The Magicians (TV Series)

We Have Brought You Little Cakes (2017)

Nico Evers-Swindell: Nigel, Umber

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nigel : I like you. You care about things.

  Quentin Coldwater : Yeah, it's not really a trait that's helped me much.

  Nigel : But it could be if it were applied to not trying to fix the unfixable, but rather something fresh and more perfect, like, say...

  [Gestures to his "Cuba" globe] 

  Nigel : Care to take a visit? Make some notes?

  Quentin Coldwater : [stammers]  I... uh... I...

  Nigel : I'm sorry, but you're acting like I'm asking you. Whereas I am a god and you are a hairless monkey. So nod and say thank you.

  [Quentin nods] 

  Nigel : All right. Let's go to the pocket world formerly known as Cuba.

• Nigel : How's the linguini?

  Quentin Coldwater : There's nothing wrong with it.

  Nigel : [Writing]  Excellent. That's excellent.

  Quentin Coldwater : [Clears throat]  It's maybe a little, uh-...

  Nigel : Chewy?

  Quentin Coldwater : Bland.

  Nigel : Bland good, or...?

  Quentin Coldwater : Bland is never really good or bad.

  Nigel : It appeals to all tastes.

  Quentin Coldwater : Sure, but usually people, uh creatures who can think, gods even sometimes like the unknown, the unexpected, even the offensive. Little bit of, uh...

  [Trails off] 

  Nigel : Chaos.

• Margo Hanson : Think back to what you built with your brother Umber.

  Ember : My brother, rest his soul, was nothing but a simpering, sniping, anal retentive critic, as well as a - -

  [Cut to Umber] 

  Nigel : Greedy, promiscuous, selfish, credit-hogging, mouse-eating slob!

• Nigel : What on earth are you doing here, sad little nerd king?