- Rose Weissman: And your act is clean enough for television?
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: The Act is clean... However, I do it in the nude.
- Abe Weissman: I was just thinking about the irony of tenure.
- Simon: What irony?
- Abe Weissman: Well, for instance, the fact that I could take this cheese-knife, and stick it in your eye, and the university would still have to pay me. I'd be in jail, but I'd still be paid.
- Simon: Are you seriously thinking of doing that?
- Abe Weissman: [pause] No.
- Simon: You hesitated.
- Abe Weissman: [pause] Yes. I did.