GMTMaster Reviews

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

Less money on effects and more thought in a good script....

[2/10 · 25 May 2007]

Once mind is blown away, when sitting through the 170 minutes of Pirates of the Caribbean. In a negative way that is. I just walked out of a packed theater in Hamburg, and guess what, the audience was really, really happy to see some light again. No emotional ride whatsoever. The movie is just overblown with effects and effects and some wired performance by Mr. Rolling Stone himself. Where was the story? Because there was not one story but so many of them, that I lost count. I could really tell anymore, where the hell are they now, who is chasing who and where has Johnny Depp lost his integrity to the role he once so brilliantly gave birth to? His character is just stumbling through a maze of a pirate flick, that will do another billion dollars at the box office, but will not touch heart and soul. An CGI Effect loaded 170 minutes film doesn't equal automatically into a good film, Bruckheimer should know, I should have known….

Goldene Zeiten (2006)

No structure

[2/10 · 1 February 2006]

Peter's script doesn't know what it wants the be: a comedy, a drama, a mix between. The central character is not very likable, we dot care for his problems. And then again, the whole "Charity Golf Turnament" set up is so weak. The entire story lacks structure. It doesn't sparkle any interest. Peter tried obviously hard, actors are as usual all great, so is the cinematography, but when hardly anyone laughs at the Berlin premiere, which I attended, then you have a major problem at hands. The audience doesn't care, nor did the original distributer "Senator Film" who also happens to be a co-producer of the film. They didn't believe in the film so they put it on the market and newcomer 3L picked the film up. Terribly first weeks numbers; only some 27.000 people went to see the film on the weekend. Next time more luck Peter.

Papa und Mama (2006)

Stunning

[10/10 · 4 January 2006]

Dieter Wedel should forget about creating mafia pics. for he is famous or anything else with shady characters, he is a master of the romantic comedy and drama! "Papa and Mama" is as good as it gets for a n y TV mini series. Wounderful and original characters, set in a serious but not hopeless situation - modern day divorce. The individual situations are plausible, make you cry, laugh, and wonder... Wedels direction is rather elegant, feature film like, no hard cuts, or funny angles. He gives his story time to evolve, to go deep into the characters, to let the audience go under the sheets. Needless to say the actors do the rest, everyone a surprise, but that is on of Wedels trademarks. Toping the mini is a wonderful, always at ease, camera, and an exceptional soundtrack of classic 60s Hollywood songs. If you missed it, get the DVD or watch a rerun, which the ZDF will definitely do any year, for the next eight to come.

The Airlift (2005 TV Movie)

A great premise, a miserable result

[3/10 · 28 November 2005]

What a fantastic premise: A movie about the Berlin Airlift. It should have it all. Tragedy. Suspense. Comradeship. Rivals. Berliner Frauleins and tough US pilots. love and Tears. What we've got, is a film with none of the above. Heino Ferch tries to impersonate John Wayne or so, but he fails miserably. He acts so wooden, that at any given moment he should crack. He tries to play the tough guy, instead of being a tough guy! Why would Bettina Zimmermann's character fall in love with him? Cause they were throwing stones in a lake? Cause he brings her coal bricks? The SFX are very, very well done. Too much though. The hundreds or so planes over Berlin, look like an attack-fighter-formation-squadron rather than an organised airlift – as it actually was. Interestingly enough, the White House, the Kremlin, and General Lucius D. Clays office seem all to be one and the same dark and dusty set. Notice the same drapes, hanging deep down the windows, as if a protective shield against nuclear fallout. Why is almost every scene INSIDE dark and dusty? By the way, GENERAL LUCIUS D. CLAY, comes across as a small time, insecure, looser General, who doest trust in his own noble idea the airlift. He was very much the opposite. So you combine all those individual blunders and the result is a film with that builds toward no passion, no suspense and no historic accuracy. Sad, it started out so promising

Once Upon a Time in America (1984)

The No. 1 Film of all TIMES, sorry Steven and George...

[10/10 · 25 September 2005]

Sometimes everyone can be wrong. This masterpiece of a story, a film, a personal travesty for Sergio Leone is a disaster for modern day Hollywood. Released in the mid 1980s the film got lost between the "Burt Reynolds Ficks" – can one imagine…? Sergio got screwed, and subsequently got taken off the film. Meaning some Joe Shmoe took over. If you don't know this film take the love of your life to watch it, breath it, feel it, and truly enjoy it. Film-making doesn't get any better!!!! – sorry Mr. Spielberg, you'd wish had a film like that one – " Empire the Sun" is close ….- Tim Tremper and we have to go for another two damn lines, as I Said this nain't getting better at all. It is truly magnificente, nothing more, nothing less...

Basic Instinct (1992)

Plot holes, don't worry

[10/10 · 25 September 2005]

People, damn, get rid of the idea or fact about plot holes! Take the best and most loved flick of all time, and there is always a PLOT HOLE. Any story you will tell your kids will have plot holes! This movie, is about rhythm, story, sex, acting, photography and directing, all make this flick a great COOPER FILM. Nothing more, nothing less... but it is sexy and the damn PC San Fran gay society made it their cause to go public. So what, 15 years later some Joe Shome from Germany writes those lines, ans some guy gets angry... For those of you who don't know the flick, go buy it - never rent a film.... now I have to write another line of my thoughts about the flick....wish Joe - the writer - best of luck with his fight for cancer .

Creep (I) (2004)

The scariest part was Frankas yellow dress

[1/10 · 15 March 2005]

The scariest part was Frankas yellow dress…

The story with mild spoilers is told in a heartbeat. Franka plays a hip party girl, who can't get a taxi in London, and thus decides to take the last underground train. Hey, can't get a cab in London…? Welcome to reality, but anyways, while waiting for the train, Franka falls asleep. She finally wakes up, and she is all alone in the underground station. Not really all alone, when very soon "something" hunts her down. So far so good, but give us a break with the "Hunter". Who is the monster? We can only guess. Some loony who enjoys killing people. Classic part is, whenever Franka or her black buddy beat the living daylights out of the "thing", they don't finish the job – if they would the damn movie would be over. And so Franka keeps on running from one underground station to the other, … what a waste that flick is. No suspense, the "Thing" is completely ludicrous. And the mindless scene where the one girl is strapped to an operating table, is an insult to anyone who thought they'd see an descent horror film. Franka said in an interview, that she is happy she doesn't have a US Agent who presents her with "American Pie 12". Well, Franka your current agent seems to suck and there sure ain't nothing wrong with a descent "American Pie". Go run back home

Rosenstrasse (2003)

Disappointing failure of an important theme.

[3/10 · 20 February 2005]

Overall an extremely disappointing picture. Very, very slow build up to the basic storyline. The role of Maria Schrader searching for her families secret past. (Every take seems to last forever…. There is really no rhythm in the film.) ***SPOILERS*** Her Mother Ruth is rescued from the Nazis, by a German woman, played by Katja Riemann. The entire character of Ruth is so one dimensional, so stereotypical. ***SPOILERS END*** The film cuts back and forth between present day New York and Berlin and Berlin 40s something. Please when you do that, give the audience an indication of what time exactly the story takes place. There is never a clear indication of time – very annoying. Worst part is, the end. ***SPOILERS*** The entire show and jabber about the Jews being so terribly tormented, simply by a bureaucratic accident! Give me a break. That's how the Jews got out of the Rosenstrasse? The question of who freed the Jews is NEVER answered. Was is Goebels who freed them? Did Lean Fischer sleep with Goebels? In Venice the film won an acting award for K. Riemann, why? – I have no idea. Must be the Jewish theme

A Very Long Engagement (2004)

Magic !

[10/10 · 2 February 2005]

You walk out of this motion picture and are at awe. This is what cinema is all about: Being transported into a different world, WWI and 1920. Superb story of a young woman looking for her lost fiancée and not giving up in the long process. Absolutely marvellous pictures with breathtaking SFX of Paris locations. The war scenes are as shocking as Spielberg's "Private Ryan" film maybe even more… Take your love interest and enjoy this truly magic picture.

Only too sad for the (French) makers of the film, that it was classified as a NOT French production, 'cause of US Money (Warner Bros.). (Budget in the 50 Mil Euro range ) Wasn't therefore eligible for Best Foreign film. Very few admissions in the US, same sad story as in Leone's "Once upon the time in America". 20 years from now, it'll be regarded as a Masterpiece.

Blood of the Templars (2004 TV Movie)

Some good moments, so many bad ones

[2/10 · 12 December 2004]

Some good moments, so many bad ones

This made for TV movie has definitely some good moments, no it's not the script, that's a bad moment – it's the locations for example. Shot in Lithuania, with some truly breathtaking views of the former Russian enclave.

Story sets around the legendary temple knights and, yes you guessed it, 'Highlander'. (Twist your neck again and again bad fellow) Young student (Mirko Land) doesn't know he is a chosen one, a direct descendant of one of the founding temple members…. Bad thing is, he is wanted by both his parents, his evil mom and noble dad. (Harald Krassnitzer – He's really good) and then it's about the holy grail – again… Minus point: Absolutely cool sword fights (for a TV Movie) are completely and utterly ruined with loud and cheep computer music. Why? Why on earth do German TV Movies have to have an abundance of music in all the wrong places. This one is no. 1 for worst sound design and music, EVER in MOVIE. Watch any US / GB / FRENCH sword fights and voila, the less music the better – morons. To round it up. Whatever happened to former beauty Catherine Flemming? Here she looks like a mob and is completely out of place acting wise. Two part miniseries, good ratings but lost about 1 Million viewers on the second part. No wonder, 'you can fool some of the people some of the time, but not all the people all times…'

Shark Attack in the Mediterranean (2004 TV Movie)

Flimsy story that works for teenagers

[1/10 · 18 October 2004]

Flimsy story that works for teenagers

Where to begin, where to stop, in this 'Jaws' rip off made for TV?

Rolf Moeller plays a tough former marine diver, living with his daughter all alone on the Spanish island Mallorca. A shark is roaming the waters, but not your ordinary shark. An ancient species supposedly extinct since 100.000 years. A couple of people die, till the secret of the sharks existent is revealed and Rolf could finish his personal vendetta, since this very shark had killed his wife three year back…

Did you notice Rolf never took his shirt of in this flick? Great you hire 6'6' actor Moeller and have him act in a leather jacket on a summer vacation island. I don't expect Rolf to act, but pump it up man… The story is so flimsy its real hard not to laugh all the time through. Best part is Janet Biedermann, (German starlet) who appears out of nowhere so she can plug her singing career. SFX on the shark aren't too bad for TV, while the sharks teeth are simply laughable. RTL produced this mindless story and shoots huge ratings, that's how TV works – unfortunately

Joe and Max (2002 TV Movie)

The flick can't be seen in Germany...

[2/10 · 12 February 2004]

A movie about Germany's greatest box champion, played by Germany's biggest box office star - at least some time ago - and it can't be seen in Germany. This summons up the quality of the flick and the actors, don't you think...?!

Samba in Mettmann (2004)

What a pleasant surprise

[8/10 · 22 January 2004]

"Samba" is a fast moving small but very funny screwball comedy, set in a German small town called Mettmann. HP Kerkeling plays the son of the owner of the local dry cleaner, and he has a "small problem". His fiancee doesn't want to sleep with him, until their wedding night, which is in three month. To make matters worse he stumbles across three brasilian Samba girls, who'll turn the small town of Mettmann into a huge chaos. Good directing. Go see it.

Eddie Murphy: Raw (1987)

What a show

[10/10 · 16 September 2003]

Imagine: You produce the taping of the show for, let's be generous, for about 1 Million US$. We're talking six to eight cameras. Then you take the show to the theaters and gross a cool 50.000.000 ! This can only work, when you tape Eddie Murphy on stage in on of the best comedy shows ever! Saw it live in L.A. What a great timing the guy has. Get a chance and see the VHS (where is the DVD?) and you'll have the best of times, while you're at it, grab a "momma burger" and a beer.

Das Tal der Schatten (1999)

What a waste!

[1/10 · 4 January 2003]

A great example of a truly boring and mindless film. What a waste of acting talent. Even late night TV viewing doesn't help this experiment of a German horror / mystery film. The special effects seem to have come straight out of film-school first semester, but the worst aspect about this film is the mindless screenplay. A woman (N. Wörner) stumbles upon an ancient heart and is taken by its deadly spell. Now she begins to kill her husband, a nightclub owner, why him??, and finally, to loose the spell again, she has to kill a group of children. Whoever thought of such a lame story? There seems to be no direction and the usually good actors stumble from one scene to another. 1 out of 10

The Hunt for the Hidden Relic (2002 TV Movie)

One of the worst scripts ever

[2/10 · 6 December 2002]

One has to watch the truly ill fated JESUS VIDEO till the end to fully grasp the mindless screenplay that went into this so called "Event" production. A young archeologist student (total misscast - Koerbelin) finds by accident a 2000 year old instruction book to a Sony Video Cam. With it a mysterious letter, that leads to the assumption that Jesus was filmed with this Camera. Sounds good, since this is the basic plot outline from the novel, which this film is based upon. What happens next is 180 minutes of a boring chase between typical bad guys (of course all dressed in black) and a week archeologist student. The Mossad, a secret Vatikan brotherhood and a rich US guy are after the camera. "Action" takes place in Israel and everybody speaks fluent German. Everybody is chasing the student and whoever the student meets is being killed after a minute or two. A shameless rip off of a plot-point from "The Marathon Man" tops the dull script. Also this must be an action film where there is more talk than action. The acting is beyond words. The DOP, however is a small highlight, but doesn't help over a bad direction. Who are they trying to fool with this boring and mindless story? I'll give it 2 out of 10.

The Antman (2002)

pure fun to watch

[10/10 · 10 August 2002]

I saw the antman at the fantasy film fest and was totally surprised. What on earth was the director thinking - this is a truly fun movie. Something you can't say about Germany films in general. The story takes place in Mexico in the strange and deserted village Campo del Sol. Mexican war hero Don Jose (Götz "is-he-sexy" Otto)takes his just married wife home to meet the family - but there is none. Only strange people, like the major (Elisabeth Volkmann) who swares and sings all the time and is married to an indian (Goiko Mitic) - what a great casting! On the other side of the street lives a totally luny man, who turns out to be a mexican super bad guy. A man who wants to cross ants with humans - and he picks the heros wife. Does it sound like the plot to a B Movie. It sure is, but one with a lot of fun and singing. This is new in German cinema - we need more of that. Sit back and enjoy the antman and sing along.

Thunder Point (1998 TV Movie)

what a waste

[1/10 · 9 August 2002]

The novel by Higgins is one of his best. Strange how the producers didn't see the potential in this story. Just take the novel and adapt the screenplay. But no. The producer had to buy a lousy script. The direction is beyond words - the actors had no chance. Real dull movie, no thrills whatsoever. I only hope Mr. Higgins got well paid for his film-rights. What a shame and waste of money

Ace of Aces (1982)

Belmondo at its best

[8/10 · 29 June 2002]

This movie is a fine example of fun adventure, set in hard times. Belmondo plays french boxing coach, who travels to the 1936 Berlin Olympics. Naturally he gets in all kind of trouble and saves a jewish family from deporation. Sound no fun? Well it is, the whole theme is played very light hearted and real fun to watch.

Sass (2001)

Great potential, but wasted

[2/10 · 8 February 2002]

The true story of the two brothers living and dying in the Berlin 30 doesn't grab you at all - unfortunately. So much money for nothing, I mean the budget. The music seems to be stolen from "Once upon the time in America", the director, well he is known for tv movies... Good enough for VHS or DVD

Mister Boogie (2000)

worst picuture i have ever seen

[1/10 · 20 July 2001]

this film has not been released yet in germany and i don't think it will ever be. seen it on vhs copy and have to warn anyone. no story, no acting and no directing whatsoever. who finances such pictures? What were the producers thinking? A waste of money and time

Falling Rocks (2000)

cool (hot) film set in africa

[9/10 · 3 April 2001]

one of the better german films. Great photography and a really suspenseful story made this movie one of the best of the year. Watched it late night on german tv. Normally you know who the murder is in one of those who-might-be-the-murder films, but this one is absolutely shocking.