"Fanny und die geheimen Väter", which means "Fanny and the secret fathers", is a German television movie from 2016, so this one will have its fifth anniversary a few months from now. The movie runs for 1.5 hours, minimally under, and the director was Mark Monheim. This was only his second full feature movie release and as I liked his first, I wondered how he could continue and if he could keep the level. Obviously he could not. And it is not only this movie that is an issue, but basically almost everything he has worked on after his rookie project. Really weak body of work by now. Same applies to writer Thomas Oliver Walendy with the crucial difference that he launched his career considerably earlier, namel in the old millennium already. Then again, Monheim did too, even if it was just a short film, so you can say that both were in the industry for slightly under or over 20 years when they worked on this film we got here. And this is maybe the most embarrassing thing how, after such a pretty long time, they have not managed to reach a level that is beyond nonsense like this film here. It may sound harsh, but it is true. They are basically taking the easy and highly uninspired route by working on ARD Degeto films that offer no creativity whatsoever which was clear since the very start, but that have a lot of money behind them, money that comes from the GEZ and that almost every German is forced to pay or they will have to go to jail. I call it blackmail. Especially as said money is not used for really neutral news coverage the way they say, but for highly biased coverage and, just as bad, for hundreds, if not thousands, of trashy movies like this one here. You can literally see lead actress Jutta Speidel's delight that she can be a part of this when looking at the poster here on imdb. Highly despicable. So yes, what is there to day about her. She is like an older Neubauer, Thomalla, Ferres, Furzwängler etc. Absolutely no acting talent, no range, no versatility, but gets constantly cast for lead characters because many are obviously simple enough to think she is able to deliver strong female character performances. The opposite is the case and I applaud every woman especially that is able to see through this charade. Speidel is unwatchable. Always has been, always will be. One can only hope that now that she is closer to 70 than to 60, she will eventually retire at some point in the near future. With this film we have here, however, she once lets her complete lack of talent all out again. As for the supporting cast, Jennifer Ulrich is one that maybe young audiences will recognize. I see nothing in her either, so kinda fitting she is in this movie. At least, she is more attractive than usual here, but this is probably also only because of the tons of make-up they used on her this time. Admittedly, her material is also as poor as it gets and I am sure they did this because they did not want anybody to steal Speidel's spotlight. Lena Stolze, however, it makes me a bit sad to see her in films like this. I think she is really better than that, especially if you take a look at the stuff she did in the 80s until her Oscar-nominated movie in 1990 even. Then again, nobody forced her to appear in this film here. Probably a monetary decision too and kinda funny how they, on the one hand acted as if the main character here was really smart and on the other hand she did not know this relatively simple word. And finally Murali Perumal is in here too. Must say I am not really familiar with him, but it surprises me a bit to see he played in some pretty big international movies lately. Back to this one here though: This is basically the first of two films that were released almost at the same time. Another Fanny/Speidel movie aired exactly a week later and I watched that one already months ago and let me say that both are really horrible. Couldn't say which one is worse. Kinda fitting thought that not only Speidel and some other cast members returned, but that Monheim and Valendy were also back. And hey, they could not end with this one here because out kind-hearted Fanny still has to take care of the disabled young man and cannot simply say she won't because she is not a saint.
A few references about this film we got here. Take Speidel again. I must say I think that everybody should act and dress the way they want, but still to me looking at the clothes she wears in her films, not just this one here, always gives off a vibe that she is kinda desperate to make a youthful impression. The colors. The cuts. Everything. Also really fitting how we are supposed to respect her for not adhering to clothes regulations in her profession. Really nice because she agreed on those when she signed the contract. But let's forget that in the face of her evil (former) boss saying that her clothes kinda justified that man grabbing her ass. So yes, there is always a sexual component to Speidel's characters. One thing we always have is guys being romantically or sexually interested in her like the one I just mentioned in the train. Or the guy who threatens her near the end that he will sue her and a few nice words and eye contact from her and he is all happy again and likes her. Man up and don't let her get away with stuff like that. The most ridiculous thing, however, is that we are supposed to like the character. I mean isn't she charmingly clumsy that they tow away her car in the very first scene (happened to all of us right?) or maybe the worst moment for me was when she gets this job near the end (of course she does!) and first thing she does is act really cocky towards the other applicants that are all not even half her age, but of course they pick our beloved Fanny for the job. No words really. Also how dare they use an old Cat Stevens song in this movie. Is there no copyright attached to that. Can some lawyer maybe sue the makers of this film here and the consequence is that this film must not be shown again? Oh well, they would show it anyway without the song then I am sure. Bad news is that as this is still relatively recent, it will be on national television for at least another decade. This is where your GEZ money goes, folks. What else can I say here? I have not even mentioned the key plot about the protagonist finding out that the man she thought to be her father actually wasn't and the real father just died. We see the corpse in the coffin on one occasion. He looks old, but taking into account that Speidel was over 60 already when she made this film, the man must have been (almost) 90 and this old he certainly was not. But hey, maybe they want us to think Speidel is 45 in this film. Sigh. At the same time, we have out kind Fanny agree that a young woman can live with her because this woman also has father issues (at the same time, very realistic) and she confronts her real dad and the man says that it was a ONS and he wants no contact and not be remembered of this affair every day. So as always, the males are despicable here. Either they are disabled or they are weak (the young lawyer) or they are heartless (the boss and the father I just mentioned) or they are dead or they randomly grab female strangers' butt cheeks. How could I forget about him haha. Of course, said woman was also immediately sexually harrassed by a guy she wanted to stay with when she did not know where to sleep, but luckily Fanny is there to comfort her. And of course, she cannot stay for one night only, but almost moves in there it seems. I already mentioned the fairly younng lawyer, the one who constantly acts like a fool and if he has no clue next to the super confident Fanny, but hey at least he knows the meaning of the word monetary. The actor there is pretty much my age, minimally younger, and boy was he bad. Just take the scene when he reads the "I am your father" letter. But Speidel is right up (no, down) there with him and her over-the-top reaction is just as cringeworthy. Ham and over the top are the perfect words to describe Speidel. The biggest challenge acting-wise for her in this film was maybe the moment in which he bursts into tears outside when she is near that car. A prime example of how this actress could not convincingly portray a semi-challenging scene if her life depended on it. But hey, at least she was together with this much younger Italian coffee dude for a long time and this apparently is enough already to get in a position where you can trick (or at least try to) people into thinking you have charisma, talent and class. None of it is the case. Not for this movie either. It was an absolutely horrible watch and, as I stated earlier, if it wasn't bad enough already that this film exists, they even made another one afterwards just as poor. Highly not recommended. Skip at any cost. Oh and I almost forget, don't even get me started on the idea that her father (apparently not the biological dad) keeps showing up here as a spirit only to her. This was supposed to be a mix of comedy, drama, emotion etc. but the talent simply isn't there. But hey, simply stating that the man died on the day of the Moon landing back then, is creative enough, isn't it. I don't what else to say. This movie is a shame, most of all because they were actually serious with it all and pretended that this was some kind of insightful character study. I kid you not. Boo!
A few references about this film we got here. Take Speidel again. I must say I think that everybody should act and dress the way they want, but still to me looking at the clothes she wears in her films, not just this one here, always gives off a vibe that she is kinda desperate to make a youthful impression. The colors. The cuts. Everything. Also really fitting how we are supposed to respect her for not adhering to clothes regulations in her profession. Really nice because she agreed on those when she signed the contract. But let's forget that in the face of her evil (former) boss saying that her clothes kinda justified that man grabbing her ass. So yes, there is always a sexual component to Speidel's characters. One thing we always have is guys being romantically or sexually interested in her like the one I just mentioned in the train. Or the guy who threatens her near the end that he will sue her and a few nice words and eye contact from her and he is all happy again and likes her. Man up and don't let her get away with stuff like that. The most ridiculous thing, however, is that we are supposed to like the character. I mean isn't she charmingly clumsy that they tow away her car in the very first scene (happened to all of us right?) or maybe the worst moment for me was when she gets this job near the end (of course she does!) and first thing she does is act really cocky towards the other applicants that are all not even half her age, but of course they pick our beloved Fanny for the job. No words really. Also how dare they use an old Cat Stevens song in this movie. Is there no copyright attached to that. Can some lawyer maybe sue the makers of this film here and the consequence is that this film must not be shown again? Oh well, they would show it anyway without the song then I am sure. Bad news is that as this is still relatively recent, it will be on national television for at least another decade. This is where your GEZ money goes, folks. What else can I say here? I have not even mentioned the key plot about the protagonist finding out that the man she thought to be her father actually wasn't and the real father just died. We see the corpse in the coffin on one occasion. He looks old, but taking into account that Speidel was over 60 already when she made this film, the man must have been (almost) 90 and this old he certainly was not. But hey, maybe they want us to think Speidel is 45 in this film. Sigh. At the same time, we have out kind Fanny agree that a young woman can live with her because this woman also has father issues (at the same time, very realistic) and she confronts her real dad and the man says that it was a ONS and he wants no contact and not be remembered of this affair every day. So as always, the males are despicable here. Either they are disabled or they are weak (the young lawyer) or they are heartless (the boss and the father I just mentioned) or they are dead or they randomly grab female strangers' butt cheeks. How could I forget about him haha. Of course, said woman was also immediately sexually harrassed by a guy she wanted to stay with when she did not know where to sleep, but luckily Fanny is there to comfort her. And of course, she cannot stay for one night only, but almost moves in there it seems. I already mentioned the fairly younng lawyer, the one who constantly acts like a fool and if he has no clue next to the super confident Fanny, but hey at least he knows the meaning of the word monetary. The actor there is pretty much my age, minimally younger, and boy was he bad. Just take the scene when he reads the "I am your father" letter. But Speidel is right up (no, down) there with him and her over-the-top reaction is just as cringeworthy. Ham and over the top are the perfect words to describe Speidel. The biggest challenge acting-wise for her in this film was maybe the moment in which he bursts into tears outside when she is near that car. A prime example of how this actress could not convincingly portray a semi-challenging scene if her life depended on it. But hey, at least she was together with this much younger Italian coffee dude for a long time and this apparently is enough already to get in a position where you can trick (or at least try to) people into thinking you have charisma, talent and class. None of it is the case. Not for this movie either. It was an absolutely horrible watch and, as I stated earlier, if it wasn't bad enough already that this film exists, they even made another one afterwards just as poor. Highly not recommended. Skip at any cost. Oh and I almost forget, don't even get me started on the idea that her father (apparently not the biological dad) keeps showing up here as a spirit only to her. This was supposed to be a mix of comedy, drama, emotion etc. but the talent simply isn't there. But hey, simply stating that the man died on the day of the Moon landing back then, is creative enough, isn't it. I don't what else to say. This movie is a shame, most of all because they were actually serious with it all and pretended that this was some kind of insightful character study. I kid you not. Boo!