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Reviews
Star Trek (2009)
Silly, Lazy Writing...
I love Star Trek - in all incarnations - so I wanted to like the big screen rebirth/reboot of the intricate/inspirational Trek universe.
We were disappointed, if not downright offended. Gone was sound science, poignant philosophical peccadilloes, rich tapestry of space and species -- replaced, sadly by empty over-produced popcorny fluff + filler. A tangle of smoke, mirrors, caricatures, hollow dialogue, and lots o'testosterone.
As a silly space chase action movie it barely works -- it's visually stimulating (but shaky/saturated) -- yet as an addition to the catalog of quality Trek - it's sorely lacking, sacrilegious, + intellectually insulting. They just hijacked the name, sold out + slapped a vacuous veneer on a formerly venerable canon.
Stupid Plot 'Points' to snap your suspension o' disbelief:
1. Kirk is a dickish hick who wrecks antique cars for no apparent reason (parental spite?) - also never wanted to join Star Fleet until 2am the night before, after a drunken brawl + pep talk from a stranger. So he stays up all night- plastered, + reports 6 hours later, bloody, for a 4 year commitment. In the middle of getting suspended for cheating, suddenly a crisis breaks out + they close court and race to space. Hours later, cadet Kirk is first officer of the fleet flagship.
2. Spock, far from being stoic + logical -- hooks up with his students, makes out w/crew in plain sight, fights, + commits cardinal sin of tampering w/the temporal time-line many times over.
3. Spock kicks Kirk off a moving ship mid-crisis - landing on some unknown planet, where he suddenly has snow gear, can breathe -- AND, get this, runs haplessly into a random cave which just so happens to house future Spock.
4. Luckily, 12km away from magic cave lives Scotty -- who, just hours later -- is suddenly running all of Engineering on an Enterprise he'd never been on before.
This is but a taste of the ridiculous-ness. It goes on + on, but I'll end here by saying spare your sanity + go watch any other Trek besides this mess...
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
A brutal artificial fable brought to life...
This terrible monstrosity of a 'movie' is an affront to the senses and an assault on our society. It fails on all levels.
As a MOVIE - Missing all elements of a well made movie. Meandering, incoherent storyline and superficial, stereotyped characters. Really just an excuse to inflict 2 hours worth of torture and brutality and make us feel sympathy for an unfounded, undeveloped character named Jesus. Utterly ridiculous storyline if you watch it objectively.
As a SOCIAL PHENOMENON - A pure illustration of the rampant hypocrisy and ridiculous fiction that is organized religion. Churches truck our children into theaters to be asssaulted by this delusional drivel redressed as fact, then they go write letters to congress about violence on television and the offensive nature of Janet Jackson's boob. Takes blatant biographical liberties and resorts to rampant revisionist history in order to justify the silly story of Jesus as foundation for the Catholic Church. A stack of lies and loose historical fiction does not make an entertaining movie, it merely inflicts perpetual pain and prejudice on the public.
Christianity has no cause for celebration, for it has caused countless wars, propagated intolerance and hatred, introduced the concept of guilt, taught people to hand over free will to a mythical man in the sky. Disgusting it is, and this movie only perpetuates such nonsense.
My First Mister (2001)
Harold and Maude Revisited
My First Mister stands as a stellar story of angst, alienation, and the human condition. Two lonely souls with apparently polar opposite attitudes share one important aspect of their existence - the need for a concrete connection with another consciousness. Both have deliberately withdrawn from the trite banalities of pop culture and the superficial facade of social interaction. While 'popular' kids pick on and pity such loners in highschool- labeling them outcasts lacking social graces - many who withdraw and avoid the masses do so not out of fear but from strength. It is this conscious contempt and willful independance which truly testifies to one's personal fortitude and integrity. It takes more courage to be alone and dignified, than to pick the path with the white picket fence or follow the other sheep to Starbucks and the Gap. So it goes for our two heroes. Neither 'fits' in anywhere, so each has turned that turmoil inward - Jennifer (J) has gone Goth, erected walls, and mutilated her epidermis, while Randall (R) has resorted to reclusivity amongst magazines and nostalgia. These are not shallow, one-dimentional characters like Lost Angeles and celluloid are laden with, rather the duo are deep, deftly defined personas with definite counterparts in waking life.
J and R have undeniable chemistry, as beakers of banter overflow and worlds collide in a jumble of verbal jabs with an underscore of genuine emotion. Amazing acting by Brooks and Sobiesky anchor the story as the axis the plot spins around. You don't just suspend disbelief in a movie like this, you fall into their artificial world of familiarity, friendship, and simple interaction. You still might not want to hang out with them, yet you'll root for them, feel for them, grow to like and respect them. and while the latter half of the movie descends into cliche, the first hour and the ideas therein is a really beautiful thing.
Tango & Cash (1989)
Whimsy, Madness, and Bullets
For a mindless, soul-numbing action flic, Tango and Cash is everything one could hope for in the limited genre. Witty one-liners deadpanned by dry Sly, plus endearing sarcasm oozed by charm-n-smiles Kurt Russell -- not to mention the introduction of the word 'FUBAR' into the English vocabulary. This one's a definite guilty pleasure, fueled by formidable bad guys, sympathetic heroes, and lots and lots of action. Kick back the Laz-E-Boy and shut off your brain, let's pop Tango and Cash in the old Hifi...
The Dirty Dozen (1967)
Bam-Pow-Zoink-War!
Another glossy jingoistic World War movie, protaganized by hard-assed tough-nosed soldiers. The 'Dirty Dozen' in this case refers to a group of criminals morphed into an elite fighting squad by a selfish, short-sighted army brass. These criminals, traitorous malconents through and through, get suddenly sprung from hard time and death sentences with a promise from a desperate US military. The army has volunteered these strapping young lads to see through a suicide mission of the highest import. Face overwhelming odds and conquer a French castle armed to the teeth and stocked with elite german officers. No problem, echoes our unshaven group of malcontents. Lee Marvin plays the passive-aggressive, jaded to the point of constipation Major in charge of this heroic fiasco. Of course tempers flare and rams butt horns, but in the end up becomes down and the condemned men ultimately prove heroic. No suprises - things blow up, recruits brawl, sacrifices are made in the vague name of duty. And capping this illustrious tale of anti-pacifism is the US flag, waving bloodily in the smoky sky for all to see.
The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
Chilling Psychological thriller...
A dark thriller packed with intrigue and suspense. A bit twisted, but tight plotline and superb acting help pull it off. The star of this film is Jude Law (see Gattaca!). He steals every scene...another highlight is Seymour-Hoffman, who plays smug arrogance to perfection. I pride myself on unraveling these mysteries as they unfold, but this one kept me guessing. Great flick.
The Matrix (1999)
A visually spectacular existential ride...
This is one of the best movies of all time. How one may walk away from this flick unmoved is beyond me.
Everything you know in life, even as you read this right now, is a result of the facts reported to you by your five senses. If life is fated, or a test, or a lesson...there is no need for those in control to actually create a physical world. They could simply manipulate these five input sources to create a world in your mind. You would never know the difference. This movie is a complete trip through the philosophical possibilities of life/reality... it has the audacity to pose big questions, and more importantly, it asks these questions within the scope of a tight and stunning visual escapade.
You've never seen a movie like this one, its the antithesis of cheese. Its beautiful, its loud, its colorful, and its hypnotic. Watch this movie with an open mind, and see the world with fresh eyes.
Hav Plenty (1998)
Refreshing and impressive...
I must say, for a first time director/actor/writer...Mr. Cherot has many skills. He acts without pretension, the dialogue is snappy and realistic, and the plot revolves around the characters, instead of some contrived formula. My only question is with some of the acting, but damn...for a low budget, first time debut--- this movie impressed the hell out of me.
This movie happens like real life, like a seinfeld episode...it's quirky and blunt. And I give mad props for the ending, which playfully satirized the movie and genre itself... and it confirms the courage and honesty I liked so much from the beginning... Enjoy this one without your ego, just watch it and be absorbed!
My Giant (1998)
Big Gheorghe shines...
Gheorghe Muresan is the best part of this movie. He was instantly likable and can actually act!
The plot seemed a little sappy and contrived, and the ending was a little dissapointing. All in all though, it's good for a rainy day or for some mindless, fluffy entertainment.
The Brothers McMullen (1995)
To help put things in perspective-
Although everyone so far has praised this movie (as they should!), its been mentioned that there are some minor flaws like film quality etc... For the record, this movie was filmed as an independent for something like $35,000, a measly sum which makes the movies' overall beauty all the more amazing. Shooting so cheap requires even more directoral skill and personal vision. This is the true testament to Burn's impressive talent.