Change Your Image
mrsatan
Reviews
GoBots: Battle of the Rock Lords (1986)
Forgettable; no wonder it flopped
Totally generic, forgettable trash. Boring story and terrible animation (typical of Hanna Barbera). Not much different than the equally forgettable TV series, except with this they got "celebrity" voices. Hanna Barbera should never have been hired to make a robot cartoon. There was a reason Transformers is remembered and loved and Gobots gone and forgotten-- the difference in quality of their respective television shows. Both were good toys, but Transformers had fun stories and great animation (for its time). Gobots was standard Saturday Morning schlock. I strongly suggest get the DVDs of "Machine Robo: Revenge of Cronos" (currently out on Region 1) instead and see how the Gobots & Rock Lords should have been done.
Hen (1996)
The live-action version of "Strange Love"
All the comments here so far are describing the wrong video. This "HEN" was the live action version that preceded the forgettable anime. It was a lot better than the anime and also more accurate to the manga. The VHS version was more explicit than the TV broadcast version. There were two parts to this story, both dealing with same-sex romantic relationships. Part 1 featured the macho Suzuki (Aoki) suddenly falling in love with a bishonen boy Yuki Sato (actress Aiko Sato). Part 2 was the more popular version with loose schoolgirl Chizuru (former adult video star Asami Jo) suddenly falling for the innocent transfer student from Kyushu, Azumi Yamada (Miho Kiuchi). I don't think this was ever released outside Japan, unfortunately.
Toransufômâ: Kârobotto (2000)
That Ain't Optimus Prime & Megatron!!
I just thought it should be pointed out that in the original Japanese version, all of the characters (except Gas Skunk) had different names. They were NOT intended to be new versions of old characters like Optimus Prime, Megatron, Prowl, etc. The Americans decided to rename them to trick people into thinking it was the return of the '80s Transformers. This was supposed to be a story of a different group of Autobots that are based in Japan. So when you watch it, keep that in mind. The Americans also changed the background music for some reason; the new music is terrible. The voice acting isn't anything to write home about either. If you can, watch the Japanese version, "Car Robot", instead.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
The Ultimate Lucas Emasculation
Just a big commercial for ILM. Interesting to note George Lucas's wife left him around the time of ROTJ. It also seems to be the point of George's "selling out". George has spent the subsequent years as a Mr. Mom to his adoptive children, which has emasculated him as a filmmaker. He can't make any kind of cinematic decision without taking into consideration if it will harm "the children". George changed the Greedo scene in Star Wars, one of the most memorable scenes in movie history, because it wasn't politically correct. (George has also expressed displeasure at the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indy shoots the swordsman, another film classic.) A filmmaker cannot make a good movie by playing it safe. I wouldn't be surprised if Episode III ends with Anakin not becoming Vader; I don't think Mommy George has the stones for it.
Redneck Zombies (1989)
Mostly Lame.
There are a few brilliantly funny parts in this movie. But not enough to warrant renting this. Low budgets, bad actors, and cheesy special effects can make a great movie sometimes. Not in this case. Lots of unfunny gags; mostly involving homosexuality. And extremely long, pointless, boring drug trip scenes.
If edited to about half its running length, it would probably be a fun movie.
Bîsuto uôzu chô seimeitai Toransufômâ supesharu (1998)
Finally Another Transformers Movie!
Not since 1986 had the Transformers hit the movie screens. But after 12 years, they're back! And it's about time! The movie is composed of three segments, two of which are recycled from the Canadian CG Beast Wars program. The highlight is the original 45 minute cel-animated segment called "Beast Wars Second:Lio Convoy Kiki Ippatsu". It's good to see hand drawn Transformers again, and the animation is light years above that of the Beast Wars Second TV series. The plot is fairly similar to the previous TF movie (Giant Monster Transformer can only be stopped by the Matrix), but it's still a lot of fun to watch! TRANSFORM!!
Hokuto no ken: Ankoku no hokuto (1995)
Uninspired
Disappointing debut on the Saturn and PSX. Original writer Buronson and the original cast returned, but unfortunately the game isn't very good. First of all, instead of a making normal "Street Fighter" type fighting game, it's a bizarre mess of meters and text. The animated sequences are decent, but the storyline is just a ripoff of previous Hokuto stories. The characters Ken meets are complete copies; they even look exactly the same as previous characters!
Street Fighter (1994)
Nothing redeemable
This movie just plain sucks. Street Fighter II fans will hate it, kids will hate it, adults will hate it. Probably VanDamme fans will hate it, too. As has been stated before, it lacks Van Damme's trademarks. (Showing his rear end, explaining away his accent, etc.) Raul Julia's last role; he took the role because his children were fans of the video game. This video game has been adapted to screen form several other times. Any of those versions are better than this one. Check out the animated movie or the "Street Fighter II V" TV series instead.
Kyôshoku sôkô Guyver (1989)
The best version of Guyver
This version blows away the earlier Guyver anime and the lame American versions. The most accurate to the original manga. High school kid Sho Fukamachi comes across the Guyver unit. It allows him to merge with an alien symbiont that turns him into a living weapon. Chronos, an evil organization comprised of humans altered into "Zoanoid" bio-monsters, wants the Guyver unit back with them. This show has cool characters fighting genetically engineered monsters, with nifty tricks like Bio-Lasers, etc. (Not stupid Urotsukidoji-esque demons!) The bad guys are a pre-X-Files global conspiracy that our heroes, mere high school students, must struggle against. The thing I love about this show that I never see mentioned is the ongoing theme of "don't trust anyone over 30" that seems to be present. With a few exceptions, the series' adults are all evil!
Choujikuu Yousai Macross (1982)
An Anime Classic.
As has previously been stated, the cut-and-dubbed "Robotech" version is terrible. But the original Macross is a glorious piece of work. Supposedly intended as a parody of Gundam and Yamato, the story starts off in a rather innocent fashion. Hikaru Ichijo follows his childhood friend, right in the middle of an alien attack. Hikaru and Lin Minmei have a charming, innocent crush developing. But as the series progresses, Hikaru begins to grow up. War is not as glorious as he had believed, and love becomes much more complicated than he could have imagined.
Macross Plus (1994)
Cool Macross Side-Story
This wasn't what I expected; it was not the (literally) earth shattering epic of humans versus bad aliens like the original. This sequal is more of a "gaiden" side-story set with in the same universe. Kind of focuses on some of the "little guys"; test pilots and engineers. But that's not to say that their lives are not as interesting. This is a much more intense, complex, and overall more grown-up story than the original. It's really a solid sci-fi story and would recommend it to anyone. And, one does not have to be familiar with the Macross universe to watch it!
Cool World (1992)
The Worst Movie I've Ever Seen
This movie is bad. Real bad. And not bad in a good way. It is just a bad rip-off of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?", with none of that movie's charm. Ralph Bakshi has made a career out of making cartoon characters do "naughty" things. Stuff that cartoon characters aren't supposed to do! Too bad nobody cares anymore. Far more daring (and interesting!) stuff is coming out of Japan these days. Please, do not waste your time or money with this movie; rent "Roger Rabbit" instead, or one of Toshio Maeda's movies.
Hokuto no Ken (1986)
You're Already Dead!
Fun big-screen adaptation of the classic manga and anime series. Much more graphic violence than the TV series could get away with. Most of the popular characters are there with the notable exceptions of Toki and Mamiya. However, Streamline Pictures' dub destroyed any remnants of story in this movie. It makes no sense at all; it never even bothers to explain what the Hokuto Shin Ken style is all about. Even if you don't speak Japanese, rent that version instead. It will still make more sense than Macek's dub.
Elmo Saves Christmas (1996)
Cute, but Fierstein is grating
Elmo wishes that every day is Christmas, wreaking havoc on the world. But why did they put Harvey Fierstein in a singing role? This guy has the worst voice I've ever heard!