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Reviews
Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
The only thing I didn't like about it was that it made me like Adam Sandler.
While watching "Punch Drunk Love" you wait for Adam Sandler to do something stupid, something asinine and idiotic. He does, but he also does strange, interesting, puzzling and sweet things as well. Sandler is actually acting, actually portraying someone other than Adam Sandler and he is great. Concise is a word others use to describe the story, direction and movie time, and I can agree with that. There is nary a wasted moment to be had. The writing is great, with nuanced and sophisticated dialogue that shapes complex characters with only a few sentences. Brief exchanges in dialogue build more complex and interesting characters than some movies do in hours. This film has depth and it is very surprising and satisfying. The only thing I didn't like about it was that it made me like Adam Sandler.
Begotten (1989)
The Horror...
"Shadow of the Vampire" wasn't great by any means - and vastly overrated, but "Begotten" makes that film look like a piece of classic cinema. The very height of pointless abstraction and meandering pretension, "Begotten" shares nothing with its audience other than animosity. Dull, witless and utterly, utterly empty of anything redeeming, the film seems to be impressed with itself, simply for being unbearably different than a watchable movie. It's just not worth the time.
Bats (1999)
a public service message from your friend, unknown dave.
I would just like to warn any viewers who may decide to rent "Bats" or spend precious time watching on a pay cable station to please stay as far away from this movie as you possibly can. I have a feeling that if this website had the option of a "0" score, "Bats" would be blessed with many of them. This is one of the most feeble attempts at a film in quite some time - although, I still haven't seen "Battlefield Earth" - and again, I would like to warn any possible viewers to steer clear of this terribly acted, plotted, paced, directed, edited, possibly even catered movies that has come out of the oily Hollywood machine in some time. Do not watch this film. Do not, under any circumstances, watch this film. It is so bad, one cannot watch it with the sole intent of ridiculing the film, as it leaves the viewer depressed and in need of several high priced behavior modification drugs. Thank you.
Hurlyburly (1998)
Funny like a head wound.
Over-acted and without a real point, Hurlyburly collapses under it's own weight. Somehow, watching hedonistic narcissists try to find a reason for their coked up existence isn't that enthralling. Kevin Spacey is brilliant as usual, giving his lines an acerbic sting. Sean Penn is all free association and limb flailing. This movie is definaiely dark, but is sure isn't a dark comedy. Somebody should tell the director that just because his characters are patheticly ridiculous and in a drug induced forum debating life, sex, power and death, it isn't ha-ha funny. It's funny like a head wound.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
what was he(George Lucas)thinking?
Could this picture have been worse? Well, yeah but not much. For easy reading purposes, the top five reasons why it was a waste of money:
1. NEEDLESS RACIAL STEREOTYPES: Yeah, fun. Tell me the aliens (sorry, can't remember the name of the race) who took over Naboo weren't supposed to be of Asian ancestry. We nehd approovahl ohf the sin-naat. Sure. Nearly every alien was supposed to be some ethnicity. Insulting. 2. REALLY REALLY BAD DIALOGUE: Wooden and unfeeling. Did Anakin and the Queen really have an exchange that went, "I care for you" and "My caring for you will remain"? Or did I imagine it? Lousy. 3. BADBADBAD BAD BAD ACTING: Yes, they had good actors(except the children), but with no characters to play and no dialogue to say how good could you be? Plus, any movie that totally wastes Ewan MacGregor should be burned. 4. JAR JAR: Ok, you defend him. Unfunny in every way possible. Fake looking too. 5. NO BUILD UP FOR THE VILLAIN: Sorry, but you can't show Maul just standing around looking vaguely sinister a few times and expect the audience to be care about the climatic battle scene at the end. Plus, he looked like an Insane Clown Posse roadie. Zero character development for the villain. For everyone actually.
Sorry to rain on anyone's delusional parade but this movie was just made to fatten the bank accounts of Lucasfilm.
Cube (1997)
don't read this if you liked "cube"
"Cube" is a near-worthless excuse for a movie. Pitiful acting, a lousy script and grade zero production values. All this would be bad enough had the movie's premise not had some promise. Memo to the filmmakers: You're supposed to make the audience care about the characters, not hate them. Not worth the price of a rental. grade: D-