- Lt. John LaMarr: Hey, ah, Steve, you think we could change the music? Something less depressing.
- Steve Newton: You got to get cultured, my friend. Barry Manilow was an under-appreciated genius of his time
- Lt. John LaMarr: Then how come I want to throw myself out the airlock?
- Yaphit: I gotta say, watching your corpse drift away to this music would be so peaceful.
- Isaac: Your children are unruly, disrespectful, volatile, and highly unpredictable. I am quite fond of them.
- Dr. Claire Finn: Welcome to the family.
- Isaac: On my planet, when a program is not functioning properly, it is deleted.
- Dr. Claire Finn: That's always an option.
- Isaac: If you wish, I will vaporize them.
- Dr. Claire Finn: No! For god's sake, I'm kidding.
- Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: [after passing through the spatial anomaly] Damage report.
- Lt. Alara Kitan: Multiple hull fractures, nine overloaded power conduits, and Ensign Davis spilled soy sauce on his pants.
- Capt. Ed Mercer: He put that in a damage report?
- Lt. Alara Kitan: Yes.
- Capt. Ed Mercer: My god, we got to get better people.
- Isaac: I have noticed that many other families on the Orville include two parents. Where is your counterpart?
- Dr. Claire Finn: I don't have a husband.
- Isaac: Was he destroyed?
- Dr. Claire Finn: No.
- Isaac: Did you grow to despise each other and terminate your coupling?
- Dr. Claire Finn: I chose to be a single mother. I always wanted kids, but never found a man I wanted to have them with.
- Isaac: Ah. Artificial impregnation.
- Dr. Claire Finn: You're getting a tad personal, don't you think?
- Dr. Claire Finn: I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of my kids. They're everything to me.
- Isaac: I thank you for the opportunity to observe them. It was quite informative.
- Dr. Claire Finn: The boys adore you. I don't know why or how you managed to keep them in line, but... I'm sure as hell glad you did.
- Yaphit: [after Kelly reports Dr. Finn's disappearance] Did she say Claire's missing?
- Capt. Ed Mercer: Yeah. How soon can you guys be done here?
- Steve Newton: Sir, we're still at least two days away from finishing the upgrade.
- Capt. Ed Mercer: Well, it's gonna have to wait. John, report to the bridge, set a course for Dr. Finn's last known coordinates.
- Lt. John LaMarr: Uh, well, how am I supposed to do that? You see that pile of crap on the floor? That's our navigational array.
- Capt. Ed Mercer: Well, you're just gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way. Star charts.
- Lt. John LaMarr: [sarcastic, under his breath] Oh, great.
- Yaphit: Do not get us lost, man.
- Isaac: Doctor, are your children always this combative?
- Dr. Claire Finn: Only when they're awake.
- Isaac: The older, less intelligent one seems to derive pleasure from inflicting damage upon his younger, weaker sibling.
- Dr. Claire Finn: He's a kid. They act up.
- Ty Finn: Ow!
- Dr. Claire Finn: Oh, my god. If I have to come back there one more time, I will lose my mind. Knock it off!
- Isaac: Your commands have little to no effect on their behavior. Perhaps you should re-evaluate your method of controlling them.
- Dr. Claire Finn: Just what I need. Parenting tips from a talking hubcap.
- Isaac: You harbor prejudice against artificial lifeforms.
- Dr. Claire Finn: Only against lifeforms that think they're better than everyone else.
- Isaac: I *am* better than everyone else.
- Dr. Claire Finn: Oh, and so modest.
- Isaac: It was not intended as a boast, merely a statement of fact. My only directive is to study human behavior in the interest of relations between Kaylon and the Union.
- Dr. Claire Finn: You want to improve relations? Don't tell a mother how to raise her kids.