- Artsy Woman: What do you feel?
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: Hungry. I thought there'd be snacks.
- Artsy Woman: You just seemed very immersed.
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: In what? Oh. This, yes. Very.
- Artsy Woman: He paints completely naked.
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: Well, Oil-based paint is hard to get out of most fabrics.
- [Woman abruptly walks away]
- Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: Seriously, how do you respond to, "He paints naked"? I'm just asking.
- Mrs. Moskowitz: If you're going to be that available, you should consider putting a doorbell on your blouse.
- Susie Myerson: We have to tour. We need a car. You can't tour without a car.
- Tessie: Well, doesn't your comic friend have a car?
- Susie Myerson: No. She's got, like, forty thousand hats, but no car.
- Tessie: The highlight of my day is thinking up different ways to kill my husband. One of us needs a win.
- Susie Myerson: Thanks, Sis.
- Susie Myerson: Beat him to death with his leg?
- Tessie: I'll put it on the list.