baumer Reviews

The Internship (2013)

One of the under rated films of the last decade

[9/10 · 2 April 2021]

I think when this film came out everybody was expecting and hoping for another Wedding Crashers. This film wasn't well reviewed by critics and it wasn't well received by an audience. It opened softly and finished softly. People seemed to be angry over the fact that it was about working at a real company, Google. Others seem to lament the fact that it wasn't a laugh out loud comedy like Wedding Crashers.

But I think as the years have gone by and people have had a chance to revisit this film perhaps more people see it the way I saw it when it first came out. To me there were sporadic moments of hilarity but more importantly it was a film that I think transcends generations. For people in their 40s like me who aren't technology wizards, I could relate to both Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. And for the younger generation that might know everything about Chrome and Gmail and Excel and so on the film also spoke to them about the trials and tribulations and difficulties of finding your way in the world. Vince Vaughn was one of the writers and I think he perfectly captures a snapshot into the hopes and fears of both generations and at the same time understands that hard work still does pay off.

Maybe a lot of people won't find this film hilarious but I'm not one of those people. I actually enjoyed this film for the dichotomy that is presented to us. I loved the pop culture references that the young kids seem to come up with every different scene and I loved that Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn's characters were relied upon for life experience and for their sales experience.

I also absolutely loved the cast. Of course you have Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson but then you add in Rose Byrne, basically a cameo appearance by a mostly silent Josh Gad and then a bunch of young and upcoming actors led by Dylan O'Brien , Tiya Sircar and Tobit Raphael. But perhaps my favorite character in the movie was Mr Chetty who was played by Asif Mandvi. There was a lot of honesty in the examination of these characters but there was also a lot of hilarity.

I think my favorite scene in the film is when Nick played by Owen Wilson and Dana played by Rose Byrne finally go on a date and she tells him that she needs him to be a typical bad date that she's experienced over the last 10 years. And then in mocking fashion he completely belittles her and makes fun of her while at dinner telling her that she's not allowed to eat what she's eating because she's getting fat and that she has to pay the bill and so on and so on. It was such an honest way of flirting with one another and it was beautifully written and beautifully acted by both Rose and Owen.

The Internship is one of my favorite movies of the last decade. There's not a lot of grandiose moments but there's more quiet introspective observations and a lot of '80s references and a myriad of other pop culture mentions. From Flashdance to Harry Potter to the X-Men and so much more in between this film really covers the gauntlet of Pop culture.

I would highly recommend this movie to anybody who avoided it because they thought it was an advertisement for Google or because they heard it was nothing like Wedding Crashers. Both of those might be true but that doesn't take away from my enjoyment of the film and I don't think it would from yours either.

9/10.

Boss Level (2020)

Groundhog Day with bullets and beheadings

[8/10 · 25 March 2021]

Boss level is an adrenaline rush of an action film. It's got a terrific cast, it moves at a breakneck pace and the hand-to-hand combat is the highlight of the film.

Leading the charge into the this frenetic movie is one of the most charismatic actors of the last 10 years in my opinion and that would be Frank Grillo.

Just recently I saw a movie called pride and Glory with Edward Norton and an almost unrecognizable Frank grillo. It came out in 2008 and I don't know what happened to Grillo after that. He completely transformed his physical appearance. He went from an actor who could be any other actor that just blends into the scenery and then metamorphosized into a man who looks like he was chiseled out of stone. And it's not just his muscle tone it's his entire ethos and attitude. Frank Grillo oozes charisma on screen. This generation probably knows him because of the Marvel universe where he played Crossbones. And if that's all you know him from you need to go out and find some of his other work. Films like The purge election year, The purge anarchy, Zero Dark thirty and then his betrayal of big Daddy in Wolf Warrior 2. Grillo is someone who I will watch in any film because of what he brings to each and every character.

I only bring up this little bit of history with Frank Grillo because I read that originally the studio did not want Frank as the lead actor. Director Joe Carnahan fought for him and eventually got his way. And you can see what Carnahan sees. Grillo just brings the intensity that this character needs and he brings it to life.

The film has Frank Grillo dying everyday for what seems to be eternity. Each day that he dies he gets further and further into unraveling the mystery as to why he is dying. Along the way we are treated to beheadings, bodies being blown apart, helicopters with cannons for guns, street fights, brawls, sword fights and everything else you can basically imagine. The script is sharp and funny and really META in a lot of ways as well. It also slows down from time to time to develop an estranged father and son relationship.

I'm not really going to give away much more of the plot than to say that if you think you'll enjoy Frank Grillo kicking the crap out of people and in turn get in the crap kicked out of him while trying to find out why he keeps dying every day on a perpetual loop then this is definitely the film for you.

8/10

Pulse (I) (2006)

Wes Cravens story about the dangers of technology

[7/10 · 25 March 2021]

Pulse is not a great horror film but it's certainly not a bad one either. It's 15 years old at this point which makes the film kind of slightly ahead of its time. The story centers around a virus of some sort that has deadly consequences for those who come in contact with it. There's an evil entity or life force that lives inside of a computer and like a lot of other horror movie plots it needs human beings to come alive.

The one thing I didn't care about in the movie was the use of the color blue. It becomes incredibly annoying when every other scene makes you feel cold and dreary. I guess I can understand why the director and the cinematographer wanted it to be that way but there was a lot of overkill with it. And it kind of has an effect on you when you're watching the film. It makes you feel cold and dreary.

What was enjoyable is that there are some shocking moments in the film. There's a few scenes that made me gasp and there's some good suspense and a few well done scares. And it has to be said that Kristen Bell is just one of the most beautiful actresses in my opinion. I could simply just watch her for 2 hours in a film and enjoy it on some level. Roger Ebert once said about Harry Dean Stanton that no film that he is in could actually be totally bad because Harry and Stanton is just so good. I'm not saying Kristen Bell is as good as an actor as Harry Dean Stanton but she has a presence on screen.

Overall Pulse is worth seeing even if it's just once. It moves pretty quickly, it's pretty well directed and if you can get past the cold and dreary blue images you might enjoy yourself for the 90 minutes that you're there.

But, what the hell was up with the red masking tape?

7/10

The Rhythm Section (2020)

Lots to like but a little confusing

[8/10 · 25 March 2021]

The rhythm section is based on a book by writer Mark Burnell. Something tells me that the book would explain things a lot better than the movie does. Here's a story with international conspiracy theories, cia, MI6 and all kinds of different terrorist factions all in the same story. At the heart of the film is Stephanie Patrick and the loss of her family. They were on a flight that supposedly crashed over the ocean. When in reality there was a bomb placed on that plane and it blew up in mid-flight killing all the passengers. Stephanie was supposed to be on that flight with her family including her parents but for one reason or another she decided not to fly with them.

Stephanie is an ordinary person who gets involved in a world full of espionage and terrorism. There's a lot to like about the film but as I mentioned in the title it's also a bit confusing especially at the end when it supposedly all comes together.

I read a lot of reviews in here and for those who hate the movie they hate the fact that Stephanie is kind of useless. She gets trained to go into the field by a former MI6 agent played by Jude law. He teaches her to shoot a gun, hand-to-hand combat and other skills she's going to need to get into the nefarious world she's about to enter. But she's still a normal human being and 8 months of training is not going to make her a super assassin. If you're looking for a movie that is similar to Jennifer Garner's Peppermint, this one is kind of the complete opposite.

And I think that's the reason why I did enjoy this. Blake lively play Stephanie as someone who is hell-bent on revenge. All she thinks about is avenging her family's death. But she is not a spy, she is not an agent and she is no more ready for what she's about to do than you and I would be. And that's the refreshing part about it. When she gets in way over her head she has to use a lot more than just what she's been taught to survive.

Lively is the heart and soul of the movie and she gives a terrific performance. Jude law also gives a fantastic interpretation of a villified and ostracized former MI6 agent. He doesn't care for Stephanie at first but they share a common goal and their chemistry together is one of the fun parts of the film.

I enjoyed the rhythm section. It's not as slick and fast moving as something like peppermint or atomic blonde but it does allow us to get inside of Stephanie's world and I like being a part of that.

8/10

Stay Out of the F**king Attic (2020)

Starts off slow but really picks up

[7/10 · 20 March 2021]

The very first thing I noticed and loved about the film was the score. It had a lot of Charles Bernstein's A Nightmare on Elm Street in it. In fact there were a few seconds or so where I think it did take some of the notes from the Bernstein score. That set the tone for the movie and it got me right into it. It made me feel that something ominous was about to take place.

Unfortunately the film does start off really poorly and unfortunately that does have to do with the female lead who was like nails on a chalkboard to me. I just didn't care for her character or the actors interpretation of how it was written. But as things move along and the three characters get into the house to start moving, the writer and the director smartly start peeling the onion for us. We get to know a bit about the characters and their background and this lays the tracks for the meat and potatoes of the movie.

We meet the owner of the house named Vern Mueller. He's a very old looking gentleman with a very thick German accent and right away he makes you feel uncomfortable. The actors do a great job of conveying this unease as we are living vicariously through them. They are offered an insane some of money to make sure this enormous house is cleaned out in one night. So off they go to work trying to dismantle the house as quickly as they can. But then along the way strange things are noticed. There's an old German lock on one of the doors and the movers are told that they are not to go in the attic and not to go in the basement.

I won't give any more of the plot away than that because once you start putting things together and you realize who people really are and what their end game really is, the film does a great job of making you feel uneasy. The film is only about 80 minutes long and I enjoyed the last half of it immensely. There's some really good practical effects and some fantastic Tom savini like Gore. There's no CGI from what I can tell and just some good old-fashioned makeup and prosthetics.

Most of the reviews here seem to be either from people who really dislike it or just from people that were a bit apathetic to it. I definitely enjoyed the film and I'd recommend it.

7/10

Coming 2 America (2021)

Terrible sequel

[1/10 · 5 March 2021]

Another reviewer in here mentioned that for everything that Cobra Kai gets right in the nostalgia department coming to America part 2 gets wrong. It seems like almost every character from the first makes an appearance in this one. But where they get it wrong is that very few of these characters really add anything to the movie. And someone forgot to tell them that coming to America was a comedy because coming to America part 2 is void of laughs. People sometimes hyperbolize when they are angry at a movie they thought they were going to like but in this case I can be honest with you and tell you I'm not exaggerating when I say I didn't laugh once in this film.

One thing that brings this film down is Tracy Morgan. He brings down most films that he's in and here he adds nothing and he's annoying most of the time. The Leslie Jones character is flat-out horribly written as well. There's not one shred of honesty in anything that she says or does with the exception of her reaction to getting bathed by the royal bather.

Where as the original had charm and humor and a lot of fun characters this one recycles the same old jokes except they don't work this time. Eddie Murphy maybe just isn't funny anymore. He'll always be a comic genius to me but maybe you just get complacent and lazy when you get older.

The runtime was around an hour and 45 minutes and I think a half an hour of it was spent on dancing. It felt like every 15 or 20 minutes there was another 10 minute dance sequence. You do it once but three or four times just gets to be excessive.

Unfortunately the characters that we do like from the original, like Lisa McDowell and her father, Louie Anderson and especially Semi are just given cursory glances and really don't have anything to do in the film. We needed more soul glow and more sexual chocolate and more humor. We might have even needed John Landis to bring his eye for detail to the film.

Coming to America joins the ranks of other horrible sequels to beloved films. There is even a sequence in the film where two of the characters talk about the sad state of Hollywood and that all that really exists right now are superhero films remakes reimaginings and sequels to films that nobody asked for. They should have realized that instead of this being tongue-in-cheek it was actually 100% true.

1/10

Northwood Pie (2019)

You can't do nothing and expect something to happen

[9/10 · 22 August 2020]

Some films are timeless, not because of the way they look but because of the way they understand people. I grew up in the 80's with directors like John Hughes and Cameron Crowe, and they wrote some of the most iconic characters of my time. Jeff Spicolli, John Bender, Ducky Dale and Brad Hamilton, just to name a very few. What made those two writers so good is their ability to understand the youth they wrote about. Jay Salahi and Todd Knaak might well be on their way to becoming the next Crowe or Hughes. I don't say that lightly. Greatness is something you earn and with this being their first feature film, they have certainly shown that they are well on their way.

There are spoilers from here on out so if you don't want to know anything about the film, stop here and just know that I love this movie and hope everyone gets a chance to see it.

Todd Knaak plays Crispin, who might be named such as an homage to Back to the Future (another character in this film is named Lloyd, another BTTF nod), as it is just one of a plethora of films that this film either mentions or displays on screen. He's a young slacker who has never had a job in his life and when he goes for his first interview, his hair in flowing in all different directions and his shirt is old and full of holes. This doesn't seem to deter the boss as he gives him the job on the spot. Crispin likes to get high and he likes to hang out with friends but he has no idea what he wants to do with his life. But upon getting his first job at Northwood Pie, he starts to learn about himself. It's here that he meets Sierra. Annika Foster plays her and there is a familiarity and a comfort to this character. Watching her you feel like you know her. Part of this is the terrific dialogue by the co-writers but much of it is also that Foster has a natural likability. She's the kind of character that anyone would fall for. She's sweet, smart, articulate, beautiful and also has no clue what she wants to do with her life.

Crispin and Sierra start up a beautiful friendship but it's clear they both want more from one another. Never is it more apparent than my favourite scene in the movie where the two of them are sitting on a curb overlooking LA, and they just talk for almost four minutes with only a few camera cuts. They talk about nothing and everything all at the same time. She even tells him that there's something about him that she likes. But unfortunately for Crispin, he doesn't seem to be ready to "close the deal". While this scene is my favourite in the movie, there's another scene that set my intestines on fire. It takes place at a party and let's just say there's shades of Last American Virgin at this party. Even Sierra's LAV moment reminds me of Diane Franklin. It's such a well written and acted scene and the terrific thing about it neither writers have seen Last American Virgin.

On the lighter side of things, this film pays homage to so many other films that the director probably grew up with. There's shades of Swingers, Dazed and Confused, Clerks and even some Silver Linings Playbook. There's posters of Jurassic Park, The Shining and A Clockwork Orange. And Crispin is such a nerd that even though he could jerk off to about 100 different porn sites, he still chooses to do so watching slave Leia. Brilliant.

There's also a scene for film lovers only where Salahi has a cameo and his name is "Hayden". In this scene he discovers that one of the other characters has a new potential girlfriend but the main drawback is that her favourite Star Wars film is Attack of the Clones. It's very esoteric but so incredibly funny.

Northwood Pie is a low budget independent film with a first time director and a cast of mostly unknowns and yet it doesn't feel that way at all. These actors play off of one another like they were veterans and if this had of come out in the 80's you would of had actors like Andrew McCarthy, Emilio Estevez and Ally Sheedy playing prominent roles. Besides the two leads, many of the secondary characters make the film feel so real and so make us feel connected to the world they inhabit. My favourite secondary character is Anthony who is even more of a slacker than Crispin and he has the look and persona of a young Casey Affleck. There's also some really good secondary stories for these characters. When you find out about Lloyd and Jordan and why Lloyd's hat is so important, you might have to hold back the tears.

It's a timeless film. Timeless because the themes in here are relevant today just as they were in the 70's and 80's and the 90's. Everyone wants to be loved. Friends will rib each other and growing up, we are all confused and don't know what we want out of life. I can't praise this film enough. From the JJ Abrams lens flairs, to the Star Wars nods to the subtle homages to films that Salahi and Knaak have probably never seen, this does pretty much everything right. I can't wait to see what Salahi and Knaak do for their follow up.

This will undoubtedly make my top ten of the year.

9/10

The Amityville Murders (2018)

Brings back the feel of the original and the first sequel.

[9/10 · 16 February 2019]

The Amityville Murders feels and looks much more like the first two did back in day. Part of what made Amityville Horror 1 and 2 so effective is that they allowed the story to build before bashing you in the face with all of the horror. I personally thought part 2 was scarier than the original (the original is a very fine film) and the reason for that is Sonny's possession and subsequent killing spree was really effective.

The Amityville Murders has a lot of the same feel as the original sequel and it even benefits from a little wink to the audience as Burt Young and Diane Franklin share the screen again for the first time since Amityville 2. They even play father and daughter again. I enjoyed seeing Burt Young on screen again.

Diane Franklin gives a really good performance here as Louise Defeo, in fact, she is the only reason I saw this film in the first place, as there have been many Amityville films over the years. Thankfully she was not the only good performance in the movie. John Robinson and Chelsea Rickets are both terrific as the two teenage Defeo kids. They are both bullied by their father, a mean, nasty SOB, played wonderfully by Paul Ben-Victor. But we didn't watch the Amityville Murders for good performances. The question is, is it scary and does it deliver. And the answer to both of these questions is yes.

By now you should know the story this is based on. Butch becomes possessed by the house and the demons that reside there. They go into a bit of an explanation as to why the house may be bad but the background info is secondary to how it is carried out. There is one part of the movie that gave me chills and it's the reason for why everyone in the family was killed face down. I won't ruin this part, but suffice to say, it's very chilling.

I enjoyed Amityville Murders. It was effective and it was scary when it needed to be. The last half hour is the best part of the movie but the buildup is also very well done. And it's great to see Diane Franklin go back to one of her earliest films and revisit it. All in all, if you liked the first two, then I think you'll like this one as well.

Assassination Nation (2018)

Without a doubt, one of the most disturbing films ever made!

[10/10 · 5 October 2018]

There's two types of people in this world. People who have come to terms with privacy being dead...and the old people who are trying to fight it.

Assassination Nation (2018)

This is the kind of film that reminds me of why I love movies so much. Yesterday I had the option of seeing Night School or this one. I basically flipped a coin and it came up tails. Thank the heavens it did and I got to see Assassination Nation. It shocked me in every way. It reminded me of and made me feel the same kind of emotions I felt when I first watched Last House on the Left. It's a film about the dehumanization of 4 young girls. In LHOTL, it was four deranged psychotics who tortured, raped and then killed two young girls and left their bodies to rot in the deep woods. This has similar thoughts except the forest is replaced with suburbia.

I will warn you, for those of you reading this, this will be ripe with spoilers. So tread carefully if you do plan on seeing the film.

This is without a doubt, one of the most disturbing films I've ever seen and it scared me more than any film has since perhaps the Ring in 2002. It's a shame no one is seeing this film at the theatres and perhaps the problem is it is listed as an action comedy. A comedy? Are you kidding me? There is nothing funny about this film and it should be listed as a horror. In fact, it took third place in the people's choice award for the Midnight Madness at TIFF in 2018. This is horrific and it left me shaking even after leaving the theatre. It's not a "dark and stormy night" kind of film and it's not masked undead killers coming after you with a kitchen knife. What makes this scary is that this is a true reflection of the world we are all a part of and what happened in this movie could happen to any one of us.

So what makes this film so powerful? Let's start with Brock Turner. Then let's mention the Dark Knight and then the Purge and Mean Girls and Heathers.

When a woman claims she has been raped or violated sexually, we make them come up with oodles of proof to corroberate her claim. In Brock Turner's case, we felt sorry for him because he wouldn't get to enjoy his Cheerios in prison. "Boys will be boys." Poor Brock Turner might not have a shot at a real life because poor Brock Turner didn't really rape someone, he just violated her while she was unconscious. In Assassination Nation, when a hacker in the city of Salem exposes everyone's private text messages and photos and videos and anything else out there in cyber-space, the town "loses it's mind". When it comes out that one of the young girls, Lily, MIGHT have been having an affair with a married man, one whom she babysat for, the town, including her parents, blame her. The ostracize her, she is kicked out of her own home, she is basically branded with a Scarlet Letter. Not once is the married man frowned upon. Not once does someone speak ill of the 42 year old married father with two children.

When the entire town is then hacked, people don't want to own up to their transgressions, they simply want to destroy the one who exposed them. The righteous hypocrites in small town America can't accept that they are flawed and impure. Instead they brand the young women (who are accused of being the hacker) as being home-wreckers and criminals and promiscuous troglodytes.

When I think about every site I've ever clicked on, every site I've ever ordered from, every movie I've ever watched on my phone or my PC, as innocent as it all might seem, if my personal private information was hacked and exposed, how would I be viewed? There's a scene of such monumental power in this film and it's when the principal's phone gets hacked, he gets excoriated by the town's folk for being a child molester because he has naked photo's of his 4 year old daughter on his phone. When Lily defends him to her parents saying, "Mom you have a naked photo of me when I was two sitting on the fireplace mantle, does that make you a child molester as well?"

It's so easy to have things misconstrued but what makes it worse is this is none of anyone else's business. This is people's privacy that is being hacked and exposed. Think about your personal life,think about the things you do when no one else is watching. Now imagine that being exposed for the whole world to see. It's scary.

David S. Goyer is one of about 25 producers on the film. He also wrote Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. All three films share similar themes and ideas. Both have "villains" who just want to watch the world burn. Both subscribe to the theory that injecting a little anarchy into the world is what we all need. And as the Joker says in TDK:

"You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve."

Those words are apropos for that movie for this movie and probably for life in general. When anarchy is introduced into this film and to the people who are in it, all hell breaks loose. And when you find out who is actually responsible for the hacks and why the person did it, they respond by saying, "I wanted to get some LOL's" You have a person willing to destroy lives just so they can get a few kicks.

Assassination Nation is relevant, it's horrific, it's ahead of the curve and it is scary as hell. It left me shaking and it left me with a myriad of thoughts and troubles racing through my head. It's expertly written, beautifully acted and directed with style and flair by Sam Levinson. The four young actresses all give knockout performances, each one of them bring power to their characters. Bella Thorne and Bill Skaarsgard show up to give us some recognizable faces but it's Odessa Young who walks away with the best performance. Look for her in the future. I can't recommend this film enough. Like Mandy, it's not for everyone, but for those who let it all in, it might be a film that changes your life.

There are shades of The Purge, Last House on the Left, Mean Girls, Heathers, Pump Up the Volume and the Dark Knight in this film. It borrows some of the ideas and expounds on them, leaving me with a film that gets a perfect 10 out of 10 from me.

Adrift (I) (2018)

Shaileen is incredible and the film is really good. Go in knowing nothing

[9/10 · 2 June 2018]

A film that starts off as part survival adventure, part Nicholas Sparks love story. At first I began to question why they made the choice to inter cut between the present and then the past...how they met, fell in love and ultimately accepted an offer to sail a boat from Tahiti to San Diego. But then near the end, it all comes together and if it wasn't hard enough watching the movie, fearing the worse for Richard, then the one small twist just destroyed me, left in puddles.



After Spielberg finished Jaws, he told anyone that would listen, to never film on the open sea, ever. The elements, the waves, the weather and everything in between basically cause chaos. Director Baltasar Kormakur did not take heed to that warning and the result is something magical. To get the feeling of complete isolation, the cast and crew would sail out 2 hours from land to film. Kormakur is an experienced sailor and I'm sure that came in handy during filming. Half of the movie takes place on the open water and slowly but surely you see the two characters start to fade. They haven't given up hope but they are 1500 miles from land, have little food and little water. How Tammy and Richard survived 41 days on their own is a miracle. Tammy had to do it all. Take care of Richard, keep the boat afloat, catch food, make shelters and so on. There were times when she was in tears and close to going crazy, but she kept going, incredibly reaching Hawaii. She was not the experienced sailor, that was Richard. That makes it all the more incredible.



There's one big plot twist and I will not reveal that here. If you know nothing about the story, keep it that way. Go in blind. It'll work so much better for you.



Shaileen owns the movie. She's simply a rock. Her range of emotions are incredible and she has to carry the film most of the way. Claflin is good too but Woodley has much more to do. I simply love her performance and I really hope she gets a nomination this year. She's simply brilliant.



I loved the movie.



9/10

Leatherface (2017)

A surprisingly solid entry in the TCM universe

[8/10 · 26 September 2017]

Some of what makes modern reimaginings of classic horror films, not so endearing is that you can't replicate the original's look and feel. 70's horror, especially The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, has that grainy, cheap, almost documentary type feel to it. I thought the Platinum Dunes remake nailed the feel and ambiance of the original. This one comes really close to nailing it as well.

Being an origin story, it doesn't start out feeling much like a Texas Chainsaw movie. It opens well enough but then the setting changes to a mental institution and you are introduced to a character that you think and believe is going to grow up to be Leatherface. Here we meet some of the main characters and one of them is Lizzy, played by Vanessa Grasse. I hope to see more of her. Her beauty is what you first notice about her but she plays the character really well. She's strong at first and then completely vulnerable once it gets going. The two most recognizable faces in the film are Lily Taylor, as the Sawyer mom and Stephen Dorff as an obsessed sheriff, wanting to once and for all put an end to the Sawyer clan. Both are very good here as well.

Once out of the institution, things get pretty crazy. There's a lot of death, murder, gore and gruesome scenes, most of it taking place in a diner.

This is also a bit of a mystery because you think you know where the film is going and then they pull the rug out from under you and make you question who is who and what is what. This is another element I enjoyed about it.

When we finally get to the chainsaw massacre part of it, it feels right. This film reminded me of Unforgiven in a way. Through both films, there are hints of what you are hoping to see and there is a lot of character development and then when things finally go down, you are kind of ecstatic. Once the chainsaw makes an appearance and people are sliced and diced, it's a bit shocking. One death in particular took me by complete surprise.

I liked this entry and next to the original and the PD remake, this is the best one in my opinion.

8/10

Long Time Running (2017)

Bring lots of tissue

[10/10 · 18 September 2017]

Armed with will and determination, and grace too.

For the Canadians reading this, you recognize the lyric. For the rest of the world reading this, sorry but this is going to be about a slice of Canadiana and it's very possible you have never heard of the Hip before. That's okay. For all the Canadians here, like my parents generation remembering where they were when Paul Henderson scored the goal in 1972, our generation and perhaps all generations in this country remember where they were when they saw the Tragically Hip's final concert broadcast live on CBC last August. Twelve million people tuned in on TV alone with millions more watching in together in parks and arenas. It's been rumoured that the unofficial count for that last show was over 15 million Canadians.

The Tragically Hip is Canada's band. They never really made it big outside of our country. But they are loved here. They sing about Canada. They tell stories about our history and they are part of the fabric of this land. There's a mysticism to them and most of us here adore them, myself included.

In March of 2016, Gord Downie, the one of a kind poet/singer/song writer lead singer of the band was diagnosed with an incurable form of brain cancer. He went through months of chemo and lost a lot of his memory. He has been given no more than 5 years to live. Upon his road to recovery, he told his band mates that he wanted to do one final tour across Canada. He had to learn all the lyrics to their songs again. He had to have a neurologist tour with them. He was thin and frail looking and he had to have a teleprompter up on stage with him so that he didn't get lost singing the songs.

But on he and the band went. And they performed their hearts out. Every night. On stage. Victoria. Winnipeg. Edmonton. London. Ottawa. Toronto. And finally in Kingston, their home town. The Prime Minister was there. The whole country shut down for one night. We all needed to say goodbye to the band that we spent 30 years with. Blow at High Dough. Nautical Disaster. Thugs. Cordelia. 38 Yeas Old. Locked in the Trunk of a Car. Poets. Don't Wake Daddy and Grace Too. Over the tour they performed songs from every album. They had 90 songs with them and weren't sure if they could even do them all. I've been to 7 Hip concerts, and I've never seen them perform Thugs or Cordelia. But they did on this tour.

The Hip means something to all of us (the fans of the group). They sing about our life, our country, our hometowns. They talk about growing up here and they talk about hockey and Niagara Falls and Bob Caygeon and they regale us with the famous stories that are part of the very bloodline of this country. Wheat Kings tells the story of a man wrongly convicted of a murder. He goes free 20 years later and no one really cares because no one is interested in something you didn't do.

I first began my love affair with the Hip in the late 80's. When I heard Grace Too for the first time, I got chills. I'd never heard a band like them, never heard music like this. Gord was famous for going off on rants and sometimes incoherent tangents in concert. When ten of us journeyed to Detroit to see them live and record one of their albums, they opened with Grace Too and during the opening, Gord just turns to his band mates and says, "Did you see that? Did you see that? OH MY GOD LOOK OUT! BIG FFREAKIN BEAR!" I'm not sure if it was part of the act or if in his drug induced state he really thought he saw a bear but it just fit with the concert. The Hip are originals and there will never be another band like them. EVER.

Tonight while watching the documentary at the theater with about 75 others in attendance, my eyes weren't dry from beginning till end. It chronicled their journey together, their love for one another and it ended with the band walking off stage arm in arm. Gord doesn't have a lot of time left. But they gave us, the fans, the patriots of this country, one last time to hear them, to feel their love and their energy, to feel the warmth and vibrancy that they instil in all of us.

When Gord was on stage yelling out the final lyrics to Grace Too, he became overwhelmed with emotion. "HIP! HERE! NOW!" He was telling us that he was here and at least for the time being, he wasn't going away.

The concert documentary is one of the most powerful things I've ever been privy too. I spoke with others on the way out of the theater and everyone was wiping away the tears. The Hip kind of defined what it meant to all of us to be Canadian. My life is richer because of them and I'm so delighted and thankful that I got to see them 7 times over my lifetime.

I'm not sure how much time Gord had left. But if this truly was the last concert that they all did together, what a way to go out. Thank you Gord for enriching my life and thank you Tragically Hip for enriching all of our lives. Your music and words will love on forever.

Mother! (2017)

A horrible piece of you know what

[1/10 · 17 September 2017]

So this is an allegory of the Bible? And this is the reason I'm supposed to sit through a film that makes no sense, has horrible characters and symbolism that is in your face ridiculous?

UH NO.

I'm not sure why a film with nothing but symbolism is supposed to be something I enjoy. I hated this film. Hated it with all of my being. If you enjoy films that just want you to figure out WTF the director means by having an army of idiots destroy a house and then eat a baby, then by all means, see this film. It'll make you feel really smart for figuring it all out. As for me, this is not how I want to spend my $20.00.

1/10 because Jlaw is really good in it.

Five Fingers for Marseilles (2017)

Outstanding film from South Africa

[9/10 · 10 September 2017]

I saw this film at the Toronto film festival and we were lucky enough to have Q&A with the cast and crew and we got to meet some of the cast. Before I get into the crux of the review, let me call attention to Vuyo Dabula. He exudes charm and has instant screen presence. At first glance, he reminded me of a young Idris Elba but meeting him face to face, he is much shorter and has different features, but has the same kind of love affair with the camera. When he is on screen, the film is that much better. He is articulate, good looking and demands attention. He also did almost all of his own stunts...and there a lot of them. He said in the question period that the only thing he was not allowed to do is fall off the horse. I expect to see him transition over to Hollywood one day. He already had a small role in Age of Ultron, it's just a matter of time before producers take notice of him.

The film begins with 5 childhood friends who have had enough of police aggression in their small South African village. They start by throwing eggs and stones at the cops and then when one of the group gets taken, Tau, the most brazen of the group, takes her back forcefully. He kills two officers and then spends the next twenty years on the run. The five friends call themselves the Five Fingers of Versailles.

Tau returns 20 years later to a town, and friends, transformed by the violence caused that day. With the crooked cops now replaced by a caustic gang, Tau must take a stand and fight for what he believes in. He can only hope that the other members of the five fingers still have what it takes to do the right thing. It's time to defend or be driven from the land.

With inspiration from spaghetti Westerns, Tarantionoesque dialogue and even films like Gladiator and Roadhouse, it may pay homage in some ways to these films but director Michael Matthews and writer Sean Drummond put their own unique stamp on it and for a western movie-goer like me, I have never really seen it done like this before. Five Fingers for Marseilles subverts the genre by placing the story within the Indigenous community. We also witness really interesting character additions with a white travelling salesman and a Chinese store owner. I learned while watching the Chinese smash--Wolf Warrior 2 that China and South Africa have a rich tradition and strong history with one another. Michael Matthews was asked about his decision to add the salesman and the Chinese store owner, he replied that these are all authentic characters that you would find in a small place like the one in the film.

Gorgeously captured by director of photography Shaun Harley Lee and beautifully directed by Michael Matthews, the film both honours westerns of the past while trailblazing its own path. I haven't seen a lot of westerns recently, but this is certainly one of the better ones of the last 30 years. This is a film that took 7 years to make, from the time of the idea to the final edit. It was a labour of love.

There's a lot of violence and plenty of blood. It would certainly get an R rating here in Canada and the US. This is one of the areas the film excels. The direction allows the violence to percolate. It doesn't cut away from a lot of the gun shots, burning bodies, machete hacks and raw punches to the face. It's tough in that way, but it also benefits from it.

I hope this gets a distribution deal in North America and I really hope it is remembered come Oscar night. Everything about it is top notch. Every actor was terrific, the script was superb and as mentioned the photography and direction were outstanding.

9/10

Okja (2017)

A must see film

[10/10 · 26 July 2017]

A stunning film. I was told that it is hard to get a strong voice about animals made into a film. Hollywood doesn't want to touch it. Well Hollywood might be afraid of it but when you have Brad Pitt, a strong advocate for veganism and animal welfare, producing the film and a pariah and new power player on the block like Netflix willing to distribute, then you get a film like Okja made. Then you add a terrific international cast like Paul Dano, Steven Yuen, Tilda Swinton and the star of the movie, Seo-Hyun Ahn plus a superstar Korean director like Joon-ho Bong and you have one hell of a film. For those who don't know, Bong directed the highest grossing South Korean movie of all time, The Host and he also did the well received Snowpiercer. Make no mistake about it, this film has a strong representation behind and in front of the camera. And this is a film that is not only a strong voice, but it is one that is needed.

I'm a strong advocate for animal welfare and this film is up there as one of the best fictional films I've ever seen about the topic. You have a giant corporation that has made genetically modified super pigs. These pigs have grown to be massive animals, perhaps twenty times the size of normal pigs. They send these pigs off to live in all different corners of the world and their plan is to ten years later see which pig is the best and then parade him in New York city as part of a promotion to buy this corporation's new meat. Okja lives with Mija on her tiny farm in South Korea. They have a vast land where Okja and Mija have formed a bond. The corporation comes by, takes Okja and plans to kill him and all the other super pigs in a few days.

Enter the ALF which plans on saving Okja.

There's many strengths of the film. I'll just mention a few of them. The cast is brilliant. I enjoyed Steven Yuen especially. He has a screen presence, even when he was on the Walking Dead, you could feel it. He is very strong here. Paul Dano is excellent as well and Tilda Swinton might be the best actress alive who can play a bitch, someone you just despise. Ahn is priceless as the young girl and she sells the relationship with Okja.

But an animal welfare movie about pigs being sent to slaughter wouldn't be complete without the horrors that must be shown. There are very disturbing abattoir scenes and it's quite graphic. There's also a fair bit of animal mistreatment and for someone like me, someone who strongly advocates animal welfare, these scenes were very tough to watch. But they were necessary and they add to the overall tone of the movie.

Okja is perhaps the best film I've seen this year. It does everything right and it will probably help me become a vegan instead of just vegetarian. I applaud Netflix for getting this film made.

10/10

Baskin (2015)

Somewhat interesting but a bit of a letdown

[6/10 · 15 February 2017]

I first heard about this film after it appeared at TIFF in 2015. I never got around to seeing it but when I finally got the chance, it was a bit of a letdown. The director does some really good things here and it does have the look and feel of The Neon Demon in a way (if Refn dropped acid and remade Neon Demon, it might look like this film).

There are five rather unsavoury and kind of morally bankrupt officers sitting around in a diner discussing stories of prostitution, bestiality and violent encounters, kind of like they were discussing what they had for dinner the night before. There's a level of humour to their stories and much of it is spoken about with complete equanimity. We definitely are not supposed to empathize with these men, in the least.

So when the stuff starts and people's guts are torn out and eyeballs are skewered and throats slit, it's horrific to watch but it's not like these men were likable to begin with so seeing these things happen to them isn't really horrifying.

Baskin has some really good set pieces and is directed and acted well. It looks good too. But it doesn't really explain itself all that well. As other reviewers have mentioned, I don't need everything spelled out for me, but none of this makes much sense.

For those confused about the frogs, if you look up the significance of frogs, they symbolize a cleansing, or a rebirth. This is pretty much what the Father character was looking to do with these men. He wanted to cleanse them of their sins and their lust for power. So the frogs were a clever symbolic piece here.

I, like most of you, have seen a ton of horror movies. I didn't find this one to be overly gory or hard to sit through. There is certainly some images of graphic torture but I've seen worse, much worse. I don't think this is any different than a litany of 70's and 80's horror. Hellraiser and Last House on the Left and Hostel were all worse, not mention films like Salo and Men Behind the Sun. This doesn't impugn the efforts here but it's just not the gore fest that I was lead to believe.

Baskin is interesting and it has some good ideas, but ultimately it isn't scary at all and it has a bit of a messy script.

6/10

Blair Witch (2016)

So close to being great

[8/10 · 17 September 2016]

Blair Witch is the most disappointed I've been in a movie in perhaps forever. There's a great GREAT movie in here, I'm convinced of it, but for some reason, they chose not to go all the way. They have a good script and a they set the table for us, and then like a prude and a tease on prom night, just when you think you're going to hit a home run, they leave you needing a cold shower. Everything was here for the film to be one of the scariest films out there. It really was. So why did they just not see it all the way through to the end? Instead what we are left with is a remake and rehash of the original, with no answers and more questions than we had going in.

As we all know the plot, I'll just recap it briefly. James, the little brother of Heather from the original, is convinced that she could possibly still be alive in the woods of Burkittsville, 17 years later. There's some new footage that has been uploaded onto the web that could possibly be her. He gets his friends to come along for the ride as they head out into the woods in search of the cabin where Heather and Mike were last seen. We find out that the woods were meticulously searched back in 1999 when Heather, Mike and Josh disappeared.

This time the crew is armed with an array of different recording devices, including a drone, tiny ear cameras and regular 8MM classic style video cameras. One of the true strengths of the film is the different angles that they can and are able to shoot and the sound that the cameras can pick up. The sound design is second to none and it is truly one of the stars of the film. There is some truly unsettling and nerve inducing sounds that are picked up. In the first film, you heard the sounds of the forest at night and you could hear babies crying and people screaming. This time you hear all or most of that, plus so much more. The sound is worthy of an Oscar nomination.

As they six head off into the woods, we get a lot of great exposition. We are told of the witch and how she falsely accused of torturing local children. She was taken by the villagers into the woods and basically hung up with rocks hanging from her limbs to inflict as much pain as possible to her. She was left to die. When the villagers come back in the spring, they don't find her body. Soon people from the village of Burkitsville start showing up dead, including the children who falsely accused her. The legend goes on to say that the woods remain haunted to this day. No one really goes into the woods alone and not over night.

Then things start to happen. The stick symbols show up and the six of them inexplicably sleep in until 2 in the afternoon. There's a fight that ensues between the four main friends and the two tag-alongs. They get separated. Up until now, the film follows a pretty standard pattern and if you have seen the original, it all makes sense and it's all fairly predictable. Then all hell begins to break loose and the film really starts to get good. There is hints of portals into another dimension, time travel or both. They never tell you for certain what happens here and I'm fine with this. What I'm not fine with is that the film never expands on the original. It never gives us any answers and it never truly feels like a sequel. This is much more of a remake than anything. And that is too bad because as I said initially, the script laid it all out for us. All Barrett and Wingard had to do is change maybe four or five scenes. But instead of scaring the absolute hell out of us by going that extra yard, they just stop. Characters disappear without any resolution. One character looks like she is dragged away by something, but again, it's never followed up. If there really was a witch haunting the woods, why would she attack one or two characters but not the others. Why is Lisa made to crawl through an under ground tunnel only to make it out without nary a scratch. Nothing attacks her, nothing scares her. Why? There were so many wasted opportunities here. If they just would have hired me to write some of this, it would have been so much better. Seeing as they don't know who I am, they should have consulted more with Myrick and Sanchez. But instead of giving us what should have been a terrifying film, we get one that is good, unsettling, spooky and kind of scary in some parts. But they left so much out, so much that could have made this so much better. For example, they had a drone, and yet it does nothing. You don't really see any footage from the drone and then there is one silly scene where one of the characters climbs a tree in order to retrieve it and then you never see her again.

The ending is what disappointed me the most because it's basically a shot for shot retelling of the original.

There are three things I would have done to this film. And if they would have done them this would have been a much better experience.

Blair Witch is a very good film for about 70% of the time. But the other 30% really weighs it down. And that is a shame.

6/10

It Follows (2014)

A shockingly brilliant horror movie

[10/10 · 13 April 2015]

Bar none, this is the best horror film I've seen in 10 years. This is a film that will get inside you and it won't let go, however if you are looking for gore, look elsewhere.

This review will contain some heavy spoilers.

Right from the opening scene, I was drawn in. There is an obvious 80's theme to this but we know it's modern times because one of the characters has what looks to be a data device.

This review will be spoiler heavy so if you don't want to know the nuts and bolts, skip over it.

The plot is a simple one. There is some kind of malevolent force that follows you around. The way you contract and eliminate this threat is by having sex. Somehow by having unprotected sex, you get it, and then, as the title says it follows you around. Only you can see this thing though. So every person who might look a little strange to you could be the force that is out to get you. And it creates paranoia because you don't know what's real and what isn't. This is an incredibly effective plot device in the film. As it is explained to J, after she gets it from her new boyfriend, this force can be anyone. It walks slow so you can buy yourself time by outrunning it or driving away but like the Terminator, it will not stop ever until you are dead.

The first 15 minutes has J having sex with her boyfriend, it's a nice experience that they share, and then as she is leaning over the backseat rambling on about whatever it is you ramble on about after sex, her boyfriend comes up behind her and puts a cloth with chloroform on it, around her mouth. She wakes up tied to a chair and he tells her what it is that's coming after her. He apologizes to her and explains that all she has to do is have sex with someone else and she's rid of it. But, if the thing that follows her manages to kill the person she passed it on to, then it will start after her again. So no one is safe, ever.

The cast are not really well known but J, as played by Maika Monroe, has been in some films but she's just not a name. That's going to change after this film. Not only is she strikingly beautiful, she absolutely nails the character. She's unabashedly terrified all throughout the film and when she's scared, you are scared for her. The rest of the cast is very good as well and there's a nice love triangle as one of her long time friends has loved her probably since they were kids, but he's not quite her type and this creates a lot of tension. He's willing to sleep with her and take the malevolent from her, that's how much he feels for her.

The look of the film is second to none as this was filmed entirely in Michigan and much of it in Detroit, where you see the poverty, the run down buildings, the old houses, the beat up 30 year old cars. The look of the film is basically a secondary character. It adds to the palette and creates tension. There's something more sinister about seeing an old 70's TV with rabbit ears and all the off, vomit inducing colours from the 80's carpet and wallpaper and such.

And then there's the soundtrack. I think the composer paid homage to about 8-10 horror themes. While not ripping them off, you can easily hear, Manfredini, Bernstein, Carpenter, Hermann and even some very obvious nods to something like Knowing where the soundtrack was overbearing but effective. I am simply in love with the music that was used here.

When you combine all of this together, you get one of the best horror films I've ever seen. Horror has had some good entries in the last decade imo but nothing can top this. It's frightening, tense, creates a lot of panic and leaves you guessing in almost every scene. Writer and director David Robert Mitchell has created one of the most terrifying and original horror films. I won't rank it right now because it's still so fresh but I am simply in love with this film. I honestly wanted to go right back into the theater to see it again.

It's also unapologetically rated R. There's lots of nudity, it's terrifying and if you were to bring kids to this, I think it would seriously have a chance to mess with their minds. IMO, horror was truly born in the 70's. I'm aware of Hitchcock's contribution to the genre, but the horror that I love was from the 70/80's. This is almost a love letter to the films of those decades. But in some ways, it does it better. It Follows might end up being the best film of the year.

As for the ending that some complain about. It's the perfect way to end the film. There is no other way to end it. This thing cannot be stopped. It just can't. So to have it look like a somewhat happy ending was cool.....until you see that no matter what they do, they will never get rid of it. The ending was terrific.

Every time I finish the review I just feel like going back and adding more. I can't say enough about it. This is about as original as it gets and that is a rare thing in today's cinema.

10/10

The Expendables 3 (2014)

A letter to Sly

[8/10 · 12 August 2014]

Dear Sly,

You are a terrific writer. You have made and written some of the best screenplays of my youth and of my adult life. You wrote Rocky, did the screenplays for First Blood, Rambo, Cliffhanger, The Expendables and Homefront. All fantastic films.

When you made The Expendables, you thought to bring some of the best action guys around, and put them in one film. You called on your friends and because of this you were able to get Dolph, Mickey, Eric and of course Bruce and Arnold. But more than that, you had an ideal. You let each actor do his thing. Jet and Dolph had terrific battle and then you had Jet and Jason fight it out in an epic battle against Gary Daniels. Then you had Randy fight it out with Austin, after you had one awesome go with him. Then, in perhaps one of the most unselfish moves in the film, you got Terry to toss the bomb when you couldn't. The whole point to this is you let everyone shine. The first film was bad ass because of this.

The second film got away from this. You still let Statham do his thing but your battle with Van Damme was poorly executed. And in my opinion, the last battle should not have been with you and him, it should have been with Dolph and Van Damme, for obvious reasons ( I know you know this but to spell it out for you...they were in Universal Soldier together and both are world class martial artists).

Then comes the third. You get a dream cast. All your friends are in it and you even manage to get Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes and Mel Gibson. It's never been done before and it certainly got me interested in the film. But once again, you messed it up. You forgot what made the first so special. It wasn't because all these guys could fire guns, it was because they could kick some serious ass. Dolph and Jet are world class martial artists, Statham and Gibson have played ones in films. You have MMA guys and of course Snipes who is also a real life ass kicker. Then you get Banderas to come in, talk the whole film about how good a killer he is, and then what do you do with all these guys? NOTHING. They just come along for the ride, shoot a few guns and then you fight Gibson for about 15 seconds. WTF! The story line with the young kids was interesting but again, you did nothing with it. Why not let Roussey show her stuff? Why not let Lutz fight someone? And how about killing a few people? You did none of this, you just had a bunch of actors fire guns.

You have so many story lines here. You even set it up by saying that you were all getting too old for this stuff. But you just let it go. You should have done what you did in the first. Here is how the end of the third film should have went.

The bomb is defused. You find Stonebanks. You guys start to fight. But just like Grammar told you, you can't win this thing. Stonebanks is too good. As you are holding your own, but clearly losing, out of the smoke, in a slow motion shot, comes Jet Li, who as we all know was in Lethal Weapon 4 with Mel. The two of you stop fighting. Mel looks at Jet, makes some kind of comment about how short he is. Jet stops, takes his jacket and weapons off. He squares off to fight Gibson and the two of them put on on a martial arts display while you stand aside. Jet eventually destroys him, because, you know, he's a true life bad ass. With Gibson dead, Jet picks you up and helps you to the chopper. As he does, he tells you that now you should pay him more money. The two of you laugh and then you live happily ever after.

The Expendables was never all about you. It was about a team. But with the sequels, you took the focus away from the team and made it all about you. Shame on you, Sly. You let me down, big time.

And you let your fans down.

6/10

Heaven Is for Real (2014)

A very moving film and an impassioned journey

[9/10 · 18 April 2014]

Looking at the credits, this is not an ABC after school special. This is a film with a good cast and a very good writer/director. Randall Wallace is the Oscar nominated and WGA winner for Braveheart. So he has credentials. Then you have a solid cast with Greg Kinnear, Eden Lake's Kelly Reilly and Thomas Haden Church. They put some money into this production and it pays off handsomely.

I'm not an atheist, I'm not agnostic and I'm not a believer. That leaves me in a very precarious place. I frankly don't know what I believe so my enjoyment of this film has nothing to do with fanaticism or devout belief. This is coming strictly from a film point of view. And this one moved me more than any film I can think of in recent memory.

You know the story so I won't give you all the mundane details but a quick recap is that during surgery, young Colton Burpo claims he went to heaven and met Jesus. He claims that he met a grandfather who died before he was born, that he got hugged from his miscarried sister and that angels sang to him. His father, Todd, played beautifully by Greg Kinnear, is the local pastor and strangely enough when people start to hear of this story, he and his family are ridiculed and made fun of. And this struck me as odd. You have a town full of Christians who go to church every day and believe in Jesus and his word but as soon as someone, a four year-old no less, says that he has met Jesus and spoke to him, they tell him that he's lying and that it's not possible. This, to me, is the very definition of hypocrisy.

The end of the story has Pastor Todd giving a sermon that left a lot of theater sniffling, blowing their nose and claiming they had something in their eye, including me. It's a powerful film about belief and conviction and love. And in my opinion, it doesn't matter if you believe in the Bible and all that it stands for, it only matters if you believe that you can make a difference in someone's life just by being kind and then having that kindness reciprocated. This was the central theme in the film. People were sometimes alone and afraid but the values of the Burpo family dictated that they come to the need of friends and strangers. There's an incredibly moving scene where Colton goes into the room of a very young boy with cancer. It's implied that the young boy will probably die soon. Colton puts his hand on the boy's hand and says, "No one is ever going to hurt you." In that moment the boy knew he wasn't alone and perhaps this would give him strength to get through his final days.

The entire film is sprinkled with moments of passionate, spiritual sentiment. These are good people in the Burpo family and they are going through a rough time. There is nothing in the film that suggests that there was any kind of agenda. I didn't feel like I walked out with a headache from getting bashed over the head with a message. I just felt very moved and very satisfied with the story.

I did find it funny that Sony produced this and in the film, Colton has a very real affinity for Spider-man. He holds a figuring of Spidey and his walls were littered with Spider-man memorabilia. Even Thomas Haden Church has a Spider-man connection. So I got the little nudges the film had towards it's big picture coming out this summer.

Overall a very satisfying film and one that you should give a chance to.

9/10

Hold Your Breath (2012)

If you are watching this kind of movie, why are you shocked that it's not great to begin with?

[7/10 · 14 April 2014]

Asylum produces some nice films that are low budget and almost spoof like in a way. When I rent a movie by them, I pretty much know what I'm getting. When I come here and read the reviews by people who didn't like it, it makes me wonder why they even rented it in the first place. Titanic and Gone With the Wind this is not. You have a micro- budgeted horror film about a spirit that possesses you if you don't hold your breath while driving by a graveyard. Shouldn't that be a hint for you?

Hold Your Breath is one of the better straight to video horror films I've seen. It doesn't do everything right but it does a lot more right than wrong. To start off, the rapport between the actors playing the college kids is really nicely done. The cast and the set up reminded me a bit of Friday the 13th Part 3 or 4. You had the dating couple, the stoner, the hot single chick and a couple of others tossed in. The script, written by Geoff Meed (who is more known as a B actor) sets it all up nicely to begin. These young adults are off to a weekend getaway and the guy who organized insists on no cell phones for the weekend. Just a cool weekend of camping and being at one with nature.

Back in the 50's a mass murderer/rapist/religious loonie was put to death in an electric chair. His spirit lives on as it is too malicious to even be accepted in Hell. The spirit can pass into different people as it chooses to and those people become possessed by the killer.

Yes, the story has been done before and it has kind of been done better in some movies. But what this one has going for it is some great old school Tom Savini/Rick Baker like makeup effects and the set design is fantastic. Night time is lit ominously by the moon, graveyards have fog drifting by the tombstones and the sanitarium where the execution took place is creepy and vast and claustrophobic all at the same time. There are some great effects as well highlighted by a girl being tied to a tree and getting cut in two by barbed wire. I like effects like this, they remind of the older films like The Howling and Friday the 13th. The Saw films are good and the gore is well done but you can see where the CGI takes over. Sometimes good old fashioned prosthetics and make-up is just better.

Katrina Bowden and Randy Wayne are the two best characters and they do quite well here. The rest of the cast is fine as well. Bowden is almost too gorgeous and they have her running around in Daisy Dukes and a flimsy shirt all throughout the film, which of course is apropos for a horror film.

I would have given the film even higher marks if it weren't for some silly and unnecessary plot pieces, like two characters running away scared from another when she is but a 110 pound woman. That just seemed strange. And I didn't care for the ending. But all in all, it was a good effort.

7/10

Nothing Left to Fear (2013)

The kind of film that pays of in the end

[7/10 · 2 April 2014]

As some of the other reviewers in here have mentioned, this isn't the kind of horror film that has a kill every ten minutes or rivers of blood coming from the walls. Instead, it takes time to build characters and because you get to know the characters, the story starts to unfold as well. This is a well done film from a first time director who was lucky enough to secure a good veteran cast and some good younger talent.

Clancy Brown plays a small town retiring pastor who is helping the new pastor and his family get acclimated to his new job and surroundings. His motives at first seem to be genuine but this wouldn't be a horror movie if the local town pastor didn't have some kind of devious Machiavellian machinations to tend to.

Without spoiling it, the film has elements of Wicker Man, Rosemary's Baby and about half a dozen other low budget horror films. It's well written, well acted and the production design is the films strength. The small town is photographed to look like something you'd see out of Children of the Corn or Cujo. Everyone smiles to your face while planning your demise. Rebekah Brandes and Ethan Peck are the eye candy of the film but they too play their roles well. Brandes has some strange lines to utter but she makes them sound natural.

Horror films come in all shapes and sizes. This one has the slow burn and buildup of films like The Shining. The end is a nice payoff. If you have ADD then this film probably won't interest you. But if you like to see characters and situations build so that the end can kind of horrify you, then you have found the right film.

7/10

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)

Where's the Delorean?

[1/10 · 4 January 2014]

One of the worst horror films I've seen, in fact, one of the worst films I've ever seen. This might be a film that is a spin off of Paranormal Activity but it certainly goes to enough lengths to remind you that this is a Paranormal film. There are tapes of Kristy and Katie in a basement and then Ali, from Paranormal Activity 2 shows up to explain what is happening. I won't even give away the ending here as it is one of the most preposterous and stupid things I've seen in any film. It's like they brainstormed ideas and then threw out all the good ways to end it and settled on the one that's in the movie.

PATMO literally has nothing happen in it for about 85% of the movie. The first real plot point comes when one of the guys gets bit and then develops Spider-man powers. From there, nothing more really happens until after they meet up with Ali. From there, they go to a local gangster for help in hunting down the witches that ostensibly killed his brother and has possessed one of the main characters.

This film is a mess. It tries to expand on the coven story but instead of shedding more light on the plot, it just gets it muddied even more than it was in the last film. In short, nothing more is expanded or explained in this film and the ending of it just makes it even more ridiculous than the first 90 minutes already are.

I understand these films are licenses to print money for Paramount, but it's time to wrap it up. We need closure. If you look at the evolution of the series, the first did huge business and the second dropped slightly, like many sequels do, but the third increased on the strength of the second being so good. But the third introduced new folklore to the story and the fourth dropped dramatically because of it. With what looks to be a sub 20 mill opening, this film should finish with about 35 million. Now they have a 6 slated to open around Halloween this year. People aren't stupid, so unless they tell us that it all ends this October or that they are at least going to start it to the road of closure then it seems like this series has jumped the shark. You thought the refrigerator nuke scene was bad in Crystal Skull? That's poetry compared to the way they end this film.

0.5/10

Only giving it half a point for having close to a sex scene.

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Scorcese's best film

[10/10 · 27 December 2013]

This is not just the best film of the year, it is unquestionably one of the best films I've ever seen. Every scene, every shot, every performance is about as good as it gets. Standing out of course are DiCaprio and Hill. Hill transforms himself in this film but DiCaprio gives the best performance of his career. He jumped head first into the role and there isn't one moment that you are watching this where you feel like you are watching Leonardo DiCaprio. What you are seeing on screen is Jordan Belfort. He is brave, brilliant and fearless. Snort coke off a hookers breasts? No problem. Blow coke into a hookers ass? He does that. Give rousing speeches that compel me, the viewer, want to work for him? It's in here. Dance, get naked, party, crawl around like a baby, cry, show vulnerability, it's all in here. It is one of, if not the best performance in a film I have ever seen. DiCaprio is good in everything I have seen him in, but he has taken the extra step here. He knows Jordan Belfort. There is a scene where he crawls around on the floor for 10 minutes in a drug induced paralysis and it will go down as not only the scene of the year (along with the ejaculation discussion in This is the End) but one of the most messed up but brilliant scenes in film history.

When DiCaprio first came on the scene, his talent was easily seen. Then he did Titanic and became a heart-throb to teenage girls. But he's never just let loose like this. Scorcese did it with Pesci and Liotta in Goodfellas and he has done in Wolf with DiCaprio. He holds nothing back and just goes for it all. DiCaprio worked on getting this made for 6 years. It has paid off handsomely for him. You can tell he dove into this role and just let whatever inhibitions he had, check themselves at the door. Once the cameras rolled and he had to do all the crazy stuff that was required of him, he just did it. The film is memorable for many reasons but none more than his fearless performance. In my opinion, this is one of the best performances in any film.

This is the Goodfellas of the 2000's. It's created from the same palette that made Goodfellas. It's long but never boring and it's so entertaining and funny and exhilarating that I hope the 4 hour cut we have heard about does find it's way to the DVD. I'm not sure yet if this is better than Scorcese's opus, Goodfellas, but it is certainly on par with it. I don't know if the academy is going to be progressive enough to reward this film with what it deserves, but in time, regardless of the awards, it will be remembered as one of the great films in the annals of film history.

It has to be said that the movie makes you kind of envious of the lifestyle these guys lead. Their life is a party. They make 22 million dollars in three hours and then spend the next 12 hours snorting coke, swallowing quaaludes, banging the hottest strippers and hookers around, flying in private jets and spending 2 million dollars on bachelor parties. Their life is a fairy tale and it makes you a little sad that after you leave the theatre you have to go back to your 9-5 existence. This world is full of excess and debauchery but damn it looks like fun.

IMO, this is the best film of the year and it has the best performance of the year and it's not even close. I understand this will not be a film for everyone's liking but it is undeniably hilarious, expertly directed, crisply edited and beautifully acted. And Margot Robbie is insanely sexy, insanely sexy.

10/10

Evil Dead (2013)

Gory, grotesque and will leave you exhausted. The ballsiest horror film in quite some time

[8/10 · 6 April 2013]

Evil Dead is perhaps the riskiest, ballsiest, most gory horror film I've seen since the 80's. Once the book is opened and the demon stuff begins, it's an exercise is the grotesque. For the 60 minutes or so that this takes place, it left me exhausted watching it. One character in here, the one who stupidly reads the book after he knows he is not supposed to, goes through more pain than any horror movie character I have ever seen with the exception of perhaps some of the rapists in the new version of I Spit On Your Grave. But that's debatable. Anything and everything that can happen to this guy, does. In short, he gets messed up real bad.

The movie is not perfect as it is hampered by some really bad acting in some parts and by some really annoying characters in others. But horror movies are known for this so if you can get past really egregious performances in some spots, then you'll be fine. It's a small complaint really, but it does take away from the overall rating. Another point I have to bring up that bothered me a bit is that the Ash character ends up being a woman and maybe because to me ASH is ASH, he is a man, then I would have liked it better if David would have lost his arm and becomes the hero. That was one of the cool things about the original is that it didn't follow conventional rules. Women are always the hero in horror films. But in Evil Dead, Ash was. I wasn't comfortable with the change in this one.

And finally, even with a bigger budget, the tree rape scene in this one wasn't nearly as good as the original.

But those complaints aside, the movie was everything they said it would be. It made the audience jump a few times and the humour was also there like in the original.

The good in the film is everything else. Shotguns, hammers, nail guns, knives, glass, syringes and fire is all used to mess people up. I remember reading that in the original the cleanup on the set every night was a nightmare because of all of the goop they used for the blood. I can't imagine being a cleanup member on this set. There was gallons of blood used here and sometimes it looked more like molasses mixed with chocolate syrup mixed with red dye. It was pretty disgusting at times. I also enjoyed how duct tape was the answer to everything in the film. If you have a hole in you the size of China, just use duct, it'll fix you right up.

As mentioned, once the book is open, the pace the film plays at leaves you exhausted. It doesn't slow down in the least and every other scene someone is cutting their own arm off or getting attacked with a nail gun or getting violated by nature. It's a truly terrifying film.

To sum it up, I enjoyed it but not on the same level as the original. And there's nothing wrong with that as the original is one of the all time great horror films. But if you are in the mood for a bloodbath where blood literally spews on screen, this is the film for you. It does not disappoint.

7.5/10