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Pol14
Reviews
Shrek (2001)
Sorry, I just don't see it
OK, I just don't see why people like this movie so much. I only watched it yesterday because none of the movies I wanted to rent were in. So I settled on this, with the lowest of expectations... and that's it. No "pleasantly surprised!" comments from me, because I frankly didn't see ANY original jokes in this. NONE.
The jabs at Disney - intended to be funny - actually just showed a raw bitterness to me, and I can't believe nobody else saw this.
The colours were good, and some sequences were *quite* well done, but that's about it. No, I don't think Disney is in trouble just yet; after all, "The Emperor's New Groove" was a far, FAR superior movie, and it's such a shame that it was largely overlooked (which is more than I can say about "Shrek"). If you want real, genuinely hilarious jokes, watch "The Emperor's New Groove", which practically invents its own brand of humour. If you're into the dire, simple, "Two things: SHUT. UP." kind of humour that died long ago in "Friends", watch "Shrek", and by all means enjoy it.
The Gift (2000)
The Most Involving Psychological Thriller I've Seen
What's wrong with you people? This movie must be one of the best I've seen...EVER!
It's deep, dark, brilliantly acted, intriguing and suspenseful as hell. It also features some of the best directing and photography I've seen in donkeys' years. Plus, it shows that Keanu Reeves can actually...... ACT. I know, I was shocked, too.
Watch Sam Raimi's "The Gift" now. I almost didn't, because of the bad reviews it got, but now I think I'm gonna buy it.
What Lies Beneath (2000)
If Michelle Pfeiffer really is going to stop acting, this is a great way to leave the movie business
"What Lies Beneath" is one of the best movies I've seen this year. A lot of people say it's very Hitchcock-ian, but I've never seen a Hitchcock movie, so I can't judge.
It's terrifying, jumpy, intriguing and well-acted. Oh, I forgot the "keeps-you-on-the-edge-of-your-seat-'til-you-feel-as-though-you're-in-her-shoes" element which is...quite important.
Although it gets a little silly towards the end, ignore the critics, watch this movie in the dark, buy it, and watch it over and over. That's what I'm going to do, anyway.
Friends (1994)
Overrated
"Friends" is probably the most overrated thing to ever come out of the USA, along with "American Beauty". The characters in this "sitcom" are all so unrealistic and childish, the jokes are getting so stale from over-use and the likes of Lisa Kudrow and Matthew Perry have been wasted. Ever since Phoebe's songs disappeared, this show has no reason to live, and I'm still trying to work out why it's so popular. OK, the cast is young and pretty, but that's about it. Every time I watch witty shows like "Frasier" and "Cybill", I think about what a shame it is that other sitcoms, especially "Cybill" didn't get as much popularity as they should have, thanks to the boring curse of "Friends".
California Dreams (1992)
OH PLEASE!
Can these teen sitcoms get any "schmaltz"-ier? Teens: Big issues. Big "jokes". Big whoop. Isn't that just like "Saved By The Bell"? Give me "Student Bodies" anyday.
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
MI2
Hello? Tom Cruise, are you okay? Oh, you are. I thought there was something seriously wrong with you. But wait, there is...you made a SEQUEL to one of the very few action flicks I've ever liked!! Just one phrase describes MI2: "oh, puh-lease..."
Nightmare Street (1998)
Above-Average TV Movie!
* * * Contains SPOILER! * * *
I am NOT a fan of TV movies. They're usually boring, about teenage pregnancy, or a lot like soap operas. But "Nightmare Street" is different.
To be honest, I almost didn't watch it because of the name (it sounded like a cheap, lame horror flick), but I'm so glad I did! It had me hooked from beginning to end. The story is about a woman who is hit by a car and wakes up in a parallel world in the body of a female murderer who looks like her.
I won't say any more other than "WATCH IT NOW!!!"
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Less "MARS ATTACKS!", more "SLEEPY HOLLOW"!
Everyone who knows me is sick and tired of listening to me rave about "Sleepy Hollow", so why not put it down in writing?
First, I'd like to give Tim Burton a piece of advise: "Do you want people to love you? Then make more movies like "Sleepy Hollow". Do you want people to leave before the movie's even ended? Then make more movies like "Mars Attacks!"...."
"Sleepy Hollow" is absolute perfection: it's creepy, beautiful, dark, but also funny. I've seen it 5 times, for God's sake! Christina Ricci is wonderful!!! Johnny Depp is, too! And Christopher Walken... well, LESS WORDS, MORE ACTION... BIGGER ATTRACTION! I never guessed who the culprit was, and I was on the edge of my seat from beginning to end.
Shame on all of those who gave it below 10/10! "I curse the day you came to Sleepy Hollow"... :)
Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)
Drop Dead Laughing
This is definitely one of my favourite movies EVER, because it is just SO damn witty, and so hilarious that you'll be falling on the floor laughing!
It's a satirical black comedy, completely shameless, crude, mean and just plain wicked.
The stars are all brilliant, the plot is devilishly clever, and the humour is unforgettable!
Thanks to New Line Cinema for this fabulous, once-in-a-lifetime movie, and congrats to Denise Richards for keeping a straight face in that hilarious song-and-dance about how much she loves Jesus! A CLASSIC!