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Miss K
Reviews
Opus 66 (1998)
Saw it coming a mile away
SPOILERS
Can't believe how predictable this was. As soon as i saw the kid in the back, i just knew. Its just so obvious that a talentless director trying a shock and surprise twist will make the killer be the least obvious and plausible character in the story, either without explanation or with a stupid one. "Spot the obvious killer" is one of the first reflexes any horror/suspense fan has when watching a movie, and this director should have known better. How he got away with this (he actually won some kind of award) is the real *surprise ending* for me.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Cliche, Long and predictable - Spoilers
I'm surprised and shocked at the number of positive comments this film has gathered, which is what prompted me to write this review. This movie is based on a Hollywood formula which has been done so many times its a travesty it appears in the top 250.
You have : the kidnapped daughter which is the sole reason for the adventure, the father who wants her daughter to marry the high status good looking but with zero personality and slightly dim witted character, the poor and low class hero who is hopelessly in love with the rich and noble 'princess' but who is too shy and too aware of his social inadequecies to admit his love for her, the obviously choreographed fight scenes, especially the one in the smithy which is absurd, endless pirates fighting (who btw cannot die because they are immortal) and unknown military fodder who you don't care about anyway because they serve the 'evil' english establishment, the awful awful awful and did i mention AWFUL ending where of course the hero gets the girl because suddenly the father and the antihero have grown a new personality and have discovered what compassion and morality mean..... i mean can this plot be anymore predictable and cliched ? I think not.
A pitiful 2 out of 10 stars for Johnny Depp and the CGI effects.
Kairo (2001)
Best horror movie i have ever seen
Okay, i must admit ive seen this movie only once, a week ago, and i wasnt in what i would call a 'normal' state, if you can understand the subtext. But i was blown away how atmospheric and genuinely creepy this movie is. The use of sound, music, and visuals is absolutely stunning and groundbreaking. U owe it to yourself to see this in a 5.1 environnement. I wish i could see it with an audience in a movie theatre, that would be unreal.
I think there are problems in the subtitles, some sentences just didnt make sense, and there were some scenes that seemed to drag on a bit. However, the scares are so unexpected and so original that you stay glued to the screen till the end, and my what an ending. SPOILER SPACE ************* when that military transport plane crashes, wow *****. The whole cataclysm end of the world stlyle ending is unexpected and effective, although i would have liked more exposition during the movie that it was actually coming.
Buy it, see it, enjoy it. Best movie ive seen in years.
Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (2001)
Good, but falls short
After all the brouhaha made over here, i just had to see what all the fuss was about and if it was justified. It is not.
For a while though, the first 30 minutes, i really thought this movie would be special all the way till the end. It has that dreamy nostalgic atmosphere which makes us reflect on our own personal lives, and draws us in the movie. But the plot is just too thin to live up to the unique and magical visuals. I looked at my watch several times at the end because the love story just dragged on and was absolutely void of any content / context : hollow. This completely destroyed the movie for me, which should have made this love story the epicentre of its plot and yet seemed to relegate it to the miscellaneous thread. It felt rushed and unpolished.
This film still is a rare (too rare) burst of genius from a french director. Lets hope more follow.
Siu Lam juk kau (2001)
A refreshing, funny and exciting movie
***minor spoilers****
It has been some time since i havent laughed so hard.... The 'coup de grace' came during the last kick in the final match where the Evil Goalie's clothes were ripped apart from the tornado. Priceless.
This is a pure gem of a movie. It has everything. Absolutely stunning sequences (ie seeing Vicki Zhao Wei for the first time making her bread), fantastic score, great comedy, and action sequences hollywood can only dream about. And theres a freshness to it all, something that is new and has never been done, that makes the whole package irresistible. Well done Stephen Chow.
The best movie of the year. At least.
Kiss of the Dragon (2001)
Moronic
Went to see this movie out by default for being to late for Shrek. Hmm, Jet li's in it so it might actually be good.....Dead wrong.
This is one of the few films i have ever wanted to walk out of. The characters are shallow deep and cliche to the point of being laughable. I have the disadvantage of actually living in Paris, so i know what France and paris life is all about. No, we don't have mafia like Top Police Inspectors who can shoot innocent bystandards or their own sergeants and get away with it. They don't drive top of the range brand spanking new Peugeot 607, they don't do drugs and they certainly don't kidnap little children. We also dont have streets lined up with prostitutes. What the hell was Luc Besson thinking ? I can excuse an american for making all this stuff up, but a french director/producer actually supervised this and gave a green light ? Shame....
The Skulls (2000)
Absurd
This movie was absolutely atrocious.
*spoilers*
The characters had no sense of purpose in what they were doing, the secret society "the skulls" is so secret that everyone knows it exists, and all you have to do to find out if someone is a member is look at his left forearm (very easy to do in the summer when they all wear T-Shirts)..... Also, what are Joshua's character motivations for leaving this society in the first place ? Why did he challenge the chairman's son at a duel ? Was was the point ? And do you really want us to believe that to get into this secret society all one has to do is win a rowing race ???? If not, then why is there absolutely no explanation as to why Joshua's character is chosen..??
It was clear from about 15mins in the movie that the plot and character developpement were nonexistent, and it really showed all through this turkey.
Manhunter (1986)
Light Years better than Silence of the lambs
Yes, its 80s because it was made in the 80s.
Get over it !!
This movie is pure genius : the opening sequence is one of the most creepiest piece of cinema i have ever seen......Brian Cox plays Hannibal with due restraint and does not over act ( like AHopkins did in Silence). The rest of the cast is near perfect, i personally love the soundtrack/score, all in all a perfect 10/10 from me.
Over and out.
Wo hu cang long (2000)
Best movie i have ever seen
After reading too many negative comments, i just had to post my own review.
In my short and puny little life (24 years), i have seen a lot of movies : some good, some bad, and some awful. Up to this point, my favourite movie experiences ranged from Science fiction (2001, Star Wars, Blade Runner) Comedy (Life of Brian, Clue) and dramas (Elephant man, trainspotting).
Never has a movie moved me, shook me, transformed me as much as Crouching Tiger and Hidden Dragon. This movie is a masterpiece : forget what you read on IMDB, do yourself a favour and go see it for yourself, make up your OWN mind.
As far as im concerned, i am grateful to Ang Lee and the actors / actresses from CTHD to have awarded me the best 2h movie experience of my life. And i wish Zang Zihi a bright and successful career : shes one hell of an actress !!!
Over and out
Guinea Pig: Ginî piggu - Akuma no jikken (1985)
Best "snuff" ever made
I am surprised than many viewers hold more respect for the sequel to this brilliant movie... I have seen all the guinea pigs and this one is easily the best.
Even though ive seen the "making of", i still have doubts when watching those 35mins of pure torture : its that powerful.
A 10 out of 10 because this movie achieved perfectly what it set out to do : be the best fake snuff film ever made.
Office Space (1999)
Great start...but ran out of steam
I had high hopes for this movie, loving everything Mike Judge had done previously....The movie got off to a fantastic start, with the off beat and off the wall humour i love so much, but the last half an hour were pretty disappointing.
It seemed as if the plot and characters were at a stand still and did not develop as they had in the previous hour.
All in all, a solid comedy with some great laughs.....but deserved a better conclusion.
Blue Streak (1999)
Pitiful american comedy !
Seeing all the positive comments 'down there', i felt obliged to comment on this....I saw Blue Streak on the plane on my way back from Argentina, and it is the most sorry excuse for a comedy i have ever seen....the jokes are either not funny, cliched or just plain dumb. I cant remember laughing once : predictable to the last scene, this movie should be burned and forever be forgotten.
Please, whatever you do, do NOT pay money to see this movie..
Sphere (1998)
Been there, done that
What can be said about sphere.
I thought it started awfully well. The setting was claustrophobic, the colours were dark, and the general 'ambience' was very effective. You really wondered what was going to happen next, and you were actually dreading it.
And then came the squid attack, the 'dreams come true' and 'greatest gift one can have' gibberish. Its all cliche, its all terribly overdone, and worst of all, it isnt INTERESTING.
And the end is utter nonsense.
Avoid.
The Spanish Prisoner (1997)
A terrible movie
Some people are talking about 'excellent plot', 'brilliant plot twists' etc....
Where ?? When ?? How ???
What I saw (and bought on DVD urgh !!!) was a terribly acted, horrible dialogue, and most pathetic excuse for a plot I've ever seen. You could see the plot twists a mile away !!
All of it has been done before, and so so much better. How someone can call this a 'Usual Suspects' kinda movie is beyond me.
Avoid at all costs.
Jui kuen II (1994)
Makes me want to get up and pick a fight with someone
Did this movie kick or what ??
Incredible moves, stunning choreography, astounding fights. The best Kung Fu i have EVER seen. I would have liked to see the mother in law fight more, but hey, the film is a 10 even without that.
Move over Bruce Lee, jackie is the master !
Space Mutiny (1988)
Extremely...Funny
This movie is one of those 'it's so bad it's good' movies. There are many hilarious moments thanks to the horrendous acting, the lame props, the stupid facial expressions, the moronic plot, the dumb hero, etc....
And you have to hear that laugh....that evil laugh....it is SOO funny it hurts.
Blackjack (1998)
Pathetic !
This is easily one of the WORST movies i have ever seen : shame on you M. Woo, after giving us some of the greatest action flicks ever !!
And to think i bought this as a DVD import @ 50$ !!! Makes me sick !!
I think i managed 25mins before fast forwarding to the end. I have never seen it since, nor do i intend to.
Avoid at ALL cost.
Blade (1998)
Just plain bad
The fact that a bunch of rebellious teenage vampires could take over the whole Vampire Caste on earth so easily ruins the whole movie. The plot is absolutely inexistent or accidental. Stereotypes abound. Wesley Snipes looks ridiculous with those overgrown teeth. I can't even remember the rest : it was that bad.
And if you want dark visuals and a good comic-book-feel, check out The Crow instead.
Avoid at all cost.
Troll 2 (1990)
May God have mercy on your soul
And i thought no movie could be worse than Hobgoblins. Well let me tell you, Hobgoblins is to Troll 2 what Gone with the Wind is to Heaven's Gate.
Let me sum it up : Troll 2 has no trolls, it has Goblins. There are no actors, only people trying to act. And their attempts are beyond the pathetic. The kid on the box isn't even the same actor as in the movie !!
However, there are some scenes that are soooo bad, they actually make you laugh. One of these is Joshua, a 9 year old boy, the "hero" of the movie, who takes a leak on diner in order to avoid the family eating the Goblin prepared food, that would turn them all into green jelly (does this make any sense ??). Anyways, thats not the funny part cause u dont see him actually doing it....The funny scene is when his dad punishes him : get this, he actually tells him "I'm tightening my belt by one loop so i don't feel hunger pains, and your sister and mother will have to do the same". Is this a script or what ???? How dumb does one have to be in order to write such KRAP ??
I actually bought this movie in order to show it to all my m8. The first showing is to my brother this evening. I can't wait to see his reaction :)
Kid (1990)
i LOVE this movie
ok, i know this is no Citizen Kane or Casablanca. But i love it anyway.
It's the story of this guy coming back to his hometown for revenge, after his parents were killed there under his own eyes a couple of decades ago. He hunts down all the culprits and kills them. There's romance, suspense and action which makes this quite a complete movie.
I first saw this movie when i was 10, and since then it has become one of my cult favorites.... The acting is bad, the plot is ok, but what really steals the show for me is the dialogue : pure genius (in a it's so bad it's good kinda way)! Especially when they talk about the book ' The Hobbit'...that scene has me roaring in laughter every time i see it, it's so unintentionnally funny !! There are so many pieces of dialogue and situations that sticks in your mind for you know not what reasons ... Like the scene with the Sheriff getting his head blown away by 'accident'... EXCELLENT !! And the music is great too !
If you like revenge and cool dialogue, rent/buy this movie.
Hobgoblins (1988)
I'm a lucky man !!
After reading all the rave reviews this movie got, I just felt compelled to see it. And guess what ; my local video store had a mint, original , without the 'MST3k' dubbing, copy DUBBED in French.. Am I not lucky ??? I was bracing myself hard with my brother to see one of the most horrid movie there is....And let me tell you, I haven't laughed this hard since....oh..since a long long time...
This film is so ridiculous its scary and baffling to try and imagine how these people could actually have sat through a post production phase and actually decided to go to print.
Where can I start : well, let's start at the beginning. The first scene is the one where I laughed the most.. There's this old guy and a kid in a studio who are supposed to insure the security of the place, arguing over a telephone call which the kid didn't pick up but should have, and the scene goes on and on about this, AND THIS IS THE INTRO !! I mean what were these guys thinking !! WHO CARES ABOUT NO ONE PICKING UP THE PHONE !! Is this relevant in any way to the story ???? (which I won't bother explaining cause there isn't any)
The other scene where I had difficulty containing my laughter was the Rake fight scene. There's the hero who is called a dweeb by his girlfriend, and to prove his worth, tries to fight one of his so called pals in the front garden with rakes. And let me tell you, Darth Vader and Obi Wan are wussies compared to these two individuals. During at least 5 minutes, you can see the SAME ATTACK, WITH THE SAME DEFENSE MOVE, repeated and repeated while the girlfriends stand and watch 'in horror'..HAHAHA...
There are so many scenes I could talk about here, it would take all day. If you have the god given chance to rent this one, DO IT! It's the best worst movie I have ever seen.