ving13 Reviews

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

Twice as good as the first! 2 out of 10!

[2/10 · 13 September 2004]

Mike Epps as LJ is very entertaining and his character provides a few moments of comic relief. His presence in this movie thus makes it twice as good as the first one and sadly is the only good thing I can say about it.

What's not to like? Plenty. Many of the action sequences seem to have been directed by Michael Bay on a big dose of meth and a six-pack of Jolt. The result: a mostly indistinguishable blur of images. My guess is that this technique negates the need for having to spend money on the required special effects needed for clear footage.

Meanwhile, in regards to the acting, I would have wished that some of the scenes were blurred out so I could not see such pathetic performances. I wonder if the actors involved were ever surprised that an emotionless take was deemed acceptable by the director. So sad that in a zombie movie, the undead emote more than most of the main characters.

Finally, the matter that annoys me most about this film is the completely ridiculous scenes defying all logic. For example, people out run bullets and missiles, deliver more damage with punches and kicks than massive gunfire, and in one scene are even saved from an explosion by a PLASTIC garbage bin!

An almost complete waste of time and an insult to the intelligence of the viewer.

Sorority Boys (2002)

Most notable for Melissa Sagemiller

[7/10 · 2 September 2004]

Sorority Boys is not a bad film. Even though it is a light, comedic affair with a plot certainly far from original, I found it to be well worth my time. What better way for chauvanistic frat guys (am I being redundant?) to learn respect for women than to walk a few miles in their (often high-heeled) shoes? Most worthy of praise is the job done with casting. Even some of the lesser characters fill their roles to perfection. I was also very surprised at the performance of Melissa Sagemiller who played Leah of the DOG sorority. She certainly is a natural in front of the camera. Keep your eyes out for her future efforts as I predict she will soon be a household name.

Hick Trek: The Moovie (1999)

Fun Moovie!

[8/10 · 27 April 2004]

Hick Trek is clearly a film that is envious of even an El Mariachi-level budget ($7,000). Still, the creators are able to pull off decent effects at times (often due to great editing) such as the beamings, the situations aboard the cat ship, and Slim T. Jerk's unique way of communicating with his ship without use of a traditional communication device.

The acting does have its rough spots but the portrayal of "Horns" McBoy is excellent and Fluffy is certainly not too hard on the eyes.

I do wish that the film had been longer than its approximate hour - and that should be seen as a compliment. This movie is a success due to the sincerity and hard work of those involved.

Bogard (1975)

Good Flick.

[8/10 · 10 June 2000]

I bought this as a clearance video for $3. This movie certainly has a certain charm about it. Richard Lawson's portrayal of Fisk reminds me a lot of Samuel L. Jackson's character Jules in Pulp Fiction. Dabney Coleman is also excellent as the scummy, corrupt cop. Some of the violent scenes are rather realistic and unsettling without resorting to gore. Production values are a little weak in spots but if you're a fan of 'blaxploitation' films or the '70's you'll enjoy this flick.

Desperate Measures (1998)

Swiss cheese, anyone?

[3/10 · 9 August 1999]

This plot had more holes in it than an OJ Simpson alibi!

I noticed two Star Trek references in the movie and, yet,

ironically we have a lead character played by Andy Garcia

who is the antithesis of the Vulcan philosophy of, "The

needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or one."

Let's just say that while trying to save his son from cancer he puts most of the rest of San Francisco at incredible risk. Michael Keaton's character is almost as

unrealistic as well. He neglects to kill at numerous opportunities and yet is angered when Garcia foils his

attempt to kill a bunch of cops at once. The child's doctor remains in charge of her faculties even after been

held hostage several times in a short expanse of time but

put her on a wide walkway 5 stories up and she loses it.

Andy Garcia's child is something of an anathema in this

movie. He is the most sympathetic and real character, one of the movie's bright spots. He furthermore utters a line, that must have been the result of serendipity, regarding fighting cancer that parallels Keaton's motivation to escape. All in all, the movie was not a

complete waste (see From Dusk to Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money

for that) but disappointing considering the talent on hand.

Good Burger (1997)

This burger causes nausea.

[1/10 · 19 January 1999]

An absolute, complete waste! The previews looked so horrible I had to see if this movie was as bad as expected. It was beneath those already low hopes. Keenan and Kel should not be allowed to "perform" these atrocious characters again. If art suddenly became real life, people would gladly flee Good Burger to spend their hard-earned dollars at Burger World and deal with Beavis and Butthead; who represent Masterpiece Theatre in comparison. And as if Keenan and Kel aren't bad enough, the always annoying Sinbad shows up too.

Bikini Traffic School (1998 Video)

Shayna a sight to see!

[9/10 · 19 January 1999]

This movie has that tired old plot involving our heroes having to make X amount of money in Y amount of time to save the business from the evil clutches of so-and-so. What makes this movie viewable to a horny hetero male like myself are the gorgeous women who take it off quite often. Shayna Ryan, who plays Marcie, is particularly nuclear! I recorded only the nudie parts and ended up with a 30-minute masterpiece.

Breaking the Waves (1996)

Lay the smack down!

[19 January 1999]

Watching this movie really put me on edge. So many characters needed a good smack up side the head. The rock-throwing children for being so cruel, the sadistic sailors for being such scum, the church folk for being such insensitive hypocrites, Jan for being selfish and not thinking of what trouble he is encouraging his wife to get into, and most of all, Bess for being so emotionally immature, naive, and crazy. Honorable mention goes to the cameraman who was often out of focus and shaky. This film could have used some trimming but despite several flaws contained a thought-provoking story.

Varsity Blues (1999)

MTV stays consistent: More Crap!

[1/10 · 18 January 1999]

The Puff Daddy-Real World-Hanson-Singled Out Network (MTV) continues their association with absolute feces. I prayed all night that my date would not drag me to see this movie but guess what? I would have preferred seeing this on a flight where they have the courtesy to provide barf-bags. I've loved Jon Voight's work in the past and his involvement here is only that much more tragic to me. He could have spent this time working on a real film. A complete waste that, sadly, appears to be destined to make enough money to keep the crap coming from MTV.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

The most influential movie of the decade

[10/10 · 5 August 1998]

Tarentino's masterpiece has sent shockwaves through the entire film industry. So many films are clones of it, try to imitate the dialogue, or hype, where applicable, their stars "of Pulp Fiction fame." Pulp Fiction features dialogue that rings true to life, unpredictable plot turns, and plenty of humor. To best enjoy this movie, know as little about it before viewing it. The non-linear plot serves a purpose and is not merely a gimmick. It puts the most fitting part at the end of the film. Truly a historic film in many ways.

Schindler's List (1993)

Excellent - Spielberg's Best

[9/10 · 5 August 1998]

An incredible movie. One thing that stands out in my mind about this classic film is the great characterization of all the players due to superb acting, directing, and scripting. Ralph Fiennes character is especially vile but at the same time human. He may be 95% evil but to not present a stereotypical and archetypical 100% bad character makes him infinately more realistic. Filmed in black and white, this story certainly shows the shades of gray that is the duality of man. This is further exemplified by Schindler's own declaration of being a bad person because he could have done more good and saved more lives.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Best War-Action Scenes Ever, Story Fair

[7/10 · 1 August 1998]

This movie contained the most realistic and horrifying combat footage I've ever seen. They really exceeded my already high expectations. The story, however, is lacking in spots. The German soldiers were far too impersonal. This would have made a great anti-war film if that point had been driven home with a more balanced story.