Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)
Tom Holland: Peter Parker, Spider-Man
Photos
Quotes
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Happy Hogan : You handle the suit. I'll handle the music.
['Back in Black' by AC/DC plays]
Peter Parker : Oh, I love Led Zeppelin!
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Nick Fury : We have a job to do, and you're coming with us.
Peter Parker : There's gotta be someone else you can use. What about Thor?
Nick Fury : Off-world.
Peter Parker : Doctor Strange
Maria Hill : Unavailable.
Peter Parker : Captain Marvel.
Nick Fury : Don't you invoke her name!
Peter Parker : I'm just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
Nick Fury : Bitch, please! You've been to space.
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Peter Parker : Everywhere I go, I see his face. I just really miss him.
Happy Hogan : Yeah, I miss him too. I don't think Tony would've done what he did, if he didn't know you were gonna be here after he was gone.
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Peter Parker : How could you do all of this?
Quentin Beck : You'll see, Peter. People... need to believe. And nowadays, they'll believe anything.
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Peter Parker : MJ, I...
MJ : ...am Spider-Man?
Peter Parker : No. Of course not!
MJ : I mean it's... kind of obvious.
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Happy Hogan : Heads-up. Nick Fury's calling you.
[Peter notices his phone ringing]
Peter Parker : I don't really wanna talk to Nick Fury.
Happy Hogan : Answer the phone.
Peter Parker : Why?
Happy Hogan : Because if you don't talk to him, I have to talk to him. I don't want to talk to him.
[Peter declines Fury's call]
Happy Hogan : You sent Nick Fury to voicemail?
Peter Parker : I gotta go.
Happy Hogan : You do not ghost Nick Fury!
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[mid-credit scene]
Pat Kiernan : We come to you now with revelations about last week's attack in London. An anonymous source provided this video, it shows Quentin Beck, aka, Mysterio, moments before his death. A warning: You may find this video disturbing.
Mysterio : I managed to send the Elemental back into the dimensional rift but I don't think I'm gonna make it off this bridge alive. Spider-Man attacked me for some reason. He has an army of weaponized drones, Stark technology. He's saying he's the only one who's gonna be the new Iron Man, no one else.
[cut to altered footage of the Tower Bridge battle]
E.D.I.T.H. : Are you sure you want to commence the drone attack? There'll be significant causalities.
Spider-Man : Do it. Execute them all.
Pat Kiernan : This shocking video was released earlier today on the controversial news website 'thedailybugle.net.'
J. Jonah Jameson : There you have it folks: conclusive proof that Spider-Man was responsible for the brutal murder of Mysterio! An interdimensional warrior who gave his life to protect our planet, and who will no doubt, go down in history as the greatest superhero of all time! But that's not all folks, here's the real blockbuster. Brace yourselves, you might wanna sit down.
Mysterio : Spider-Man's real... Spider-Man's real name is - Spider-Man's name is Peter Parker!
[cut back to a mortified Spider-Man in NYC]
Spider-Man : What the fu - !
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Peter Parker : What's your password?
Happy Hogan : Password.
Peter Parker : No, what is your password?
Happy Hogan : Password. The word spelled out.
Peter Parker : You're head of security and your password is "password"?
Happy Hogan : I don't feel good about it either.
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Peter Parker : I think Nick Fury just hijacked our summer vacation.
Ned Leeds : Awesome.
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[deleted scene]
Police Officer : You're going to be the next Iron Man now?
Spider-Man : Well, no, I don't have time. I'm too busy doing your job.
Spider-Man : I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Look, you're gonna have to do your job for a couple weeks, okay? Because *I* am going on vacation.
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Mysterio : Fury asked me to check you were OK.
Peter Parker : That was nice.
Mysterio : You do have sarcasm on this world, don't you?
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Nick Fury : And this is Mr. Beck.
Peter Parker : Mysterio?
Quentin Beck : What?
Peter Parker : Doesn't matter. It's what my friends have been calling you.
Quentin Beck : Well, you can call me Quentin. You handled yourself well out there today. I saw that you did with the tower. We could use someone like you on my world.
Peter Parker : Thanks. I'm sorry. Your world?
Nick Fury : Mr. Beck is from Earth. Just not yours.
Quentin Beck : There are multiple realities. This is Earth Dimension 616. I'm from Earth 833.
Peter Parker : [excitedly] I'm sorry, you're saying there's a multiverse? 'Cause I thought that was theoretical. That changes how we understand the initial singularity. We're talking about an eternal inflation system. How does that even work with the quantum...? It's insane.
[Fury and Hill look strangely at Peter]
Peter Parker : [embarrassed] Sorry.
Quentin Beck : [humorously] Don't ever apologize for being the smartest one in the room.
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Peter Parker : Peter Parker here to pick up a passport please!
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Peter Parker : Happy, is that you?
Happy Hogan : Is it me? Yeah, of course it's me!
Peter Parker : Stop! Tell me something only you would know!
Happy Hogan : Only I would know... Uh... Remember when we went to Germany? You pay-per-viewed a video in your room? They didn't list the titles but I could tell by the price that it was an adult film at the front desk, and you didn't know how I knew...
Peter Parker : Ok ok! Stop!
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Spider-Man : Excuse me, sir! I can help! Let me help! I'm really strong and I'm... sticky!
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Peter Parker : You can't trick me anymore.
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May Parker : Hungry?
[May throws a banana at Peter and hits him in the face]
May Parker : You can dodge bullets but not bananas?
May Parker : I thought that you could sense that with your Peter-Tingle.
Peter Parker : Please stop saying "Tingle", May.
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MJ : You know, Susan Yang thinks you're a male escort.
Peter Parker : What? No! Of course I'm not a male escort.
MJ : Well then you're Spider-Man.
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Peter Parker : The world needs the next Iron Man.
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Nick Fury : How's the suit?
Peter Parker : It's a little tight around the ol' web-shooter.
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Peter Parker : Uh, I have like a sixth sense.
Happy Hogan : The Peter-Tingle!
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MJ : Want to go in, on a pair?
Peter Parker : You mean like sit next to each other?
MJ : Yeah.
Nick Fury : [in Peter's earpiece] Parker, you in position?
Peter Parker : No...
MJ : [Thinks Peter is rejecting her] Okay... no?
Nick Fury : [In Peter's Earpiece] Why the hell not?
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Peter Parker : Go to the Eiffel Tower. Should be great.
MJ : Yeah, I read it was secretly built as a mind control antenna to create an army of the insane.
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Mr. Harrington : Just making rounds, seeing if anyone needs any emotional counseling after today's traumatic events.
Peter Parker : No we're okay. We're- we're fine. Thank you.
Mr. Harrington : Great. 'Cause, I'm not- I'm not qualified.
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Happy Hogan : Hey, sorry I'm late.
May Parker : Happy! Hey.
Happy Hogan : Oh, you look lovely.
May Parker : Thank you, you too.
Happy Hogan : Thank you. New dress?
May Parker : Uh, yeah. Yes, it is. That's a new beard.
Happy Hogan : It's my blip beard, because I grew it in a blip. Blip beard.
May Parker : I see.
Spider-Man : What just happened?
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Peter Parker : I've face a lot of deception, and I'm tired of the lies. So it's time for the truth to be out there. Are you dating?
Happy Hogan : Yes.
May Parker : Not really.
Happy Hogan : What? I think...
May Parker : It's a summer fling.
Happy Hogan : Yes, that evolves and grows like any other. Open to wherever it might lead.
May Parker : I still don't know where it's going to go. Anywhere. On or off.
Happy Hogan : And to share with people...
May Parker : But we'll always be friends, no matter what.
Peter Parker : I'm going to go, because I've got a date. Uh, bye.
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[Spider-Man is fighting several armed mobsters in an upper-class restaurant, wearing his Iron Spider armor]
Spider-Man : Let's keep it moving guys, I got a lot to do today!
[continues to web up several of the mobsters]
Spider-Man : Alright, I'm gonna give this place one star.
[a mobster unloads his entire machine gun on Spider-Man, who falls down but then re-emerges]
Spider-Man : Just kidding, it's bulletproof!
[as more mobsters attack Spider-Man, he snarkily makes quips at them while webbing them up]
Spider-Man : Guys, guys, I just wanted dressing on the side! Red bell pepper, anyone? That's it, I'm definitely not giving you a 20% tip!
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[Peter enters the empty pub, as instructed by Dimitri, and meets the Seamstress]
Peter Parker : Hello.
The Seamstress : Close the door.
[Peter closes the door and approaches the Seamstress to shake her hand]
Peter Parker : Um... I'm Peter Parker.
The Seamstress : Take off your clothes.
Peter Parker : Excuse me?
The Seamstress : You told Fury Spider-Man cannot be seen in Europe. So I made you this, another suit.
[Seamstress offers Peter a black package]
Peter Parker : Oh, uh, thank you. I'm sure it fits fine. I don't need to try...
The Seamstress : Take off your clothes.
Peter Parker : Okay. Sure.
[Peter puts down the package and his backpack before unzipping his pants]
Peter Parker : This is embarrassing.
The Seamstress : Now. Hurry up.
Peter Parker : This is weird. Heh.
[Peter pulls down his pants when Brad suddenly enters the pub. Peter runs behind the Seamstress]
Peter Parker : No, no, no. Uh, don't...
Brad Davis : Whoa!
Peter Parker : Uh.
Brad Davis : Sorry. Uh, I thought this was the bathroom.
Peter Parker : This is not what it looks like! Just...
Brad Davis : Yeah.
[Brad takes a picture of Peter and the Seamstress]
Peter Parker : What are you doing? Brad...
Brad Davis : I'll leave you alone.
[as Brad walks away, the Seamstress prepares to shoot him]
Peter Parker : Oh, my God. Don't shoot anybody.
[Peter pulls his pants up and chases after Brad]
Peter Parker : Brad? It's not what it looks like, buddy. Hey, man, look, that's...
Brad Davis : Look, Peter. I'm not here to judge your life choices, dude. If you want to hook up with some random European chick, that's on you.
Peter Parker : That's not what it was. Honestly.
Brad Davis : I can't pretend I didn't see what I just saw. I know you're trying to get with MJ. It's obvious. But I like her too.
Peter Parker : Wait a minute. Hey, hey. You cannot show her that photo, dude. Come on.
Brad Davis : I'm sorry, man. I have to. She deserves the truth.
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Spider-Man : Show's over, Beck.
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Quentin Beck : Where you headed?
Peter Parker : I'm gonna go find MJ.
Quentin Beck : Good luck, kid. I'll give you about a fifty-fifty chance. You're pretty awkward, so...
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Peter Parker : [to journalists] Does anyone have any neighborhood questions?
