- Geralt of Rivia: At least when Filavandrel's blade kissed my throat, I didn't shit myself. Which is all I can hope for you, good lords. At your final breath, a shitless death. But I doubt it.
- Geralt of Rivia: I will not suffer tonight sober just because you hid your sausage in the wrong royal pantry.
- Jaskier: I've always wanted to know, do witchers ever retire?
- Geralt of Rivia: Yeah. When they slow and get killed.
- Jaskier: It is one night bodyguarding your very best friend in the whole wide world. How hard could it be?
- Geralt of Rivia: I'm not your friend.
- Jaskier: Oh, really? Oh, you usually just let strangers rub chamomile onto your lovely bottom?
- Geralt of Rivia: Destiny helps people believe there's an order to this horseshit. There isn't. But a promise made must be honored. As true for a commoner as it is for a queen.
- Yennefer: [Yennefer has failed to protect her two charges - a queen and her infant daughter- from an assassin. She has portaled away from the confrontation after the queen died trying to sacrifice her daughter in her own place; Yennefer killing the assassin, whose final blow killed the child. She sits alone on a sandy beach, looking out at the waves at sunset; she speaks to the dead child wrapped in blankets beside her] "I'm sorry you didn't get a life. But truth be told, you're not missing much. I know, it's easy for me to say, with warm breath in my lungs, and you with nothing. Still. What would you have had?... Parents? Well they're the ones who wrote your last act, so not much loss there... . Friends? Most likely fair-weather... . Lovers? Fun for a bit, I'll admit. But all eventually disappoint... . And let's face it. You're a girl. Your mother was right about one thing. We're just vessels. And even when you're told you're special, as I was. As you would have been. We're still just vessels. For them to take, and take. Until we're empty. And alone... . So count yourself lucky. You've cheated the game. Won without even knowing it."
- [She turns to the baby's body and starts to pile sand over and around the tiny corpse, then whispers]
- Yennefer: "Sleep well."
- [She finishes burying the child, then gets up and walks down the beach]
- Geralt of Rivia: How many of these lords want to kill you?
- Jaskier: Hard to say. One stops keeping count after a while. Wives, concubines, mothers sometimes.
- Jaskier: [sotto] All right, so stay close to me, look mean and pretend you're a mute. Can't have anyone finding out who you actually are...
- Mousesack: [booming] Geralt of Rivia, the mighty witcher!
- Jaskier: Shit...
- Mousesack: I haven't seen you since the plague!
- Geralt of Rivia: Good times, Mousesack.
- Mousesack: [laughs] I've missed your sour complexion.
- Queen Calanthe: How does a witcher find himself at my daughter's wedding feast dressed like a...
- Geralt of Rivia: I'm protecting the bard from vengeful royal cuckolds.
- Queen Calanthe: Hmm. Idiots, the lot of them.
- Jaskier: [after the many ordeals at the wedding feast] I think this has the makings of my greatest ballad yet.
- Queen Kalis: I'm just a womb to him. No more than a fleshy contraption for squeezing out heirs. Bastard cares more about his hounds than he does me... I envy you. Truly. A king's mage. People look at you for who you are, not for what you can give them.
- Yennefer: I love... that I traded everything to get my seat at court. I love that I believed that it would all be worth it, that this would be my legacy. The greatest mage to have ever graced a court. And I really, really love... that instead, I've gotten to spend the last three decades cleaning up stupid political messes. Glorified royal arse wiper.
- Seething Lord: Something about you reminds me of a scoundrel I once saw fleeing my wife's chambers!
- Jaskier: Um, well...
- Seething Lord: Drop your trousers.
- Jaskier: What?
- Seething Lord: I didn't get a proper look at the little shit's face, but that pimply arse I'd remember anywhere.
- Mousesack: If you dismiss it, leave without claiming this child surprise, you will surely unleash true calamity upon us all.
- Geralt of Rivia: I'll take that chance.
- Jaskier: Now, Witcher, it's time to repay your debt. "What debt?" you're probably asking yourself in your head right now. Well, I'll tell you. I've made you famous, Witcher. By rights, I should be claiming ten percent of all your coin, but instead, what I'm asking for is a teeny, teeny-weeny little favor.
- Geralt of Rivia: Tell me, Your Majesty; why do you risk your life on the battlefield when you can rest on your throne?
- Queen Calanthe: Because there is a simplicity in killing monsters, is there not?
- Councilman: He stood in the middle of that frozen lake like he knew it was coming for him. The ice cracked open and a selkiemore shot out! Oh, you've never seen one, but it'd take down a ship with its cavernous mouth full of devil's teeth!
- [Gasping]
- Councilman: And it... swallowed... that witcher... whole!
- Jaskier: [Writing] Oh, this is brilliant!
- [the man stares, shocked]
- Jaskier: Oh, sorry. It's just Geralt's usually so stingy with the details.
- Queen Calanthe: That boorish lout is the key to Cintra holding power after I taste clay. He's from good stock. You could do worse.
- Pavetta: I could do better!