- John Potato: Good evening. Here is tonight's news. Prince Charles, well known for growing potatoes, will be visiting sewers under Britain. When asked by a spokes potato why he wasn't being accompanied by any potatoes, the Prince said 'Good gracious, a talking potato', and ran away. Other news: three blind mice were chased by a farmer's wife today with a carving knife. Eh, there were no potatoes involved.
- Doc Croc: Right now, just in case we've got it wrong and some of this rubbish is funny, please write in and let us know so we can stop it immediately. Adress at the end of the show.
- Colonel Handlebar Moustache: [the False Teeth spaceship is unable to leave as it's been clamped] Good old traffic wardens!
- Roger Prentice the apprentice dentist: Yes. Evil has been defeated by evil.