- Colonel Beauregard Trimbald: We have a saying in the toilet industry that a good toilet is a better listener than it is a talker.
- Lillian Bellacourt: I don't understand what that means.
- Colonel Beauregard Trimbald: It means it takes in more than it spits out.
- Lillian Bellacourt: I never spit out!
- Colonel Beauregard Trimbald: Oh, ho, you're a sweet little toilet, aren't you? You know, a lot of girls say they're 11 when they're really 15.
- Lillian Bellacourt: I would never lie to you.