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jhakal
Reviews
Top Secret! (1984)
Top Secret: This movie is High-larious!
Here's a disclaimer: I'm going to talk about the movie now, and if you haven't seen it, then you won't know what the heck I'm talking about. But it's pretty hard to review a movie without mentioning anything specific. And so therefore I am checking the spoiler box.
Top Secret! is a hilarious movie that everyone should watch every day after school every day of the week during fourth or fifth grade.
There are two basic kinds of great scenes in this movie - whenever Val Kilmer dances (because he actually dances, up on tables, down the steps, in long takes), and during the scene in the Swedish bookshop where everything's backwards and waaay in the background there's a book about lesbian iron-smiths or something.
The only negative thing about this movie is that its humor is sometimes so wacky and scatterbrained that I lost the plot. Wait, what's going on now? Luckily, the plot is the least important part of this movie. It's almost more beside the point than Aeon Flux.
King Kong (2005)
peter jackson is over
I don't know if this review contains spoilers or not, but I'm scared into constipation by that gestapo permanent blacklist, so I'm checking the box. Now on to the review: I have to say, Peter Jackson is over. And King Kong was not a good movie.
The good things about this movie - everything digital. King Kong's fight with the Allosauruses. King Kong getting shot up on top of NYC. I cared about King Kong. I laughed, I cried, and I learned a life lesson about dinosaurs. They nasty.
The bad things about this movie - all the actors, the hackneyed plot, the bad writing. Why is Billy Elliot in this movie? Did even die, or what? Would it have even been tragic if he did? Obviously this director is settled in his 6-hour-mega-epic-groove. This movie really, really could have benefited from some paring down.
So there you have it. I didn't care about the characters, except for King Kong. And for this reason the story arc was flat and uninteresting to me.
I give one thumb up to WETA and Andy Serkis, and one thumb down to Fran Walsh, Phillipa Boyens, and mostly to Pete.
Hitch (2005)
good until the ending
These comments shouldn't spoil too much, but you can't be too careful these days, especially with these black lists they have now.
This movie was good until the melodramatic ending. When Will Smith starts talking about flying and rocks and jumping, you might just want to duck out of the theater.
Product placement in this movie, including the entire city of New York, was also quite prominent. I don't know why Krispy Kreme decided it would be a good idea to have Kevin James slam their product as heart attack inducing, though. Who wants to have a product associated with heartbreak, much less heart disease? One other thing about this movie that seems prevalent in romantic comedies: lots of the tension in the middle third is predicated on a ridiculous and unbelievable misunderstanding. I thought this movie was gonna end about three times before it actually did. I guess if it had ended the first time I thought it would, none of the characters would have learned any life lessons, but they could have fixed that with some post production voiceovers, and it would have made me happy.
Don't let me dissuade you though. This is a better than average movie. Kevin James is funny. Will Smith is funny and smoove. Eva Mendes is curvy. Her southern friend looks like Brittany Murphy. And there is a lot of good advice what with the getting on with the ladies.
Little Sister (2000)
very average
there were some kind of good parts in this movie, there was acting better than Clerks, and the camera work didn't get in the way that bad. But a lot of the script was really bad...um, and really, I think everything else is overshadowed by the fact that it's a romantic comedy/ drama? pairing a 20 something regular guy trying to make it in LA and A 17 YEAR OLD. Does this bother anyone else? If you want to see a really great film that deals with some of the same issues, albeit in a different form, check out the short "How do they make potato chips?"
How Do They... Make Potato Chips? (1997)
HOW DO THEY MAKE A GREAT MOVIE? HERE'S HOW!
I remember when I saw the whimsical cult classic, "What Is A Door?", I said to myself "There's no way George Johnson II can top this." Unbeknownst to me, he had already set the standard two years prior, in 1997. All I have to say after experiencing "How Do They Make Potato Chips?" is that GJ2 has certainly outdone himself this time.
This cinematic thrill-ride through the lawless streets of Spudville had me on the edge of my seat. It sets new standards in almost all imaginable fields, but mostly just in displaying -unflinchingly at times- the always versatile, sometimes enigmatic, and occasionally coy and fickle potato chip. I swear to you, you'll never look at these mouthwateringly baked spud flakes the same way. Truly, a seminal work of groundbreaking film making. If you see one film this year, nay, ANY year, make it this one.