- Bonnie: What if we get there and it's a scam?
- Adam: What scam would that be? Someone put an ad on Craigslist to make 2 old people drive 3 hours? 'Ha ha, I've stolen your time'?
- Bonnie: No, we get there, check out the jukebox, the guy says 'I'll box it up for you', they put the box in the van, we get home and there's no jukebox, just a bunch of bricks and sand.
- Adam: Who would ever do something like that?
- [looks at her]
- Adam: Oh.
- Bonnie: [nods] I did that with stereo speakers, I sold the same set 78 times and where are they today? In our living room.
- Christy: How's your day?
- Tammy: It was great when I woke up, then I go into the kitchen and Marjorie's left me a note. 'Don't forget to put the milk back in the fridge, XO, Marjorie'. She doesn't mean the X, she doesn't mean the O, and why would she need to sign her name, who else would've written it? The cats? They can't write! And they would NEVER want the milk put away.
- Bonnie: [to Christy] Look, I'm using and enjoying my wedding present chip clips. I know it was a gift out of spite, but I'm calling it, game changer!
- Tammy: [finding out Bonnie and Adam eloped] Now I won't get to shove cake into Adam's face.
- Wendy Harris: That's the bride.
- Tammy: I know who's who!
- Marjorie Armstrong: Are you nervous?
- Adam: This is my second time getting married in 3 days, I think I'm getting the hang of it.