80s cheese hair tunes. The zombies are nothing more than the lead characters with white face paint! I mean they could have at least painted their arms and maybe their hands, but no. Also, the "zombies" walk like robots. The plot is basically just a cop-out to sell the love story, which is the lamest love story i have ever had to endure on screen. But i think the highlight, no check that, the "lowlight" of this garbage is that the unintentional humor is forced, and the back of the case boasts that this is an "outlandish thriller that melds the rock beat and stunning visuals of THRILLER with the campy horror/comedy of such cult classics as THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW and BLOODSUCKING FREAKS. When the makers go as far as to advertise the "camp" factor it's usually a good sign to avoid. As for fellow gorehounds, there is nothing to see here, no gore whatsoever, there are killings but they are all off screen. There is blood, but no splatter. There is a midget, i will give you that, but even his cute little soul couldn't help this trash. If you want to see a similar but far superior movie see BLOOD SUCKERS FROM OUTER SPACE. It has far better comedy, much more silly gore, and works with the same budget. 2/10.
Sam Kinison: Breaking the Rules (1987)
The funniest Sam Kinison performance ever!
This is an absolutely legendary performance by the late comic genious Sam Kinison. Filmed at the Roxy in Hollywood, this is Sam before he was a superstar. He is at his best here, in pre-prodigy form. Many of his Christ-related skits and his unforgettable "alphabet" gag. This should not be missed if your are a fan of stand-up. This is better than the other 2 home videos he released, "Banned" and "Family Hour", although they are also highly recommended.
Your World as I See It (1994)
Lost film of Jim Varney?
Since no one has commented on this movie, and it has even yet to recieve 5 votes I guess it is a rare film. Well, I just bought it second hand for $2.99. The box claimed over 40 short stories by Ernest. I figured it might be good for a couple of laughs. Well, not really. Jim Varney does some pretty funny characters, especially the baby, but this is not your standard Ernest film. For one thing, there are no credtis before or after the movie, so no idea if John Cherry, who directed all of the other Ernest films directed this one. Also the entire film is only 27 minutes long, which if you do the math, is less than a minute for each of the 40 short stories. Lastly, the "short stories" are not even short stories, each sketch is about 15 seconds long and between the sketches the character of Astor Clement narrates the show. This is the most irritating part of the tape. After every skit, Clement (played by Varney, as are all the characters) keeps repeating over and over "This is your world as I see it" and then he laughs. It gets really annoying after about the 20th time, but he never stops and then the movie just ends. I can't recommend this, but then again I can't guarentee that you would ever find it anywhere to begin with. You have already seen Varney play all of the characters on this tape before in other movies, so don't waste your time with this. I'll give it a 2 out of 10.
The Initiation (1984)
The Initiation, gory, gruesome? Give me a break!
The only reason i am writing this review is to achieve some redemption for being tricked into buying this movie, based on the other User Comments on here. Many of the reviews state that this is a gory, gruesome, and particularly noteworthy slasher film. All of which it is not! I have seen virtually every gory film out there, and every slasher film, and here's my take.
**May contain spoiler, concerning death scenes, not story** There are about 5, maybe 6 murders in this movie. Which is fair, if they are truly gory and unique. They are not. Each murder consists of the same technique, a garden tool through the neck or face or stomach, it doesn't really matter. They are all very quick, dark, and unimpressive. Although they sound gory by description, they do not appear as gruesome in watching the film. There is virtually no splatter, and the one scene that had potential (a head being chopped off), is instead insinuated by a shadow, and then a cut-away. Second, this film is not in any way chilling, scary, or original. It is very routine, with some very ugly actors, especially the parapsyhologists assistant, what's up with her?? She is heinous!!! I expected this movie to be brutal, but it is quite tame, the acting is (of course) terrible, which i could dismiss if the film was campy, or unintentionally funny, but it takes itself pretty serious. So no points there. None of the characters are enjoyable. The only allowance this movie gets is for the last 20 mins in which i thought the setting in the department store was mildly amusing and perhaps could have been scary, other than that this is a total waste of time for both fans of the genre and gore-hounds. This is a genuine fast-forwarder, but even then you won't find what your looking for. If you absolutely must see every movie in the video-store, skip this one and choose Don't Go In The Woods, now there's a movie that i didn't expect much from, but was treated to a blood-filled surprise. Also it is hilarious.
The Immoral Mr. Teas (1959)
Interesting for it's time.....
The Immoral Mr.Teas is the first Russ Meyer film, but fans of his work may find this one a bit slow. It's not black and white but with no dialogue it plays like a silent movie, with a quarky soundtrack. Considering it's 1959, this movie is impressive for it's imagination and daring nudity, but will probably only satisfy Meyer completists....
Ernest Goes to Jail (1990)
2nd best of the ernest series, great as a b-movie
**May contain Spoilers** Okay, I just finished watching Ernest goes to Jail. I had seen it before when i was a kid, so a lot of it came back to me as i was watching it tonight. Basically, it's an alright film. I wouldn't go as far as to recommend it, but i will way the pros and cons for you to decide. The movie is not really funny, it's humorous. Nothing you would laugh out loud at, except for maybe the infamous "Ink Pen" scene in the courtroom. Personally, I love Jim Varney, and I enjoy the Ernest character enough that i can sympathize out of a certain nostalgia. Varney is surprisingly convincing as the "Nash" character of a mean-streaked jail bird. But thats as far as i'll go with the critique`. Here are the main elements that make this film watchable and even enjoyable. Because of the recent death of Jim Varney, and the speculation i've heard that he was actually a pretty cool and very intelligent guy in real life, there is some sort of fascination you can have with him. If you watch this movie not as a comedy, but as a b-movie, it works pretty well, for the following reasons: 1. a small role for Charles Napier, of Russ Meyer fame. 2. the inclusion of "Tex" Cobb of various b-movie fame, also that killer performance in Raising Arizona. 3. Cobb has some sort of a reverse-afro-mullet going on. 4. Ernest shares the screen with his other self "Nash" and they ensue in an on screen fight, which is of course varney vs. varney, sort of like ash vs. evil ash. 5. Ernest's house is wildly eccentric. 6. Ernest gets electrocuted about 6 or 7 times 7. Prison guards that wear bright pink uniforms 8. And lastly, a bit of dark humor particularly in one scene in the last 20 mins of the movie where Ernest is taken to the electric chair to be executed. A guard asks Ernest if he would like a cigarette before he goes, and Ernest replys with something to the note of "No thank you, cigarettes will kill you." Now you may be wondering how that is funny, aside from the obvious paradox. Well here's why, Jim Varney died at the fairly young age of 50. He died from lung cancer. He was a heavy smoker. So cigarettes did kill Ernest. When I heard him riddle off that line about cigarettes killing you, it turned my stomach in a morbid way. So theres your dark humor.
Incubo sulla città contaminata (1980)
Thriller! Must See!
If you can sit through this entire movie from beginning to end, then you are a worthless drone, who should be shot in the face. The only possible excuse, for watching this movie would be that you thought hanging yourself, wouldn't be painfull enough, so a better way to slowly kill yourself would be to sit through this independent classic. Their is one cool scene where a girl get's her eye socket ripped out. But other than that, it's a downhill slider. The zombies run! Ok? The zombies actually run, and shoot guns, and theyre smart. What genious dreamt this up? The voice overs on my version(titled City of the Walking Dead) are the most pathetic of all time. The plot is just an insulting rip off of all things Romero. The gore is cheap, quick and unenjoyable. But then again, if your one of those people who is entertained by even the most low budget awful zombie flicks, then you might as well watch this just to say you did. I mean I actually own this movie, so I should definetely be executed by firing squad.
Sam's Song (1969)
Not for Denrio buffs
Ok, if your a big Deniro buff like me you'll assume you need Sam's Song, considering it's one of his earliest films. That's why I bought it. It's not worth it. Do yourself a favor and just lie and tell people you misplaced it, when your showing off your Deniro collection. Deniro's role is quite small, and the movie is so patheticly boring and obsolete, that even the biggest deniro buffs probably won't enjoy it. Along with Were No Angels, this is one Deniro flick, that just doesn't cut it for me.
The Body Shop (1972)
independent gore
I own this movie. And it is terribly hard to find. It is a unique low budget little gore flick about a doctor seeking the perfect companion. It has the really humourous low budget feel to it, and the gore is suprisingly good for what appears to be a $500 budget. The director is claimed to be the master of gore. I wouldn't go that far, but maybe in his time he was. Overall 6/10 on the gore chart.
Monkey Shines (1988)
Monkey Shines Licks!
All right I thought this would be a good movie because I like George Romero. Well it is not. This is the absolute worst movie I have ever seen, and believe me I have seen lots. This is a no brainer, no gore, no story, no good acting, completely pathetic attempt at movie making. No Action, no blood, I'm not even sure if anyone dies. Romero the king of North American zombie flicks(Night,Day,Dawn...of the dead)has decapitated his image as a horror master. Please promise me whoever or wherever you are, never ever rent or purchase this movie, you will never recover from the nauseating memories of this film.
Maniac (1980)
True Gore Fest
Maniac is a superb treat for those who love gore mixed with a disturbing storyline. Very gritty no holds barred look at the way serial killers stalk their victims under city nights. Tom Savini tops off this film with his master special effects. This film would have to be on my top 5 goriest of all time. Truly Sick!!