- Julia Wicker: I know why you were looking for me and the key. It showed you visions of the future. Me killing you.
- Quentin Coldwater: Julia...
- Julia Wicker: I'm here to tell you I'm not - I'm not going to kill you. I want to help you.
- Quentin Coldwater: The visions weren't of you killing me. I saw you opening a lock at the end of the world. You were trying to let magic in but you let in something much worse.
- Eliot Waugh: Hold on, so, on Earth, the fairies are slaves, and the Fairy Queen is...
- Quentin Coldwater: A good guy, kind of?
- Margo Hanson: Uh-uh, you know what? Fuck Tinkerbitch. Fuck her right in the Egg McMuffin.
- Josh Hoberman: How did we end up at Burning Man?
- Julia Wicker: We're inside a Tesla Flexion.
- Josh Hoberman: Is that a car?
- Josh Hoberman: I will freely admit I was getting excited at the idea of a Josh-Julia solo adventure.
- Julia Wicker: Sorry.
- Josh Hoberman: Yeah, what would the shippers even call us? Josh? Julia? See? You couldn't even tell that I swapped the first letters.
- Julia Wicker: The key was supposed to take us to Fillory. It just decided to send us back here? What even are the rules?
- Josh Hoberman: Beats me, they're weirdly inconsistent.
- Alternate Josh: I don't wanna talk about my private tragedy, so unless you want me to gag you-...
- Josh Hoberman: Okay, fine, Dick Josh.
- Alternate Josh: Don't call me Dick Josh
- Josh Hoberman: Then don't be a dick, Josh.
- Alternate Josh: I've had harder life than you.
- Josh Hoberman: Did you? What makes you so sure?
- Alternate Josh: Because you get to hang out with Julia, who is awesome, and I get Marina, who is mean. All the time.
- Josh Hoberman: Quentin is The Beast. Quentin is The Beast? How the fuck is Quentin The Beast?
- Marina: ...Who's Quentin again?
- Alice Quinn: There's a creature in the Northern Marsh who can give you just about anything for a price.
- Josh Hoberman: What kind of evil creature-type deal are we talking here?
- Alice Quinn: When I die, I won't go to the Underworld. I'll belong to him.
- Josh Hoberman: So, Harvey Weinstein-type evil.
- Alternate Josh: There's this monster here killing magicians. We call him The Beast.
- Josh Hoberman: Twelve fingers. Cloud of moths around his face?
- Alternate Josh: Yeah. I tried to get people to call him Mothra but it didn't stick.
- Josh Hoberman: Here either, can't expect everyone to be down with the Kaiju classics.
- Julia Wicker: Your Beast has some sort of key?
- Marina: Mm-hmm.
- Julia Wicker: We need it.
- Marina: You help us kill our Beast, key is yours.
- Julia Wicker: Deal.
- Alternate Josh: Boom. Let's celebrate, bitches
- [pause]
- Alternate Josh: Powerful women.
- Dean Fogg: Slavery, mass murder - and yet, it smells so floral in here.
- Julia Wicker: Lucier's cleaning charm.
- Dean Fogg: Next time try less rosewater.
- Alternate Josh: We have scoured what's left of the place looking for away to defeat that moth-faced cock-whistler.
- Marina: That's how we found the Tesla Flexion, and a battery to cast it.
- Alternate Josh: And this sweet jacket. It's not magic, but might as well be.
- Marina: Give The Beast what he wants Julia, from an alternate timeline in exchange for leaving us alone.
- Josh Hoberman: And what about me?
- Alternate Josh: Sorry, bro. You're the Cedric Diggory of this story.
- Josh Hoberman: At least he died looking hot.
- Josh Hoberman: How could you do this to me, man? You're me, I'm you, we're us. I would never betray myself.
- Alternate Josh: You haven't been through what I've been through.
- Josh Hoberman: Yes I have, except the Lasik.
- Alternate Josh: There's more than that.
- Josh Hoberman: Whatever. You know, I thought you were cool and brave. And I dug your jacket, but now I just think you're a dick, which sucks, because that means I'm a dick.
- Marina: If you think following two strangers and then kissing one of them is dream behavior-...
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: She's not a stranger. She's my soul mate.
- Marina: Oh, God.
- Julia Wicker: Um, I'm I'm actually not your Julia. You see, I'm from a different timeline.
- Marina: One where romantic comedy behavior gets you arrested.
- William 'Penny 23' Adiyodi: So what's up with me in your timeline?
- Josh Hoberman: Well, you're kind of in the Underworld.
- William 'Penny 23' Adiyodi: Not good.
- Josh Hoberman: I'm not sure you're technically dead.
- William 'Penny 23' Adiyodi: So, in the Underworld, but not dead? That sounds worse.
- Marina: I think someone is following us.
- Julia Wicker: On my signal, get out of the way.
- [pause]
- Julia Wicker: Now!
- Marina: That's your signal?