- Wally Banks: Now, tell me, Mr. Finn, have you even seen a pair of scissors so sharp that can cut right through copper?
- Angus Finn: Oh, sure, let's just deface some U.S. currency.
- Tanya Appel: Being third-string quarterback does not qualify you as a leader.
- Jed Bennet: And having daddy issues does not qualify you to make fun of me, I'm not your bad dad, even though I know you want me to be your daddy.
- Tanya Appel: Ew.
- Jed Bennet: You want me to adopt you.
- Wally Banks: When I hold up this Potato Carver Plus in front of me, what's the first thing you see?
- Angus Finn: A knife.
- Wally Banks: Okay, but what specifically?
- Angus Finn: A virgin holding a knife.