In the midst of the dearth of creativity that currently plagues the modern movie industry, it is so refreshing to see filmmakers who want to display a true work of art on the silver screen. That is exactly what we get with "Human Fidget Spinner," which is witty, smart, hilarious, emotional, relevant, and one of the best films of the year. Forget about Detroit, Dunkirk, Baby Driver, Get Out, Logan, Blade Runner: 2049, and so forth; this is the only true masterpiece of cinema that I have had the distinguished pleasure of viewing this year.
Don't worry, I won't spoil anything here -- I wouldn't dream of ruining the cinematic equivalent of the Sistine Chapel or Beethoven's 5th. I think it is important to go into this film without any prior knowledge of the characters, setting, situations, or plot, as I did, for the cinematic impact will be much more profound. Despite the seemingly constant ads and commercials playing on television every time you turn around, I have been fortunate enough to never catch so much as a glimpse, so when I walked into that movie theater on a lazy Sunday afternoon expecting another run-of-the- mill Hollywood cash grab, I was truly flabbergasted to realize I was witnessing one of the greatest films ever put to screen. Again, no spoilers -- but I will say this much: the film involves humans, and fidget spinners, and to my profound amazement, what happens when both of them combine to form to ultimate, human fidget spinner. Obviously that is not revealing any plot points supposed to be kept under wraps; you could infer that from the title. But where the concept of human fidget spinners takes you is where you witness true cinematic magic, and I wouldn't think of ruining that experience; that discovery, for any prospective viewer.
You can toss your well-established collection of "classics" of cinema; your Citizen Kane's, your Godfather's, your Casablanca's, your 2001: A Space Odyssey's -- this is the only film you need now. I was once proud of my 278 DVD collection of "classic" films, intricately aligned along my bedroom shelf for display, but I have thrown them all out now and replaced them with, you guess it, 278 DVD copies of Human Fidget Spinner. Every time I pop in the DVD player, which is almost hourly at this point, I choose a new copy, so they all know that I love each and every one of them equally. After viewing the film again and picking up on dozens of minor details that I hadn't noticed upon last viewing, I slowly caress the disc as I lay alone in a candle-lit room and concentrate only on the idea of human fidget spinners. I recommend the same for anyone else whose television screens are graced by this cinematic game-changer.
But enough about me. A review is for you, the viewer -- and all any viewer wants to know from a review, in essence, is, "Should I watch this movie or not?" In case I haven't main it painfully clear so far, yes, you absolutely should. No other movie will have you laughing, crying, screaming, yelling four-letter words at the screen, and in utter silence all at the same time. That is something I can personally guarantee. So what are you waiting for? Stop reading this review, and track down Human Fidget Spinner anywhere you can, whether it be movie theater, video store, online streaming program, what have you. One cannot describe the cinematic heights that this film take you to; you must experience it for yourself to know that. This is, I have decided, the greatest film ever made -- yes, I know, it looks like I'm just jumping on the bandwagon with everyone else singing this movie's praises, but I mean it, from the bottom of my heart. This is why we go to the movies. So go to this one. --
RATING: 10/10