Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Pilot (2019)

Jill Harris: Charlie Magne

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Charlie investigates a knock on the hotel door, opening to her shock to see Alastor] 

  Alastor : Hel-

  [Charlie slams the door. Processes for a moment then reopens] 

  Alastor : -lo!

  Charlie : [Charlie slams the door again]  Hey Vaggie?

  Vaggie : Whaat?

  Charlie : The Radio Demon is at the door!

  Vaggie : WHAT?

  Angel Dust : Uh, who?

  Charlie : What should I do?

  Vaggie : [scoffs]  Well, don't let him in!

  Alastor : [Charlie hesitates, but ends up opening the door]  May I speak now?

  Charlie : You may.

  Alastor : Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart! Quite a pleasure! Excuse my sudden visit but I saw your fiasco on the picture show, and I just couldn't resist! What the performance! Why I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929!

  [entertained laugh] 

  Alastor : So many orphans...

  Vaggie : [Holds up Alastor with a spear]  Stop right there! Cabrón hijo de perra! I know your game, and I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone here! You pompous, cheesy, talk show shitlord!

  Alastor : [lowering Vaggie's spear]  Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here...

  [turns demonic] 

  Alastor : ... I would had done so already.

  [returns to normal] 

  Alastor : No! I'm here because I want to help!

  Charlie : ...Say what now?

  Alastor : Help!

  [laughs] 

  Alastor : Hello? Is this thing on? Testing! Testing!

  [Alastor nudges his microphone staff] 

  The Microphone : Well I heard you loud and clear!

• Vaggie : Okay, you remember what to say?

  Charlie : [breaths in]  Yes! Let's do this!

  Vaggie : Just look at me, and I'll mouth it to you.

  Charlie : Come on, Vaggie. I know what to say! I just feel like we need to... I dunno, make things sound more exciting. Ooh, what if I si...

  Vaggie : Sing a song about it?

  Charlie : You knew I was gonna say that.

  Vaggie : Because I know you. But *please* don't sing. This is serious.

  Charlie : Well, you know... I'm better at expressing myself and goals through song!

  Vaggie : But, life isn't a musical, hon.

  Charlie : Fine. But, I have these other ideas of what to say.

  [excited and giddy] 

  Charlie : The highlighted bits are the best parts!

  Vaggie : Uh, it's *ALL* highlighted... Is this a drawing?

  Charlie : Yes! That's the happy ending, see? Everyone smiling and happy in Heaven!

  Vaggie : I don't think it's that simple. Just *please* follow the talking points we went over.

  [pulls Charlie close] 

  Vaggie : And DO. NOT. SING.

• Katie Killjoy : Tell us. How does it feel to be such a total failure?

  [She bursts out laughing] 

  Charlie : Yeah? Well... How does it feel that I got your pen? Huh... BITCH?